Tuesday, May 9, 2017

I did

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

The Boy: {groaning}.
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

The Boy: Bear, what are you ...
BC: Look at me! Look at me! Aren't I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandsome?!?
The Boy: Bear ...
BC: That was a RHETORICAL question. That means no answer was required.

The Boy: What are you ...
BC: R ... H ... E ... T ...
The Boy: BEAR! I know what rhetorical means AND how to spell it!
BC: Well, aren't YOU Mr. Smarty-Pants! And yet you can't figure out the correct way to use the toaster!
The Boy: Bear ...
BC: Aren't you going to pet me?
The Boy: Right now?
BC: Do I need to make an appointment?
The Boy: How about ...
BC: OF COURSE RIGHT NOW! I require loves RIGHT NOW. It's an EMERGENCY!
The Boy: That's not exactly an emergency.
BC: Oh, how quick it could become one after the arrival of my furry fury.
The Boy: Keep your twenty-two points to yourself!
BC: Don't keep your ten fingers to yourself!
The Boy: BEAR! It's ... it's ... TWO AM! I'm sleeping!

BC: Huh. You seem awake to me. And by the way? You aren't NEARLY as cute as I am when you sleep.
The Boy: You woke me up just to insult me?
BC: Are you even paying attention? I woke you up so you could admire my exquisite feline form AND so you could pet me.
The Boy: YOU WERE PRANCING AROUND ON MY CHEST, BEAR! That WOKE ME UP!
BC: I WAS NOT PRANCING. I was walking around so you could admire me from all angles.

The Boy: It's TWO O'CLOCK in the MORNING, Bear!
BC: Ooooooh. Smarty-Pants can tell time! I KNOW what time it is! It's ADMIRE BEAR time!
The Boy: Your Momma's a couple inches to the right! Wake HER up! She's the one that thinks you're cute!
BC: You don't think I'm cute?
The Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
MK: Huh? What's ...
The Boy: YOUR CAT JUST DUG HIS BACK CLAW INTO MY BELLY BUTTON!
BC: Hehehehehehe.
MK: Yeah. That one hurts.
The Boy: He wants attention.
MK: Okay.
The Boy: It's TWO AM!
MK: {sigh} Do you want to go back to sleep?
The Boy: OBVIOUSLY!
MK: Then give him what he wants.
BC: And no one will get hurt ... err ... I mean more than that belly button piercing anyway.

The Boy: You're a furry little terrorist!
BC: I prefer being known as the HANDSOME cat that knows what he wants. Besides, you said women expect men to read their minds and that is nearly impossib ...
MK: WHAT?!?!
The Boy: I did not!
MK: What are you telling my cat?
BC: Your cat? YOUR cat?! I think not.
{Pause}
BC: But to answer your question, he also said that a woman's place is in cooking and cleaning.
MK: WHAT?!?!
The Boy: WHAT?!?!
{Pause}
The Boy: I did not!
MK: SERIOUSLY?!
The Boy: No! I swear! Why would I tell Bear that?
BC: Because you said girls are trouble!
MK: WHAT?!?!
The Boy: WHAT?!?! I never ...
MK: Bear! You're grounded.
BC: What ELSE is new? I'm grounded way beyond my ninth life!

MK: You two can take this circus elsewhere!
The Boy: I'm not part of this ... I was sleeping soundly when ...
BC: Not my circus ... not my monkeys.
{Pause}
BC: Hold on ... are monkeys tasty?
The Boy: WHAT?!?! Why are you looking at me?
BC: Aren't you the expert on monkeys?
The Boy: Why would I be the expert on monkeys?
BC: Err ... no reason.
The Boy: WHY?
MK: Can you take this elsewhere?
The Boy: I'm trying to sleep!
BC: But you're talking! You're not trying THAT hard!

The Boy: A lot of help YOU are!
MK: That's IT! OUT! Both of you!
The Boy: But ...
{The bedroom door slams}
BC: What's HER problem?
{Pause}
BC: Heeeeeey. What are you doing?
The Boy: What do you ...
BC: Pet me.
The Boy: Wait a ... 
BC: You're awake now! And you're out of bed! Time to pet me! My handsomeness awaits!
The Boy: You lied and tried to get me in trouble on purpose so I'd have to pet you!
BC: TRIED?!?! No. I didn't TRY. I DID!
The Boy: Bear ...
BC: OH! OH! I have a new song! Do you want to hear it?
The Boy: No. I'll have you know that fifteen minutes ago, I was warm in bed cuddled up to your Momma and ...
BC: Good! {AHEM}
The Boy: But I said ...
BC: {to the tune of "My Prerogative" by Bobby Brown}
Every moron's talking all this fluff about me,
Why don't they just let me live.
I don't need permission,
Make my own decisions,
That's my prerogative.
{Pause}
BC: They say I'm a pain.
I really don't care.
That's my prerogative.
They say I'm picky,
But I don't give a fig.
Loving torties is how I live.
Some ask me questions,
Why am I so tough,
But they don't understand me,
I don't know the problem
About a man cat
Wanting tasty whole chickens.
Not long ago
Before I win this right.
Sing!
{Pause}
BC: Every moron's talking all this fluff about me.
Why don't they just let me live.
{Meanwhile executing a butt wiggle and singing in higher notes} TELL ME WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!
I don't need permission,
Make my own decisions,
That's my prerogative.
{Meanwhile executing a butt wiggle and singing in lower notes} It's my prerogative.
{Pause}
BC: It's the way that I want to live (It's my prerogative)
I can bite and claw and sing (It's my prerogative)
No one can tell me what to do (It's my prerogative) ...
The Boy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ...
BC: HOW RUDE! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!
The Boy: What?! What?!?
BC: You fell asleep WHILE I was performing for you!
The Boy: Ummm ...
{Pause}
The Boy: WHAT?!?! Why are you staring at me? WHAT?!?!?

The Boy: STOP STARING AT ME!
The Boy: Stop staring at me - for more than five seconds!
The Boy: STOP!
{Pause}
The Boy: HONEY! Your cat is staring at me for no reason!
MK: You two deserve each other.
The Boy: But ... he keeps looking at me! I don't know what he wants!
MK: He doesn't want anything other than for you to be squeamish.
The Boy: Mission accomplished.
BC: Hehehehehe. That took long enough. NAP TIME!
{Bear jumps up in his cat tree}
BC: Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep!
The Boy: You woke me up! And then you got me kicked out of the bedroom!
BC: And that's MY problem because?
The Boy: But ...
BC: It's my nap time. Don't even think of trying to share my cat bed with me.
The Boy: I guess I'll try to settle on the couch.
BC: If you snore, I'm not going to be happy! I'm REALLY tired!
The Boy: For being tired, you do a lot of talking.
BC: If you don't shut it, I'll be doing a lot of clawing and biting.
MK: {from the other room} YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER!
BC: I hate you! I ALWAYS get stuck with the moron!
The Boy: I just live here! HE gets me in trouble!
BC: Yeah. I kind of do. And I'm awfully good at it too. BOOOOO-YAH!

Featured posts of the day:

54 comments:

  1. We often get petted while we were sleeping Bear and then we're not sleeping!

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    1. OOOH! That REALLY chaps my behind! When we're just going about our business sleeping and the people wake us up with the stupid camera or can't keep their hands off of us because we're just too dang cute! ~Bear Cat

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  2. Bear I love that cat tree. One of these days mom is gonna pet me when I'm in a very deep sleep and she might just draw back a nub...if you get my drift
    hugs madi your bfff

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    1. You'll have to share pictures, Madi! We can make an example out of her ;) ~Bear Cat

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  3. You got The Boy in BIG trouble, for sure. Excellent work, my friend. EXCELLENT! purrs

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  4. Good job Bear, you are getting that boy trained slow but sure. Kitties need attention when ever they want. You all have a great day.

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    1. It'll be a great day if everything goes my way ... otherwise Momma and The Boy will have a less than pleasant day ;) ~Bear Cat

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  5. Dude, 2 am petting is just.... normal! Break out the scritching fingers and get to work.

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    1. EXACTLY! It's not like I'm asking them to get up and slay some tasty whole chickens for me ... wait a ... BINGO! ~Bear Cat

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  6. Bear, you got The Boy kicked out of bed??? Awesome job! And I bet you slept the entire next day to make up for it :)

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    1. Yep. And I slept RIGHT in front of him in his office! He even complained about my snoring! Err ... umm, Mudpie, that's not a deal-breaker is it? I snore SOMETIMES?!?! ~Bear Cat

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  7. Bear, oh, Bear. We love you, but....humans need their sleep. They only get more crabby if they don't get it. :)
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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    1. I think a crabby cat is infinitely worse than a crabby human. Just sayin' ;) ~Bear Cat

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  8. Bear, you've made it your mission to drive The Boy crazy!

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    1. I think he came that way ;) I mean, he DOES like my Momma! ~Bear Cat

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  9. Good job Bear. Altho', you should end up back in da bed snugglin' with your mommy with da boy alone on da couch. Don't furget to wait till he falls asleep and take his covers with ya', and lock da bedroom door. MOL Hmmmmm Dat sounds like fun. Maybe mommy should find a boy so we could have someone to torture. MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. WOW! That would TOTALLY redirect Raena's energy so she'd leave you alone (or at least a LITTLE more), Dezi! Though the verdict is still out on whether it'd be worth it. Guys bring all kinds of trouble with them ... usually more trouble than they take away! ~Bear Cat

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  10. Bear, you always get one over the Boy, which is awesome. He's simply no match for you so why does he try? I hope you were able to get lots of rest today!

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    1. I did! While the people had to work! Hahahahahahaha. ~Bear Cat

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  11. Purrfect timing, Bear! Two AM is always a good time to demand attention.

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    1. Yep. I'm cute - so I can get away with it ;) ~Bear Cat

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  12. Bear Car, you are something else!! he he - we think you are the cutest ever - but you do have "THAT" look about you too. Me thinks you know how to get the last word in too.

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  13. AMARULA: I LOVE your version of My Prerogative!! It is gonna be my new theme song!! Let's sing it together!

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    1. You're MY prerogative, Amarula. I'll take Zulu out for calling you ill tempered ;) ~Bear Cat

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  14. I am confused, why wouldn't someone want to be woken up at 2 AM to admire you? That sounds wonderful to me.

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  15. Oh dear, that's me with the petting while my cat asleep, and me with the camera! Bad mommy!

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    1. Don't worry ... my Momma's a bad Momma too! Okay, okay ... neither of you are "bad moms" ... but sometimes a kitten just wants to sleep ;) ~Bear Cat

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  16. Wow, you guys have quite the conversation at 2AM!

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    1. Hehehehehe. Talking is the best way to ensure they stay awake ;) ~Bear Cat

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  17. Yup the things we have to put up with, Bear. I don't have a cat tree, so I HAVE to get peep out of the way so I can be fed and snuggle up on my two thirds of the bed. I have to admit that two AM sounds quite reasonable to me. I think I do some of my best work at that time, then at three AM and again at four. I really don't know why peeps insist on changing us to their life style when they want us to be happy, then complain when we are happy and want to share it.
    Purrs, ERin
    PS I find a schedule very handy for training my peep to be up at the right time. With two, this should be way easier for you.

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    1. Hmmm. A schedule. Sounds reasonable to me! ~Bear Cat

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  18. Hehehe, nice work, Bear. Causing such a raucous at 2AM.. sounds like something we would do!

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    1. And you have help! So that means BUSINESS! ~Bear Cat

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  19. You sing that song well, Bear! And oh, I think "Rhet" is for Rhet Butler kitty - that is you, of course - striking good looks, strong, sure of yourself, & great voice! I wake my humans up in the middle of the night by turning on the alarm clock & knocking stuff off the dresser so it falls near the doggie's bed. Tee hee hee!

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    1. I bet they don't even see you coming ... given that luxurious black fur of yours! ~Bear Cat

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  20. Bear you keep him in line!!!! Mom likes how your haunches look when you sit :) Love, Cody catchatwithcarenandcody

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    1. My Momma made fun of me and called me a fat cat! How RUDE! Like she has any room to talk! ~Bear Cat

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  21. What's wrong with humans that they don't want to get up at 2am and do fun activities with you? They need to get their priorities straight, Bear.

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    1. Exactly! They can be awake for five minutes to pet me! But they get mad when I bite them after five minutes. Like I'm inconveniencing them! Phht. ~Bear Cat

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  22. Hi Bear,
    Your female human is well versed in feline behavior. She's right. When I walk all over my female human's chest at 2 or 3 am and chatter at her, she knows that the only way she's going to get back to sleep is to have a little chat with me and then pet me. Life would be so much easier for humans if they would just comply.
    Your Friend,
    Jasmine

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    1. The female humans tend to be smarter than the males ;) ~Bear Cat

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  23. Concert time! We sure do love when you sing for us, Bear. How could The Boy fall asleep during your performance, though? How rude!

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    1. And I'm not going to let him forget that he did! ~Bear Cat

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  24. dood....eggs cell ant post two day... even tho we think yur mom mite bee a bit
    ....sounds like...hissed ...off !!! oh N tell de boy belly button peercingz R all
    de rage

    N him wood pay top dollar if him wented two a shop ta haz don,e what ewe did for
    free ~~~~~~~ ♥♥☺☺

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    1. We're so glad you Tabbies enjoyed our post - that means more to us than anything else! And Momma's ALWAYS hissed off ... but don't tell her I said that ;) ~Bear Cat

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  25. Dood! We can see the training's coming along....slow-w-w-wly... MOL!

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    1. Good to the last drop (of blood)? Worth the wait (for revenge)? Hehehehehehehe. ~Bear Cat

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  26. Gotta love those 2 am wake up calls. Keeps the uprights on their toes. Rhetorically speaking. 😌

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