Monday, October 17, 2016

Bigger Band-aids

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Bigger Band-aids:
BC: {walking into the bedroom} You didn't tell me you were laying down for a nap!
MK: {sniff, sniff}.
BC: {jumping on the bed} Hi, Momma.

MK: {chokes out} H ... hi ...
BC: What's wrong, Momma? Why are you crying?
MK: It hurts ... I just can't ... I'm ... so stupid ...
BC: You hurt yourself again by doing something stupid? What was it this time? Did you try to climb on top of the refrigerator again? You KNOW you can't fit under my cat tree ... oh, hell. You tried again, didn't you?
MK: No ... I ...
BC: Wait a minute. I'll be right back!
{Pause}
BC: Okay. I think I have JUST the thing you need!
MK: {sniffles}.
BC: VOILA! Band-aids! I'll fix whatever hurts, okay?

MK: {starts crying harder} Be ....
BC: It's okay, Momma. I'll put you back together. Show me what hurts.
MK: {crying} My ... my ... heart ...
BC: Whoa! That's a record for even you! How do you hurt your heart when it's inside your body?
MK: No ... I ... I ...
BC: RATS! I'm going to need bigger Band-aids!
MK: {sobbing} Bbbbbb ... Bbbbbbb ...
BC: Do we have bigger Band-aids? I don't remember seeing any when I knocked everything from that shelf into the toilet. Hmmm ... we'll have to be creative!
BC: Do you have crazy glue?
MK:{sobbing} I ...
BC: Hahahaha. I made a funny! Get it, Momma? You're crazy and you need crazy ...
{Pause}
BC: Awww, HEEEEELLLL! I was kidding, Momma!
{Pause}
BC: HOLY CAT! This is going to require A LOT of  Band-aids! You can't even stop crying! 
MK: {sobbing} One minute ... then the ... I don't know what ... don't ... unnn ... under ... stand.
BC: We need Kleenex in here, STAT!
{Pause}
BC: RATS! It's times like these that I need an assistant. An assistant I don't have to share with, I mean!
MK: {sobbing} He ....
BC: Oh. NOW I get it.
MK: {sobbing} And ...
BC: {narrowing his eyes} No one hurts MY MOMMA! You don't deserve to be hurt, Momma!
MK: {sobbing} I ...
BC: You're a good Momma! I mean, sometimes my food bowl is empty ... and you DO brush my teeth everyday ... but it's not like you're a BAD Momma.
MK: {sobbing} He ...
BC: THAT'S IT! No one hurts my Momma! NO! My Momma never cries ... she never sobs ... and some ... some ... VERY BAD PERSON hurt you like you don't deserve!
MK: {sobbing} I  ... don't... don't ... understand, Bear. I don't ...  know what I did ... wrong. One min .... then ... SO confused!
BC: MOMMA!
MK: {sobbing} Not ... good ... eee .... nough. Un ... lo ... vable ...
BC: Well, that's not right! You can't be unlovable because I LOVE YOU!
MK: {sobbing harder}.
BC: Uh oh. I'll be right back!
{Pause}
BC: TADA!
BC: MY FAVORITE TOYS!!! Well, except for the crocheted chicken leg. If you were dying ... I MIGHT share it with you ... but since you're not ACTUALLY dying ... no chicken leg for you.
BC: See! You've got my favorite sparkle ball ... my favorite kick stick ... and pinkie, my favorite mousie! They always make me feel better! Do you want to see how to use the kick stick? Here ... you wrap your arms around it ... and take you legs ... and ...
BC: Did you get that? The kick stick is good when you get mad.
BC: Hmmm ... maybe now's not the right time for mad ...
MK: {sobbing} I don't know what happened ...
{Pause}
MK: {sobbing} Something ... wrong with me ... to mean so little ... tossed away like nothing ... meant nothing ...
BC: You don't deserve to be hurt, Momma. 
MK: {sobbing} Li ... like ... noo ... nothing ...
BC: MOMMA! Listen to me, okay? Are you listening?
MK: Yyy ... yes.
BC: You love so completely ... yeah, I mean, it's annoying for a cat sometimes, but ... I mean, anyone who really takes the time to know you loves you. You're not perfect, but anyone who leaves you doesn't appreciate you. You're one-of-a-kind, Momma.
MK: {sobbing}.
BC: Uh oh. Desperate measures! Desperate measures! 911? Err ... I'm going to regret this, but ... HUG ME!!!

BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Too tight! A little too tight! You might ... want to let me ... breathe ...
{Pause}
BC: Oooh! That was close. Seven of my lives flashed before my eyes. And a sexy tortie ... err ... hmm ...
{Pause}
BC: PORCUPINES!
MK: {sniff, sniff} I meant ... nooo ... noth ... ing. THROWN ... A ... AWAY!
BC: RIGHT! Back to the matter at hand ... err ... PAW.
{Pause}
BC: I love you, Momma. You don't deserve to be hurt. You don't deserve to be treated like you're worthless. Sometimes, people are stupid. I mean I have to put up with your stupid every ... uh oh. RATS!
MK: {sobbing} I ... I ... love you ... t ... too.
BC: I need some Momma cuddles.
MK: {sobbing} But ... but ...
BC: You aren't alone, Momma.
MK: {sobbing}.
BC: I'm going to send him a bill for my services! This is RIDICULOUS! You've NEVER been this hurt and upset for this long! I deserve hazard pay! And overtime! 
{Pause}
BC: And next time, I'm puking in a guy's shoes FIRST and asking questions later!
MK: {sobbing} My .... my ... fault.
BC: No. No one deserves this, Momma. All you did was love him and stick by him. Time to find a boy that treats you as the lovable, keep-able person that you are! Treats you so that you never question your worth! So that there's no doubt in your mind that you're loved and lovable!
MK: Tha ... thank ... you ... Be ...
BC: But don't go around getting a big fat ego head! Just because I keep you doesn't mean there's not room for improvement! Maybe another wet food treat every day?
MK: Bee ... Bbbbbear ... don't ... push ...
BC: RATS! Can't blame a cat for trying!
MK: Snuggles?
BC: I love you, Momma.
MK: I love you too, Bug.
BC: All this fixing exhausts me! Nap time!
MK: I can't ... my mind is racing ... but I'll snuggle with you ...
BC: {narrowing his eyes} You better not wake me up because you can't resist how adorable I am when I sleep!
MK: I promise.
BC: Hmph. You think you know pain, now? An OUNCE of furry fury and you'll need A LOT more Band-aids!

{Note on the hug picture ... how did Momma manage to catch herself crying on camera? Bear jumped in her lap to snuggle and she set the timer to get a snuggle shot ... but by the time the timer went off ... well, she was crying. While the poor guy didn't know what he was jumping into, no cats were harmed in the taking of the picture!}

Featured posts of the day:
If you missed the saga leading up to, and including, Momma's declaration of a blogging break ...

33 comments:

  1. That is such a great story and BC you sure tried to cheer up MK. You did an excellent job. Glad you all are blogging again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! It's a hard job, but my Momma needs me. ~Bear Cat

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  2. Maybe you need Hello Kitty Bandaids..

    I hope MK listens to BC.. he's one smart kitty.
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/9f/96/e8/9f96e84cd3d845e2df30cecbb43901e8.jpg

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  3. Bear, you've made our eyes leak...you're just so darned sweet trying to help Momma with Bandaids and your favorite toys! She couldn't be in better paws than yours!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. {sigh} It's a hard job ... but I'm a cat after all! ~Bear Cat

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  4. Taking care of the Momma is a mighty important task!

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  5. Number one peep is Momma, and number one Bear is... um... Bear! Keep taking those cuddle tablets and ignore anyone that says anything bad, as that is all they are.... purrs ERin ps. Bear puking in the shoes is maybe to gentle, I'd go all out and drop a dead rat too. Better still a live rat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm ... that gives me ideas ... a half-live rat? A few litter box deposits? I need a plan ... ~Bear Cat

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  6. You take such good care of your mom, Bear ! It's very kind of you to provide bandaids and offer her your favorite toys ! Purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. {sigh} It's a hard job ... but I'm a cat after all! ~Bear Cat

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  7. Well Bear, as always you're lookin' handsum as ever. And you're such a great nursey fur your mommy. Now while we don't know how long this relationship with da boy jerk actually was, there ain't no human on this planet or any other dat be worth dat many tears. Now mommy cat lissen up, k? Purrint out a foto of boy jerks face and pin in to a pillow. Next get Bear to show you dat kicker move again and then do it to da pillow with boy jerks foto. It's fur sure time to get mad. Nopawdy gets to determine your worth or luvvableness. Let me tell ya', human peeps dopn't really luv our mommy, but we can tell ya' she's da mostest luvvable mommy in da universe. And she has us, so she don't need those unluvvin' peeps any more than you do. Bear will have your back, front, top, bottom or whatever you need. And trust us, there's no greater luv than dat of your furry purrer. After all, we're choosier than any human on da planet. Ifin we hoose to luv somepawdy, then dat should tell ya', you've got a great heart full of pawtential. And mommy says ifin ya' want to talk to her, she's here fur ya'. We're sendin' big hugs fur both of ya' and lots of purrayers.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You ladies are so smart! Thank you - your comment made my day - all of it. And you are absolutely right.

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  8. Bear, you are very wise!

    The Florida Furkids

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'll forward that on to my Momma! ;) ~Bear Cat

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  9. Bear's hugs and company are the best bandaid of all - all the cats at hairballsandhissyfits are sending you positive vibes~

    ReplyDelete
  10. It hurts our hearts that MK continues to have boy problems. You were so nice to bring her your toys, Bear and to let her hug and snuggle you. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. {sigh} It's a hard job ... but I'm a cat after all! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  11. Maybe when someone tells you that he knows you would not like him after you get to know him, it would be advisable to believe him. But nope, you don't believe you are good enough for someone that knows he is attractive, someone that knows he is good enough for you. So you go for the most unattractive, unwantable man since quasimodo that told you again and again that you would not stay with him. Then he attempts all he can think of to make you aware that he is not the one for you, over months, and yet you still won't quit. So then he ends up having to do it for you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Listen to BC, he obviously knows of what is true and real. And hang in there. NO ONE is worth the kind of misery you're going through. Especially from a boy. Hang in there. Get some sunshine every day (trust me it helps) and hug the cat. Much better for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I AM pretty smart! And handsome of course! Boys are pretty stupid ... well ... except for me ... ~Bear Cat
      ps - thank you for backing me up on the rest - no stupid boy is worth this!

      Delete
  13. Bear, you are the best bandaid for your momma. You're right...sometimes people ARE stupid!

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    Replies
    1. I am the best bandaid ... err ... until I cause the need for them ;) ~Bear Cat

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  14. I think your mom needs a chill pill. They're better then a bandaid. Mr. Trump is NOT the man for her. He's an unfaithful cad.

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    Replies
    1. What does a chill pill look like? She eats a lot of doughnuts ... does that count? ~Bear Cat

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  15. Your Momma is very loveable. I wish you would have peed in that boy's shoe while you had the chance. You are very sweet to offer her your sparkly ball and I am glad you value your chicken leg so much :)

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    Replies
    1. I agree that my Momma is special. My job is never done around here. Yes, next time I will have a whole plan of attack for whatever male walks through the front door! ~Bear Cat

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  16. You keep trying and don't give up Bear! I think you are much better than a bandaid at making things all better.

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    Replies
    1. That's what my Momma says. She says as great as I am at destroying things, I make everything better :) ~Bear Cat

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  17. Bear, you're being a great caring cat to your momma. I hope one day very soon she will understand how much other people love her, regardless of one dumb boy. But even so, her self worth isn't measured by others. Chin up, Momma Kat!

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    Replies
    1. This is what I've been trying to tell her!!! She teared up when she read your comment ... that's a good thing ... thank you :) ~Bear Cat

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