Friday, September 23, 2016

The custody "arrangement"

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat


Daily conversation - The custody "arrangement:"
MK: {talking to herself} I can't forget to ... oh, and ... WAIT A ...
{Pause}
MK: BEAR! 
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: Oh? You didn't put post-it notes on the chairs?

BC: Oh. THAT.
MK: What the ... ?
BC: That's our custody arrangement for the desk chair.
MK: What "arrangement?" The desk chair is just labeled as yours!
BC: Well, yes. I have custody of the desk chair and you get the other chair. Don't say I don't give you anything. At least you have a place to sit.
MK: Yeah, thanks. 
BC: You're welcome. If I ever figure out how to lay across both chairs at the same time, you'll really be in trouble.
MK: Bear, this is ridiculous.
BC: Don't make me enforce the arrangement.
MK: How?
BC: Furry fury. I have claws and fangs.
MK: This isn't an ARRANGEMENT. You just slapped post-it notes on two chairs! And ARRANGEMENT implies some sort of agreement.
BC: {flexing his claws} Do you not agree with my authority?
MK: Err .... I didn't say that. It just would be nice to use my desk chair sometimes.
BC: Ummm ... if you look at the desk chair, MY name is on it. That means it's mine.
MK: Bear, you can slap a post-it note on whatever you want but it doesn't make it yours.
BC: So what are you saying? You want to use the desk chair?
MK: Yes. Sometimes that would be nice.
BC: Okay. Give me a moment ...
{Ten minutes pass}
BC: Okay. Here Momma. See? You get use of the desk chair!


MK: Bear, this is ridiculous!
BC: You're saying that a lot today!
MK: Bear.
BC: What?
MK: The times you listed that I can use the chair are either the times I'm in bed or the time when you eat your wet food treat.
BC: I eat my wet food treat from 7 PM to 7:06 PM.
MK: {sigh}.
BC: The other four minutes are for me to use the litter box and pre-groom.
MK: Pre-groom?
BC: The grooming required before I jump in the chair for the REAL grooming.

Pre-groom:
REAL groom:

MK: I'm sorry I asked. So the only times I'm allowed to use the chair are either when you know I won't want to use it or when you know for sure you won't want to use it?
BC: No, that's just a coincidence.
MK: I'm sure. You can share the chair, Bear.
BC: Not this sharing selfishness again.
MK: Deal with it.
BC: Fine. But there are conditions. 
MK: Excuse me?
BC: Give me a minute.
{Ten minutes pass}
BC: Alright. There you go.
MK: BEAR! There's NO WAY that will work! I can't even get half my butt on that small part!
BC: Is it my fault your butt is that big? I told you to watch the doughnuts! 
MK: You get almost the entire chair and you're smaller than me!
BC: Because I don't eat doughnuts. 
MK: BEAR! I need more room!
BC: Eat fewer doughnuts!
{Momma stares at Bear}
BC: Okay, okay. Give me a minute.
{Ten minutes pass}

BC: I need a scissors ...


BC: Voila!

MK: Oh, for crying out loud, Bear!
BC: That's my final offer.
MK: IT'S MY CHAIR! I put it together!
BC: But I claimed it first!
MK: Yeah. Because I went to throw the box in the trash! I came back and you were in MY chair!
BC: Oh. THIS argument again. You snooze you lose. I think the pictures make ownership of the chair obvious.
MK: FINE! Keep the chair. I hope you're happy!
BC: I am!
MK: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
BC: Someone's in a bad mood today!
{Momma stares at Bear}
BC: I can be grumpy too!
BC: Hmph.
BC: It's been a long day!
MK: It's only 9 AM!
BC: Fighting for what is mine is a hard job. I'm taking a nap. I don't want to be interrupted.
MK: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
BC: Anger management, Momma. Anger management.
MK: You're grounded!
BC: That may be. But I'm grounded IN THE DESK CHAIR. Hehehehehe. Now SHHHHHHH. I require my beauty rest.

Pictures of the day:
Some of our greatest hits regarding the desk chair:

Featured posts of the day:

27 comments:

  1. if it is yours then it is yours always!

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  2. Bear, you're too funny! But I guess you DID claim it first. And what's fair is fair.

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  3. Pssst..... Pssst! If you hold out long enough your peep will buy another luxury swivel chair, and that way you get to have two to use. Twice the fun half the effort PLUS the new chair is bound to come in a rather natty box. purrs ERin PS If your peep is still not content with the custard arrangement, maybe through in use of the back, could be the deal breaker?

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    Replies
    1. Genius! She gets the BACK of the chair. Or maybe an arm? Thank goodness I don't have a Kraken that I have to share with ... ~Bear Cat

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  4. Post-it notes ! What a smart idea ! That custard arrangement sounds fair. Purrs

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  5. Ah, yeah, the custody chair game. We play that often. In fact, our Mom is barely hanging on to the edge of the computer chair even now as our portly sister Zuzu is hogging the back! Good times.

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  6. MOL Oh Bear, you're sooooo funny. Mommy only gets da front pawrt of a chair ifin we wanna lay in it too. Dat is unless she's willin' to purrvide a full lap. We'll gladly relinquish da chair fur a full lap. Good luck with ya'll's custody arrangement. Be sure and watch out, your mommy might take to sleepin' in da desk chair and then pull dat pawsession is 9/10ths da law. Big hugs fur you both.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. Momma always gives me her lap ... but sometimes a cat just wants peace and quiet and a spot where no one moves. She better not start sleeping in the chair! All my plans would be ruined! ~Bear Cat

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  7. You gave her a chair, you gave her part of the desk chair...I think Momma is just ungrateful, Bear! --Mudpie

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    Replies
    1. OBVIOUSLY! See what I have to put up with?!?!?! ~Bear Cat
      ps - If you came over, Mudpie, I'd share halfsies with you :)

      Delete
  8. I think you were more than generous with your Momma, you are giving her the chair for 8 hours and 10 minutes a day plus you gve her a generous portion to use the rest of the time- there is no pleasing some people.

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    Replies
    1. No kidding! My Momma clearly doesn't appreciate me. ~Bear Cat

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  9. That seems like a pretty generous custody arrangement to us, Bear. You gave her lots of hours with it. Is it your fault that she isn't going to take advantage of them?

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  10. We don't need post it notes. We outnumber Jan so if she chases off one of us, another just appropriates the chair.

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    Replies
    1. Usually I boast about being an only child ... but there are drawbacks like the one you mentioned ... and that I have no one else to diffuse the blame :p ~Bear Cat

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  11. There doesn't seem to be any reasoning with you, Bear, so we're not sure why Momma even tries? MOL! Next time Momma gets something new like a chair, she should not bring the box outside. If she leaves the box inside, you might be distracted by that! The only flaw with that plan is that we humans don't tend to like boxes as permanent house decor. :)
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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    Replies
    1. I don't "do" boxes. Yes, yes, my Momma always reminds me that it's very un-cat-like and she's convinced I'm missing some essential experience of cathood. But no thank you!!! I know boxes just want to eat me! ~Bear Cat

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  12. Dear Bear,
    Your post-it idea is brilliant (sadly, we often need to remind our humans who's in charge) but I feel I need to point out that the feline legal code states
    that EVERY chair belongs to the felines in the house and the humans will be seated wherever the felines allow.-Your Friend Alberto at www.FelineOpines.com

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    Replies
    1. You are right, Alberto. However, my Momma can't get it through her thick skull. {sigh} The things I have to put up with :) ~Bear Cat

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  13. I think it's very important to have these arrangements made so everyone is on the same page! For example, we all know which chair is Bruisy's chair and there are two. There are zero arrangements made actually - in fact, there wasnt even a negotiation so at least a chair "sharing" program has been established in your household!

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  14. Oh dear kitty, no. Just no! The Mama MUST have a chair she can call her own. :-)

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