Tuesday, August 30, 2016

The Boy Returns

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat


Daily conversation - The Boy Returns:
BC: Are you talking to THE BOY?
MK: Shhhhush!
BC: HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who are you talking to?

MK: {into the phone} He ignores me all day long and then the phone rings and I've got cat butt in my face!
BC: It IS handsome cat butt, if I might say so myself!
{Silence as Momma listens}
MK: {into the phone} Yes. He doesn't take no for an answer.
BC: HEY! I'm right here! I can hear you!!!!

MK: {into the phone} Okay. We'll talk later. Bye.
BC: IT'S ABOUT TIME!
{Pause}
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
MK: Do you try to be annoying?
BC: Why are you talking to The Boy?
MK: Because I like him.
BC: But he made you cry.
MK: Well, yes. I have issues.
BC: You're telling me!
{Pause}
BC: Umm ... not helping?
MK: I naturally assume that any problem is because I'm not good enough or worth fighting for ... or any of my other self-esteem issues.
BC: You know what would make you good enough?
MK: Uh oh.
BC: TASTY WHOLE CHICKENS!
{Pause}
BC: But he hurt you!
MK: Well ... ummm ... sometimes people make mistakes.
BC: You mean like when you accidentally sprayed the dry spray deodorant in your eyes?
MK: Well ....
BC: Or when you jumped ten feet because the dishwasher started running and frightened you? Or when you fell out of your desk chair TWICE in one week?
MK: Yeah. Thank you for that.
BC: My pleasure.
MK: I'm sure.
BC: So you're still talking to The Boy?
MK: Yes. 
BC: Hmph. You forgive people WAY too easily!
MK: I forgive people AND cats way too easily. Remember when you bit me just because I tried to sit in my desk chair? Or when you ripped up my desk chair just because I was standing there watching?

MK: Or when you broke the glass on the counter? Or one of the million times you stole my desk chair?
BC: Err ... RATS!
{Pause}
BC: What does he have that I don't?!?!? HHHHUUUUUHHHHH?!?!?
MK: Well ...
BC: I give you unlimited cuddles! Sure ... I don't do kisses, but I'm cuddly! I'm cute! AND I let you scoop my litter box!
MK: What?
BC: You get to scoop my litter box.
MK: I'm sorry, Bear ... but why would I enjoy scooping your litter box?
BC: Well, not just ANYONE gets to scoop my litter box! I mean, I work HARD to give you something of quality. We BOND over what's left in my litter box!
MK: I don't even know what to say to that.
BC: You COULD lick my butt for me though ... my real mom would ... do you lick The Boy's butt?
MK: BEAR!
BC: I'm super cute too!


MK: He's cute in his own way!
BC: Oh? Does he carry a string around like a teddy bear?
MK: Bear ... that's not cute when you take your string in your litter box!
BC: Does he take his string in his litter box? I don't see you complaining!
MK: He doesn't have a litter box! 
BC: Just because he doesn't have a litter box doesn't mean his poop doesn't stink!
MK: At least, I don't think he's got a litter box.
BC: What do you know about this guy if you don't know whether he has a litter box or not?!?!?
MK: How did we get in this conversation? It feels like a bad trip.
BC: Bad trip? You mean like yesterday when you tripped over your own feet and almost catcaked me?
MK: Bear ... you were sprawled out in the middle of the hall IN THE DARK. I didn't trip over my own feet.
BC: You almost catcaked me!
MK: Maybe you shouldn't lay in the middle of the hall!
BC: Maybe you should watch where you're going!
MK: It was DARK!
BC: I could see!
MK: Then why didn't you move?
BC: You've reached Bear Cat ... I invoke my Fifth Amendment rights against self incrimination ... BEEP!
MK: Bear, cats aren't covered under the Bill Of Rights.
BC: WHAT?!?! {CHOMP}.

MK: OWW! What was that for?
BC: For not including cats in the Bill of Rights!
MK: Bear, it wasn't my decision!
BC: I bite you pretty well, don't I?
MK: What?
BC: I bet The Boy doesn't bite you as well as I can!
MK: I'm sorry, is that supposed to be a BAD THING?
BC: {flicking his tail and walking away} You've reached Bear Cat ... I'm ignoring you ... BEEP!
{Silence for fifteen minutes}
{Phone rings}
MK: {into the phone} Hello?
{Silence as Momma listens}
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MK: Oh FOR THE LOVE of delicious doughnuts! {into the phone} Yes. He's back.
{Silence as Momma listens}
MK: Well, yeah. Of course I'm petting him! Why wouldn't I?

BC: YEAH! Take THAT, BOY!
{Silence as Momma listens}
MK: {into the phone} Yeah, I guess that reinforces the behavior. But he's cute! You try to resist.
BC: Yeah! I'm CUTE! And IRRESISTIBLE! Take THAT! 
{Pause}
BC: And I'm the one that's here too! I don't see HIM in your lap!
{Pause}
BC: Which reminds me ... I need to poop. BYE!
MK: {into the phone} Yes, you heard that right, he DID just tell us he needs to poop.
{Silence as Momma listens}
MK: {into the phone} No, I have no idea why he feels the need to share that.
BC: Momma? Where's my string? I can't poop without my string! I require company!
{Silence as Momma listens}
MK: {into the phone} Welcome to my life. I just try not to encourage him.
BC: ENCOURAGE ME!! ENCOURAGE ME!
BC: {Seeing the look on Momma's face} Sheesh. You'd think I'm INTERRUPTING something!

Picture of the Day:
Yes. Bear Cat IS adorable.

Featured posts of the Day:

26 comments:

  1. Hey there Bear Cat you look like you are getting your daily dose of petting. Well done human!

    Emma and Buster

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  2. It looks like you are darn good at putting the bitey on the Mom!

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  3. No Bill of Rights for Cats. Shame!!!!! What where they thinking??

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  4. Bear, you'll always be first in Momma's heart! Just make sure The Boy treats her right...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bear, we agree...you are waaaaaaay more cuddly than any boy.

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  6. Poor Bear, why doesn't your Momma realize all she needs you are so handsome and sweet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, you know, sometimes she DOES embarrass me ... ~Bear Cat

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  7. Bear, we're positive that no Boy could ever be as cute as you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am sure you will soon have the boy wrapped around your paws.

    P.S.: No Bill of Rights for cats? Outrageous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm working on it ... the inclusion of cats in the Bill of Rights AND the boy wrapped around my little claw ... ~Bear Cat

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  9. Well, if your mom can forgive the boy, you may just have to as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RATS! I have a very long memory ... except for when apologies include a tasty whole chicken or two. ~Bear Cat

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    2. Then I guess he better bring you that tasty whole chicken!

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  10. Bear, if derailing a conversation were an olympic sport... ; )

    Just know that unlike cats, boys are fallible. Girls too. Some of them are pretty nice to have around though. And quite possibly, are your only chance at a tasty whole chicken. (!)

    Please tell your momma that she is doing SUCH a wonderful job taking and sharing photos of your handsomeness. (I know... with a subject as handsome as you–)

    xo
    Glogirly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! She does alright sometimes on the pictures ... of course, subjects are much more handsome than they appear ... but she'd have to fight off the lady cats if the pictures showed my true level of handsomeness ;) Momma says I'm one of a kind. OBVIOUSLY! ~Bear Cat

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  11. Hmm, peeps have plenty of plates of tuna for such... er... sorry, plati tudes for such happenings but at the end of the day, as the wise cat once said, see the colour of the tasty chicken/cream/mouse before you pounce! PS do you prefer sisal or synthetic string with your litter box appointments?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Plati-tunas? I'm IN! My string is actually a bunch of torn up fabric tied together. My Momma didn't like that I chew through regular string so she made THIS kind of string thing that isn't really string. Like a cat worth its stripes wouldn't notice! Hmph. ~Bear Cat

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  12. HOly cat - seriouslies? She was STILL TALKING ON THE PHONE after all THAT? ~ Faraday

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    Replies
    1. I know! ****THIS**** is what I have to put up with! ~Bear Cat

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