Tuesday, April 4, 2017

The chicken

MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat

Daily conversation - The chicken:
MK: Holy cat crap on a cracker! That chicken is JUST LIKE Bear!
The Boy: Hahahahaha. You're right!
MK: The chicken looked up at the people strapped to the rocket, and with an evil look in his eyes, meanwhile keeping eye contact with the humans, pecked the button that launched the rocket the humans were on! Bear would TOTALLY do that! JUST to prove he can!

The Boy: Ha ...
BC: Did someone say "Bear" and "chicken" in the same sentence?!?! HIIIIII!

MK: We were just talking about Pollito, the pet chicken of the bad guy in the movie, "Despicable Me Two."

BC: You two ARE despicable! I want my chickens!
MK: We aren't talking about chickens for you. The chicken in the movie pretends to be normal and then goes nuts with no provocation.
BC: Oh, there's provocation all right. No tasty whole chickens IS provocation!
MK: And then the chicken pushed the button to launch the rocket so the humans flew away toward the volcano.
BC: I'd totally shoot you two into a volcano!
MK: EXACTLY!
BC: Then I wouldn't have to deal with either of you.
MK: The best part is the first time we meet the chicken, when he looks all innocent and then viciously attacks the humans. They underestimate the  chicken because he looks so sweet and innocent.
The Boy: I've been the victim of that one more than a few times thanks to Bear.
BC: You're welcome ...

The Boy: My favorite part was when one of the human goes to pet the chicken and says "He likes me!" only to be attacked by the psycho chicken.
MK: How many times have you asked what's wrong with this cat?
The Boy: Hahaha. PSYCHO!
BC: Huh. A tasty whole psycho chicken? Beggars can't be choosers.
The Boy: How many times have I said, "I think he likes me," only to be clawed within an inch of my life?
MK: Bear has a hundred personalities ... 99.9% of which are trouble.
BC: HEY!
The Boy: He has that innocent look down. And then ... BOOM! The claws and fangs come out.
BC: I'm right here!
The Boy: The chicken is Bear in chicken form.
BC: Did someone say CHICKEN? CHICKEN! I want chicken! I want LOTS of chicken! Where's my chicken? Chicken, chicken, CHICKEN, CHICKEN!!!

The Boy: He's Bear Chicken. Hahahaha.
MK: BearChick? Berchick? Chickar? Chickbear? Chickear?
BC: Someone said CHICKEN!!!!
MK: Bear chicka boom chicka boom. Meow meow.
The Boy: Hahahahahahahaha.
BC: Oh, haha. Laugh it up at MY expense! You better hope I never have my paw on the button to send you two to a volcano!
The Boy: Have you noticed that when I sit on the end of the couch, Bear paws the side?


MK: Yeah, that's his version of "f*** you!" Like when he sees me going to the bathroom and tears up carpet just outside of my reach.
The Boy: He acts like such a tough boy.
MK: And yet, he falls out of the window when a bird lands on the outside window sill. He's terrified of birds and squirrels ... and ...
BC: Does it make you feel better to pick on a sweet, innocent kitty cat?

The Boy: He just proved our point! He acts all sweet and innocent until he opens his can of crazy on unsuspecting ...
BC: IDIOTS!
The Boy: That boy is scared of his own shadow! And everything else too! He's a scaredy cat!
BC: I'm RIGHT HERE!!!
MK: He does have a ridiculous startle response. He jumps into next week. I can't tell you how many times his startle response has gotten him in trouble. The plastic bag is a good example. He had his head through the handle and was startled by some noise in the kitchen and pulled back suddenly. Then he took off and got the bag handle stuck around his body. All because he couldn't keep his nose out of my groceries.
BC: I don't have to sit here and listen to you two making fun of me!
MK: Then there was the jar of peanut butter that he somehow got his BACK leg stuck in. He FLIPPED out when his back leg sunk in the jar so that he couldn't get it off.
The Boy: And yet, he acts like he's super tough ... especially around you.
MK: How many times does he swipe at me when I walk past? Or attack me out of no where? 



{Pause}
MK: Most annoying? When I'm standing in the middle of the room thinking about what to do next ... or when I'm standing at the bathroom counter, and he comes up behind me and bites the back of my calf ... then streaks off to hide in his cat tree corner.
BC: HEY! That's my favorite game, "I'm the shark!" I'M THE SHARK! What's the point of having fangs if you don't use them?

The Boy: And yet he gets so mad when you're reminded to clip his claws by him clawing you. All because he can't keep his claws to himself!
BC: But I'm cute!
The Boy: He's right, you know. He's cute ... 
BC: Now you're talking some sense ...
The Boy: ... when he's asleep!

BC: HEY!
The Boy: Though sometimes when he's plopped in the middle of the floor, he doesn't look so much cute, as he looks like a fat, furry gelatinous blob.

BC: HEY! I'm not FAT! I'm FLUFFY!!!! And have you looked at Momma's butt lately? Yeah. She's been eating well since you moved in! I thought the doughnut butt was bad! There's hardly any room left for me when she tries to share my desk chair with me!

The Boy: Like you have any room to talk!
BC: HEY! The vet said I was clearly missing meals!
MK: Ummm ... not exactly. He said you clearly WEREN'T missing any meals!
BC: SEMANTICS! Who cares? I'm starving! And starvatating.
MK: He's ridiculous about food, isn't he?
The Boy: Bear's big belly!
BC: Did someone say FOOOOOOOD?

MK: Every time I get out the bag of dry food, he's on my heels - even though he ALWAYS has kibble!
The Boy: Hahahaha. And yet he complains that kibble isn't "real food," when he wants his wet food treat.
BC: HEY!
The Boy: Not to mention how he always begs you for your food and you never give him any. He'll follow you around the house if you have a plate of food. And yet, you never give him ANY.
BC: CRUELTY! Now everyone knows what I have to put up with!
The Boy: Bear, most people would stop following and begging for food if they never got anything out of it. She never gives you any, and yet you still insist on begging ... without any encouragement.
BC: Phht. I'm a cat. I don't require encouragement.
The Boy: Or sense.
BC: I HATE YOU!

MK: How about how he bats his food from him bowl onto his mat ... but when his food bowl is in the dishwasher, he refuses to eat the food off his mat.
The Boy: And if you run the dishwasher at night, he'll wake you up RIGHT after the dishwasher finishes its cycle JUST to get his food bowl back - even though he has plenty of food on his mat - and the second his food is back in its bowl, he'll bat it back on the mat before he'll eat it.
MK: He's not exactly smart.
The Boy: And crazy. He makes no sense.
BC: Why don't you pick on someone with the same intellectual capacity as you two! I make no sense to you because you have no sense!

MK: When I get out the treats, he ignores the ones I put on his plate and instead runs back and forth between his food bowl and the pantry until I get the treats back in the pantry.
The Boy: And if you don't pick him up and carry him back to sniff the treats for himself, he'll follow you around for hours because he's too stupid to realize the treats are already in his bowl!
BC: What is wrong with you people?!?! I'm just a cute little kitty cat and you two are being mean to me!
MK: Awww. Come here and snuggle with your Momma.
BC: Hmph. Never!
The Boy: Your loss. I guess I get to snuggle with her.
BC: HEY! No no no no no no no! You can't snuggle with MY Momma! She's MINE! Mine mine mine mine mine mine MINE! Get out of my way!
The Boy: CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK.
BC: I HATE YOU! And I REALLY think you should keep BOTH eyes open when you sleep.
The Boy: Once again proving our ...
BC: Are you STILL here?!?!

To see the part of the movie where we first meet the {psycho} chicken ... That Pollo is Loco.
To see the part of the movie where the {psycho} chicken mischievously launches the rocket with the humans strapped to it ... Gru saves Lucy's life.

Featured posts of the day:

46 comments:

  1. Aww, Bear, you are so misunderstood, and your peep and the other are picking on you. And to think they associated you with a chicken! Put a complaint into the Despicable Me production team and have that Chicken fried.... er.... sorry meant have it fired for defaming you in cellulite... oops sorry, I meant celluloid. Mouses!
    Purrs, Erin

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    1. Fried chicken? TOTALLY better than fired chicken! Well, actually, either are cooked ... so maybe it's six of one, half dozen of another. Either way, I'm totally game (pun not intended ... though left in because I'm game for game). ~Bear Cat

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  2. Wait, there's a button that sends the silly humans of the world into a volcano? Where is it, Bear? Do you know where we can find this fantastic solution to all of our problems? Blast off!!!

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    1. Maybe it's only for chickens? Either way, I'm working on it ... and I'll be sure to share it with you! ~Bear Cat

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  3. Bear..............I wish I could find a button that I could automatically pushed making mom feed me every 10 minutes..
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    1. Now THAT is brilliant! Maybe delivering a little shock to the Mom if she doesn't comply within a few minutes? PURR-FECT! ~Bear Cat

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  4. dood....seer ee iz lee, de fact yur peepulz called ewe CHKN BURD.....
    thatz fitin werdz !!!! ☺☺♥♥

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  5. My goodness Bear, that chicken is weird. Good think you didn't ask for beef!

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    1. Does that mean I'M weird? Because they think I'm like the chicken ... I don't know how I feel about this. ~Bear Cat

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  6. Oh Bear, they need to quit picking on you. You are acting like any other cat in the world. All cat know what they want and know how to ask for it. That chicken is just a little weird. You all have a great day. Great pictures of you.

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    1. They DO need to quit picking on me! Whether I deserve it or not is irrelevant! ~Bear Cat

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  7. The more the Boy makes fun of you , Bear, the more you should continue to encourage him to sleep with his eyes open! Now you must plot your revenge . . . ;p

    the critters in the cottage xo

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  8. I wish I could see Bear in a movie. That would be awesome. But I guess I'll settle for the chicken for now. :-)

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  9. Bear, they're ganging up on you! No fair!! You deserve to GET a chicken, not BE a chicken!
    -The crew at Wag 'n Woof Pets

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    1. You're RIGHT! I'm not a chicken! I EAT chickens! ~Bear Cat

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  10. That conversation right in front of you was just plain mean, Bear! You definitely need to find some creative ways to get even with both of them! --Your favorite tortie

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  11. They TAUNT you and TEASE you with all the chicken talk. And then they insult you - FAT?! Ha. Of course you have to be stern with your hoomins and put them in their place.

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  12. oh my god Bear--that photo of you sleeping with your belly exposed is killing me!! Can I come pet it pls!

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    1. Anytime! My Momma coos over Amarula's belly too ;) ~Bear Cat

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  13. I hope my cats don't listen to your words of wisdom about using fangs :)

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    1. Believe me ... the humans won't be able to forget it ;) ~Bear Cat

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  14. Oh Bear, our gentle nature has just been ruffled. Da boy called you STUPID!!! Are you gonna let him get away with dat? And now he's even got your luvvin' mommy makin' fun of ya'/ And right there to your furry face. We've got some hisses and whacky paws fur him. We fur sure don't like da boy. Who does he think he is anyways? He moved into Your house, started sleepin' in Your bed, and sittin' on Your couch, takin' up your purrime squirrel watchin' window real estate in Your space, and he has da nerve to make fun of ya' and call You Stupid!!! Seems to us he be a lazy bum who ain't got nuffin' of his own and has to steal from a poor little defenseless kitty boy. Hisssssssssssssssss Dat's what we think. MOL big hugs, you fur sure need 'em. MOL

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Boys ARE trouble. I know because I am one! It's not so bad having another pair of hands around here to pet me. He doesn't blab as much as my Momma, so that's nice. And he slips me bits of his food. I'm not going to say I LOVE him, but he definitely has his pluses ... and he makes my Momma happy so there's that too! ~Bear Cat

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  15. Boy, and old Bear, you are two tough cookies, too. But a psycho chicken??? How about just the old roasted kind...with crispy skin and ....drool drool.

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  16. Hi Bear, so good to visit you! I'm sorry you were getting picked on again. Why do our humans always taunt us with the "chicken" word but 9 out of 10 times they don't deliver! I think you are wise to be skeptical of your environment - things can be shifty at times in this crazy world we live in that is inhabited mostly by humans. You are a good kitty! Head rubs...

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    1. Friends are the best! Especially when they take MY side! ;) ~Bear Cat

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  17. Awesome post! Thanks for sharing :)
    Henry

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  18. We seriously hope you got some chicken after all of that chicken talk. If not, that is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!! Jerk humans and their teasing...

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  19. If you don't get your chicken we say hack up a big hairball in their shoes!

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    1. That's eerie! That's EXACTLY what I do in Friday's post! ~Bear Cat

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  20. Bear, we are always on your side. We totally agree that you look cute when you're sleeping, but you're cute when you're awake too. After all that, we really, really hope you get some chicken!

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  21. You look so cute when you're sleeping ! We hope you get some chicken to taste, your post made us hungry MOL !

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    1. You'd think my cuteness factor would assure me tasty whole chickens! ~Bear Cat

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  22. Hey guys! Just saw your comment on our post about Sophie's play-date with Yeezy. I WILL be at BlogPaws this year! And I'll have Sophie and Kylo Ren with me. We will look forward to meeting you :)

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  23. Well OF COURSE peeps underestimate us cats due to our sweetie-pie adorable cuteness. That's kind of the whole deal, no? MOUSES!

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