Tuesday, August 9, 2016

The interview

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
TB: The Boy (Who's "The Boy?" The Boy was introduced in The Boy.)

Daily conversation - The interview (Tom, Dick and Harry - part 2):
{Momma and the Boy are deep in conversation as Bear finally comes out from under the bed ... after two days of hiding whenever the Boy is around}
BC: {clearing his throat} AHEM!
TB: {pointing to Bear} Look who ...
BC: Who are you?
TB: I ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: Am I interrupting something?
TB: Well, no. We were just talking ...
BC: RATS!
{Pause}
BC: Excuse you. I intend to make an ENTRANCE. 
{Bear walks out of the room}
MK: {rolling her eyes} (SIGH).
TB: He's ...
BC: HELLO! The Great Bear Cat, otherwise known as Male Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest, ARRIVES. You may admire me now.
TB: Male princess?
MK: {whispering} Don't ask.
TB: I thought he was mostly joking about your history of emasculation, but you call him 'princess?' He's got a ...
BC: SILENCE!
{Silence}
BC: Who are you?
TB: My name is ...
MK: Uh oh.
BC: Did I ask your name? I want to know your intentions.
TB: Well, I'd like to get to know ...
BC: {looking at Momma} (SIGH). Another half-wit?
MK: BEAR!
TB: Another?!?!
BC: Since you're just a couple thousand steps behind, let me be frank.
TB: Oh. Is Frank a special nickname?
BC: (SIGH). Do you intend to give me quality back scratches and ear rubs?
TB: Well, I ...
BC: Yes or no.
TB: Err ... yes.
BC: Do you intend to take my side in any argument Momma and I have?
TB: Well, she seems fairly rational ...
{Silence}
TB: But I guess everyone has shortcomings at SOME time.
MK: EXCUSE ME?
TB: Well, I didn't mean ...
BC: When Momma's starving me, do you intend to slip me a couple extra treats?
TB: You don't look like you're starv ... {stopping as he notices Bear's glare}.
{Pause}
TB: Yes, I see the problem.
MK: Are you SERIOUS?
TB: Well, he does look a little thin in the ... {looking at Bear} in the ...
BC: Do you have any tasty whole chickens?
TB: No. What ...
BC: Do you own or intend to own a tasty whole chicken farm?
TB: Hahaha. I can't imagine a tasty non-whole chicken farm ... {seeing Bear's look}. No chicken farm. Err ... is that a problem?
BC: (SIGH) Where do you find these men?
TB: MEN?!?!?
BC: I'm pretty special you know! Not just anyone can touch me and be gifted with my presence. Not to mention that it takes a real man to appreciate my excessive personality and extreme handsomeness. 
MK: Bear ...
BC: Nope. He needs to know the rules.
{Pause}
BC: Test time.
TB: TEST?!?! No one said anything about a test!
BC: Give me your best ear rub ... oh. Since you seem a little slow ... I mean GIVE ME your best ear rub. You fail if you give yourself an ear rub. That's just weird.
MK: He's hustling you for an ear rub.
BC: Shh. Women are meant to be seen, not heard.
TB: Hahahahaha ... he's really ... {seeing Momma's look} ... err ... ummm ... crap.
BC: By the way, if you take the blame for everything I "don't" do ... I just might call you 'Daddy.'
MK: Right. I'm sure he'll be falling all over himself to take responsibility for chewing on the toaster cord. The one with clear fang marks.
TB: Well ... ACTUALLY ...
MK: Don't you have something better to do, Bear?
BC: No. This date is pretty fun! You should have more of them ...
TB: Well, I hope to spend more time getting to know ...
BC: ... but only with guys with tasty whole chickens. 
{Pause}
BC: FAIL! You're dismissed. BYE!
MK: BEAR!
TB: He's kidding, right?
BC: I don't make jokes. Though I've been known to change my mind for an ear rub or twenty.
TB: I can handle that ...
BC: {eyeing the Boy suspiciously} Are your hands clean? My fur deserves nothing less.
TB: I think so ...
BC: Wash them.
MK: BEAR!
BC: No. Not negotiable. Contamination of my pristine fur is against the rules.
{The Boy comes back from washing his hands and gives Bear an ear rub}
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
TB: What a good girl ...
BC: WHAT?!?!
TB: (BLEEP)! Sorry. My cat's a girl. I'm used to saying, "good girl."
BC: Is she pretty?
TB: Well, I guess ...
BC: Hmmm. You may proceed to the back scratch portion of the interview.
TB: Hahahaha ... oh, you're serious.
{Pause ... then the Boy starts scratching Bear's back}
BC: Oooooooooooh! PURRRRRR ... 
{Pause}
BC: You're okay. Until a guy with a tasty whole chicken farm comes along.
MK: Bear!
BC: You kids have fun {Bear walks away}.
TB: He's ... he's ...
MK: One of a kind?
TB: Yes.
MK: Welcome to my life.

Pictures of the Day:
Some cat loves his Momma ...

Featured posts of the Day:
*** The Boy was introduced in The boy.
*** To read more about Male Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest ... "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 22.

16 comments:

  1. guess TB should be glad there is only one cat in the house :)

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    Replies
    1. My Momma says I'm more than enough cat for her ;)

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  2. Pssst! Bear, ONLY two tests? I know peep isn't dating, not into those sort of exotic fruit, but I do think you need a few more tests... maybe mousing, and cream storage... most importantly, Nip distillation and distribution (to you). purrs ERin

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm ... you're right. I wouldn't want to be considered 'easy!'

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  3. The man might not appreciate being referred to as tuberculosis.....you know....TB....

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  4. The Boy seems compliant Bear...you should give him a chance...Heeheehee,"contamination of my pristine furs..." Agreed!:p

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    Replies
    1. {sigh} I suppose I COULD give him a chance ... his back scratches ARE pretty amazing ;) ~Bear Cat

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  5. I love these photos of Bear! He is so cute. It sounds like he has some quite lofty kitty goals too! There is nothing wrong with wanting a whole chicken farm to yourself. :)
    -Purrs from your friends at www.PlayfulKitty.net

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Of course, I'd share it with Manna and Dexter too :)

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  6. We think you gave The Boy more than the once over, Bear.

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  7. No tasty chicken farm? No dating your Mama. All she needs is you handsome princess Bear.

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    Replies
    1. Momma says not everything is about me. Phht. Clearly she doesn't know me ;)

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  8. So there's a girl cat, eh? The plot thickens!

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