Monday, August 8, 2016

Tom, Dick and Harry

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

The Boy: The Boy (Who's "The Boy?" The Boy was introduced in The Boy.)

Daily conversation - Tom, Dick and Harry:
{Conversation between Momma and the Boy as they walk in the house}
BC: Oh, Momm .... Wha ...
{Pause}
BC: Aww ... HHEEEEEEELLLLL NO! NOT AGAIN!
The Boy: Again?!?!
MK: He's kidding.
BC: NOPE!
MK: Bear! We saw you! Come back!
BC: Bite me!
MK: Come say 'hi!'
BC: HI!
MK: No. Come out from under the bed and say 'hi.'
BC: But I can say 'hi' perfectly fine from here!
MK: Bear ...
BC: No.
MK: Please?
BC: Must you subject me to the poor taste you have in the males of your species?
MK: Bear! This one is different.
BC: Sure. You say that every time!
The Boy: Every time?
MK: BEAR!
BC: Does he know about the Big Dodo? Because I'm pretty sure the Big Dodo all by himself should disqualify you from dating forever.
MK: BEAR!
BC: Don't you have something better to be doing? Like giggling and twirling your hair? 
MK: Bear, be nice!
BC: I'm a cat. With a chip on both shoulders, four paws full of claws, AND teeth. NICE?!?!?
MK: {to the Boy} It's not you. He's scared of all men.
The Boy: MEN?!?! How many ...
BC: Am not!
MK: Are too!
BC: Am not!
MK: Are too!
BC: Well, I'm not afraid of the ones you aren't dating! 
{Pause}
BC: Excuse me for not getting excited by every bomb, prick, and hairy.
MK: You mean Tom, Dick, and Harry?
BC: There are more?
MK: What?!?
BC: Who is this? Tom or Dick or Harry? Are the other two outside?
The Boy: Other two?
MK: No ...
BC: Don't expect me to call any of them daddy!
MK: Well, that's kind of premature.
BC: Are you calling me juvenile?
MK: No! Premature means ...
BC: You know, it's bad enough when you date them one at a time. But three guys at once? 
The Boy: Three ....
MK: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
BC: Hehehehehe. I guess if there's three, you need to say everything three times.
The Boy: THREE?!?!
BC: Tell him to keep his filthy paws to himself! No one touches my Momma's pussy cat except for her!
MK: Oh, come on, Bear! 
BC: My fur is pristine! I won't be tainted by the stain of iniquity.
The Boy: Iniquity? What goes on around here?
BC: Believe me, you don't want to know.
MK: Wait, wait, wait! He means ...
The Boy: {looking around suspiciously} Why do you say everything three times?
MK: I ...
BC: Do you have balls?
The Boy: Excuse me?
BC: Balls! Do you have balls?
The Boy: Well, I'm not sure ...
BC: You're not sure you have balls?!?! You must not be the sharpest marker in the pack.
MK: Pencil.
BC: Whatever. {looking back toward the Boy} Because Momma neutered me. Don't say I didn't warn you ... SNIP!
The Boy:  Umm ...
BC: Just so you know her history of emasculation.
MK: BEAR! That's not the same ...
The Boy: Well, ACTUALLY ...
{Silence}
The Boy: I like your pussy ... 
{Silence}
The Boy: I mean YOUR CAT!! He's spunky!
MK: You can have him.
The Boy: Well, I didn't mean ...
BC: WOMEN! I heard they're not even from this planet ... nope. Women are from VENUS, dude! VERIFIED aliens!
The Boy: Hahahaha ... {seeing Momma's glare} ... I mean ...
MK: Don't encourage him!
BC: Encourage me! Encourage me!
MK: Why don't you come out from under the bed then, Mr. Tough Pants?
BC: Umm ... err ... YOU'VE REACHED BEAR CAT. I'M NOT AVAILABLE AT THE MOMENT. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE SO I CAN IGNORE IT!
{Silence}
BC: RATS! I forgot the ... BEEEEEP!
The Boy: Hahahahahaha {seeing Momma's glare} I mean ... 

Pictures of the Day:
Be careful ladies ... this man cat is DEFINITELY swoon-worthy! 
He calls these pictures, "To all the torties I've loved before ..."


Featured posts of the Day:
*** The Boy was introduced in The boy.

"Oh, dear kitty gods! Please deliver us from this atrocity of boydom! I don't know how many more times I can handle my coat being soaked by tears! In the name of tuna, chicken, and beef. A MAN!
ps - If this boy should happen to own a tasty whole chicken farm, you may ignore this plea for relief from my Momma's stupidity."

*** To read more about Bear's forays into the world of human personals ...

16 comments:

  1. Hi Bear, you keep on looking after your mom, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise..... unless of course it's your mom, or maybe the President.... but not that Mr Trumps as anybody who is named after a horses rear end noise, ain't to be trusted, no ma'am! purrs ERin PS have you thought of running for president yourself? I understand you can get anything at the White House... even tasty whole chickens!

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    Replies
    1. Good point. A cat is a natural fit for a White House ... much like your palace :) ~Bear Cat

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  2. Absolutely my FAVORITE of your posts thus far!!! I am still rolling on the floor about "bomb, prick, and hairy" I am dying!!!!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it :) Yes, my Momma was rolling on the floor too. I don't understand what's so funny?!?!? ~Bear Cat

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  3. Replies
    1. Men are trouble. Except for me of course! ~Bear Cat

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  4. OMC, Bear, you are too funny! "Bomb, prick, and hairy" had the head peep laughing so hard that we we had to check on her to be sure she wasn't choking on her drink.

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    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it :) Yes, my Momma was rolling on the floor too. I don't understand what's so funny?!?!? ~Bear Cat

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  5. Whoa! Just whoa! Hmmm, you're only innerested in torties?

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  6. You are a handsome boy. I didn't know you were into torties, sorry, mine is already taken my Toby of Kitty Kaperz. Good job making sure the man your Momma brought home is acceptable.

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  7. Oh my goodness, Bear. You had an intruder in da house! I think you secretly like him. Olive loves your mancat pictures today, Bear.

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  8. A BOY?!! Oh dear. It might be time to share your mama , Bear. Sharing is...um... caring...we feel , yak, yak, yak, a hairball coming on...

    the cats in the cottage xo

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    Replies
    1. Yak, yak ... a hairball ... hahahahahaha. ~Bear Cat

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