Friday, January 5, 2018

A new camera and the "D" word

Since Momma got her new camera, she's been snapping away. This post is chock full of pictures. ENJOY!

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae
The Boy: Momma's fiance

BC: {walking into the room} What's that?

MK: Your new cat tree.
BC: Ummm ... it seems like something's missing ... {Bear looks in the box} ... where's the rest of it?


EM: What's going on?
BC: I'm trying to find the rest of the cat tree!

MK: What do you mean?
BC: Sheesh. THE REST OF THE CAT TREE!
MK: Why would there be more?
BC: Must I spell out EVERYTHING for you?!? 
MK: I guess so.
BC: {sigh} EM ... YOU ... ESS ... TEE ... SPACE ... EYE ... SPACE ...
MK: Oh, for ... I don't LITERALLY need you to spell it out, Bear.
BC: But you said ...
MK: FIGURATIVELY!
BC: This cat tree is kind of short and stumpy. Is its growth is stunted? Did The Boy pee on it? Don't forget to water it. I suppose that's the best course of action for this dud tree!

MK: Bear, it was a gift from someone. 
BC: Dumba$$ Santa strikes again! Our Santa must be mentally challenged. Or maybe he's broken? He's so dumb, he can't dig Rudolph's nose out of his ass even when it's lit. I even put Santa on notice this year!
MK: Threatening Santa may not be the wisest course of action.
BC: I know THAT! That's why I told him that my Momma's going to beat him up if he mucks up again this year! Technically, that means YOU threatened him.

MK: Great. But this cat tree isn't going to grow.
BC: A dwarf? A mutant! {sticking his head in the cat condo} Why would someone give me a chipmunk tree? Heck, if I had my balls, THEY wouldn't fit in this stupid ...

MK: What?!?
BC: If you hadn't noticed ... I won't fit! I have to squeeze myself together to even sit on the perch. 

MK: Well, technically, it's for you AND Ellie.
EM: For ME?!?! That's nice! YAY! Happy Christmas to me! Happy Christmas to me!!!

BC: BARF.
EM: The new year might be time for the "D" word.
BC: Destruction? Count me in! This can be your cat tree. I've had enough of you ripping up the scratching posts of mine.
EM: NO! The OTHER "D" word.
BC: DAMAGE!!!

MK: I find it troubling that the first two "D" words you come up with involve violence and destruction.
BC: HEY! I never violenced or destructed anything that didn't have it coming.
EM: Not damage ...
BC: Defense? I mean, yeah ... this chipmunk tree is a travesty ... but does it warrant us ...
EM: {sigh} The "D" word!
BC: Deliverance? Desertion? Debasement? Debate? Deception? Domestication? Discrimination? Decoration? Dodecaphony? Dodecahedrons? {seeing that Ellie's walking away} What? Where are you going?

EM: There's no point in talking to you when you're like this.
BC: Like what?
EM: Being stupid.
BC: I'm not stupid! You're stupid! I'm just trying to find the rest of our new cat tree. None of this would've happened if Santa wasn't a ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: I didn't do it! I'm just saying that Santa needs a New Year's resolution to be less asinine and moronic. We got one-fourth of a cat tree that I can't sleep on OR in! A shoehorn wouldn't even help!
EM: Have you ever thought that YOU'RE the problem?
BC: No. I didn't gift a chipmunk tree to two large-ish cats.
EM: You could be grateful.
BC: For stupidity?! "Yes! Thank you SO much for being an idiot and ruining my Christmas!" Sheesh. I'm surrounded with dimwits! I really wish one could fix stupid.

EM: Why are you so grumpy?
BC: 2017 SUCKED! I HATE 2017. If there was a yearly survey ... I'd be VERY dissatisfied! I'm so glad it's over. This chipmunk tree is just the cheese on the cracker. I couldn't have imagined just how much my life would suck. It was bad enough being stuck with Momma and HER ... peculiarities ... the doughnuts ... grabby hands ... stupid stunts ... but now I have to put up with the peculiarities of The Boy and you too! And Santa. That's A LOT of peculiarities!
EM: All of us COMBINED couldn't match your level of peculiarities! I mean, you licking my butt pretty much guarantees you win.
BC: I'm thinking that maybe I should make a list of resolutions for all of you. You know, a list of ways to improve for all of you. Hmmm ...
{Pause}
BC: {talking to himself} Starting with Santa ... less dumba$$ ... OH! That's a good one! YES! Another good one! What about ... SCORE! If only I could get them to stop ... and maybe pack Smellie off to a farm ... OH, fahrvergnügen! I'm screwed. {ripping up the lists} You're all irretrievably broken and screwed up! It's time to go to my happy place when I feel inundated by mediocrity and incompetence. I feel a song coming on ...

EM: Speaking of mediocrity ...
BC: {to the tune of "My Favorite Things"}
Torties in crab cakes and yummy wet food treats,
Momma's comfy lap and piles of warm clean sheets,
Pretty sparkle balls and little plastic springs,
These are a few of my favorite things.
{Pause}
BC: Catnip toy micey and the little red dot,
Tasty whole chickens and rubs in just the right spot,
The best of my toys tangled up in strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
{Pause}
BC: When Momma's mean,
Or stupidity's king,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
MK: You act all tough and standoff-ish ... you act like you suffer our foolishness ... but you're really just a big softie. 
BC: I am NOT!
MK: You love us.
BC: I do not!
{Pause}
BC: Wait a ... is the big softie thing a joke about my weight?
MK: No.
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: It makes my heart happy to see you and Ellie getting closer - especially when you almost snuggle.

BC: I hate Smellie.
MK: Oh? My new camera tells a different story.






























BC: I hate your new camera too! It adds ten pounds and makes my butt look huge!
EM: It doesn't just LOOK huge, it IS huge.
MK: You and Ellie just might like each other.
BC: Not if she keeps calling me fat!
EM: The truth hurts.
MK: Come on, Bear ... she's not THAT bad.
BC: Phht. Don't count your chickens before they match.
MK: Excuse me?
BC: Have you ever tried to count chickens? They don't stand still. If you match them up in fives, you can count five times as fast.
MK: And you make my life complete when you jump in my lap and let me cuddle you.
BC: Phht.

MK: I love you, Bear.
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{Pause}
BC: {whispering} I love you too, Momma.

Which picture is your favorite?

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58 comments:

  1. Your mom is definitely enjoying the new camera. Our favs are the ones where you are both lying on the Boy's blankie.

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  2. My favorite picture is both of them on the Boy's blanket. Your new camera takes nice photos.

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    1. That one is our favorite too! Thank you ... Momma's getting used to it (I mean, she's taken 600 pictures ... you'd think that was enough!!!).

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  3. Oh yea, somebody is having some new camera fun! Your tree looks darn good so be nice to Santa!!!

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    1. Momma says adults so rarely get new toys they're excited about ... we can't really begrudge her enthusiasm!

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  4. Bear, we are thinking about getting a HUGE cat tree for Da Boyz...they need lots of territory! I think you look fantastic in these photos!

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    1. I LOVE my big one! Three perches ... two cat condos ... I love to jump and hop all over it! Momma'd never bought one before I showed my need to climb. Eight years ... and it's still holding up! This is the one we have: http://www.catbedandtoy.com/armarkat74inchbeigecattree-A7401 ... though this one is similar: https://www.hayneedle.com/product/gopetclubcattree72in.cfm. Momma never attached the ramps though :)

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  5. Yes, we like the one of The Boy sharing his blanket too. Santa has 11 months to forget your insults, Bear...
    xxoo
    Maggie, Mickey Mouser, and Rufus the Red

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    1. That's our favorite picture too. Err ... Santa's OLD, right? Surely he'll forget ;)

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  6. The new cat tree isn't that small. We bet you'll make the best of it. We can definitely see a difference with your Mamma's new camera. Our favorite is the one of both of you on the blanket at the boy's feet. So cute!

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    1. That's our favorite picture too. Thank you - Momma was starting to think that maybe the new camera was actually worse than the old one - even though it was way more expensive. She doesn't have an eye for photography.

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  7. Isn't sibling rivalry wonderful? Look, they are almost touching in some of those photos! Yeah!

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  8. A chipmunk tree! MOL! That was a good one, BC! Our 2017 was so bad, there wasn't even any cheese on that cracker. But you know what makes that year better? Seeing you and Sme...er... Ellie close together. Go ahead. Call us dumba$$e$, too, but we know we cats have to stick together against the world!

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    1. Awww ... there were blessings ... Teese and Mac. The love you show and project to the world around you. We're so lucky to call you friends :)

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  9. The new camera takes wonderful pictures ! We love to see you two sharing the blanket with The Boy ! Purrs

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  10. What a plush and comfy tree...well done on paper bag deading
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    1. Hehehehe. Momma doesn't even notice that anymore! It looks like a mess!

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  11. guyz...yur new cat tree iz awesum ...N we total lee a greez 2017 sucked werst
    than de vaccuum masheen......faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....hope mom N joyz de new camera
    ...we like de foto oh ewe both N dad; holdin down hiz blankit sew hiz feetz stay warm !!
    ☺☺♥♥

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  12. New cameras are fun....but not always for us kitties!!!

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. No kidding! We like this one better because Momma doesn't have to use the flash as much! Less nap disturbances!

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  13. AMARULA: Don't you worry Bear--you always look wonderful no matter what camera your mom uses! And tell your mom she can rub my belly anytime (only cause she is your mom!)

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    1. Oooh! There ARE perks to being Bear's Mom!!!! Well, you know, other than being in the presence of his glorious Bear-ness!

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  14. I love the picture of you two snuggling at the bottom of your dad's blankie! You're getting pretty cozy together :) And I think your new tree is cute! --Mudpie

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    1. That one is our favorite too! There's not enough room to share the new tree with you, Mudpie ... unless ... hmm ... you lay ON me ;) ~Bear Cat

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  15. We bet you’ll learn to love that new cat tree, Bear. Though honestly, it’s not much of a tree...more of a perch.

    Hey, we don’t think we’ve wished you happy new year yet...so...Happy New Year!

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  16. You and Ellie look really close, Bear. What's up with that? Love that line "Our Santa must be mentally challenged. Or maybe he's broken?" HAH! That looks like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree!

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    1. I'm lulling her into a false sense of security ;) ~Bear Cat

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  17. That was lovely gift, and it does pay to have all different size cat trees, low ones are great for speaking down to small people and big ones for making small people even smaller MOL Oooh I just love how you have the boy pinned down with that blanket... but surely, Bear, didn't you wanted to get rid of him?
    Toodle pips
    ERin

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    1. I'm biding my time until he gets fat and complacent ... then I can easily bump him off! ~Bear Cat

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  18. The camera is doing a good job and I like all of the photos. In the one after the suitcase, is Ellie Mae being so brazen as to sniff your tail? It is good to see how close you get now.

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    1. I didn't even know she was back there! ~Bear Cat

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  19. It does my heart good too to see you two looking almost like pals. My favorite picture is the two of you curled up in the boy's blanket.

    We have a small "tree" too. We call it a perch.

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    1. That is our favorite too! We're working on the pal thing ... mostly. ~Bear Cat

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  20. There are so many good ones, it's difficult to choose! I like the photo where Ellie is smelling Bear's tail. Mom is sure having fun with that new camera, and it's going to be making a liar out of you, Bear, that's for sure!

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    1. The quality of that tail sniffing picture wasn't that great ... but Momma couldn't resist including it because it was so candid and funny :)

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  21. That tree was clearly made for kittens not a muscular mancat like you Bear. I agree with your statements about Santa- especially the Rudolph's nose part :) I love seeing photos of you and Ellie so close together. XO

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  22. Oh gosh, a new camera smells like trouble ...she will probably be following you around ALL DAY. At least that's how it works in our house.

    But seriously, so much cuteness in this post. I really like the one in the suitcase and the ones with you kitties snoozing on the blanket at the human's feet.

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    1. No kidding! We like this one better because Momma doesn't have to use the flash as much! Less nap disturbances ... and easier to ignore. Momma says we're cute too ... why is no one scared?!? ~Bear Cat

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  23. I think all your pictures are lovely, BearCat. You together with Ellie made us smile and the familiar one, with the boy looks very comfy and wind up in momma's arms, that really looks like L.O.V.E. <3 Pawkisses for a wonderful Sunday :) <3

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    1. I suppose it's not so bad around here MOST of the time! ~Bear Cat

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  24. That tree is a little short, but it's nice, Bear and Ellie! Our favorite picture is the last one of two on The Boy's blanket! :)

    Momma Kat, it looks like you're enjoying your new camera. Yay1

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    1. Momma says adults so rarely get new toys they're excited about ... we can't really begrudge her enthusiasm! The picture of the three of us and the blanket is our favorite too!

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  25. That last picture says it all. Happy 2018! 😊

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    1. What?!? Pretending the other doesn't exist?! Pretty much.

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  26. Santa mucked up? MOUSES! You think the Weasel Syndicate might have intercepted your letter? purrs

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    1. This Weasel Syndicate deserves a piece of my mind! You just don't mess with a cat's Christmas! ~Bear Cat

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  27. Oh MeOW we luv all da fotos. Da new camera is great. What kind is it? All your color really shows up well. You Bear, really reminded us of sis Lexi a couple of times. But, we totally see you and luv you fur you. Who got ya'll the small tree? Sorry, but we'd be wonderin' where the rest of it was too. We have somethin' sort of like that but mommy bought it fur me when me was a couple weeks old and just never got rid of it. MOL We would ask one favor tho'. Purrlease....purrlease take the stringy mousy off. Me nearly hanged meself and then we got another tree with one of those and me nearly choked. Those dangly stupid mouseys are nuffin' but trouble. Glad to see ya'll are gettin' along so well. big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Thank you. It's a Nikon D3400 (the cheapest high rated camera ... but it was still $400 which was really out of our price range). The mouse on this tree doesn't come off easily ... I'll have to cut it off. Our first cat tree came with similar dangly things and the instructions said they weren't really for cats - just decoration. How stupid is that?

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  28. Oh I love all the pics, but I guess my purr-sonal favorite would be the one of you, Bear, being cuddled by your momma. I'm glad she is having fun with her new camera. But Bear beware, 'cause it means that the pawparrazzi is now in full mode at your house! Tee hee hee. Purrs!

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    1. There shouldn't be any proof of snuggling! That camera will die a painful death ... just let me at it! ~Bear Cat

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  29. I love all the photos! Your momma is going to have so much fun snapping shots of you! (We have a Nikon as well!)

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