Tuesday, June 21, 2016

No Movey, Momma

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - "No movey, Momma:"
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
MK: Wha? Beeeeeeeeeear! Lemme sleep!
BC: I'm hungry.
MK: {snoring lightly}.
BC: HOW RUDE!!!!
{Bear claws Momma's face}
BC: Wakey-wakey Momma! Wakey-wakey! I was TALKING to you when you fell asleep! SURELY you didn't mean to fall back asleep WHILE I was talking to you!
MK: Yeah, yeah, you hungry. Me sleepy-sleepy. Oooooo ....
{Momma's alarm goes off}
MK: (BLEEP) the (BLEEP)!
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
MK: Grrrr.
BC: Your alarm went off! Don't you think you should get up instead of roll over? Lots to do! Lots to ...
MK: {snoring lightly}.
BC: {clawing Momma's face} Open eyes! Open!!!! Eyes!!! OPEN!!!
MK: Bear! Stop clawing my face and opening my eyes with your claws! I'm not vain, but I'm going to the conference this week and I'd rather not look like my face met the wrong end of a barbed wire fence. What will all the other people ... think ... {snoring lightly}.
BC: {jumping on Momma's face} HIIIII!
MK: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Bear BUTT!
BC: I think THEY'LL think you're taken. By a proper cat. WITH CLAWS.
MK: They'll ... who's THEY?
BC: The people at the conference.
MK: Oh, yeah. That's this ... week ... and ... {snoring lightly}.
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I'm hungry! Need yummies in my tummies! NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOW! YUMMIES!! TUMMIES! ME!!!!!!!
MK: BEEEEEEEEEEEEAAR!
BC: Your alarm went off.
MK: Yes, I'm aware. I'm so tired ... just a little bit longer ... {snoring lightly}.
BC: Ridiculous! She chooses MY FOOD TIME to sleep! If I just whack her .... just ... right ...
MK: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
BC: My litter box requires scooping. And I'm ....
MK: {snoring lightly}.
BC: HMPH. I've never been so insulted. The alarm will go off again and then I'll pounce.
{An hour passes, then Momma's alarm goes off}
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I'm still hungry!
MK: I'm still tired. Let me get eight hours of sleep.
BC: The audacity of this atrocity!
MK: {snoring lightly}.
{Bear plops his rear end on Momma's face which gets no reaction ... an hour passes and Momma's alarm goes off again.}
BC: Eight hours! It's been EIGHT HOURS!
MK: Beeeeeeeeeeear! Come on! I've been so tired, so stressed, and I finally calmed down enough to sleep! So tired. I'm happily sleepy ... sleeping ... happily ...
BC: I'm unhappily hungry! HUNGRY UNHAPPILY!!! And I pooped in my litter box! POOPED! A BIG poop! A STINKY poop!
MK: {snoring lightly}.
BC: She's dead. Is that what happens when someone dies? They just fail to start? She's turning over! So that can't be bad, right? They say if you can only get it to turn over ... or is that cars? Where's her owner's manual? SURELY it would address this ... MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMA!
{Silence, except for light snoring}
BC: If I fire her, will that get her "fired up"? Or does that mean I have to start her on fire? Because I'm not allowed to play with matches ...
{Pause}
BC: Or is that WHY I'm not allowed to play with matches ... so she can be selfish and sleep. I don't like this! Hmm ... sleepy ... nothing ... better ... do ...
{Two hours pass}
MK: Arg. That felt good. Bear?
BC: {Snoring lightly}.
{Pause}
BC: HUUH?!?! No MOVEY! No MOVEY, MOMMA! Bear ... Bear ... sleepy ... comfy ... sleepy ... snuggle ... with my  ... Mom ... ma ...
{Pause}
BC: Spend all night ... night ... waking ... you ... {snoring}. No ... movey ...
MK: Huh. Works for me. {Momma falls back asleep with a smile on her face and in her heart}.


Picture of the Day:
"No MOVEY! No MOVEY, MOMMA! Bear ... Bear ... sleepy ... comfy ... sleepy ..."

Featured post of the Day:
To read more about Bear's hijinks while Momma sleeps: Bear, While Momma Sleeps.

8 comments:

  1. Bear, humans don't come with owners manuals. You just have to figure your momma out all on your own! But I'm glad she got some much needed sleep.

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  2. Our Mama NEVER get 8hrs. of sleep! It's like she's jacked up on crack or something! ;p

    Our Mama would also have liked to have met yours at Blog Paws this year. She plans to go next year though so maybe they will meet then. This year, Wilhelmina is too young and impulsive to board while Mama is away but next year Wilhelmina will be a better listener and old enough to enjoy the kennel experience(where her mama, papa and grandfather doggie family live). We know your Mama will have lots of fun. Just being around people who love their animals as much as you is very uplifting!

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    Replies
    1. Something for both our Mamas to look forward to for next year! My Momma thinks it sounds like heaven to spend time in a place where everyone sees the value in even the "least" of animal companions ... I saved her life after all, so she should know. She tells people that if her life has value, than my saving her life means I have value. Then again, I make every day of her life worthwhile but not so many people would understand that. I hope my Momma has fun because otherwise she'll be sad and miss me. Wilhelmina is such a gorgeous puppy ... I don't really like dogs all that much, but she could be a model! ~Bear Cat

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  3. That was nice of you to let your mama sleep.

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    Replies
    1. Hmph. I didn't "LET" her ... she just refused to move!!! Okay, okay. I don't mind the snuggles ... Momma calls me her "SnugBug" because I'm such an expert. ~Bear Cat

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  4. Your mom is like ours. She refuses to get up and feed us even though we're STARVING! What are we gonna do, Bear??

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    Replies
    1. I try a variety of things ... I have this super-dramatic barf that gets her up every time. I stick my wet nose in her ear ... or lick her ear ... or even bite her ear. I break stuff or find ways to make sure she hears me misbehaving. Then there's the kitty olympics where I use her as a trampoline or a balance beam (I often lose marks for losing my balance and landing butt first on her face). I'm a genius when it comes to technique, but my Momma is pretty stubborn too. ~Bear Cat

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