Tuesday, June 13, 2017

I'm the sea mammal

MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat

MK: Bye, Bear.
BC: Wait, wait, wait!!! Who will pet me while you're not home?


MK: Awwww.
{Momma gives Bear ear rubs}
MK: I love you, Bear. I always have time to show you how much ...
{CHOMP!!! - Bear bites Momma}

MK: Son of a ... OWWWWWW!
BC: I'm the shark, Momma!
The Boy: FINALLY! It's about time he played, "I'm the shark," with YOU!
BC: Naaaah NAH. Naaaah NAH. N-AH N-AH N-AH ...
The Boy: Ummmm ... {running for the front door} I'LL BE WAITING OUTSIDE!
{The front door slams shut}
BC: SHEESH! You bite a boy just a tiny bit and he gets all put out over it! What's his problem?

MK: Maybe he just doesn't like playing, "I'm the sea mammal."
BC: Where are you going anyway?
MK: PetSmart.
BC: Wait a ... you ARE taking The Boy back, right?
MK: Well, I don't know about, "back." I mean he didn't go with me last time. But, yeah. Why would he stay home?
BC: Ooooooh! Happy day! Happy day! BYE! The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll get home! Me and you! You and me!
So happy to-GETH-er! Together for-EV-er!

BC: {To the tune of, "Happy," from Pharrell Williams}
It might seem crazy what I'm about to say.
Sunshine she's here, you can take a break.
I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space.
I am Bear, and I don't care, Momma, by the way.
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you feel like a room without a roof.
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you feel like happiness is the truth.
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you know what happiness is to you.
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.
MK: Bye, Bear.
BC: How RUDE! I was in the middle of my song! You don't just get up in the middle of a performance, do you? Talk about no resp ...
{The front door closes}
BC: RATS! Where's that sheet of paper I used to write down all the bad words and phrases Momma says?!?! I could use the whole list! HOW RUDE!
{Pause}
BC: She IS taking him back though ...
{Pause}
BC: {To the tune of, "Happy," by Pharrell Williams}
Here comes The Boy, talking this and that. (Yeah!)
He gives me all he's got, doesn't hold back. (Yeah!)
Well, I should probably warn him, I'll be just fine. (Yeah!)
No offense to him, he wastes his time, here's why ...
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you feel like a room without a roof.
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you feel like happiness is the truth.
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you know what happiness is to you.
(Because I'm happy)
Paw along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.
Bring me down,
Can't no boy bring me down.
My level's too high to bring me down.
Can't no boy bring me down, I said ...
Bring me down,
Can't no boy bring me down.
My level's too high to bring me down.
Can't no boy bring me down, I said ...
{Pause}
BC: Wait a ... THEY'RE GONE!!! I'M ALONE WITH THE BLOGPAWS SWAG!!! I can explore the swag, check out what Momma's hiding in there, AND get out my new favorite wand toy!
{Pause}
BC: WHAT IF THERE ARE TASTY WHOLE CHICKENS in one of those bags?!?!?
{Bear jumps on the coffee table the swag is stacked on ... noses around a bit ...}

{Bear looks one way ... then looks the other way ... }

BC: Yep. No one's here to see a thing! Hehehehehehehe.

{Pause}
BC: Time to get to work! CAT-A-BUNGA!

{Pause}
BC: First order of business ... now where did Momma hide my new wand toy?

{Pause}
BC: {to the tune of, "Heigh-Ho," sung by the seven dwarfs in Snow White}
Heigh Ho Heigh Ho, It's Off To Work I Go!!
I dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, 
In the bags the whole day through,
To dig for treats and toys and fun,
This is what I must do.
It ain't no trick to get rich quick,
If you dig dig dig let your nose and paw pick,
In this bag! In that bag! In any bag!
Prizes to be found in my swag!
{Pause}
BC: AHA! My wand toy!!! Now how am I going to get this out of the bag?!?!

{Pause}
{Bear bats the packaged wand toy around}
BC: I have a ... hehehehehehe ... this is totally going to work!!! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!
{Fast forward to the time Momma walks in the front door}
BC: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! There are way too many things wrong with this picture!
MK: What?
BC: You exchanged The Boy for a black cat!!!
MK: What?
BC: You have black fur all over you! {GASP} You cheated on me!!!! And you're bringing the trollop here!
MK: Bear ...
BC: I can't believe you exchanged The Boy for a cat! I was so glad you were finally getting rid of him ... and you think another CAT is better!
MK: Wait ... I didn't bring home a cat! And The Boy is outside moving his car!
BC: You said you were returning The Boy to PetSmart!
MK: No, I didn't! You asked if he was coming with me.
BC: I asked you if you were taking him back!
MK: Ooooooh. He didn't come from PetSmart!
BC: That's debatable. Though I suppose him coming from a smelly rear end is more likely!
MK: BEAR! Be nic ...
BC: {narrowing his eyes} Then why are you covered in black fur?!?!
MK: We went to PetSmart for their, "All About Cats," day and I saw a black cat that really wanted to be petted. Of all the rescue cats in the glassed in kennels, she and I saw something in each other. It's like we already knew each other.
BC: Oh, NONONONONONONONO. HEEEEEEEEELLLLL NO! You told people that's what happened between you and I! First, I have to put up and share you with dumbnuts ... and now you want to get another cat?
MK: The cat is a she!
BC: I DON'T ... oooooh.
{Pause}
BC: Hmmmm.
{Pause}
BC: NO!!!
MK: BEAR! Where did this mess come from?
BC: The Boy did it!
MK: Not likely, Bear. He was with me.
BC: THE WAND TOY STARTED IT!
MK: A wand toy IN THE PACKAGE, buried under a bunch of other stuff in a bag started it?
BC: It was mocking me! I can't tolerate that kind of disrespect! What if my other toys get IDEAS?!
MK: Bear, you know you're not allowed to play with wand toys when I'm not home.
BC: It's not MY fault you weren't home!
MK: I've got to get pictures of this!
BC: Phht. Like you've never seen a mess before!




MK: So why are the stuffed puppies on the floor?
BC: Phht. They were guarding the miscreant. OBVIOUSLY. I had to open my can of furry fury whoop-@$$ on them.
MK: I don't feel so bad for cuddling another kitty after this mess you made while I was gone.
BC: Wait, wait, wait wait wait! CUDDLING?!?! I thought you just PETTED IT! But you CUDDLED it?!?!?
The Boy: {walking in the front door} Did you tell him about Ellie?
BC: WHAT?!?!? Who's Ellie?!?!
{Pause}
BC: {GASP} You petted that black cat too! I see the fur all over your shirt too!!!
The Boy: You don't even LIKE me!
BC: So?!?
MK: You were begging me to return him just a few minutes ago!
The Boy: So what if I held another kitty?
BC: HELD HER?!?!?! You're MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!! You're MY sea mammal!
The Boy: Your Momma held her for even longer than I did.
MK: Uh oh.
BC: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
MK: {changing the subject} LOOK! I got you samples of food at PetSmart as part of their, "All About Cats," day.

BC: WHAT?!?! Did you say, "FOOD?!?!"
The Boy: Don't get too excited, Bear. MOST of it is pate.
BC: WHAT?!?!
MK: {to The Boy} You're doing that on purpose!
The Boy: Better you than me!
MK: Thanks.
{Pause}
MK: {to Bear} There wasn't another choice in those sample items!
The Boy: I'm hungry.
BC: You're welcome to have the, "there wasn't another choice in those sample items," pate! The Boy: No, thank you. I'm starving.
BC: Now you understand how I am ALL the time! Momma's trying to starve us!
MK: {from the kitchen} Want the leftover chicken?
{The Boy and Bear say, "YES!!!!" at the same time}
{Ten minutes pass until the chicken is ready}
The Boy: Thank you, honey.
MK: You're ...
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

MK: Bear, stop pestering him.
BC: But I want chicken!
The Boy: I'm the only one that shares food with you. You could try to like me.
BC: I DO try to like you! It's not my fault that I can't! And besides, I offered you some of my food!
The Boy: {sigh} Good enough. Here. You should remember this next time you feel like hissing at me.
BC: Who needs a Momma around here?
The Boy: Hahahahahaha.
{Momma walks down the hall and shuts the door}
{Bear runs after her}
The Boy: TRAITOR!
BC: Momma! Momma! Let me in!
MK: NO!
BC: But, but ... you have tasty whole chickens in there!!
MK: Tough.
BC: It's so unfair! Please?!?!? I'm stuck out here with ... {whispering} him! And he's looking at me funny!
The Boy: HEY! I just shared my dinner with you!
{Pause}
BC: No. Wait. That's just his normal face!
The Boy: That didn't take long.
BC: MoooooooooommmmmmMMMMA! LET ME IN! LET ME IN!!! It's an EMERGENCY!
The Boy: Come snuggle with me, Bear.
BC: Hmmm.
The Boy: Can't decide between your Momma and me?
BC: Phht. I was just trying to figure out how much of a challenge I wanted.
The Boy: What do you mean?
MK: {to The Boy} Better you than me! RUN!!!!
The Boy: What?!?!
BC: I'm the shark!
The Boy: Uh oh.
{The Boy runs}
The Boy: {as he runs} I don't get it! What about the challenge?
BC: {as he runs} I was deciding the distance from you at which I'd announce, "I'm the shark." The greater the distance, the greater the challenge to catch you.
The Boy: {as he runs} So much for being random attacks. You're saying this is all premeditated?
BC: {as he runs} Hahahaha. Yeah, if you pre-medicate, that might save your limbs.
The Boy: {as he runs} No! Pre-medi ... oh, never mind.

This post was not sponsored by, or affiliated in any way with, PetSmart. I shared the PetSmart, "All About Cats," day because I appreciate that PetSmart celebrated our wonderful felines. As many cat bloggers know, people tend to spend less money on their cats - and it's reflected in what the majority of pet supply stores stock; we hope a day celebrating our amazing kitties is just the beginning of a change in the way people see, value, and care for their cats.

Featured posts of the day:

56 comments:

  1. Bear, we were so happy to get another concert from you! You are quite the musical star. Also, did you know that Evan used to be a shark, too? I met him when he was a semi-feral kitten (not that you're any semblance of feral, sweet Bear!), and he took his shark attack roles very seriously. Now, run, Boy, run!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Hahahaha. I was homeless until my Momma found me. Maybe us boy cats weren't quite done sowing our wild oats?! ;) ~Bear Cat

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  2. Of course the wand toy started it. They do that, they are notorious! Ps: we luffed the concert.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Yes, humans are so clueless about the menace they call wand toys! Good thing they have us to watch them! ~Bear Cat

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  3. Bear, maybe you should keep your teefs OFF of the humans?

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  4. Hiya Bear...How are you today? Looks like you had an outer body experience forgetting not to gnaw on humans. MOL it happens to all of us.
    ::Blushing and smiling:: over you comment on my tail. I'm quite proud of it. I walk around with it like this ? 24/7
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    Replies
    1. If I had your tail, I'd walk like that too!!! What fun are humans if you can't gnaw on them? ~Bear Cat

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  5. Wand toys can get out of hand (paw?) sometimes. Now we're tapping our toes to "Happy"

    The Florida Furkids

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  6. My wand toy is missing too Bear, coincidence? I think not!

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm. I'd check with a cat that shall remain nameless but starts with "SIM" and ends with "ON." ;)

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  7. Thanks Bear for all those great serenades. Good job getting the wand toy all out of the bag. Sure looks like you are enjoying life. Have a good day.

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  8. I'm glad your momma (and the Boy) were able to go to the special PetSmart day. I wish I could've gone to one but I was traveling back. But how dare she met and cuddle with another cat! But...what if it had been a tortie? Would that have been acceptable?

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    Replies
    1. Wait wait wait!!! A TORTIE?!?!? I'm putting that on Momma's shopping list for this week! ~Bear Cat

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  9. Wonderful songs, Bear ! Good job with the wand toy ! Purrs

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  10. Bear, dood. Whatta set of PIPES you got! Serious paws up!

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  11. Cuddling another kitty? Oh the shame of it all.

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    Replies
    1. And she didn't even TRY to cover it up either!!! ~Bear Cat

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  12. Bear, what I want to know is how do they know the wand toy didn't start it? They weren't there! I sure hope our PetSmart has an All About Cats day. Those are some good freebies!

    I hope you have fun with all the BlogPaws swag!

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    Replies
    1. They blame me for everything! But did they thank me for the All about cats day? NO! I had to convince PetSmart to get them out of the house!!! ~Bear Cat

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  13. Hey Bear,
    Alberto here, love your songs and I have to say, I like your shopping bag purrrusal style. I too like to destroy plastic first and then give a cursory glance to the toys the humans bring us. It's quite entertaining!
    Purrs & Head Bonks

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    Replies
    1. Plastic attacked me once ... so I only approach it with an abundance of caution. Thank you! ~Bear Cat

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  14. You've had a very interesting day! We haven't had the All About Cats Day at our local PetSmart yet.

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    Replies
    1. We got lucky! Usually ours doesn't participate.

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  15. Well, cuddling another kitty should be against the law!

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    Replies
    1. How would one propose that as a federal law? ~Bear Cat

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  16. AMARULA: Love your songs Bear! Sing my sweet songbird Sing!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you :) Though I know what you do to songbirds ... ~Bear Cat

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  17. That was quite a concert! George likes to help himself to toys, too. Well, so does Chloe Jo. xo

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! We cats just like to be the masters of our domain! ~Bear Cat

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  18. I like your version of the song much better. I can't stand the original. I think the shark game sounds like lots of fun :)

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    Replies
    1. The song is addictive and annoying at the same time. Glad you liked my version :) ~Bear Cat

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  19. Always blame it on the wand toy, Bear...or those sneaky stuffed puppies. They look guilty in our opinion. :)

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  20. Paisley loves that wand toy from BlogPaws too, Bear! She drags it around the house when there's no one to play with her.

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    Replies
    1. YES! Bear does too! It's adorable. Bear will sit there and meow at it too!

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  21. Excellent, you are clearly a master of tactical planning and gamesmanship! Keep 'em guessing is what I say, and in my game that seems quite fair. I tried to premedicate my peep alas peep just fell asleep, and not even I can raise that much flubber from the bed for a game of tag. MOL
    Purrs ERin
    PS About this Ellie, does she come with a selection of toys, food, and nip?

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    Replies
    1. Brilliant question! Because I'm NOT sharing! ~Bear Cat

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  22. dood....furst; we hope ta cod noe bass terd chckn oh any kind waz in yur momz swag bagz
    tastee hole; fried half, a dee ceezed three quarterz..........ugh....

    P} awesum job on gettin de goodz outta de package

    thurd: the boy feerz ewe ...ya noe !!!! keep up de grate werk ~~~~ ☺☺♥♥

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    Replies
    1. You're right. Tasty whole chickens only belong in our food bowls ;) ~Bear Cat

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  23. I'm thinking my brother Frank and Bear might be related somehow. Cuzzins! Both tabbies. Both play I'm the Shark. Both photography purrfectly.

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  24. A whole kitty event? MeOW Wish we had one of those. Altho' we don't like pate either, so we purrobably wouldn't have enjoyed it too much. As fur pettin' da kitties, maybe we could'a had a play date. Dat sounds like fun. Bear, ya' know, sometimes havin' a sisfur can be fun. You fur sure could'a blamed da mess on her. MOL big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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  25. You were left alone with BlogPaws swag AND a wand toy?? What were you supposed to do - ignore those lovelies and pretend you didn't know they were there. You are a cat - it's your duty to explore, hunt, and do what you want.

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  26. I love whole chickens, too, but I didn't find any in my swag bag. Did you Bear? I think our Moms ate them all up! That sounds like something they'd do. You'll love the Temptations treats your momma brought home from Petsmart. I find them delicious, though come to think of it, Mom hasn't bought me some in a long while. I've instructed her to go the pet store today! I love your songs Bear! I was singing along with you... "Paw along if you feel...dah dah dah da da..." I think you have a potential series: 'Shark Bear & the Sea Mammal!' Head rubs!

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  27. Bear, did you miss your calling as a songwriter and performer?

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    1. Probably! It's never too late, right? Especially if I can earn enough money to retire on a tasty whole chicken farm :) ~Bear Cat

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  28. Oh Bear, your songs are just the bestest. You need to record an album and go on tour!

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    1. Only if you're the president of my fan club AND roadie extraordinaire! ~Bear Cat

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