Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Bear knocks his luck

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Bear knocks his luck {Knock! Knock!, part 2}:
BC: OOOOOOOOHHHH! Are you going OUTSIDE? HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?

MK: I'm getting the mail. Do you always have to stick your nose ...
BC: I want to go outside!

MK: {sigh}.
BC: {running outside} Do de do de do do do ...
{Thirty seconds pass ... Momma gets back}
MK: BEAR! INSIDE!
{Complete silence in the garden}
MK: Oh, for the love ...
{Momma goes inside to set the mail down}
BC: KNOCK! KNOCK!
MK: Bear! Not again.
BC: KNOCK!!!!!!! KNOCK!!!!!!!!
MK: {as she opens the screen door} Not another night of this ....
{Pause ... Bear hustles inside}
MK: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeellllo.
CAT: MEOW!
MK: Well, aren't you a floofy beauty!
CAT: Mew ... meooooow.
MK: Can I pet you, beautiful?
BC: What's WRONG with you? You choose to be friendly NOW?!?!
MK: Do you have a home, sweetheart?
BC: MOMMA! HURRY UP! Shut the door! SHUT THE DOOR! THIS HOME IS TAKEN!
MK: Oh, come on, Bear. She's a gorgeous long-haired tortie!
BC: I'M GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!
MK: I just want to pet the kitty and see if she has a collar! I'm not going to hurt you, sweetheart ...
CAT: {runs away into the dark}.
MK: @#$!
BC: A cat in our front yard is NOT the time to make friends!
MK: I hope she has a home. Maybe I should go after her?
BC: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
MK: Outside is a dangerous place for a cat, Bear. Especially one that doesn't have a warm place to sleep or an always full food bowl. You should know that.
BC: I DON'T HAVE AN ALWAYS FULL FOOD BOWL!
MK: And yet the vet says you're not missing any meals.
BC: What does he know?!?! He's never seen my food bowl! LOOK! My food bowl is EMPTY! 

MK: Bear ...
BC: And the vet called me a "she" when I had my yearly visit last week! CLEARLY, he's missing a few marbles.
MK: Like you're missing ... err ...
{Pause}
MK: You remember what it's like to be starving, right?
BC: I STARVE RIGHT NOW! Look at my emaciation! I'm skin and bones!

MK: {sigh} You weigh almost fourteen pounds, Bear. 

BC: YEAH! Fourteen pounds of STARVING!
MK: Would you like to go on a diet and only be twelve pounds of starving?
BC: {just staring at Momma}.

MK: You remember what it's like to be cold and scared, right?
BC: But you're MY Momma!

MK: Bear, her life matters too.
BC: I'm the only cat who you can talk to! I'm the only cat that OWNS you!
MK: Oh, Bear.
BC: THAT'S IT! I'm putting a sign on the front door so cats know this house is taken!

MK: No more post-its, Bear!
BC: Would you prefer I mark our front door by another method?
MK: Okay ... post-its it is!
BC: La de da ... de da ... do de ... {lick, lick, licked-y lick!}.

MK: Ummm, Bear?!?!
BC: DO YOU MIND?!? I'm sprucing myself up a bit before you open the door again!
BC: Which reminds me! Hmph. What took you so long to let me in? I was knocking on the door with my paws for HOURS!
MK: The boy who cried wolf.
BC: WHAT?!?! There was a WOLF out there too? ARE YOU TRYING TO HAVE ME KILLED?!?!?
MK: No. It's an EXPRESSION. Because ...
BC: Express this ... I HATE YOU!
MK: Maybe if you hadn't run around yesterday knocking to try to tell your "Knock! Knock!" jokes, I would've known there was a problem tonight.
BC: That cat was trying to kill me!
MK: She was not.
BC: Girls are trouble!
MK: I suppose so.
BC: Excuse me?!?!?
MK: Huh?
BC: What are you trying to say about Bonnie?
MK: Who's ...
BC: You just want me to be alone for the rest of my life!
MK: You asked the cat's name?
BC: OBVIOUSLY.
MK: I thought she was trying to kill you.
BC: OBVIOUSLY.
MK: Ummm ... what's obvious about that?
BC: You love someone ... they use that against you to kill you.
MK: Your idea of relationships is a little warped, Bear.
BC: Says the Momma that spent months CRYING! I ALMOST didn't have enough band-aids to put you back together! 
BC: And I let you play with my favorite toys (except for my chicken leg) during that time too!
BC: And who can forget this?!?!
MK: I see your point.
BC: OBVIOUSLY.
MK: But love isn't all bad, Bear! What about your favorite tortie?
BC: She's DIFFERENT. She's SPECIAL.
MK: So was the Boy ...
BC: {just staring at Momma}.
MK: Err ... anyway! Love isn't all bad! I mean, look at you and I!
BC: Don't remind me!

MK: HEY!
BC: A-NNOY-ING!




MK: You forget ...
BC: RATS! I hate that #@$%! camera!
MK: Speaking of love ... I saw Bella the other day.
BC: WHAT?!?!?! My black kitty girlfriend is back?
MK: She was in the bushes across the way.
BC: She didn't come see me! I've been abandoned! I'll be ALONE for the rest of my life!
MK: Oh, Bear. Maybe if you weren't so scared of other cats, you could have a relationship.
BC: WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! As if YOU'RE the expert on relationships!
MK: I see your point.
BC: Maybe if you were more scared of boys instead of always assuming they won't hurt you, you'd fare better!
MK: That's just the way I love, Bear. I love you the same way.
BC: EXACTLY! A-NNOY-ING!
MK: Come here, Bug.
BC: No!
MK: Come snuggle with your Momma.
BC: I'm too tough to snuggle, Momma! I'm not moving! I'm guarding this door! I'm armed to my teeth ... err ... FANGS with my furry fury! Fangs, and claws, and ... and ... LOTS of furry fury! That cat tries to come in ... and she's cat toast!

MK: {opens front door}.
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! {Running under Momma's bed} BONNIE'S GOING TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MK: Mr. Tough Pants strikes again!
BC: BITE ME!
MK: I can't. You're hiding underneath the bed.
BC: I don't know what you're talking about. Bear Cat is DEFINITELY NOT under the bed.
MK: I see nothing.
BC: Exactly!

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32 comments:

  1. Bear, I doubt that Bonnie is trying to kill you. I hope your Momma is able to find her again and see if she belongs to someone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmph. Just as long as Bonnie realizes my Momma is taken! ~Bear Cat

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  2. We sure hope that lady cat has a nearby home. Still... We agree with you Bear, this is OUR home and OUR mom. Paws off !

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Bear Cat doesn't share ... especially not my Momma! I give her a hard time, but I love her a lot too. ~Bear Cat

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  3. I tried that this house is taken thing and it didn't work very well here Bear!

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  4. Your face looks so much like mine!

    My mum says I have to go on a diet too :(

    Purrs xx
    Athena

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's nice to have a lady visitor, Bear. I have a snowshoe ladycat who comes to visit me. We talk under the hedge, but there is a wire fence that keeps me in and her out.

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    Replies
    1. Snowshoes are exquisite! You are one lucky mancat, Flynn. My Momma thinks watching your exchange would be really cute ... {sigh} "cute." ~Bear Cat

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  6. Let's hope the lady kitty has a warm home with loads of food, safety and love. I'm guessing we all need that. 😇

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    Replies
    1. Every cat (and dog and human) deserves that much! ~Bear Cat

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  7. You're 14 pounds of purrfection, Bear! Hope that long-haired tortie is okay...tortitude has a way of finding you, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a thing for torties ... but they ARE exquisitely beautiful so ...
      Thank you :) ~Bear Cat

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  8. Look at those eyes when Bear doesn't get the food he wants! That is quite the look. :) My cats would give me that look too. I think that Bear is quite the handsome mancat even at 14 pounds.
    -Purrs from your friends at www.PlayfulKitty.net

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! No diet for me! Yes, I have plenty of practice giving Momma "the look." My success rate is pretty high :) ~Bear Cat

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  9. No boy is special if he is too stupid to want your Momma. You poor starving cat, that bowl is empty :) Glad you still like your chicken leg :)

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    Replies
    1. My chicken leg is my favorite! I agree about the Boy ... he's stupid. I mean, what guy of any value wouldn't stick around just for me?!?! ~Bear Cat

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  10. Oooh, I say, that young Bonnie sure does have good taste in man cats, and quite clearly you are a Totie ahem sorry I meant TORTIE magnet. purrs ERin PS It's OK to have a Momma and a feline friend too, in the same house, I mean double the treats and double the food bowls! OK so both could end up half empty but two halves do make a whole.

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    Replies
    1. But ... but ... I like having my toys and my Momma to myself!!! {GASP} I can't share my litter box with a GIRL! Not that there's anything WRONG with a girl ... I just mean ... RATS! ~Bear Cat

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  11. Oh Bear, da ladies are all over you. Ya' know havin' another kitty in da house can be fun. Me means, sure it does have it's pitfalls, like ya' gotta share everythin', but there's 2 of ya' to confuse da ommy 'bout when da last treats were handed out and did both of ya' get purrlenty to eat or did one kitty eat both plates of noms and now she's gotta refill 'em. Ya' might think it over. MOL Big hus fur you and mommy.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would be nice to have a playmate and a snugglemate .... you ladies might be right.
      HUGS to all of you :) ~Bear Cat

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  12. Bear you have beautiful eyes!!! Wow that first photo
    Hugs madi your bfff

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  13. OMC, this made me smile real big, you two. Bear Cat, we're pretty sure Bonnie is trying to kill you, but she does probably want to eat your food. ;)

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  14. Oh, the abuse....all that snuggling!!! How DO you put up with it, Bear? :)
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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  15. I'm pretty sure the other cat isn't going to kill you. �� Although she could be after your Momma.

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  16. Dear Bear,
    Thank you for "shedding" light on the proclivity of our humans to deny us the attention we deserve while worrying about neighborhood felines. In our household, things are even worse due to the fact that the female human feeds the scroungy masked woodland creatures that tap on the sliders downstairs every evening. I mean really, what's a cat to do?? I do like your idea of the shaming notes on the human's backs, and believe I might take a page from your book and give it a try.
    Your Friend Tucker<
    Beleaguered Alpha of The Tribe of Five at FelineOpines.net

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beware the sticky part of the post-it ... if you're not careful it gets stuck on your fur ... I thought I was dying! But dude, seriously? She feeds woodland creatures?!?! And not to fatten them up for you? ~Bear Cat

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