Friday, December 23, 2016

Bear's Christmas

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Bear's Christmas:

BC: LET THE RECORD SHOW ... THIS IS WHAT I'M GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS!

MK: {rolling eyes}.
BC: Is it just another case of my Momma's horrid photography?
MK: HEY!
BC: An extreme close up of coal?
MK: More likely ...
BC: Unfortunately, no. Black, also known as the absence of color, also indicates the ABSENCE of presents under our tree.
MK: We don't have a tree, Bear.
BC: EVEN WORSE! My Momma's a SCROOGE!
MK: And why do you think that is?
BC: You just don't want to give me the satisfaction of showing a tree full of cat toys who's ... err ... who's ... a cute and innocent little kitty cat.

MK: Let's take a short trip through your handiwork, shall we? Pulling the fill out of my comforter, destroying the loveseat, ripping up the desk chair, the carpet, the blinds, the things you've cleared off counters and tables, the couch, the paw prints across the stove, ripping up the carpet by the front door trying to tunnel underneath the door, destroying your toys ...


BC: HEY! If you can't be bothered to decorate adequately, I have to take matters into my own paws!
{Pause}
BC: As a sweet and innocent kitty cat of course! Also ... some of those things MOCK me! Surely you wouldn't expect me to take that kind of disrespect in my own home!
MK: Oh, yeah? Then why should I? HOW many times have you bitten me?


BC: HEY! You mock me ALL THE TIME!


MK: And that doesn't even include your projects I don't have on camera. How many papers have you shredded? Cords you chewed? Other things you knocked over or otherwise decimated? MY things you've stolen? You make it very hard to capture the things you do on camera.
BC: Well, yeah ... I like to run off with the spoils to enjoy OFF camera. And when I don't participate and you take pictures ANYWAY, then I make my move and run off with whatever it is. Or I make sure I sit in front of the camera and block half the shot, meanwhile pretending I don't know I'm in the way (OOH! my foot is dirty!). BOOM! No picture.
MK: {sigh}.

BC: Is this "Hate Bear Cat Day?" or CHRISTMAS?
MK: Let's just be honest about why we can't have a Christmas tree.
BC: I'm screwed! SCREWED! I'm just a sweet little kitty cat! 

{Pause}
BC: STOP LAUGHING! 
MK: How about you consider all the things you've destroyed around here as your gift?
BC: What would I want the DESTROYED things for? They're already PROPERLY decorated! We need a new couch. New carpet. New blinds. Ooooh! And another desk chair so I can stretch out! There are no places left to decorate around here! A cat needs a blank canvas to express his creativity.
{Pause}
BC: AND I HAVE NOTHING TO PLAY WITH!
MK: Bear, you've gotten so many new toys this past year ... between the conference and our friends ...

MK: And that doesn't even include all the things that AREN'T yours that you run off with or take possession of!

MK: Not to mention the homemade toys I've made you.


BC: But ... but ... I want something SPECIAL!
MK: Isn't every day special for us? Especially counting all our blessings. Like each other.



BC: But I want to be blessed with a tasty whole chicken!
MK: Come here, Love Bug.
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.


BC: Can I sing you my carols now?
MK: I don't know, it'll be awfully hard to top Rudolph the tasty reindeer.
BC: {AHEM}.
Deck the halls with catnip micey,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the reason to be spicy,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Dress me up and you'll be cryin',
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Yep, you'll wish that you were dying,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See my claws and fangs before you,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Lots of furry fury to spew,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Mock me and you will be contrite,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
I'll take you down like dynamite,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
{Silence}
MK: How NOT Christmassy.
BC: I never said they were Christmassy, I just said they were carols!
{Pause}
BC: {whispering} This is when you're supposed to clap, Momma.
MK: {clapping} Great job!
BC: Okay, that's enough. I have one more.
MK: Oh no.
BC: {AHEM}.
Bear Cat a guiding shiny star,
Accepting gifts from near and far,
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following handsome cat they are.

O Cat of wonder, cat of night
Cat with lots of ferocious bite.
Claws bared fast, so not harassed
Always ready for the fight.

Born homeless, hungry, and unloved,
Now a blogging housecat much beloved.
Cute, naughty, lover and haughty,
Gifted to Momma from above.

O Cat of wonder, cat of night
Cat with lots of ferocious bite.
Claws bared fast, so not harassed
Always ready for the fight.

Her self hatred with no respite,
Bear's love gave her a reason to fight.
So much past hurt, living to avert,
At last she saw a future light.
MK: Awww. To "We three kings of Orient are," right?
BC: No, to me!
MK: {sigh}.
BC: {whispering} This is when you're supposed to clap, Momma.
MK: {clapping} Great job! I really liked that one.
BC: You might be biased.
MK: Probably.
BC: Good.
MK: I love you, Bear Cat.
BC: I love you, Momma. Let's get this Christmas show on the road! 
MK: Ready for bed?
BC: Yes.
MK: Okay. {AHEM}.
 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Momma Kat's house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even Bear's mouse;
The stockings were hung from Bear's cat tree with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
Bear Cat was nestled all snug in the bed;
While visions of whole chickens danced in his head;
And Momma in her cat nightgown, snuggled right next to Bear,
She'd just settled her brain without so much as a care,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Bear sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew, all poofed up,
Climbed through the blinds and . . .
{Momma notices Bear is sleeping soundly cuddled right up next to her... she smiles, and turns out the light. Because her Bear Cat is snuggled in tight, she knows it will be a good night.}

Featured posts of the day:
Jingle mouse, jingle mouse,
Bear's about to pounce!
Oh what fun
it is to play
In a BIG ole' pile of bows!

Dashing through wrapping paper,
In a cat-play wonderland
O'er the bows I go,
Little butt wiggles all the way.

I finally caught my mouse
showing my prowess
What fun it is to pounce and sing
A mousing song tonight.

Jingle mouse, jingle mouse,
Bear's about to pounce!
Oh what fun
it is to play
In a BIG ole' pile of bows!


O Come All Ye Felines
Joyful and cantankerous,
O come ye, O come ye to see the Bear.

Come and behold him,
Born the King of the Formidable;

O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,
Bear Cat, the Great.
Do you recall, the tastiest reindeer of all . . .
Rudolph, the tasty reindeer
had very juicy loins.
And if you ever saw him,
my watering mouth yours would join.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him fat.
They always told poor Rudolph
He'd make a great meal for any cat.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph, I'm short of tasty chickens,
won't you help out so all cats have lickins'?"

Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the tasty reindeer,
No reindeer is tastier than he!

Bear and I didn't send out Christmas cards this year, but we wish all of our friends a merry holiday season filled with love and peace. We are truly thankful for each of you, as we count you among our blessings this year.

38 comments:

  1. Well, if Santa doesn't come through I may have to send you some of our toys Bear.

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  2. Aw, you two are so sweet. Momma is right...your greatest Christmas blessing is having each other. By the way, your comment on our blog today made me tear up. You are so, so right. Merry Christmas, dear friends.

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    Replies
    1. We are truly blessed ... with friends (like my favorite tortie), and with each other. ~Bear Cat

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  3. OMG you have worked a lot for Christmas, lol !

    Wish you a Merry Christmas and a lot of mousies !

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  4. Amarula feels for you Bear. If you don't count her 354 toys, she barely has any thing to play with too!

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    Replies
    1. If you don't count her 354 toys ... yep, that's pretty much how it is around here! Back when we did our "election" and all my toys were lined up to "vote" so many people commented on how many toys I have and I just didn't understand what they meant! ~Bear Cat

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  5. Um, so, all those things.... typical cat doings.... thusly, more toys should arrive! See how logical all this is? MOL!

    Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, and safe New Year!

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    Replies
    1. Like our post, "for a cat." I'm convinced cats should be judged on a curve ... for cats ;) Thank you! ~Bear Cat

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  6. We love your carols, Bear ! We wish you and your mom a Merry Christmas ! Purrs

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  7. Aw, Bear, those are some great carols. You know, you make Pierrot look not so bad behavior-wise and that's no easy feat! Like your mamma said, the greatest Christmas blessing is having each other. You are such a cuddly bear!

    We hope you both have a wonderful Christmas!

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    Replies
    1. I'm convinced cats should be judged on a curve ... for cats ;) That way, Pierrot and I look like good boys! I am a cuddly Bear ... but don't tell anyone ... I have street cred to uphold! ~Bear Cat

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  8. Uh oh, looks like a close up of a whole sack of coal!

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  9. Bear I am SURE you will get something! Heck I got a little mouse that dispenses treats and he is wearing a santa suit and I am Jewish! But...ultimately, since my pawrents can't afford gifts this year, the love of each other is most important. Love, Cody and Mom xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Yeah ... our finances aren't the best either. That's why Momma did the post about homemade toys earlier this year. ~Bear Cat

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  10. Bear! You are so clearly adored! Your redecorating would have your stocking filled with coal in most households! ;p

    We are glad you have your Mama , Bear, and that she has you! You both make us smile with your humour and love.

    Merry Christmas! May the New Year be filled with all sorts of good things and our continue friendship.

    the critters in the cottage and their Mama Sophie XO

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    Replies
    1. Awww ... THANK YOU! Hearing things like that make our day. Momma and I are pretty lucky ... not only for each other, but for incredible friends like all of you :) ~Bear Cat

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  11. Bear, we know you'll get everything you wished for because...well..it's Christmas! And that's how it works. :)

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  12. Wow, this was cute! You luff your mom, Bear.. it's that time of the year when it's ok to admit it.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Yeah, I do love my Momma. I give her a hard time, but she's pretty special. ~Bear Cat

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  13. How mean of your Momma not to have a tree for you to destroy, that is part of the fun cats have at Christmas.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! She offered to print out a picture of a Christmas tree ... but shredding a piece of paper doesn't compare!!! ~Bear Cat

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  14. Aww, Bear Cat, we're so sorry you don't have a tree, because we would so love to hear how you destroy it--I mean enjoy it. Maybe if you bite your momma a little less, next year you'll get a tree. Merry Christmas to both of you!

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    Replies
    1. But ... but ... I AM biting her less!!! {sigh}. Thank you for the Christmas wishes :) ~Bear Cat

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  15. This human insists on putting up a tree. Eddy insists on torturing it. Anyway, don't you already have the best gift of all, Bear? A loving mom? Merry Christmas Eve!

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    Replies
    1. My Momma is alright ... I try to keep that on the down low though since I have street cred to protect :) ~Bear Cat

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  16. Aww, Bear, those were mighty fine verse in deed. I'm sure you'll find something special under the tree tomorrow from Santa. We don't have one either but we do have a metaphor, peep says. When I find that I'll tell you, until then we'll just pretend that the roof over our head and fire in the hearth and food on our plate and love in our heart is our tree. purrs ERin PS I have loads of coal if you want some!

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    Replies
    1. WHAT?!? You? COAL? I don't believe it! Well, I mean there was that one thing ... and the other ... the jokes at your Peep's expense ... oh, @#$!, I'm getting coal too!!! I've never caught a metaphor before ... but I'll keep my eyes out! ~Bear Cat

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  17. You know what Bear? We bet you get a gift. But ya' know what else? Ifin ya' never got another thing ever, you already got da bestest gift of all...a mommy who luvs you more than anythin' ese in da world. We know, vux we got dat too. And like you, we got conference toys and other toys. We luv those toyus, but without mommy they wouldn't mean a thing. And we never got decorations on our tree this year cuz of Raena. Mommy says we might not do da tree again, but it'll still be Christmas cuz mommy will still give us extra special luvvin' like we're sure your mommy will. Big hugs from us. Merry Christmas.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Yeah, without my Momma, I'd be sad. I like to have someone to cat off to sometimes ... and her snuggles are pretty nice too. We hope your Christmas is filled with kitty snuggles and lots of purring :) ~Bear Cat

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  18. Oh, Bear, we think you are a one cat wrecking crew, and we are not surprised you don't have a Christmas tree! We also have a feeling that Santa (Momma) will come through for you, tree or not.
    We wish you and Momma Kat a very, very Merry Christmas!! With ♥ from all of us at Wag 'n Woof Pets!

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  19. Handsome and you can sing!!?? Amarula is in love! Hope you guys had a great Christmas!

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    1. Ooooh ... and I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVE torties!!! ~Bear Cat

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