Friday, June 24, 2016

Loud, proud ... and blunt

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Loud, proud ... and blunt:
MK: BEAR!
BC: Do you mind? I'm grooming my unmentionables. The LEAST you could do is look the other way and give a cat some privacy.
MK: Why do you get all modest all of a sudden? Why don't you just call it like it is and say "I'm licking my butt!" I mean, if you're going to do it without abandon, in the middle of the family room all loud and proud, you might as well just be blunt.
BC: Nothing about me is blunt. My fangs aren't blunt. My claws aren't ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS! My claws ARE blunt. But only because you clipped my claws. TRAITOR!
MK: YOU'RE THE ONE IN MY CHAIR!
BC: MY chair.
MK: This is a record, EVEN FOR YOU!
BC: What's your problem now?
MK: I got up less than ten seconds ago to grab a yogurt from the refrigerator ... less than TEN SECONDS, Bear ... and I come back to find you occupying the chair I'd left LESS THAN TEN SECONDS BEFORE!!!
BC: I think the operative concept here is "occupying." I was here first. The chair was empty when I took possession. You snooze you lose.
{Pause}
BC: No! NO! You choose moos, you lose! You choose chews, you lose!
{Pause}
BC: Either way, YOU LOSE. I'M NOT MOVING.
MK: Oh, so NOW the chair means so much to you? After all the ripping and shredding you've done WHILE I'm sitting in it?
BC: I don't see what the one has to do with the other.
MK: Your cat tree is the nicest and most pristine ... and by that I mean UNCLAWED ... piece of furniture in this house!

BC: Why would I want to destroy my favorite piece of ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
{Pause}
BC: I'm not moving. I suggest you live with it.
MK: Do I have a choice?
BC: No. I make the choices around here.
MK: You don't say.
BC: I DO say! Aren't you listening?
MK: I'm going to go stick my head in ... in ... oh hell. Like I know!
BC: Sticking your head where it doesn't belong? Is that any way to deal with your problems?
MK: Are you admitting you're a problem?
BC: I ... err ... YOU ... umm ... uhh ... I'M NOT MOVING!
MK: FINE!
BC: FINE! FINE!
MK: {mumbling to herself} All I want to do is eat my yogurt in MY desk chair ... IN PEACE! But NOOOOO ... I get Mr. Snarky TOUGH PANTS. Sheesh. {In a mocking voice} "OOOH! I make the choices around here!" 
BC: You don't have a desk chair. 
MK: Yeah. Thanks for pointing that out.
BC: But you do have me.
MK: {sigh}. Yes. 
BC: You're welcome.
MK: I love you, Bear.
BC: I'm not moving.
MK: I wasn't expecting you to.
BC: Oh. Huh. I love you too, Momma. But I'm still not moving.

Pictures of the Day:
Both pictures illustrate this conversation and the picture on the left previews the theme of our Sunday Selfies post which will be posted on Sunday.

Featured post(s) of the Day:
*** You can read about the start of the desk chair wars in Chair + Towel + Cat = Tons of Pictures. The pictures aren't up to current standards, but it gives you an idea of the history.
*** Another series on the desk chair wars occur in "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 12 (On the desk chair wars, parts 1-3).
*** The two most recent updates to the desk chair saga are found in, "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 23 ("On sharing selfishness"), and "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 24 ("On MOO!").

4 comments:

  1. Hehe, my peeps got out of this conundrum by buying another chair, little aware that I am after a whole set. Two down, another two to go. After that I'm trying for a second sofa! purrs ERin

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are such a cutie, Bear. Clearly your Momma doesn't understand that the second one vacates a chair, it is no longer theirs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I AM cute! That alone should mean something. My Momma doesn't appreciate me! ~BC

      Delete