Friday, August 19, 2016

Better in my head

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat


Daily conversation - Better in my head:
BC: {Sitting on the floor in front of the chair ... looking around} Do de do la la fa so de so.



MK: Don't even THINK about it!
{Stare down ... then Momma sprints to the chair}

BC: {Jumping in the chair} Woop!
MK: DARN it, Bear!!
BC: Lalalalala ... {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick}.

MK: Move.
BC: Lalalalala ... {licky, licky, lick, lick, lickety lick}.

MK: Come ON! This is the SIXTH time in fifteen minutes that I got up and came back to you waiting to jump in the chair JUST as I was about to sit down again.

BC: I think the important words of note here are, "GOT UP" and "CAME BACK." The chair wasn't occupied.
MK: Bear! You WAITED for me to come back - so you could make sure I SAW you steal the chair.
BC: It's not stealing if the chair isn't occupied.
MK: You RACED me!
BC: The early cat gets the ... gets the ... err ... umm ... chair?
MK: Seriously?
BC: It sounded better in my head.
MK: It usually does, doesn't it?
BC: This from the person who yelled out in frustration, "I CAN'T GET INTO MY OWN PANTS!"
MK: They were too small! The dryer ...
BC: Lalalalala ... DOUGHNUTS!
MK: Did I ask you?
BC: Just helping.
MK: NOT.
BC: What about "I HAVE NO LIFE!" Or my personal favorite, "I DON'T HAVE A DATE!"
MK: I had help from SOME CAT on those.
BC: I am THE CAT.
{Pause}
BC: That sounded better in my head too.
MK: Hehehehe. Move.
BC: No.
MK: {moving toward removing the cat} Fine.
BC: MROOWWWWWWWWW!

MK: OW! What was that for?
BC: You can't sit here!
MK: BITE ME!
BC: Well, okay ...

MK: NOT what I meant!
BC: MROW! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
MK: Most cats only hiss when they feel threatened. You hiss when I try to sit in my own chair or when I pick you up when you refuse to come inside.
BC: I also hiss when you clip my claws.
MK: Exactly. Your hisses are part of temper tantrums, not fear.
BC: That's because I'm not afraid of anything!
MK: I'm sorry. Why do you spend half of the time hiding under the kitchen table now?

BC: I'm not HIDING! I'm ... I'm ... well, hmmm ...
MK: HIDING?
BC: No. I don't have to explain myself. I'm a cat. I do my own thing. I do CAT things!
MK: Umm ...
BC: It sounded better in my head.
MK: I'm detecting a pattern.
BC: Yes. I'm trying to relax in my desk chair and you're annoying me! What's a cat gotta do to get some peace and quiet around here?
MK: NOT sit in my desk chair.
BC: It DOES have MY name on it ...
MK: Where did you find more post-its? After the first episode and its conclusion, I thought I hid them all.
BC: A cat never tells.
MK: Yet, you don't mind telling on me.
BC: Well, you DO eat a lot of doughnuts! WHAT?!?! Why are you STARING AT ME?!?! I'm not moving.

MK: That's my chair.
BC: I'm not moving.
MK: I'm going to take some pictures.

BC: Get that {BLEEP}ing camera out of my face! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! 
There's an ogre staring ... oh, wait. That's you. A-NNOY-ING!

MK: You blinked.
BC: I'm not moving.
MK: Please?!?!
BC: I'm not moving.
{Pause}
BC: HA! YOU blinked that time!
{Pause}
BC: HEY! NO! NONONONONO! I'm NOT moving! This is illegal! You can't use your giant oaf status to REMOVE me from my chair! HOW RUDE!
{Pause}
BC: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
MK: BEAR! Bring that camera back here!
BC: Nope. I'm going to dump it in my water bowl. I've had enough!
MK: Hey!
BC: SUCKER! Ha! You moved. I OWN this mother-meowing chair!

MK: You got the chair. Congratulations.
BC: That's not the point.
MK: Then what's the point?
{Pause}
BC: Errr ... umm ... yeah ... no, not that ... errr ...
{Pause}
BC: ME GETTING MY WAY! MEMEMEMEMEME!
{Pause}
BC: RATS! That sounded better in my head too!
MK: So basically, you take the position directly opposite to the position you know me to hold - JUST to oppose me. To prove that you're superior?
BC: RESPECT the CAT.
MK: Okay. THAT ONE sounded good out loud.
BC: Thank you.


Featured posts of the Day:
***  To read more about the desk chair wars:
***  Interested in reading about another time something sounded better in Bear's head than out loud? Read about his aspirations to be a "crapper" in Momma's Sad . . . and Bear For President!

***  Since the start of the blog, Bear's been accusing Momma of endless iniquities and/or frustrating her to the point that she admits things out loud that she'd rather keep to herself ... prior incidents include:

16 comments:

  1. Yes, some things definitely sound better in one's head. :-) And wow, Bear, you sure did dig in to your momma's leg. I hope she's okay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where's the concern for me?!?! She stole my chair! Okay, okay. She's okay. Though she's also not sitting in the desk chair ;) ~Bear Cat

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  2. OMC Those are all pawsum fotos. We really luvved da closeup of you in da chair Bear. Mommy even reached out to pinch your cheeks (somethin' she always did to sis Lexi befur kissin' her all over). We don't really care to sit in mommy's chair. Well least not without her in it. We much purrfur her lap. Comfy and we can get whatever we want from there. MOL We got her wrapped round our pawsies. She luvs her a donut too, but we don't have anywhere fur her to get 'em or believe me, she would fur sure be tryin' to figger out how to buy a dozen a day. Big hugs to you and momma.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Little secret? The desk chair isn't comfortable ... I just want it because my Momma wants it ;) We hope you ladies have a great weekend! ~Bear Cat

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  3. Well done Bear ! Everyone knows that office chairs belong to the Boss, aka the kitty ! Purrs

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    Replies
    1. My Momma is the ONE HUMAN who doesn't understand this fact! Sure. It would just have to be MY human! ~Bear Cat

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  4. I just love your obsession with that chair, Bear! (Do you need Mudpie to slip you a few more post-its in the mail???) ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cats are always prepared ... I might or might not have some in my secret stash that I do or do not have ... somewhere or no where in this house ;) ~Bear Cat

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  5. How clever of you to invent a game of musical chair with your Mama :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as she doesn't start "singing" or "dancing" ... ~Bear Cat

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  6. Haha - musical chairs with Momma Kat! That happens in our house all the time too - anytime I vacate a spot the cats jump right up there whilst it's still warm.

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    Replies
    1. As long as no "singing" or "dancing" is involved ... count me in. If you heard/saw my Momma do either, you'd understand ;) ~Bear Cat

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  7. Bear, the under-the-table thing isn't hiding. It's LURKING. She should know that by now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point. My Momma was just writing a post about that this morning (for next week) ... she used that exact word too! ~Bear Cat

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  8. My fave photo is of the two of you looking at the camera, that's priceless! catchatwithcarenandcody

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