Saturday, September 10, 2016

Tough love

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Tough love:
MK: Hi, Bear.
BC: What do YOU want?
MK: I'm just seeing what you're up to.
BC: I'm busy.
MK: Okay.
BC: Bye!

{Pause}
BC: Are you still here? I said bye ... that means you leave.

MK: Well, I was thinking ...
BC: Oh, dear kitty gods! Are all humans this dense?

BC: Did The Boy break up with you again?
MK: Excuse me?
BC: I deserve hazard pay for all the post-boy nonsense.
MK: Well ...
BC: You've been pestering me all day and haven't been on the phone. You keep TOUCHING me!
MK: I thought you said you weren't getting enough attention!
BC: I only want attention when I don't have it!

MK: You're just laying on the bed doing nothing!
BC: EXCUSE ME? What do you know about being a cat?
MK: That it requires psychosis and neurosis. 
BC: Shows what YOU know! I've never met Psychosis OR Neurosis! 
MK: Bear ...
BC: Are they related to Gary and Larry?
MK: The aliens?
BC: Do you know any other Gary and Larry?
MK: Technically, I don't know THAT Gary and Larry. You just made them up to have some-alien to shuck the blame on. 
BC: What do you know about shucking blame?
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
MK: Exactly. Are you going to admit that it was you attacking me this morning?
BC: Err ...
MK: Because it sure LOOKED like you. I'm pretty sure those were YOUR fangs I had to jump on the bathroom vanity to avoid.
BC: It's called TOUGH LOVE.
MK: What?
BC: I love you ... and I'm tough.
MK: That's not what tough love means.
BC: What do you know about tough love?
MK: Ummm ... when I brush your teeth or wash your chin even though you HATE both things. So much so that you hide back in your cat tree corner so I can't reach you.

BC: No, brushing my teeth and washing my chin are CRUELTIES.
MK: Merriam-Webster's definition of tough love ... "Love or affectionate concern expressed in a stern or unsentimental manner (as through discipline) especially to promote responsible behavior." If I didn't brush your teeth, you'd have lost even more teeth than you already have. If I didn't use the acne pads on your chin, your breakouts would be worse and more painful.
BC: Oh, La de da! This Miriam Webster woman knows everything?
{Pause}
BC: By the way, I'm composing a new set of rules of engagement for Boys. Because I wear the stripey pants around here!
MK: What?
BC: Rule number one ... pee in his shoes first, ask questions later.
MK: What?
BC: That way, if he hurts your feelings later, I've got a preemptive strike in there. Actually, it should be pee in one shoe and barf in the other shoe first, ask questions later.
MK: Preemptive strikes?
BC: Yep. Then after he leaves we can laugh about the pee in one shoe and barf in the other and it will make you feel better to know he didn't get off scot-free! I hit him where it hurts in the beginning.
MK: That's sweet of you ... err ... in a way, I mean.
BC: Rule number two ... claws and whacky-paws from the beginning. I'm a sucker for a good back scratch and it interferes with my ability to judge the situation objectively. I'm too easy. One little back scratch and I'm putty in just any guy's paws. Though you're not much better.
MK: BEAR!
BC: We need to work on your judgment where guys are concerned.
MK: Bear, it doesn't have anything to do with them. I'm the problem. The Big Dodo, The Boy ... the only thing across all situations is me.
BC: There's a reason Kitty and I named the Big Dodo the Big Dodo. He's a DODO! I mean, he was just fine with never seeing me again. Talk about an idiot! Not to mention he was mean.
MK: No. He just wasn't easily manipulated.
BC: Exactly. Mean.
MK: I'm just a sucker.
BC: EXACTLY! That's why you should stay away from boys! When have you ever broken up with one that you really wanted no matter his inherent jerkiness?
MK: Well ...
BC: Exactly. And jerks are going to do stupid things and be jerks!
MK: When you put it that way ...
BC: I'll finish the rules of engagement later. It's past my nap time.
BC: {opening his eyes slightly} Are you still here? 
MK: Ooookay. I'll go do ... umm ... err ... something.

Thank you to ...
  • All our friends for your support, words of encouragement and love, and for being our friends in the first place. So many of you reached out or offered a listening ear and each one meant the world to Momma.
  • Sometimes, Cats Herd You for the term "wear the stripey-pants," 
  • 15 and Meowing for the inspiration to come up with Bear's rule of engagement, "pee in his shoes first, ask questions later," and 
  • Dezi'z World for offering their whacky-paw and claw services, which inspired Bear's second rule of engagement.

Pictures of the Day:







Featured posts of the day:

20 comments:

  1. I love all these pictures! Bear Cat, you're beautiful! You're also very funny. :)

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  2. We need to set up some Rules here!

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. I highly recommend it ... especially with these loose-y goose-y humans! If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything. Or something like that! ~Bear Cat

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  3. Great pictures of you rolling around and posing, Bear. Oh, and we like your first steps on your rules of engagement. Tell Momma Kat to hang in there, okay? We all love both of you lots!

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    1. Thank you. You made her smile ... that's quite the accomplishment! Thank you for that too! ~Bear Cat

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  4. Oooh, so you get a Mirriam Webster? I have a short Colin, or Colin's Concise as he likes to call himself. Anyways, your peep isn't to blame, and rest assured the world and Miss Fortune (sister of Miss Description) don't collude to upset just one peep any more than the rain does. Which reminds me, I do have to write to the Weather Office about about the Palaces lack of summer. purrs ERin PS Hitting a peep where it hurts, would that be around the belly, the nose, or toes?

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    1. I've heard that male peeps have extra sensitive areas ... but I'm short of boys to practice on to determine where exactly those spots would be. Lack of summer?!?! Let me tell you how much winter sucks around here! My Momma wears sweatshirts and long pants so my fangs and claws are much muted in effect. ~Bear Cat

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  5. Sounds like a good start to the rules of engagement, Bear!

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  6. Oh Bear you are so gawjus as always. Mommy's not had a man boy in her life da entire time me's been alive, but sis Lexi said it was fur sure no fun. Sis Lexi said boys tried to take everythin' from mommy and tried to order her 'round and didn't want her to be on da table or in da pawdee box room and...well sissy said mommy put her paws down da minute they started tryin' to boss sissy 'round and dat was it. Now, you tell your mommy dat we not onl;y think she's bootyful, but dat it's a fact. Check 'round, you'll find dat we always tell da truth. Also tell your mommy dat no man's worth sobbin' over cuz she already has purrfection...YOU. :) Have a pawsum weekend.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. Oh, NOW I've seen it all! My Momma's crying HAPPY tears because of how sweet you girls are. Sad tears ... happy tears ... it's just a whole lot of wet! But my Momma DID smile ... so thank you for that! ~Bear Cat

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  7. "Pee in the shoes first; ask questions later." Sounds pretty much PURRfect, to me. MOUSES!

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    1. Hehehehehe. I knew you'd think so, Seville :) ~Bear Cat

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  8. Replies
    1. Unintended consequences ... only the good ones will stick around and still claim to love me :) ~Bear Cat

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  9. Anyone not easily manipulated by a cat is not worth having around- right Bear? :)

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    1. OBVIOUSLY! Though my Momma's pretty tough when it comes to her restrictions on tasty whole chickens! ~Bear Cat

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  10. Love the barf in one shoe and pee in the other! I think you need to listen to Bear :)
    catchatwithcarenandcody

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    1. I AMMMM pretty smart ... and handsome of course ;) ~Bear Cat

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