Friday, January 20, 2017

I'm the shark

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - I'm the shark: 
{Momma's sitting at her desk working ...}
BC: Meow. Meow. MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOW.

MK: Coming to check in?
BC: Meow.

MK: Ummm ... okay.
BC: Pretend I'm the shark.

MK: Excuse me?
{Momma reaches down to pet Bear}.
BC: {CHOMP!}

MK: @#$% it, Bear!
BC: You pretend you're the idio ... err ... human stuck on the desert island ... and I'm the shark.

MK: You're the ...

BC: {CHOMP!}
MK: OWWW!
BC: I'm the shark! Your feet were dangling off the island!

MK: I'm just sitting in my desk chair!
BC: I'm the shark! Your legs were in the water! So I tried to rip them off.
MK: When you get bored, why can't you come up with a NORMAL game?
BC: Like what?
MK: I don't know! Chase your tail ... counter-attack an incursion by invisible aliens?
BC: We're being invaded by invisible aliens AGAIN? I KNEW IT! And you told me I was being a crazypants!
MK: {sigh} No. A game isn't REAL. There aren't ACTUAL invisible aliens.
BC: Oooh! I know of a game!
MK: Great!
BC: I'll play empty the shelves above the toilet into the toilet! And then a round of un-stuff the comforter.

BC: Naaaah NAH. Naaaah NAH. N-AH N-AH N-AH ...
MK: Be ...
BC: {CHOMP!}
MK: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Hey! I needed to put my foot on the floor to turn the chair and ...
BC: {CHOMP!}

MK: OWWWWWW!
BC: I'm the shark! Your arm was hanging over the arm rest.
MK: I don't like this game.
BC: I don't like being bored.
MK: Then play with any of your million toys!
BC: I don't want to play with my toys. I want to be a shark!
MK: Then be a shark with your toys!
BC: But they don't MOVE! I want to be a shark hunting living prey!
MK: Okay. I'll put you in the bathtub then. You could use a bath because your butt, that spends 75% of my day IN MY FACE, is kind of stinky. 
BC: My butt isn't stinky! YOUR butt is stinky!
MK: You smell my butt?
BC: NO! Of course I don't smell your butt, what kind of sicko do you think I am?
MK: In the bath, you can play shark even more realistically because you'll actually be in water. You can do a little kitty-paddle ... get it? Doggy-paddle ... kitty-paddle ... hahahaha.
BC: Err ... umm ... maybe later ...
{Momma hears a commotion behind her ...}
BC: I'm the SHARK!!!!
{Pause}
BC: Naaaah NAH. Naaaah NAH. N-AH N-AH N-AH ...


MK: {to herself} He is AWFULLY cute when he's attacking things not attached to my person ...
{Bear disappears for a little while}.
BC: Can you help me with some signs?

MK: I'm going to regret this ... for what?
BC: Fleece string is missing.

BC: Here's the sign.
BC: It took me FOREVER to write this one ... but you can make copies of it and I'll hang them up around here.

MK: There are so many problems with this ... I don't even know where to start.
BC: "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity." (1)

MK: I'm sorry?
BC: That's a quote I read. 
MK: Of for the ...
BC: "We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." (2)
MK: Bear, I meant problems ...
BC: "Every problem is an opportunity in disguise," Momma. (3)
MK: THAT'S ENOUGH QUOTES!
BC: But I saved the best for last! "Problems are the greatest reflection of possibilities to be and failures are the best teachers in the world." (4)
{Silence}
MK: How can your fleece string be alive? Or dead for that matter? And what's the reward?
BC: "Reward follows ..."
MK: STOP with the quotes! I'm talking literally, not philosophically!
BC: "Transformation literally means going beyond your form." (5)
MK: You're just picking ONE word ... 
BC: "One word ... "
MK: BEAR! Fleece string isn't missing! It's waiting to be washed!
BC: But I want to play with him now!

MK: Then you shouldn't have thrown up on him earlier today!
BC: So you deprive me of my favorite toy?
MK: No. I thought your "regular" string or your micey were you favorite toys.
BC: I reserve the right to change my mind.
MK: You can wait a few days until my next wash. You have tons of toys.
BC: I have nothing to play with!
MK: Bear, you just chose the ONE TOY you couldn't find.
BC: So?
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
MK: And how would putting up signs around here help even if he WAS missing? We're the only two living things here!
BC: You forgot our spiders!
MK: Spiders can't read! And even if they could, they can't talk!
BC: Do they know sign language?
MK: YOU don't know sign language! And you'd rip the legs off the spider before it could sign anything to you anyway!
BC: You bring up a good point. I SHOULD wait for spiders to communicate. If they don't ... then off with their legs!
MK: That wasn't even the point!
BC: "The point in history ..."
MK: BEAR! 
BC: What?
MK: You're trying to annoy me because you're bored. 
BC: Would you prefer I break something?
MK: You just want to get my goat, right?
BC: You have a goat? Is a tasty whole goat? Do goats taste good? Because if they do, I definitely want your goat!
MK: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!

MK: Dang it! I un-liked our Facebook page again!
BC: WHAT?!?! Why would you un-like our page? That's a new low in your self-esteem problems!
MK: No. I don't do it on purpose!
BC: Not to mention that if you really hated yourself, you'd think one un-like would be enough ... but NOOOOOOOO. You have to be the overachiever in hating yourself and un-like our page over and over again! Most people would consider once enough.
MK: BEAR! For whatever reason, after the last change to Facebook pages, I started ACCIDENTALLY un-liking our page when trying to do stuff on our page.
BC: You'd think you'd learn after the first time.
MK: I have no idea how it happens! I don't even have any clue WHEN it happens! It will show that I like our page and our page likes will go down ... and then a few days later the "like" option is back for me again! Maybe if I didn't have a pain in my butt cat trying to play shark with me, I could focus on my work.
BC: Phht. What fun would that be?
MK: {mumbling} The cat who wants to play "shark" and bite me then gives me a lecture on hating myself. I swear ...
BC: Naaaah NAH. Naaaah NAH. N-AH N-AH N-AH ...
{Momma runs and closes herself in the bathroom}.
BC: And THAT, my friends, is how to train your idio ... err ... human. The desk chair is MINE. ALLLLL MIIIIIIINE.


Quote attribution: 
(1) "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."  ~Joseph Sugarman. 
(2) "We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." ~Lee Iacocca.
(3) "Every problem is an opportunity in disguise." ~John Adams.
(4) "Problems are the greatest reflection of possibilities to be and failures are the best teachers in the world." ~Catherine Pulsifer.
(5) "Transformation literally means going beyond your form." ~Wayne Dyer

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28 comments:

  1. I think you've got the shark thing down pretty good Bear!

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  2. Yup BC, you make such a good shark but we bet that hurts when bite the MK. Great pictures as always.

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    1. Sometimes we must inflict a little pain to keep those humans in line ;) ~Bear Cat

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  3. Dangling feet... that is definitely a temptation for Kitteh-Shark!

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  4. We love your conversations with your mom, Bear!

    Athena likes to play bite my leg sometimes.

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Thank you! I haven't learned the play bite ... I go all in or "go home." ;) ~Bear Cat

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  5. someone had way to much catnip. MOLMOLMOL
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    1. Errr ... YEEEEEEAH. Cat nip! THAT'S what it was! ~Bear Cat

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  6. oooooh The Shark game is one of our favorites!!! Oh, and we hope you find your fleece string! We would be so upset if we lost ours, so we understand what you're going through.

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    Replies
    1. Momma's washing it as we speak ... so that means I can't want to play with it anymore ;) ~Bear Cat

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  7. Replies
    1. Thank you! I do have lots of practice ... ~Bear Cat

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  8. Oh Bear, we don't know what to say. We're thinkin' shark might not be da bestest game to play. After all, ifin you were to rip your mommys arms from her body, how would she pawssibly be able to feed ya'? As fur dat likin' of da pages, we didn't know you could unlike your own page. Guess we better check it out. Knowin' mommy, she coulda disliked us too. MOL We're sendun' big hugs to you both.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. We didn't make that very clear, did we? Our blog page is connected to Momma's personal page. More than a few times, she's found that her personal page "un-liked" the blog page. You're right ... I suppose I should leave her arms ... her lower half is more juicy anyway ;) ~Bear Cat

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  9. As Brian said above, you have the Shark thingy really nailed down. You'll have to think of something new.

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    Replies
    1. You're right. The element of surprise is necessary for any cat's repertoire! ~Bear Cat

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  10. You make a great shark :) I like all those quotes, you are a clever boy.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I've had lots of practice "sharking" ... ~Bear Cat

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  11. Great shark impression. I unfriended Pop once on FB. MOL! He stepped on my tailio.

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha! You're MY kind of girl, CK ;) ~Bear Cat

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  12. Bear, maybe you should change your name to Jaws. ;)

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    1. Oooh! I LIKE that!!!! I REALLY like that! ~Bear "The Jaws" Cat

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  13. Looks like you have the temperament, just missing a certain fin on your back. 😊

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    Replies
    1. Hmmmm ... I might be able to improvise ;) ~Bear Cat

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  14. Bear, you make an excellent cat-shark. Can't wait to see you during Shark Week!

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    Replies
    1. Ooooh! Is that a thing? I'm totally down for that! ~Bear Cat

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