Friday, June 16, 2017

Bear Cat originals

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

BC: So what did you do to embarrass me at this year's BlogPaws Conference?
MK: You act like I embarrassed you LAST ...
{Pause}
MK: Err ... SO WHAT?!?! You act like I made a fool of myself last year.
BC: Phht. Of course not. Everyone knows you're weird ... you made a fool out of me for putting up with you!
MK: It wasn't THAT bad ...
{Silence as Momma and Bear stare at each other}
MK: ... ALL THE TIME.
BC: Please tell me that you at least learned from last year!
MK: Most of the cats were different from last year.
BC: And when you saw them ... you acted like you'd never seen a cat before?


MK: HEY! I love cats. And I feel like I know so many of them from following their blogs! It's truly a treat to see them and pet them. I LOVE them!!! Meeting my favorite cats is the best part of the Conference!!!
BC: Please tell me you didn't trip this time.
MK: HEY! When I saw a cat across the room, I tried to pay attention to what was around me, instead of just the cat.
BC: I noticed you have a bruise on your knee.
MK: I tripped over a chair.
BC: {sigh}. I knew it!!! You were stalking other cats again!
MK: I might have also pushed through a bunch of people standing around and talking.
BC: Did you tell them you're rabid? Because people can't blame me for that. Oh, FUZZLE STICKS! I'm SCREWED!
MK: The first kitty I met was Herman from It's a Wonderpurr Life. He was so incredibly soft and so incredibly sweet. Of course, I had to ask all about his sisfur, Dori. All the pictures of her melt my heart ... especially the one that shows her catching Hermie's piggy bank when he tried to break it out of frustration.

BC: PLEASE tell me you didn't say that out loud!?!?
MK: Ummm ...
BC: Did you at least only mention it ONCE?
MK: Uh oh.
BC: You went all cat fan girl on people who brought their cats?
MK: Of course not! I went cat fan girl on the people who didn't bring their cats as well!!! It was exciting! I've never cared much for celebrities ... but give me bloggers of my favorite cats ... and I'll squeal like a teenage girl at a concert of her favorite band. I had a catillion questions about all the kitties I love!
BC: So you pestered other bloggers asking inane questions about their cats?
MK: Ummm ... they didn't seem to mind me asking! And I really wanted to know! Especially in the cases where I have a perception of how things are from reading a blog - but I wonder if it's accurate. You have no idea how excited I was to find out more about the cats I love so much. Reading their blogs doesn't feel like a job ... it's a pleasure.
BC: You're right. I have no idea ... because I'M NOT CRAZY!!!
The Boy: ACTUALLY ...
BC: Are you still here?!?!  Momma's back, so you can leave!
The Boy: I live here too, you know!
BC: Don't remind me.
The Boy: You are a bit crazy ...
BC: Who asked you?
The Boy: Well, I just meant ...
BC: Now that I'm completely embarrassed to be associated with you ... I could use some catnip to forget. Where's my stuff?!?!?
MK: What?
BC: The spoils of your going to the Conference? My booty? Bounty? Loot? Jackpot? Plunder? Reward? Windfall? My STUFF!!!!!! I know it's in this bag, Momma! Open it up! Open it up!!! Let me in!!!! I want my kitty goodness! My treasure!!! My recompense for being left with dumbnuts!
MK: {sigh} Okay, okay.
{Momma unzips the bag and Bear noses around inside}


BC: Oooooooh! PRETTY! I need this! And this! 

BC: Dump it out, Momma! Dump it out!!! I want to roll around on all my new stuff!!!
BC: NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE. I smell chicken! And salmon! TOY! Catnip!!!
BC: And OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH! A YEOWWW banana!!! I've never had one of these before!!!!

BC: HIIIIIIIIII, my pretty!!! What's a fruit like you doing in a place like this? Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. Did your license get suspended for driving other kitties crazy?
BC: Hey, Nana! Being new here doesn't exempt you from my rules. You want a piece of me? I'll kill you before you figure which end is up! 
{Bear rolls all over his catnip banana ...}

BC: Oooooooooh. Ahhhhhhhhh. YEEEEESSSSS!

BC: I'm warning you! Any more fruit and I'll make a smoothie out of you!


The Boy: This, I GOT to see! He terrorizes a catnip banana but spends half the day under the bed.
MK: Don't encoura ...
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH! I'm going to unpeel you and then turn you into a banana split! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!


The Boy: That made no sense. 
BC: It sounded better in my head. Wait until I show Nana the whipped cream!
{The Boy stares at Bear rolling around with Nana and clawing her}
BC: WHAT?!?! Do you MIND?!?! I'm busy doing unspeakable things to this banana!

MK: I need to get a picture ...
{Momma reaches down to grab the banana}
MK: EWWWW! This is soaking wet! You slobbered all over it!
BC: Phht. Cat's don't slobber! We CLOBBER!
The Boy: Did that sound better in your head too?
BC: SHUT UP! Who asked you?
{Pause}
BC: Wait, wait, WAIT!!! {looking around} Is this ALL the swag?
MK: What? You got tons of new toys, food to try, and other random stuff!
BC: Phht. This isn't enough to compensate for you leaving me alone with The Boy for four days! I'm NEVER going to forgive you for this! I HATE YOU!
MK: Bear ...
The Boy: At least you GOT something! I just got screwed!
BC: Whatever. You had me all to yourself. No more gifts necessary.
The Boy: {to Momma} I don't forgive you either!
BC: Whine whine whine. I'll share my stuff with you.
The Boy: Oh. That's really nice of you, Bear!
BC: Let's see ... I don't like pate ... so you can have all of that ... I don't really need a collar or these probiotics ... HERE!
The Boy: I'm not going to eat cat food!
BC: As if Momma's cooking is so much better.
The Boy: Hahahahahahahaha.
MK: HEY!
BC: Wait wait wait! Odor removing spray! Momma must've gotten this for you!

The Boy: Thanks.
BC: Don't thank me ... SHE got it for you!
MK: Bear! Look at all the cool stuff our friends got for us!!!


BC: Err ... what'd we get them?
MK: Ummm ...
BC: I KNEW IT!!!! You forgot AGAIN! How? I DON'T KNOW! I worked for MONTHS on those fur balls!! And you didn't hand them out?!?! How RUDE!
MK: I'm not sure anyone would want your hairballs, Bear.
BC: You keep them! They're premium fancy triple A fur!!! I even autographed them!! Bear Cat originals!
The Boy: You've GOT to be kidding.
BC: I never kid about fur. And I never kid about a certain deposit that you'll find sooner than later.
The Boy: If I find my phone charger in your litter box again ...
BC: It terms of gifts for other bloggers, now that I'm thinking ... 
The Boy: So you admit that you weren't thinking before?
BC: Shut your pie-hole, dumbnuts.
{Pause}
BC: We should keep the fur for ourselves. We'll give out mugs!!! My face would make the perfect mug shot!

The Boy: Ain't that the truth!
BC: How did you know that I've always wanted a mug shot?
The Boy: It explains A LOT!
BC: Who asked you?
The Boy: I agreed with you!
BC: Phht. You could try that more often you know. So you'd want a mug with my face on it?
The Boy: What? You said a MUG SHOT ... not a shot of your face on a mug.
BC: Are you even paying attention? 
The Boy: Never mind.
BC: What I REALLY want are my own t-shirts! We could start a whole Bear paraphernalia shop! All Bear, all the time!
MK: How's that any different than now?
BC: I saw the pictures of you posing with other cats!
MK: They were flat pets.

BC: Is that some kind of new age diet? Because I look best in three dimensions.
MK: No, it's a picture of the cat mounted on cardboard.
BC: Well, that doesn't sound tasty!
MK: It's not supposed to be!
BC: You should make a flat Bear.
MK: You mean for next year?
BC: NO! For NOW! I could admire myself all day long whenever I want. And I wouldn't have to share my food or toys with it. Flat Bear could do all my publicity and on-location shots. GOLDEN!
The Boy: One of you is more than enough.
BC: I'm talking about out-sourcing my duties! No more photo shoots! Flat Bear can do them!
MK: Then I guess Flat Bear will get the treats I give you for pictures.
BC: Err ... maybe I could institute a fifteen percent manager's fee? No! One hundred percent!
MK: Bear ...
BC: Oooooooh! WAND TOY!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG!
MK: Bear?
BC: HIIIIIIII-YAH!
MK: I guess the conversation's over.
BC: I caught it, Momma! Aren't I a bad ass hunter?
MK: So you forgive me for leaving you with The Boy while I was at the Conference?
BC: You left?
MK: You better catch it! The mousie's getting away!
BC: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG! I killed it! I killed it!



The Boy: Yeah, such a bad ass cat! Killing something that's ALREADY dead! I'm SCARED!
BC: Oh. yeah?!?! I'm the shark!!!
The Boy: {running to the door} I'll be outside. {The door slams closed}.
BC: I thought he'd NEVER leave!!! What's HIS problem? You bite a boy just a tiny bit and he gets all put out over it! Good thing, too! Maybe he won't come back this time.


Picture time!!!
  • Pictures from the red carpet and Nose-to-Nose Award Ceremony:

    • Nose-to-Nose Award Finalists:
  • Momma met new friends (unfortunately, I don't have pictures of all the wonderful people and cats I met - I didn't request any pictures with anyone - but I got lucky that someone took these!!!):
  • Momma met old friends (unfortunately, I don't have pictures of all the wonderful people and cats I met - I didn't request any pictures with anyone - but I got lucky that someone took these!!!):
  • Momma's pictures of Myrtle Beach:
        • The swag:


          The original graphic from Icanhascheezburger.com:

          Featured posts of the day:

          47 comments:

          1. Oh Bear, we know all about how embarrassing hoomins can be! But it sounds like your mom had a good time at the conference.

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            Replies
            1. She did! She DARED to have a good time and didn't invite me!!! The punishment must be harsh and swift! ~Bear Cat

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          2. You chose the two favorite-ist toys of ours--the Cat Catcher (mouse) and the nip banana!

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            1. I have a feeling we're in the majority ;) ~Bear Cat

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          3. Bear, I give a Neko Fly to friends who have adopted a new kitty! Your Mama scored a heck of alot of loot!

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            Replies
            1. We did get lucky ... but it only partially compensates for being left home alone. Momma keeps reminding me that I didn't want to go - but that's irrelevant! ~Bear Cat

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          4. Those nip nanners are just the best. It sure was fun to see all the pictures of every one at the conference. Glad you had such a good time with all your new toys Bear. Good pictures of you too.

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          5. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW BEAR WHAT A MOTHER LODE OF GOODIES YOUR MOM CAME HOME WITH AND OH THE MEMORIES MUST BE WONDERFUL TOO.
            TELL MOM WE LOVED HER LITTLE BLACK DRESS ON THE RED CARPET AND CONGRATS. WE KNOW SHE HAD FUN!!
            Hugs madi your bfff and mom

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            Replies
            1. Momma says thank you ... she blushed :) I did get awfully lucky this year ... you know, minus The Boy thing! ~Bear Cat

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          6. All was good Bear, even the local news station ran the headline MK Not Embarrassing BC at BlogPaws! Those nip nanners are just the best!

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            1. She MADE THE NEWS and I wasn't included?!?! ~Bear Cat

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          7. We don't even know where to start there were so many good things to hear about! Toys and more toys!!! Love the nanner. You got so many things to play with and sniff I bet you didn't know where to start either! All in all looks like the conference was a great hit.
            ~Mom Brenda

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            1. We both approve!!! I've never been so tired in my life ;) ~Bear Cat

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          8. Wow, look at all that stuff your momma scored at BlogPaws!!! I also loved seeing all of the pictures. I'm so happy that she had a great time!

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          9. Oooh I love that line graph, but I suspect there may be a typo, and an 'S' missing in the lower line title? Well at least as far as my peep is concerned!
            What brilliant gifts you got, and some lovely photo's of some truly amazing people, friends and bloggers. Alas as ER v0.5's +1 spent most of the time sleeping off late night parties, ER v0.5 struggled to get pics, (the ol' opposable thumb thing) and those she did take got lost when she says the film in the digital camera got exposed at the film shop, so alas I have no evidence to show!
            Purrs, ERin

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            Replies
            1. I got my set from Kim! I would've been really upset had we not taken that picture ... best part of the Conference, hands down! From what I heard, Erin v0.5's +1 was up early managing Palace affairs!

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          10. Looks like your mama had a pawsome good time at BlogPaws and you seemed to score big time on swag. Win-win.

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            Replies
            1. Mostly. I still got left with The Boy for four days ... though he got the raw end of that deal ;) ~Bear Cat

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          11. We loved seeing all the photos from Blog Paws! Your Mama and ours has the same blogging friends:)
            Your Mama's award dress was really beautiful too and she looked beautiful in it!
            Enjoy all your swag, Bear. It should keep you busy for a few days!

            the critters in the cottage xo

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            1. My Momma says thank you! She smiled and then blushed at your comment. She doesn't exactly have much self-esteem ... so thank you for making her day. She really hopes to meet you eventually! ~Bear Cat

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          12. Bear, this was a great post. It was fun to see all the pictures of MK's time at BlogPaws. You should be proud. I think MK represented! She looks wonderful.

            Have fun with all that loot!

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            1. My Momma says thank you ... your comment made her feel happy. She really came through with the goodies this year! ~Bear Cat

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          13. Blog Paws looks like a great time. I live vicariously through others with things like that. (I just want to go back to the UP for good!)
            The swag looks great, too. Who doesn't like free goodies?! Hugs!

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            1. My Momma agrees on the UP! But free catnip is good too :) ~Bear Cat

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          14. Great photos! I wish I had been there to meet your Mama. I would have gone crazy over each kitty I met too. I am jealous that you scored an Ashton's Chicken Emporium glass- very cool.

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            1. I'm trying to collaborate with Ashton on her emporium ... certainly if we put our monies together, we can afford more chickens, right? ~Bear Cat

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          15. Bear, you made out pretty good with all the neat stuff your Momma brought back from BlogPaws. Next year she should take a Flat Bear that's about 6 feet tall, to match the size of your purrsonality!

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            1. Only six feet? I was thinking at least 12. I mean, it's in KC next year, so she doesn't have to take it on an airplane or anything ;) ~Bear Cat

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          16. Bear, even you might have to admit that any embarrassment Momma Kat did of you was well worth it for all the goodies she brought home! :)

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          17. We're so happy that Momma Kat had such a great time at BlogPaws! We hope to get there again one of these years, so we can meet her and flat Bear Cat in person. :)

            For what it's worth, we kind of lose our minds when we meet new cats, too. Just saying. :)

            Hugs!

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            1. I SUPPOSE that makes her a good kitty mom ... she'd love to meet you both! ~Bear Cat

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          18. Hey Bear, Alberto here,
            The female human is still holding back items from that #BlogPaws thing and we can't get i
            Break into her office to get to it. I reminded her that she's a slacker for not getting her BlogPaws report up yet. Oh, and that banana thing? It's the bomb. So far it's the paws up toy winner from all of the Tribe of Five!

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            Replies
            1. Holding back?!?! WHAT?!?! What kind of nonsense is that? My Momma put off the post for quite a while too ... she gets easily overwhelmed. We still owe a post about the issues discussed at the conference ... that's the next beast she has to conquer!

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          19. I really enjoyed reading this again, and the ending really tickles my humour bone, and makes me smile. Bear is one fun tactical and most of all, loveable dude, even if he doesn't quite get it right all the time.
            Purrs, ERin

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          20. Wow! That sure is a lot of swag! Our kitties are giving me the stink eye right now, they are mad that I didn't attend and get them stuff too!

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          21. Yeah, peeps sure can be embarrassing. Sometimes, I think they ACTUALLY TRY to be embarrassing. I mean, surely no one can be that embarrassing just by... like... accident? Can they? MOUSES!

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            1. PS. LOVE how you have The Boy wrapped 'round your little claw like that. He doesn't even realize it, does he. Most peeps don't. But all you had to do was mention your bein' a shark and you had him right where you wanted him - outside - so that you could enjoy your swag with your mom. purrs

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            2. They are rather ... err ... LIMITED intellectually ... and awfully clumsy too. UGH. How do we survive? ~Bear Cat

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          22. Looks like everyone had a great time!

            Purrs xx
            Athena and Marie

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          23. Your momma looked amazing on the red carpet, Bear! If our humans met I bet you'd want her to ask loads of questions about moi (and vice versa!) --Your favorite tortie

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            1. YES!!! Though her ... err ... I mean MY dream is to meet you in catson!! She's a late blooming tortie lover! I'm smart enough to have always known that torties are superior. ~Bear Cat

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