Tuesday, April 18, 2017

The man cave

MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat

Daily conversation - The man cave:
MK: Aww ... you two look so cute! Are you protecting your Daddy?

BC: HALT or I'll bite your legs off!
MK: You're guarding the door to the bedroom so Daddy's safe while he works?
BC: I mean it, Momma! One more step and I'll open my can of super, HUGE, furry fury whoop-a$$ on you!

MK: What? WHY?!?!
BC: Daddy said this is our man cave. Only MANS are allowed! You're a GIRL, Momma.
The Boy: That is NOT what I said!
BC: Uh huh!
The Boy: Un uh.
BC: Did so!
The Boy: Did not!
BC: YES!
The Boy: Quit arguing with me! 
BC: Quit arguing with ME!

The Boy: Before I moved in, I couldn't imagine having an entire conversation with a cat ... but now, I'm arguing with one!
BC: Not very successfully ... from the looks of it! It's not MY fault you don't remember, Daddy!
The Boy: You're a CAT! 
BC: Is it state the obvious day or are you just jealous because you're NOT a cat?
The Boy: I refuse to argue with a cat!
BC: VICTORY!! If you give up, that means I win!

The Boy: I'm not GIVING up!
BC: Face it. I won.
The Boy: No, you didn't.
BC: Yes, I did.
The Boy: And I'm arguing with you AGAIN!
BC: Feel free to give up again.
The Boy: I DID NOT GIVE UP!
BC: Sheesh! Somedaddy's grumpy today!

The Boy: I find it interesting that you only call me Daddy when it's convenient for you.
MK: HEY! I have more balls than the two of you combined!
BC: A little late to the party, aren't you, Momma? We were on the topic of the man cave HOURS ago!
{Pause}
BC: Wait a ... YOU HAVE BALLS, Momma?
MK: I meant figuratively!
BC: Momma said she has more balls than the two of us ...
The Boy: I'm RIGHT HERE, Bear. I HEARD what she said.
BC: Aren't you going to set her straight?
The Boy: You don't have balls, Bear.
BC: WHAT?!?! They're right ... err ... right ... umm ... give me a minute ...


{Pause}
BC: Oh, who cares where they are! I'm a BOY. I have balls! What about male solidarity?
The Boy: I take it you and your Momma haven't had the TALK.
BC: The TALK? About what? The one where she tells me to keep my paws AND claws to myself? The one about poor targeting and the spray getting all over the wall next to the litter box? The one about scratching myself in public? Not sticking my paw in the toaster? Me not stealing food? She's ALWAYS talking to me! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
The Boy: Never mind.
BC: If I didn't have balls, would I do this?

The Boy: Wha ...
BC: HIIIIIII-YAH!
MK: OWWWW!
BC: Momma's a ginormous GIANT compared to me! And I'm not scared of HER! That's balls!
The Boy: That MIGHT count ... if I didn't know that you're scared of everything else ... you just know your Momma won't retaliate. So you have no problem being Mr. Tough Pants with her.
BC: I attack you too! Remember "I'm the shark?"
The Boy: Only when your Momma's around to protect you!
BC: Yeah. Her doughnut butt would flatten you. You'd be a boycake! Hahahahaha.
The Boy: Hahaha ... uh, honey? WAIT! Come back!
MK: {from the other room} YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER!
BC: HEY! I don't want to be stuck with HIM!

The Boy: Oh, yeah? I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH YOU EITHER!
BC: Then leave!
The Boy: I LIVE here!
BC: Yeah. Don't rub it in!
MK: {coming back} That's ENOUGH!
BC: Sheesh. The Boy needs YOU to protect him!

The Boy: She's not protecting me! She's protecting YOU!
BC: I don't need protection! ESPECIALLY from YOU! I'm the shark.

MK: You two are ridiculous! I bet you two don't even remember what started all this.
The Boy: Ummm ...
MK: The man cave?
The Boy: I didn't say that this is our man cave and you aren't allowed in it!
BC: Yeah. You said we'd have to let her in to make the bed and gather your laundry.
MK: WHAT?!?!?
The Boy: I did not say that!
BC: Oh, yeah. I said that.
MK: BEAR!!! You're BOTH grounded!
BC: Awww, MAN!

The Boy: I NEVER said this was our man cave! I asked Bear to guard my work station!
MK: From what?
The Boy: He kept jumping on my desk, knocking stuff off the desk, and getting in my way, so I asked him to sit behind me and tell me if anyone walks in the room.
BC: YEAH! And he promised me tasty whole chickens!
MK: Let me get this straight ... Bear was annoying you while you worked, so you told him to sit behind you under the guise of "protecting" you so he wouldn't mess around on your desk?
BC: WHAT?!?!?!?! He said his work was conferential and that no one could see his computer screen!
MK: Conferential?
The Boy: CON-FI-DEN-TIAL!
MK: Ah. And you promised him tasty whole chickens in exchange for guarding your work area from himself?
BC: WHAT?!?!?!

MK: And you had no intention of delivering on the tasty whole chickens?
BC: HEY!!!

The Boy: Ummmmm ....
BC: I HATE YOU! No one tricks me and gets away with it! And you DOUBLE tricked me! First, you tricked me off your desk and then you lied about giving me tasty whole chickens!
The Boy: Your Momma tricks you ALL. THE. TIME!!!
BC: HEY!!!
The Boy: She tricks you every night so she can catch you and brush your teeth! She tricks you by giving you treats so that you'll stand where she wants you to - to take your picture!
BC: {to Momma} I HATE YOU TOO!
{Pause}
BC: HMPH! It's a good thing I was undercover and not really protecting you! You don't deserve my protection.
The Boy: Excuse me?
BC: Well, you've gotten better at determining when I want to play, "I'm the shark," so it's really hard to catch you by surprise. I was here undercover - with you thinking I was PROTECTING you - so I could bite your legs off when you got up.

MK: I think you just got outsmarted by a cat. You thought he was protecting your work when he was just lying in wait to attack you.
The Boy: {to Bear} But you bit your Momma when she came in!
BC: Phht. What part of "undercover" don't you understand? I had to PRETEND to protect you so you wouldn't suspect that I was waiting to rip your legs off! Now who's the fool?

MK: Hehehehehe.
The Boy: Don't encourage him!
BC: ENCOURAGE ME! ENCOURAGE ME!!!
MK: Being tricked by the cat happens to the best of us. Though it's much rarer to be taken in by a cat that we think we're tricking.
{Bear starts grooming himself}

BC: And THAT'S how it's done, my friend!

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48 comments:

  1. Ooh, sounds like you got the measure of that boy, even though he did try to stiff you on that tasty chicken! Personally revenge, like tasty chicken, is best served cold... I sense maybe boy needs to watch his back... He could of course hire you to do that?
    Purrs, Erin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha. Creating supply AND demand! That's BRILLIANT! ~Bear Cat

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  2. Maybe only Bears should be allowed in your man cave, Bear. Humans just tend to gum up the works.

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    Replies
    1. You bring up a good point! No humans allowed! ~Bear Cat

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    2. WE get in the way? Which one of the occupants of the house tries to trip people in the early morning?

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    3. You are walking on my carpet ... just saying ... ~Bear Cat

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  3. Wow. He is still so not ready! lol!

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  4. Humans can never win an argument with kitties. When will they learn?

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    Replies
    1. I guess you can't teach an old human new tricks! ~Bear Cat

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    2. Hey, who are you calling old? I'm telling your momma that you called her old! Haha

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    3. Too late. I already told her you said that! ~Bear Cat

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  5. Man Cave, Sman Cave... What you need is a CAT Cave! Similar to the Bat Cave, ONLY BETTER. MOUSES!

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  6. Way to go Bear, I knew you wouldn't cave in!

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  7. Sounds like you have things under control Bear Cat. You did have the Mom laughing out loud. The cat is always the smartest, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hearing people laugh is the highest compliment! Thank you!

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  8. You rule the roost!!!
    The Florida Furkids

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    Replies
    1. I should take bets on how long it will take The Boy to figure that out! ~Bear Cat

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  9. Don't listen to the human--you definitely got balls Bear!!

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    Replies
    1. From The Boy no less! Like HE'S reliable! ~Bear Cat

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  10. It's a wonder anyone gets any work done around your place with these lengthy, circuitous conversations. We definitely think Bear has met his match. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo and Cooper Murphy. Mom say thanks for the kind words about Fiona. She thinks of her and misses her everyday. Mom says that for a little cat, Fiona had a huge personality.

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    Replies
    1. Work?!?! Is that what the humans do? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ~Bear Cat

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  11. Bear, you and I have IMAGINARY balls...our Mamas got rid of them, that's why our Mamas have extra balls...Mama's take ALL the "mans" balls. MOL!! Love, Cody catchatwithcarenandcody

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    Replies
    1. There's a derogatory name for that, isn't there? ;) ~Bear Cat

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  12. Your poor kitty, promised tasty whole chickens and the Boy had no intention to really give you any. :(

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    Replies
    1. Boys can't be trusted! I know ... because I am one! ~Bear Cat

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  13. I enjoyed your post heaps. Cat's have a knack of winning - right?

    If you need any Tabcat help, just holler OK?

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  14. MOL ! What an epic conversation ! Caren and Cody already said exactly what we were thinking about moms and balls ! Purrs

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  15. MOL! "Only MANS are allowed!" :-) Bear, you are too funny. And I see that you're full on calling him Daddy now. But as he points out, only when when it's convenient for you. But that's so sweet!

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    Replies
    1. Not today! He's been MEAN to me today! Err ... okay, okay ... Momma left the two of us alone ... so he was it. No Momma to pet me on my whim. ~Bear Cat

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  16. No tasty whole chickens after a purromiss? Dat's not right Bear, not right at all. Mommy says purromisses are sacred and you should never break 'em. Looks like we've been right all along. Da boy can't be trusted. You must lie in wait and destroy him. What else is he lyin' 'bout? MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. I'm doing the best I can ... but he's not so bad at ear rubs so sometimes I get distracted. ~Bear Cat

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  17. dood....we laffed & lafffed at de laundree sentenze....sorree a head oh time two
    yur mom .....N yea.....for sure....ewe WON thiz argument.....even if de boy thinked
    him did; sad lee... he did knot, but sum timez ya gotta LET peepulz think they did
    .... sew next time ther guard iz down..... happee week a head ~ ♥♥☺☺

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    Replies
    1. Thank goodness the humans are too stupid and let their guard down so often ... makes for easy pickins in the cat contingent. ~Bear Cat

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  18. Ha ha. You totally Jedi mind-tricked the Boy, Bear Cat!

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    Replies
    1. I've had a lot of practice! I do not try ... I just do ;) ~Bear Cat

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  19. Replies
    1. OBVIOUSLY! And I would do her laundry too! ~Bear Cat

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  20. Wow, you definitely won that one, Bear! Who would dare to argue with you again?

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