Thursday, March 16, 2017

Giggles

MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat

Daily conversation - Giggles:
MK: I see that! Knock it off you two!
The Boy: Wait ... what?!?! We're not doing anything! 
MK: I'd believe that if I didn't see you two huddled together and giggling.
BC: I TOLD you she has eyes in the back of her head! Pay up.

The Boy: That's anatomically impossible! She's not even looking at us! And I don't giggle!
BC: Wanna bet, Giggles?

{Pause}
The Boy: You're killing me, Bear. I'm going broke because of our bets.
BC: You should listen to me then! Or just cut out the middle man and buy me a tasty whole chicken farm!
{Pause}
BC: Wait ... if you're broke, you won't be able to live here anymore, right? Because I can definitely make that happen!
The Boy: Isn't it kind of creepy that she knows what we're doing behind her back?
BC: Nah. You get used to it after awhile. 

The Boy: But HOW?
BC: You forget that for eleven years I've kept my Momma on her toes with my adventures and misfortunes; now she usually knows what I'm going to do BEFORE I do it! She knows all my tricks. All she has to do is LOOK at me to know what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I'm about to do. It really sucks because I don't get away with much anymore. She just KNOWS. Besides, being quiet for more than a few minutes always tips her off. Giggling tips her off too. Her hearing is also first rate ... just try and barf without her hearing it.
The Boy: I don't want to have another barfing contest.
BC: Still upset about the last one?
The Boy: That set me back twenty bucks!
BC: A bit overconfident, are we?
The Boy: Well, I won the p ... pee ... well, you know what contest I mean. I'm starting to think you're a hustler because that's the only bet I've won.
BC: I'm so glad you live here! My tasty whole chicken farm is suddenly within my grasp!
The Boy: You just say that because of all the money you're making and because you blame me for the things you do. You usually don't let me touch you.
BC: Why would I let you touch me? You smell funny! 
The Boy: I do not!
BC: Whatever. 
The Boy: But when you DO let me touch you, you purr and snuggle with me!
BC: Phht. I snuggle with my Momma and you just get in the way.  I'm stuck with you by association.

The Boy: Neither of us is going to be snuggling with her for awhile if we can't figure out how to get away with things around here.
BC: {loud enough so Momma hears} I WON'T PARTICIPATE IN YOUR TROUBLE-MAKING. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET AWAY WITH THINGS AROUND HERE ... DON'T DO THEM!
The Boy: You set me up again!
BC: {talking quietly} In terms of blame, the potential for paybacks sucks infinitely more for you. I'll get my food and loves no matter what! All I have to do is be myself. Being YOURSELF just gets you in trouble!
The Boy: Actually, being ourselves gets BOTH of us in trouble. I just haven't figured out how to use my assets to get out of trouble like you do.
BC: Assets? You have ASSETS?!?!? Time to make more bets!
The Boy: I'm not too bad at ear rubs, am I? That's an asset.
BC: Your ass isn't allowed to touch any part of me ... including my ears! Just keep it in your pants please.
The Boy: No! I was talking about ear rubs with my hands.
BC: Oooh. Good point. Pet me, Dad ... Dad ... Daddy ... PET ME.
MK: Uh oh.
BC: RATS!

The Boy: {frozen in silence} ...
BC: I HATE YOU!
MK: Bear ...
BC: I hate you too!!! This is all your fault for bringing The Boy into my house!
MK: I thought you two were forming an alliance!
BC: We're negotiating that but we still have some details to work out. Like my use of claws and fangs. And his purchase of a tasty whole chicken farm. Details ... details. And now that I know he has assets he didn't disclose ...
{Pause}
BC: DADDY! Sheesh. HCHAAAAACK. CHK CHK HHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCKKK! 
The Boy: Awww ... you left me a present!
BC: Yeah. A PRESENT. That's exactly what that is. Be glad my aim was off.
The Boy: OFF? Another bet?
BC: You should create a suggestion box for yourself.
The Boy: Why? What would you suggest?
BC: GO AWAY!

The Boy: But you jumped in my lap and let me pet you! Well, until you heard your Momma turn the camera on.
BC: If there's no picture, it didn't happen! I'm starting to think the bits of chicken The Boy shared with me were tainted! Yep. I'm FEVER-ISH. That's why I jumped on his lap. I didn't know what I was doing. 
MK: The Boy gave you chicken?
The Boy: Uh oh.
BC: DUDE! He tampered with my chicken!! You just don't mess with a bro's chicken!
The Boy: You should've kept it a secret. Bros before hoes.
BC: Did you just call my Momma a ....

The Boy: Uh oh. I was speaking figuratively. No! Metaphorically. No. You know what I meant! 
BC: Ummmmm .... SOMEBOY's in TROUBLE! 
The Boy: No more chicken behind your Momma's back! 
BC: WHAT?!?! 
MK: Well, I'm glad you at least like The Boy.
BC: "Like" is too strong a word ... we're still in testing mode. He doesn't have possession of the ball yet. The bases are WAY off the menu.
The Boy: BASES?!?
BC: Whatever.
The Boy: Bases are from baseball. Possession of the ball is football or basketball.
BC: See? You're good for something. We need a man cave. 
The Boy: You're the one with the money now.
BC: Good point. Who needs a man cave when he has a tasty whole chicken farm. And no, I'm not sharing!
MK: BEAR! 
BC: RATS!

MK: Put those claws away!
The Boy: WHAT?!?!
MK: He was trying to distract you with inane chatter and then attack you.
BC: SEE?!?!? She knows what I'm going to do before I even do it!
MK: Not bad for the 'hoes' contingent, huh? You wouldn't last fifteen minutes on your own with him.
The Boy: WHOA. How did you ...
MK: A lifetime on the wrong end of his claws.
BC: And now he understands why you can't sleep!
The Boy: Hahahaha. Wait a ... you're kidding, right? Honey? HONEY?!?! BEAR?

Featured posts of the day:

49 comments:

  1. Bear and Momma Kat, mew had us MOL-ing and MOL-ing - mew are just too funny!!!

    And many many congratulations on being a BP finalist, we'll be cheering mew on fur sure!

    BEAR CAT BEAR CAT BEAR CAT BEAR CAT - did mew hear us?

    Happy St Patrick's Day!

    Bestest purrs

    Basil & Co xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PLEASE! Do continue about how wonderful I am! We're so glad to hear you laughing ... that's the highest compliment to us! ~Bear Cat

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  2. Will a whole tasty chicken ever sway Bear to the nice side? We're glued to this saga!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice side? Not for long ... otherwise known as until the chicken is gone ;) ~Bear Cat

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  3. Happy St. Pat's Day Bear!!!
    I hope you are wearing green you don't want to get pinched.
    I'm wearing my green eyes and mom has on shamrock earrings
    Hugs O'madi and O'mom

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    Replies
    1. I have green eyes too! Of course, everyone admires them year-round ;) ~Bear Cat

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  4. Happy St Pat's to you. We are taking a blog break but still have our cat page on Facebook. See ya there.

    Cats of Wildcat Woods

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  5. Bear- since you are making so much money off of those bets Amarula wants to know when you are gonna take her out on a hot (and expensive!) date!!??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heeeeeeeeeeey. Any time! Any date with Amarula would be HOT! And I have to say, I liked your St. Patrick's Day get-up ;) ~Bear Cat

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  6. Nobody ever wins... an argument OR a bet... with a kitteh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is true. We have our ways of getting what we want ;) ~Bear Cat

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  7. Bear, while you're definitely smarter than The Boy, I'm not so sure about Momma. There doesn't seem to be any fooling her. You making all this money off The Boy is brilliant!

    Happy St Patrick’s Day, Bear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Making lemons into lemonade! I can't wait to be left alone with The Boy. He'll be sorry ;) ~Bear Cat

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    2. Hey wait a minute! I went to college just to be out-smarted by a feline? No sir! Not going to happen.....er.....again.

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  8. Yeah, slip of da tongue with da ho' comment huh? Dat's what they always say in da beginnin'. It only goes downhill from here. And just where is dat tasty whole chicken farm he's been purromissin' Bear? Ifin you think you'll ever see dat, 'sepcially ifin ya' give in now, then we got a bridge we wanna sell ya'. MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A bridge to my tasty whole chicken farm? COOL!!! ~Bear Cat

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    2. Now just a minute there, I never promised a tasty whole chicken farm to anybody, and Bear better quit telling people I did. Haha.

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  9. Bear...thanx for stopping bye R blog; itz veree nice ta meet ewe

    we signed up ta follow yur blog sew we will be bye again...oh, N conga
    ratz two ewe & yur mom on bee inn named a finalist...how kewl iz that !!

    pleez feel free ta stop bye trout towne anytime, we all wayz haz foodz
    on de grill 25/8/366....

    N if ya due knot understand uz, thatz oh kay, we due knot understand R
    selves most oh de time

    happee week oh end & lá sona st patrick le sláinte do gach ♣♣♣

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's a secret ... I don't understand half of what I say either. I just demonstrate confidence and the weak-witted humans buy it every time ;) They almost make it TOO easy! Thank you for stopping by ... we can't wait to read about your adventures too! ~Bear Cat

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  10. Bear you TOTALLY RULE!!! Your facial expressions just totally cracked me up! Happy St.Paddy's Day! catchatwithcarenandcody

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! My Mom thanks her lucky stars on the rare occasions I mug for the camera ;) ~Bear Cat

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  11. Best not to mess with the mom eyes, Bear and ahem...the boy. It's the first thing they teach them in mom school. Be nice and stop trying to pull a fast one over your mom, she's smarter than the two of you combined. Just saying; I learned that the hard way.
    Your fur-iend,
    Sam

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    Replies
    1. Don't EVER tell my Momma I said this ... but you're probably right! Fortunately human boys are too stupid to recognize their err ... unintelligence ... so they provide the purr-fect entertainment! ~Bear Cat

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  12. The Boy (Daddy ????) certainly has added an entirely different dimension to your daily chats. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We think so too! We hope he doesn't go anywhere :) ~Bear Cat

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    2. I'm not planning on going anywhere.....as long as Bear keeps in mind that my back is not a trampoline when I'm lying down!

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  13. Hmmm....sounds like someone should maybe sleep with one eye open! :)
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or two ... just to be safe ;) ~Bear Cat

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    2. I have learned that is a good idea around Bear.

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  14. I get the giggles lots, especially when I visit you Bear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The highest compliment we can get! Thank you, Brian! ~Bear Cat

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  15. You're going to have enough money for that tasty whole chicken farm in no time, Bear!

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    Replies
    1. I can't wait! You'll be my first guest, Mudpie! A date?!?! ~Bear Cat

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  16. Happy St. Paddy's Day, Bear! Do you giggle?

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  17. Oh Bear...The Boy is no match for you. :) Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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  18. You are getting rich Bear, you will be able to buy a tasty chicken farm soon.

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  19. It's true! It's true! How is it that moms can see things behind their backs? How is it that they know what you're thinking of doing before you do it? You may be able to outsmart the Boy, but it sounds like Momma Kat is the top of the food chain, Bear!

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    Replies
    1. I knew it! She wants to eat me! I don't blame her of course ... I am pretty special. ~Bear Cat

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  20. Concatulations on being nominated for BlogPaws ! Happy St Patrick's Day ! Purrs

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  21. Testing mode seems to be going well enough! I bet the Momma is happy with that. Congrats to her (and you too, Bear) on the Nose-to-Nose nomination!!!

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  22. You have the boy wrapped around your paws, nice work! Glad you are getting closer to your very own whole chicken farm!

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