Tuesday, August 22, 2017

We didn't do it, part 2 [interpretation]

We've shared several posts about how adding one cat to our household increased the drama exponentially (Always something, Always something, part 2, and Always something, part 3). Now we have TWO cats who are completely innocent and perfect angels. No kitty does ANYTHING he/she shouldn't do. Last Friday, we shared pictures {We didn't do it, part 1 [pictures]} documenting the times I walk into a room and see Ellie and Bear together and I wonder what they're up to. Today's post is the first set of interpretations of those pictures {because of length concerns, I'll post the remainder of the dialogue this Friday}. What do you think? Am I better off not knowing what exactly is going on?!?!

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat

{Momma opens the door to Ellie's room first thing in the morning to let her out}
EM: {running toward Bear's food bowl} FOOD!
BC: HEY! That's MY kibble bowl and MY wet food treat!
EM: You didn't eat all of it!
BC: I'm saving it for later.

EM: No, you're not. It's been out all night. Momma will pick it up after she scoops our litter boxes.
BC: FINE! {running into Ellie's room} Turn around is ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS! You ate all of yours. Hmph. At least you have kibble left, Miss Piggy. OINK OINK!
EM: Whatever FATSO! Eat the entire bowl. I don't care. I prefer yours.

BC: HEY! MY bowl!
EM: Momma said we share.
BC: SO!?!? She also says I'm grounded well into my ninth life but it doesn't stop me from doing whatever I want to do.
{Both cats chow down on the others' food bowl}
EM: {walking toward Bear} That reminds me ... what are we going to do today?
BC: WHAT WE DO EVERY DAY!!!
EM: Nap?

BC: NO!
{Pause}
BC: I mean ... YES! But that's not what I was referring ...
EM: Follow Momma around to document all the stupid things she does? 

BC: NO!
{Pause}
BC: RATS! YES! But ...
EM: Ignore The Boy?

BC: Will you just let me ...
EM: Break stuff?
BC: NO! ... YES!!! RATS!
EM: Eat tasty food?

BC: Tasty is a bit of a stretch ... wait a ... you're confusing the issue! You still haven't let me ...
EM: Battle aliens? Wrangle tasty whole chickens? Beg for food? Look cute? Play with our toys? Avoid grabby hands? Try to hide your toothbrush?

BC: HOLY CAT CRAP ON A COUNTER! We're REALLY busy every day! I never realized how much work we do! No wonder we sleep eighteen hours a day! We should get overtime! Ellie? EL ...

EM: TAIL!!! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BC: HEY! Leave my tail alone!
EM: {whapping Bear's tail with her paw} Got it! No wait! Lost it! Got it!!! I GOT IT!!

BC: Would you just KNOCK it off? Why ask what we'll do today? Yesterday we never got past you batting at my tail. ALL. DAY. LONG.

EM: It never gets old!
BC: {sigh} KIDS these days!

EM: TAIL!!!
BC: Leave my tail alone!
EM: Then stop licking my butt! Momma says you're a dirty old man!
BC: I'm not DIRTY. I'll have you know I groom myself METICULOUSLY. She's the one that uses a water litter box and takes "showers" instead of properly grooming herself.
EM: I don't think that's what she meant.
BC: Why not just leave my tail alone?
EM: Your tail is so long and strong! You're such a big manly man.
{Momma snickers}
BC: {with suspicion in his voice} Are you calling me fat again?
EM: No! I meant muscled and bad-ass.
BC: Hmph. You noticed that too? I've been working out. Since Momma moved my food bowl to the other side of the house, now I have to walk pretty far to my food bowl ... I feel the burn in my thighs.
EM: You're my hero!
BC: Thank you for ...
{Ellie snickers}
BC: NUTS! You're mocking me! I don't take that kind of disrespect from kitchen appliances, furniture, my toys or anything else for that matter. It's time to play soft ball.

EM: Soft ball?
BC: Whatever's necessary to make you leave my tail alone.
EM: I think you meant HARD ball.
BC: That's what I said.
EM: No, it's not.
BC: Yes, it is.
EM: Un uh.
BC: Uh huh! Who cares about what kind of ball it is?!? Phht. You think that just because you're an expert on balls, you're better than me!
EM: No. I think I'm better than you because you're stupid.
BC: YOU'RE stupid!
{Pause}
BC: Mommmmmmmmmmma! Ellie's looking at me funny! Oh wait, no, that's her face!

MK: BEAR CAT KAT!
BC: I've had it! I'm drawing a line. Ellie, you stay on that side of the line and I'll stay on this side of the line.
EM: COOL!
BC: Cool?
EM: Both food bowls are on my side! AND my catnip banana!

BC: NUTS! MY banana! 
EM: {laying on the catnip banana} It DEFINITELY looks like it's mine!

BC: Oh, FINE! Just keep your paws on YOUR side!
EM: {moving over a couple feet} Is this your side?
BC: YES! Get on YOUR side!
EM: {moving closer to Bear} Is THIS your side?

BC: I'm warning you ... for the LAST time! GET OFF MY SIDE! I'm going to really make you pay!
{Pause}
BC: Momma! She's on my side!
{Pause}
BC: I'm going to my window!
EM: Where is it?!?
BC: In the bed ... wait a ...
EM: Is that where you disappear for a couple hours every day?!?!
BC: RATS! RATS! RATS!

EM: I think that's on my side too. Thank you for playing ... better luck next time.


*** LATER THAT DAY ***
BC: Did you see what Momma did earlier?
EM: I almost feel sorry for her.

BC: Hahahahaha. She's "special!" Being that stupid must be painful. Plus, I don't think her butt could get any bigger!
EM: Did you see how many doughnuts she brought home yesterday?
BC: Uh oh. I spoke too soon!
EM: Why can't she have an addiction to bacon?
BC: Or french fries?
EM: That would ROCK!
BC: The only good thing about The Boy is that he likes bacon and sneaks us tasty noms.

EM: I like sitting in his lap! It's the BESTEST lap EVER!
BC: BARF!
EM: Hey! Don't knock it until you try it!
BC: No thanks, I'll just ....
EM: The Boy said ...
BC: SHUT UP!
EM: ... you climbed in his lap while Momma was at the Conference.
BC: He promised he wouldn't tell ... that's the ONLY reason I did!
EM: He said ...
BC: And you believe HIM over me?
EM: Ummm ... YEAH! He also said he woke Momma up this morning to show her that you were snuggling with him.
BC: I wasn't SNUGGLING! I just let him pet me!
EM: Purring up a storm?!?
BC: HEY! I laid on Momma for TWO HOURS trying to get her to pet me, but she wouldn't wake up! Can you blame a guy for taking what he can get?
EM: That's not what ...
BC: SHHHHH!
{Bear runs to the cat tree corner and hops in the lowest cat condo, while Ellie chases him and then sits on the floor nearby}
EM: Don't SHHH me! I'll say what I want when I ...
BC: MOMMA'S COMING, Dumbo!
EM: Here she comes! Here she comes!

{Two cats giggle}

BC: Be cool! Be cool!
EM: I'm a black cat! I'm ALWAYS cool!

BC: Don't rub it in.
{Bear and Ellie say, "HIIIIIIIIIIIII," at the same time ...} 
MK: What are you two up to?
{Two cats giggle}
BC: None of your ...
EM: HE DID IT!!
BC: Don't listen to her.
EM: Don't listen to him!
MK: Bear, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen you in that cat condo. What are you up to?
BC: Is that a trick question?
EM: He did it! 
BC: STOP SAYING THAT!!!
EM: I'm not scared. What are you going to do about it? 
BC: You SHOULD be scared. MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA! Ellie keeps trying to get me in trouble!
MK: Bear, you need absolutely ZERO help with that. You got in the same amount of trouble when it was just you.
BC: Hmph. BITE ME!
EM: I thought you'd never ask!
{Ellie chases Bear out of the corner and tries to bite him}
BC: HEY!

{Ellie attacks Bear}
EM: ARRRRRRRG!
BC: That's it! Now you're going to get it!
EM: I dare you!

{The cats tumble around ... wrestling}

MK: Would either of you happen to know what happened to the bag of cat treats?
{The cats keep wrestling}

MK: TREATS!!!
{The cats suddenly stop}
BC: WHERE?!?!

MK: That's what I asked.
BC: You LOST our treats?!?! How do you "lose" treats? Maybe they're the same place as your marbles!
EM: He's got a point!
MK: I think I had help "losing" them.
BC: Why would you need help losing them? You're perfectly capable of being a loser on your own!

MK: {sigh} I found the treat bag in the middle of the floor, but it was empty.
EM: As I said before, he did it! Or wait ... he didn't do it ... since he was too lazy to dispose of the evidence.
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: So he stole the treats?
EM: Look at him! Can't you tell?

BC: HEY!!!

What really happened to the treats?!? Want to read the rest of my interpretations of the pictures of Bear and Ellie together? Come back on Friday!

Featured posts:

60 comments:

  1. Oh boy you two really know how to spin a yarn, and circles around each other.

    Brilliant Ellie May!!!! OK Bear you are brilliant too!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we ALMOST feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  2. Hehehehe you guys really have it made. Not only can you play with each other, but you can play with your peeps too! Thats two peeps times two cats playing with each other and playing off each other, times two again for against each other.. Hmmm I can't quite figure that but it's LOADS of fun!
    Purrrs
    ERin

    PS Ellie, if you play with something too long it will fall off! Just saying as Bear may get upset if he turns Manx!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we *** ALMOST *** feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae
      "if you play with something too long it will fall off" Ummm ... I'll just keep my man bits to myself ... ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  3. Oh your mom really doesn't want to know!! It's good to see you two playing with each other.

    ReplyDelete
  4. We hope more drama will soon turn into more fun and antics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we *** ALMOST *** feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  5. You guys are just too funny! So THAT's what cats do all day. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep. Sometimes, we ALMOST feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  6. Bear, why do you have a bare patch on your belly?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. {sigh} I over-groom my belly. I've done that for years ... the vet says it's not that bad. Momma's tried everything ... Feliway, playing every day, extra attention ... and none of it makes a difference.

      Delete
  7. Take it from me, the guy with 8 sibs, you two are really purrfect together, and quite entertaining too, at least for us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  8. Oh Bear and Ellie Mae you are a laugh a minute for sure.
    Thanks for your very very sweet comment today and inquiry about my health...which is good...tomorrow's post will be an update on how things are going...since the miracle cortisone shot
    Hugs madi your bfff

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh Bear! I just love that last photo of you looking innocent! AMARULA: I love that photo of you too because your belleh looks delicious! Love that bare patch! Let's rub bellehs sometime!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dream of rubbing bellies with you, Amarula ... hmm ... what was I saying?!? ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  10. You two make all of us giggle too. Glad you are getting along with each other, sort of. The pictures are just terrific. You two continue to be GOOD.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we ALMOST feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  11. ellie; for a brief minute I thought you actually had a crush of sorts on bear
    and I was sooooooooooo ready to say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO; okay sure
    bear is manly and handsome and all but its all like well you know.....hugs from
    dai$y =^..*= ♥♥☺☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crush?!? On BEAR?!? Hahahahahahahaha. I crush something of his all right ... ~Ellie Mae

      Delete
  12. Hmmm...it seems to us that these two are a bad influence on each other!! The humans don't stand a chance against this Double Trouble. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  13. Bear, that is definitely the face of a guilty cat trying hard to look innocent! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo and Cooper Murphy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I AM innocent! I swear! Err ... mostly. ~Bear Cat
      He is not. ~Ellie Mae

      Delete
  14. OMC you two kill me!! And...........you made me hungry for donuts which are the LAST thing I need with my rotund body!!! (and this is the MOM talking!!) catchatwithcarenandcody

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The more doughnuts you eat ... the more you look like one ;) I LOVE them ... along with everything else bad for me!

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Sometimes, we ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  16. Bear, I can tell you from experience, you never gonna win when it comes to taking on girls. Hrumph!
    Your fur-iend,
    Sam🐾

    ReplyDelete
  17. Good to see you two getting along so well. :) Your Momma needs to get another catnip banana. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's gonna need A LOT more than a catnip banana when we're done with her!

      Delete
  18. You two seem like pals to me. Pals like to give each other a hard time sometimes. Plus, think how much you can accomplish together. Momma and the boy wouldn't stand a chance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ain't THAT the truth! Heck ... Bear managed them both on his own!

      Delete
  19. You two are just like kids...pretty soon you're gonna be ganging up on the humans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for Momma! ~Bear and Ellie Mae

      Delete
  20. Whoa! Bear, you really molded her in your image only she does it better. GASP!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to up my game. I mean, if it were you that out-classed me CK, that'd be one thing ... but Ellie?!?! That little ball of fluff?!?! Oh nonononono. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  21. You two look great together!

    And Bear, I love that look in your eyes on the last photo :)

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hey Momma Kat, Bear & Ellie, it looks rather cozy there and mew certainly made us MOL, your dialogue is hilarious, can't wait fur part deux on Friday!


    Big hugs

    Basil & Co xox

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think it's best that you don't know the whole story of what happens when you're gone Momma Kat. We kitties have to have some secretive fun! That's all you need to know! Bear you might want to check out that cat tree house more frequently, 'cause Ellie might be using it as a place to stash your whole chickens!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I never go in them! You're right! If there are chickens in there, someone's going to pay! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  24. Glad things are going well. We've interpreted da fotos, and all is well. However, and this is BIG, even if you had a full bag of their favorite treats, they should NEVER be offered as a way to break up any kind of spat. Even ifin it's just play. 'Member, treats are special to be given fur good behavior, as they will reinfurce the behavior just prior to their offering. 'Stead, you should use a toy of some kind, wand toys, interactive toys, catnip or catnip mats, etc.. Once da kitties have averted their attention and moved on to play or whatever, then you can give treats and/or luvvin' at will. Always 'member, you want to reinfurce good behavior, not bad. We also really think Ellie should be out at all times. This will also help to put a stop to the squabbles and spats. But da truth is, based on da fotos, you don't have any real troubles. You have 2 kitties peacefully coexisting. There will almost always be a few spats fur like ever. MOL anyways, big hugs fur all.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. That's reassuring. The treats in this case were stolen ... not given. But you are right. I have done that in the past. It's so easy to think you're doing the right thing ... and then so much harder to straighten out again!

      Delete
  25. Breaking stuff is always fun! You know what's also fun ...if your humans leave a glass of water next the bed like my humans do, wait until they are sleep and then knock it right off the bedside table. You get the double impact of water spilling and glass breaking.

    You are welcome.

    XOXO, Rosie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Momma never leaves ANYTHING out unattended. #shelearned ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  26. We love that there are two of us, so neither gets blamed for any damage that may occur.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I thought the black cats were always the innocent ones...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Dear Mr Bear Cat and Ms Ellie Mae, I do not have such wonderful conversations with my cat siblings Kozmo and Jo Jo yet. They kind of scare me and I must growl and hiss at them in case they want to eat me. I am sure the horrible beast Cinnamon does want to eat me, though lately, I have been watching and she does not come near me, as a mater of fact...I could be furniture for all she cares. I am still chomping my Mommy when I get excited, but I thought I should let her heal as she has been quite whiny.
    Thank you for sharing your conversations...now I have an idea of what I can do with my siblings!
    Purrs
    Marvelous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's okay, Marv. I still chomp my Momma all the time. She knows I do it because I love her (or something like that!). Siblings can be okay ... but we know you're up to the job of walking in Nellie's paw prints. Those are some huge prints to follow ... across many hearts ... but you can do it, Marv.

      Delete
  29. TAIL! :-) None of our cats have such a fascination with another one's tail. Bear's tail must be super special. And yes, Ellie Mae, you are always a cool cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma always shakes her head. We've heard about that fascination in kittens, but never grown cats! If the rescue didn't say so (they fostered Ellie's litter as kittens 6 years ago), we wouldn't believe she's 6!

      Delete
  30. You two certainly run rings around your momma!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, we ***almost*** feel sorry for her ;)

      Delete