Tuesday, January 9, 2018

The migration

MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance
BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae 

Two months ago ...
{Momma walks into the second bedroom to find two cats on the bed}
MK: They're on the same bed! They're on the same bed!!!! Come quick! You've GOT to see this!!!
The Boy: {walking in} They're just about as far apart as they can be! I bet they don't even know they're on the same bed.
MK: SO!?!? This is really EXCITING! They're CHOOSING to lay on the same bed!
BC: Don't bother. If two sleeping cats excite her, she clearly doesn't get out much.
MK: I've got to get pictures of this! This is the best thing ever!
{Momma takes pictures from a couple different angles}
The Boy: Whatever. 

One month ago ...
{Momma walks into the second bedroom to find two cats on the bed ... this time, closer than ever before}
MK: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! They're snuggling! They're snuggling!
BC: Get a life! I can't believe you're stalking us. No, wait. Let me rephrase that ... I CAN believe you're stalking us ... but you're a couple handfuls of nuts! This reminds me of the time after my last dental procedure where you kept checking to make sure I was still breathing. ANNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYING! What's it take for a cat to get a nap around here?!?

Two weeks ago ...
{Momma walks into the second bedroom to find two cats on the bed}

MK: Wait a ... they look farther apart this time ... I should grab a ruler and measure so I can keep track ...
EM: Is she for real?
BC: I told you ... it doesn't take much. At least she's not ...
{Momma fights the sniffles}
MK: This is just ... {sniffle} ... cute! I've been {sniffle} ... waiting for this ... {sniffle} ... for a long time.
BC: {SIGH} Never mind. She's crying.

One week ago ...
{Momma walks into the second bedroom to find two cats on the bed}
MK: AHA!!!!!! They're closer this time! They're closer this time! I KNEW it!
BC: Oh, for the ...
MK: Come quick! You've GOT to see this!!!
The Boy: Not AGAIN! Just leave the cats alone!!!
MK: Hurry! Bring the ruler!
The Boy: Don't you think this is a bit ... crazy?
BC: I admit that he's a total dumbnut ... but LISTEN TO HIM!!! We want privacy! LISTEN TO HIM and no one will get hurt.
EM: Is this ever going to stop?
BC: Just be glad humans don't have nine lives.
EM: Make it stop!
BC: I'm exhausted. I've been awake for EIGHT AND A HALF MINUTES.
EM: Poor you.

A couple days ago ...
{Ellie jumps on the bed and settles close to Bear ... (ALMOST) touching}
BC: Move farther away!
EM: We can share the blanket!
BC: You'd better make sure Momma doesn't see this. I'll never hear the end of it. Everyone will laugh at me. "Oh, hahahaha. Did you see Bear?!?! He's snuggling with his dolt of a sister!"
EM: If she catches us, I'll just tell her that I'm cold and I snuggled up to you.
BC: That IS what happened! 
BC: You WANTED to cuddle with me?
BC: Of all the stupid cats I could be stuck with ... just give a cat some room or I'll make sure that tail never hits me in the face again!!! I'm exhausted!
BC: That's not far enough!
EM: My tail's no where near you!
BC: I'm not talking about RIGHT NOW! I'm talking about how you LOVE to flick your tail in my face.
EM: Yeah. When you're licking my butt! That means you're supposed to stop!
BC: You sure complain a lot.
EM: You have room to talk, Grumpy-Pants.
BC: It's not MY fault you've got a stick shoved up your butt! NO! It's not MY fault something crawled up your ass and died!
EM: My ass? No. But that's what YOURS smells like!
BC: Just keep your nose away from my rear end.
EM: It's not MY fault that you have a bad attitude.
BC: Shut up!
EM: NO! YOU shut up!
EM: You're being mean to me! 
BC: You're being annoying! 
EM: I'm going to tell Momma!
BC: You'd better not! I refuse to hear about this for the rest of my nine lives.
EM: I can help with ...
BC: This is MY bed! Just remember that.
EM: I don't see your name ...
{Bear snores ...}
EM: Hmph. It would serve him right if I cuddled up next to him and then meowed until Momma found us ...

Yesterday ...
{Momma walks into the room and finds Bear and Ellie sleeping inches apart on the bed}

MK: Awwww!!! I need to get some pictures of this! This is the BEST day EVER! You two are getting closer! And I'm so happy, I can barely stand it! AWWWWWWW! My heart is happy. So happy!!!
BC: Oh, please don't ...
{Momma fights the sniffles}
BC: Not again!
MK: This is just ... {sniffle} ... just ... I've been {sniffle} ... waiting ... {sniffle} ... for a long time ... I thought ... {sniffle} ... we'd NEVER ... {sniffle} ... BEST ... {sniffle} day!!!
BC: {sigh} AANNNNNNNND she's crying. AGAIN.
{Momma runs off to grab the camera}
BC: {to himself} It's like a herd of demented elephants! Maybe her crying will cloud her vision and she'll run into the wall again. I'd get a picture of that! Can you imagine a doughnut butt shaped hole in the ... Hahahahahahaha. Wait a ... where's my audience?!?
{Pause as Bear looks at Ellie and sees she's asleep}
BC: {poking Ellie with his claw} HEY! Dumbass! WAKE UP!
EM: Sleep ... y ...
{Momma walks into the room again - with her camera out}
BC: RATS! She didn't knock herself out. No cameras allowed! Do you mind?!? Sure. Just because I'm an internet sensation, people think they can chase me around, violate my privacy, and throw my life on a huge TV screen! Sensationalism. Scandal. Well, I don't want any part of it!! 
EM: Violate YOUR privacy? You lick my butt!
MK: She's got a point. You also watch me going to the bathroom and showering.
BC: Beargate is closed!
MK: The who-the-huh?
BC: BEAR-GATE. The scandal is over before it started. Now ... {AHEM!}
BC: Momma's in here with the camera!
EM: SO?!
EM: Why? I'm comfortable and napping!
BC: If you don't move she'll have pictures of us ALMOST snuggling together!
EM: So?

BC: I have a reputation to uphold you know! Bad-ass street cred and all. No tortie love. I'll be an outcast! I can hear it now ... they'll call me a sissy pussy ... hmm ...
EM: That's really dumb.
BC: SHUT UP, Smellie!
MK: If Amarula was nice to Frodo or Zulu would you think less of her? Would it change how you feel about her?
BC: Well, no. But she's not nearly as hot as she was before she woke up next to Frodo on New Year's. Or when she kissed Frodo a few weeks later.  
MK: That's not true ... and you know it. You're just jealous.
BC: FINE! She's just as tortie-lucious as always! But that doesn't mean I want to be caught sleeping next to my dipstick of a sister!
EM: So move yourself.
BC: I'll be the laughingstock of the internet! My enemies will just LOVE to see me knocked down and humiliated.
EM: You don't have any enemies. Err ... mostly. The only reason you have enemies is because you start fights with everything!
BC: SHUT UP, Smellie! There's gray-y mousie ... kitty ... my teddy bear ...
EM: Don't take it out on me! If you don't want us to have our picture taken, you're going to have to move.
BC: Yeah. Break a claw, why don't you.
EM: Like the one I'm about ready to shove up your ...
MK: HEY! You both moved! Can't I get one picture?
BC: You should know that just snuggling isn't the same as piles of fat touching. The meeting of our personal spreads is kind of incidental.
EM: What are you talking about ... personal spread? Let me show you where to stick ...
BC: The only good thing I can say about your new camera is that you don't use the flash nearly as much as you did with the old one. Less nap disturbances ... and easier to ignore. Then again, I also don't realize when you're taking a picture until it's too late. I mean ... REALLY?! Shouldn't you give a cat a chance to stop whatever it is he's doing before it's permanently recorded for posterity.

EM: You could just not do what you don't want to be caught doing.
BC: What fun is that? I mean, if I wanted to be obedient and man's best friend, I would've been a dog! "Roll over?! SURE! I LOVE to roll over! Rolling over is the best thing ever!"
MK: All right, you two. Picture time.
BC: Get that  out of my *&^ or I'll *&^@ your #@^% with my &@#$!
EM: I might not agree with you on much ... but you writing down all the bad words and phrases Momma uses is borderline brilliant. You never know when one might need to *&^@ a &@#$!
MK: SMILE!!!!!!!!!!
BC: This is my &@#$ the @#$ing bed! Get the #@^% off my &@#$ with the *&^@!
EM: OWW! He bit me!
MK: You both moved again! Can't you two sit still long enough for me to get a picture?!?
EM: I love cuddling with my favorite ...
BC: Watch it ...
EM: ... blanket.
BC: HEY! I thought I was you favorite! 
EM: But you're just a big softie ...
BC: I feel ... dirty ... used ... it's like the planets are all jumbled up and backward. My Bear-ness has been corrupted ... disrespected ... subverted ... by closeness and ... BLECH! HHHHHHHACK ... HHHHHHWACK ... PTOOEY! 
EM: EWWW! You BARFED on my blanket!
BC: I need ... need ... to get out of here ... far away ...
MK: Wait a ... I need a ...
MK: I didn't even get a  ...
{Momma hears ripping from the other room ... and finds Bear ripping up the couch}

BC: Take THAT! And THIS! And ... and ... I'll teach you a lesson you can't forget! I need something else ... hmmm ... the love seat!
{Bear runs to the love seat and starts ripping it up}
BC: Who's a softie now?!?! This love seat! The couch! They're softies! I'm bad-ass! I'm going to show this love seat what it means to have respect! ARG!
MK: Okay ... okay ...
{Bear runs to the kitchen}
BC: Momma! I'm on the kitchen counter!!! I'm looking for trouble to cause! I'm going to redecorate the kitchen!

MK: I hate when he gets like this ...
EM: Ummm ... he's ALWAYS this AFFECTED ... 
MK: True. He's compensating for being cuddly. So he needs to destroy some stuff and misbehave.
BC: Look, Momma! I'm cooking!!!
MK: Bear! Get off the stove!
BC: Make me!!! I DARE YOU!
BC: I'm thinking of the blinds I destroyed ... no cute and cuddly here! I'm showing them what I'm capable of!
BC: I'm GOOD! In a BAD way. Hehehehehehehe. What else ... what else ... I KNOW! Hehehehe.
BC: Naaaah NAH. Naaaah NAH. N-AH N-AH N-AH ...
The Boy: What? Why's everyone running down the hall?
{A door slams down the hall}
BC: Naaaah NAH. Naaaah NAH. N-AH N-AH N-AH ...
The Boy: Uh oh! LET ME IN!!! LET ME IN!!!!!! Damn it! You could warn ...
{Bear bites}
BC: I'm the SHARK!
The Boy: That's one way to describe it.
BC: Tell Momma and Ellie I'm not a softie.
The Boy: What are you ... you were cuddling with me ... 
{Bear bites}
The Boy: OWWWWWWWW!!! Knock that off! FINE! You're NOT a softie!

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  1. Oh Bear and Ellie Mae, seeing you two close like that sure makes the heart smile!

    1. Our Momma feels the same way! ~Bear Cat and Ellie Mae

  2. Angel and Da Boyz are in the beginning stages of this...hoping that someday they'll live in harmony!

  3. Humans are always so excited when they see us getting closer and closer ! Purrs

  4. dood....we willna say we saw ewe sleepin next ta yur sisturr
    if ewe due knot let any one noe we said... AWESUM !!!! total lee ☺☺♥♥

  5. MOL! Beargate, sissy pussy, Bear-essence! You make this lil' chat noir chuckle every time! Purr-fect kitty fun & you two have such cute looks on your faces! Kisses!

    1. Hehehe. You don't have to live with me ;) ~Bear Cat

  6. Awwwww!! Sorry, Bear, we gotta do it. You two look so adorable together. but if you really need a good cover story, just point out how cold it's been lately. It's just self preservation.

    The Boy: {walking in} They're just about as far apart as they can be! I bet they don't even know they're on the same bed.
    What an action packed, mystery and bro-mance all in one post.
    It is sibling love for sure.
    Hugs madi and mom

    1. That's how he feels! He doesn't understand Momma taking so many pictures of us! ~Bear Cat and Ellie Mae

  8. AMARULA: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! My human swore she destroyed those photos! Bear how can you stand to look at me! I swear I was otta my mind from winter fever! How else could I have let Frodo get so close!!?? God, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth! And you! What is going on with you?? Is the human or EM drugging you? Did they use Crazy Glue to keep you stuck to the bed--I know that's the only way you would let her be so close!!

    1. Blame it on the cold! Whether we like them or not ... our fursibs ARE warm! I guess we'll have to deal with it until we find a way to be together. ~Bear Cat

  9. I think Ellie Mae was just getting close to you to steal your heat. She probably had brain freeze from the cold. ;)

  10. You both do look so cute together, and Bear, there is such a thing as protesting too much.

  11. Bear, watch out. Before you know it, Ellie Mae will be laying on top of you and then you won’t be able to move. Trust me, I know all about that. ~Ernie

    1. My Momma would lose her poop is she caught Ellie in my arms like Wally was in yours!!! Tears EVERYWHERE!!! I'd never live it down! ~Bear Cat

  12. I love these pictures of Bear and Ellie Mae together! I especially like the ones of them touching.

    Bear looks so cute on the stove. Bear, Pierrot once walked on the stove shortly after it had been on. His paws were okay but it could have been bad. We have to watch now, but he hasn't done it since.

    1. Momma loves these pictures too. Within a month of bringing Bear inside, he traipsed across the hot stove. I felt so badly for him - I was dumping hot grease at the time, so I couldn't grab him. He's pretty good now about staying away when it's warm. But I will never forget it. And I might not ever forgive myself either.

  13. Bear, this tortie doesn't think any less of you for letting your sister get closer in this cold weather! It's very sweet. Mommy and I can't really blame Amarula for her transgression either...that Frodo is pretty darned adorable! --Mudpie

    1. That's how they do it! They act all cute and fool EVERYONE! Hmph. I know better. ~Bear Cat

  14. Oh my stars! Look at you two! Lexy and I can't let Mommy see this, or else we'll never hear the end of it!

  15. It's about time Bear calmed down and relaxed...you can be tough and sleep on the same bed. I'm known in the Lane and the toms leave me alone....I can run pretty fast too. mew


  16. Way to break up the photoshoot at the last minute. We like to do the same thing around here. Ruby and I cuddle up, our assistant runs to get the camera, and then as she is fussing with the settings and ALMOST ready to capture the moment ...we move.

    P.S.: Thanks for your lovely comment on our pet blogger challenge post. It really made my day, thank you! I'm so glad we have connected through the blog world and look forward to seeing you in April at BlogPaws

    1. Hmmm ... maybe we should buy our Momma some lenses that aren't auto-focus ... that should give us enough time ... ~Bear Cat

  17. Cheer up, Bear...cuddling isn't the worst thing you can do with a sister. Congrats on making proximity progress. For the record...nice!!

    1. PROXIMITY!!! THAT was the word I was looking for when writing and titling this post! ARG! Love "proximity progress." Hahahaha.

  18. She brought out a ruler? A ruler is as bad as a flashy-box, for sure. MOUSES! But you know... You two are pretty cute cuddlin' up together like that. purrs

  19. Oh you two lovebirds ;p Our Mama would be running for the camera too! XO
    Good bad a** save Bear with all that rip, rip, rippity ripping! ;p

    the critters in the cottage xo

  20. Bear, that is A LOT of drama over a few little photos your Mama wanted to take! Maybe you could just indulge her...a little bit??

    1. Give her a few pictures and she'll never stop snapping!! ~Bear Cat

  21. For what it's worth, Bear and Ellie, we get all sniffly when we see you two sleeping close together, too! :)

  22. Don't worry, Bear, just put any pictures where you're too close down to solar flares... or the winter solstice! Cant argue with nature now can they... or Mr Shark!
    Toodle pip

  23. That is so sweet. I knew you two would get along. I wish my cats would get that close to one another.

  24. We always luv a good together foto. There's nuffin' wrong with bein' cuddly Bear. We luv cuddlin' with mommy and we thought you did too. We really do luv the fotos with the new camera. Big hugs

    luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    1. Thank you! Snuggling with Momma is DIFFERENT! She's a MOMMA ... NOT a SISTER! ~Bear Cat

  25. I know EXACTLY how your momma feels when she sees you two close together!!! And it's even better when it's documented with photos. There's proof!

    1. That one of Olive and Sophie was priceless! It got Momma in the feels!