Friday, July 21, 2017

Growing pains

What happened in Ellie's first two weeks with us? The best way to describe it: growing pains. While Bear and Ellie are mostly okay together - every so often, there's a huge hissy/bite-y/whappy paw conflagration. For that reason, and to give the cats a break from each other, we close Ellie in the second bedroom overnight. We're still adjusting, still adapting, still trying to figure out just how this two cat household will work. We have hope!

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

{Momma lets Ellie out of her room in the morning}
MK: Hi, Precious! How's Momma's girl?
EM: {Chirping in meows} Food! FOOD! FOODFOODFOOD!!!
MK: You have a food bowl in your room.
EM: But it doesn't have BEAR'S kibble in it!!!
MK: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You know how he gets.
EM: He eats out of my food bowl ALL DAY!!
BC: What up, Brat?
{Pause}
BC: Your tail ... as ALWAYS. You're such a suck-up.
MK: Bear! Your tail is up most of the ...
BC: {seeing Ellie's food bowl} Oooooooh!! My food is available! Yumyumyumyumyum.
MK: This is ridiculous. First thing in the morning, you go for Ellie's kibble and she goes for yours ... even though you each have full bowls of your own all night.
EM: Uh oh.
BC: WHAT?!?!?! She eats MY food while I'm eating hers??!?! WELL, I NEVER!!!!

MK: Seems fair to me.
BC: No one asked you.
EM: I think it's fair.
BC: You don't count.
EM: I count too! I can count higher than you can!!! And I'm cuter too!!!
MK: So you both prefer the other cat's kibble.
BC: Phht. Surely, you've heard the saying!
EM: Shirley?!? Momma's name is Shirley?
BC: Oh, great. You found the ONE cat that's even dumber than Dumbnuts.
EM: Hahahaha. She DID adopt you after all.
BC: I didn't hear that.
EM: {louder} SHE. DID. ADOPT. YOU. AFTER. ALL.
{Momma snickers}
BC: That wasn't very nice.
EM: You insinuated that I'm dumb first!
BC: WHO ASKED YOU?!?!?
MK: You mentioned a saying?
BC: The kibble is always greener in the other food bowl.

{Pause}
EM: EWWW!
BC: Ummm ... that sounded better in my head.
{Pause}
EM: And yet, you just go on talking ...
BC: Hey!
EM: ... and talking and talking ...
BC: I HATE sharing! So help me, if I ever get a tasty whole chicken, you better keep your paws to yourself!
EM: I promise I won't steal your tasty whole chicken ...

BC: You better believe ...
EM: ... because it will be MY tasty whole chicken in the first place.
BC: You don't have the balls ...
EM: Technically, neither do you.
BC: WHAT?!?!? You just HAD to go there didn't you? It's not polite to remind a "fixed" male of what he lacks.
EM: You?! FIXED?!?! Hahahahahahahahaha.
BC: Wait a ... your claws are crossed behind your back!!!
{Ellie snickers}
BC: You've only lived here for a few weeks and you act like you own ...
EM: I'm not acting. I DO own everything.
BC: Would you let me finish?!?!
EM: You didn't let me finish my wet food treat last night.
BC: What's that have to do with anything?
EM: Chicken and salmon have everything to do with everything.
BC: {sigh} I can't argue with that. 
{Pause}
BC: Wait a ... what are you laying ... MY CATNIP BANANA!

EM: You were too busy complaining about our kibble exchange to get to MY banana first.
BC: RATS! You steal my banana every day! You lay on it JUST SO I can't play with it!
EM: Looks like it's MY banana now.

BC: That's IT. You asked for it ... I'm going to open my can of furry fury whoop-a$$ on you!
{Pause}
BC: MOOMMMMMMMMMmmma! Ellie stole my banana again!

EM: I love your furry fury whoop-a$$. And not just because your a$$ is huge! But you ask MOMMA to intervene instead of fighting your own battles. Although, that furry fury whoop-a$$ isn't nearly as crazy as the one where you talk all tough and then run under the bed when confronted.
BC: I ... YOU ... I HATE YOU!
MK: BEAR!
EM: {to Bear} Because THAT'S something I haven't heard from you before.
BC: Hold on.
{Bear spends time writing furiously}

BC: TADA!!! This list contains everything that's MINE. Just so there's no confusion.




EM: You talk, I possess.
BC: There's a list of what's yours too. You can't say I'm not fair or that you didn't get anything.

MK: You can't do that.
BC: Why not?!?!
MK: Bear, the only things on "her" list are things you don't want. 
BC: OBVIOUSLY. That's just common sense! If I don't want them, then she can have them.
{Pause}
BC: Time for the labeling. Can I have the post-its?

MK: For what?
BC: To mark the things on my list as mine.
EM: Me TOO! Me TOO!
MK: Ellie, what's on your list isn't the only stuff that belongs to you. Just because Bear says something doesn't make it ...
BC: Wait a ... don't touch that! Don't touch that!!! So help me ... AWWWWWWWWWW MAAAN! That was on my list, you know!
MK: Come here, Ellie. 
EM: Meow meow meow meeeeeooow meow.
MK: I love you, Princess.
EM: Meow meow meow! [rough translation: I love you, Momma!]
MK: You're such a talker!
BC: Phht. She never shuts up! 
MK: She's a tiny dancer too. Her kneading looks like marching. It's so adorable.
BC: BARF. Phht. PLUMP dancer. And I don't like sharing you!
MK: Bear, you get your special time with me too. Since Ellie sleeps in her room at night, you get to snuggle with me all night ... and she doesn't.
BC: I get to snuggle with you AND DUMBNUTS, you mean.
MK: Having a sister isn't ALL bad. You get a second food bowl full of different kibble.
BC: Our definitions of "full" vary widely. Hmph. I prefer the extra treats I trick you into giving poor, poor, starving me.
EM: Uh oh.
BC: RATS! I meant the treats you give me to make up for my upset over having to share.
{Pause}
BC: Poor me. Poor, poor me! My life will never be the same.
MK: I already gave you treats this morning.
BC: RATS! 
{Pause as Ellie walks toward the cat tree ... }
BC: I swear! If she touches my cat tree ... wait a ... but ... but ... that's MY cat tree! Don't touch that! Don't touch that! Awwwwww maaaaaaan!!! 
EM: What are you going to do about it, tough guy?!?!
BC: I'm going to ... to ... hmmm ... MOM!!! Tell Ellie to stop touching my cat tree!!! The cat tree is on MY list.

MK: It's a huge cat tree, you can share.
BC: NO! I can't! She has girl cooties!
MK: I have girl cooties!
BC: You're not a girl! You have Momma cooties!
MK: Bear ...
BC: Last night when you tried to catch me to torture me with that toothbrush, I went to my favorite hiding spot where you can't reach me under my cat tree and Ellie was there! SCREWED! I was SCREWED!!!

MK: Bear ...
BC: And the night before, I went to hide under the bed and SHE was there!!!

MK: Yeah. She doesn't want her pill just as much as you don't want your teeth brushed. It's been a little rough the past couple weeks. Her roundworms - then taking you in and treating you as a precaution .. then there was the flea I thought I saw on Ellie and the flea treatment I used on you as a result that caused you to lose your fur in the application area.
BC: I had to go to the vet a second time in THREE DAYS! Just because of my stupid sister!
EM: Aww .. you called me your sister!
BC: STUPID sister. And you had diarrhea all up in MY litter box!
MK: Bear, she couldn't help it. She had to go back to the vet too - and she got a bunch of tests done.
EM: And I have to get a pill twice a day now.
BC: Hahaha. I'm proud when I hear you use all the colorful language I taught you in our first encounters.
MK: YOU taught her those words?
BC: Err ... I meant the words she taught ME!!! Now if you'll excuse me ... I have some post-its to distribute.
MK: Don't you da ...
{Slap!!! as Bear puts a post-it with his name on the love seat}

{Pause}
BC: Hmmm ... love seat ... {Bear scratches on the love seat frantically}. La de do de da la la la la la.


BC: Hold my calls ... I don't want to be disturbed as I work ...
{Ten minutes pass as Bear slaps "his" things with post-its that have his name on them - in the order in which they appear on his list ... except for the love seat that he labeled first}



{Bear starts to walk away ... then turns around to find Ellie eating from his newly post-it-ed food bowl}

BC: HEY!!! Can't you read the sign?!?
EM: Yes. But I don't care. Your food tastes better than mine!
BC: MoooooommmmmmmmmmmmmMMA! DO SOMETHING!!!
MK: No.
BC: RATS! FINE! I have more post-its to distribute anyway!
{Another ten minutes pass as Bear slaps the rest of "his" things with post-its that have his name on them - in the order in which they appear on his list}





BC: PHEW! That was hard work! Time for a na ...
EM: Knock knock.
{Silence}
BC: {looking both ways} Is there someone at the front door?
EM: No. It's a joke.
BC: What's so funny about, "knock knock?"
EM: NO! That's NOT the joke. You're supposed to respond with, "Who's there?"
BC: Why?
EM: BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY THIS JOKE WORKS!
BC: But if you already know what I'm going to say, what's the point?
EM: Let's try this again.
{Pause}
EM: Knock knock.
BC: I'M NOT HOME!
EM: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAARRRR!!! Stop ruining my joke!
BC: How can I ruin something that's not funny?
EM: Just play along!
BC: Last time you said that, I got in trouble!
EM: As if you really need help with that.
BC: {sigh} FINE. Who's there?
EM: You're.
BC: I'm what?
EM: NO!!! You're supposed to say, "You're who?"
BC: How's a cat supposed to know what to say?!?! I can't read minds, you know!
EM: Do it!
BC: You're who?
EM: I'm the mother-meowing bomb ... {gesturing to the banana} and this is my little friend.
{Pause}
EM: You have to put post-its with MY name on the things that are mine! That's only fair!
MK: Ellie, everything here is just as much yours as it is Bear's. There's no need to ...
{Slap!!! as Bear puts a post-it with Ellie's name on The Boy ... and the rest of the items on the list with Ellie's name on it}


{Bear comes out to the family room to find Ellie on "his" cat bed ...}

BC: HEY! That's MY cat bed!!! It had my name on it!!!
EM: I'm not on the cat bed.
BC: OF COURSE YOU ARE!
EM: No. I'm on the post-it with your name on it ... which you put on the cat bed. It's not MY fault the post-it I wanted to sit on is on the cat bed with your name on it.
BC: That actually kind of makes ... no wait a minute ...

{Pause}
BC: That's it! I've HAD it! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG!
{Bear brutally attacks the brown paper on the floor and starts shredding it}

BC: I'm going to KILL you, Ellie! I HATE YOU!!!!! I've had it with all this SHARING nonsense. I've had it with you not leaving me alone! I'm going to tear you into smithereens!
EM: Did I hear my name?

BC: I'm pretending this paper is you. You should probably take that as a warning of what I'm capable of.
EM: It doesn't matter what you're capable of when you don't have the balls to try it.
BC: I ... YOU! ... ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG.
{Bear attacks the paper again}

EM: MEEEEEEEOW.
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! {Bear runs around the family room, up the hall, around the bedroom, and then back down the hall} She's trying to kill me! She's trying to kill me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{Bear stop when he sees Ellie laying on the brown paper he was playing with seconds ago}
BC: I hate you. I REALLY hate you.
EM: Sometimes you make it too easy. 
BC: Prepare to die!
{Bear and Ellie get into a wrestling match over the paper}


EM: Hold it! Hold it! We can SHARE the paper!

BC: Over my dead body!
{Bear and Ellie go back to wrestling over the ownership of the paper}

BC: Wait a ... give me a ... {Bear huffs and puffs, looks around, and notices they are sharing the paper}.

{Pause}
BC: Huh. Sharing isn't so bad!

EM: It really isn't.
BC: Don't get used to it.
EM: You shouldn't either. I'm only SHARING out of the kindness of my heart because I feel sorry for you. If I REALLY wanted the paper all to myself, I'd have it.
BC: I ... YOU ... THAT'S ... THIS IS ... I've never been so insulted!
EM: That's what you said yesterday ... and the day before ... and pretty much every day for the past two weeks. I must get better with age.
BC: Surely, you meant DEADER.
EM: Nope. Better.
BC: {under his breath} We'll see about that.

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53 comments:

  1. Oooh now I thought I saw reconciliation with the Boy, on your list, Bear, as I thought you had 'Litter Boy' listed as yours. Alas then I saw Ellie had 'Dumbnuts' on hers. Anyways, there is a human instruction that says, a problem shared is a problem halved. So I think you can legally have half of Ellie Mae's stuff like her food and her cuddles AND half of everything she takes off you! by my reckoning that makes you up to 3/4 of everything.... Of course Ellie could claim the same of you....
    Purrs. ERin

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    Replies
    1. Err ... I'll trust you on the math, Erin! ~Bear Cat

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    2. If it's wrong it's the peeps fault and we all know how bad they are at math! all those toes and thumbs and still can't figure out the number of meals I need. MOL

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  2. We think there's plenty of things to share, Bear! We know it's hard right now but soon you'll see how much fun it is to have a friend. We promise! Signed, Ringo, Benny, and Lucy

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    Replies
    1. I AM a pretty lucky boy ... I've got TONS of stuff. ~Bear Cat

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  3. I really think that you two will make a great team, Bear and Ellie. I mean, do you know how many tricks you can pull on peeps when you have an accomplice? Trust me, Bear, I use my sister Eddy as an accomplice all the time. And the best part is that then I can blame stuff on her!

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    1. Hmmm ... I'm going to have to think about this ... ~Bear Cat

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  4. Ellie, that's totally your nip nanner. We luff your style!

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  5. Bear, I'm so glad you have taken Ellie Mae under your paw and are showing her how sweet you are!

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  6. Wow, what a long post! What did I get out of it? Ellie Mae is adorable, and Bear Cat is SO MUCH like Patty O'Malley; everything is his, until he says it isn't! That includes me, as he runs Sweetie away if I pet her even a tiny bit! Brat!

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  7. Oh, we LOVE seeing you both on the brown paper. You both do know praise is almost as good as actual things with names on them, right? We're proud of you sharing.

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    Replies
    1. Don't get used to it ;) Joking aside, we're working on it!

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  8. Hey guys! Hope things get smoother with time--this reminds me a lot of Amarula and Frodo but even also Zulu and Frodo who are now best buds--at first Zulu hated Frodo and it took about a month for things to settle --now look at the two of them. AMARULA: BEAR! what are you doing?! Don't you realize that by letting EM keep her water dish you have virtually assured her continued existence!?

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    Replies
    1. HOLY BAT CRAP! You're right, Amarula! I could at least make her drink out of the toilet like a dog! ~Bear Cat

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  9. Hey Bear and Ellie Mae...we have missed reading about your antics.
    Mom cheated on me with a black kitty while she was away...
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    Replies
    1. Hopefully, she realized the folly of her ways ;)

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  10. Bear, Ellie is being pretty fair. It could be much worse. Enjoy. Think of what you could do together! Tag team! ❤🐱

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    Replies
    1. We'll start plotting as soon as he stops BITING me! ~Ellie Mae

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    2. Sounds like you two will eventually will be bestest friends. Just have to get used to each other. After all Bear has been the main guy around there. But Ellie sounds like a very nice young lady.

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    3. I am! And I love my new family! Even Bear! ~Ellie Mae

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  11. For all your protesting Bear, it looks like you are mostly getting along pretty well.

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  12. Bear and Ellie, there is power in numbers. You kitties could rule the household! Actually, you probably already do but you could rule even more! Bear, your lists are so cute. Let Momma know a second nip nanner may be in order.

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    Replies
    1. AT LEAST one more!!! You never know what ideas she might get in the future! ~Bear Cat

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  13. Bear, we think you are going to end up falling in love with your little sister and giving her anything that she wants. As far as the conversation, she gives as good as she gets. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo and Cooper Murphy

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    Replies
    1. She doesn't make domination very easy! ~Bear Cat

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  14. Can't we just all pretend to get along. Oh wait, that wouldn't make a nice post.

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    Replies
    1. Nope. It would be the end of the world if they got along ;)

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  15. The whole sibling concept is a tough pill to swallow, Bear. Just ask Sam. 😇

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  16. Ok Bear, I am the ONLY one who is gonna tell it like it is. Yeah, Ellie Mae is a girl kitty, but I admire your "squatter's rights"...yep, I sure do!! None of this saccharine stuff with me! She is beautiful and all, but.........YOU WERE THERE FIRST!!!! You should get the respect that you deserve!! I think that (for now) the way you have everything divided up is just fine. Yeah, yeah, some people who read this might not like it but too bad!! YOU WERE THERE FIRST!! MOL!!!!! Ellie Mae doesn't own the place just cause she had a hard way to go, you had a hard way to go too! Mancats of the World need to unite!!! Love, Cody catchatwithcarenandcody

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    Replies
    1. At least she's not a woofie!!! I don't know how you manage, Cody! ~Bear Cat

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  17. Bear, you are so sweet to let Ellie have some things ( even if you didn't want them anyway). I recommend Momma get another nip nanna and some calming collars :)

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    1. Yep. She's been using Feliway ... but she should get a whole bunch of nip nanners ... one can never have too many! ~Bear Cat

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  18. Okay, even if it's an anomaly, we love seeing the two of you sharing that brown paper, Bear and Em! :)

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  19. Bear, that was a good idea to put post-its on things that are yours. But isn't everything in the house yours - even Ellie? Maybe you need to put a post-it on her, too! Tee hee hee!

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    Replies
    1. Ummm ... maybe I can put a post-it with your name on it on Ellie? ~Bear Cat

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  20. We wouldn't wanna offur unwanted advice, so just let us know ifin we're oversteppin' and we'll stop and hush. Da nip nanner is pawssibly da worlds bestest cat toy ever. Ya' fur sure need more than one ifin ya' have more than 1 kitty. Sis Lexi and me got along great, but even we could go to whaps over da nana. Somethin' mommy quickly fixed by addin' another. And fur sure, 2 litter boxes. Ours sat side by side fur years, but made all da difference in da world. Special luvvin' time doesn't count ifin you're asleep, and ifin one kitty gets in trouble, da other kitty shouldn't get luvvin' immediately after. Dat builds resentment. Ifin those fotos were taken durin' da scuffle, then, it's nuffin' to worry 'bout. No kitty's ears are flat and no back furs are stickin' straight up, so it's just a little scuffle not a fight. Anyways, we luv seein' da two of ya' together. And no matter how well ya' get along, there's always gonna be a few spats. After all, haven't ya' heard of sibling rivalry? MOL Big hugs fur all.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! We have two litter boxes and I'm working on a second banana. I've been very worried about the scuffles though. My instinct says they're playing (mostly) - neither seems afraid of the other - both start it ... but I feel much better knowing your assessment of the pictures meets my thoughts. It's so hard to know - for the most part, unless there are vocalizations, I let it go. I wish I could make everything perfect for both of them all the time. Thank you for your advice - we admire you all so much and it helps!

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  21. The two of you sound like typical siblings to us!!

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  22. guyz....while R spell iz top notch :) we iz knot two good at math
    but seemz like we see a bear tag a lot mor N an ellie tag ???? may bee
    its de way de blog posted huh ☺☺☺ de top two wrasslin match fotoz R
    awesum; nice cap sure MK ~~~ ☺☺♥♥

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    Replies
    1. Don't worry ... he just THINKS all that is his. In real life? Not so much ;) ~Ellie Mae

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  23. Hmmm..... Bear, you seem to own almost the entire house!

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  24. You guys had a rough couple weeks but I think you're going to be outsmarting your peeps together in no time at all :)

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    Replies
    1. That would actually be a relief at this point!

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  25. Bear, I'm not sure your division of things is quite equal. But I have no fear that Ellie really knows what's what.

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    Replies
    1. If you adjust ownership on body weight ... it's not so unfair ;) ~Ellie Mae

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