Monday, August 1, 2016

The name game

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - The name game:
BC: Momma! MoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmMMMA!
MK: What's wrong?
BC: You just sat in my chair!
MK: What?
BC: That's my desk chair!
MK: Is NOT.
BC: Is TOO.
MK: Is NOT.
BC: Is TOO.
MK: I don't see your name on it.
BC: But ... but ... RATS!
MK: {Momma goes back to work relieved that Bear didn't notice that her name isn't on the chair either}.
{For the rest of the day, Bear's busy at work in his cat tree corner ... }


The next morning ...
MK: Bear? Why didn't you cuddle and sleep next to me?
BC: I was busy, Momma.
MK: Uh oh. Do I want to know?
BC: Know what?
MK: What you did all night.
BC: You'll find out soon.
MK: {groaning}.
{Pause}
MK: Wait a .... BEAR!
BC: Uh oh.
MK: Why's there a post-it on the bathroom mirror that has your name?

BC: Because that's my mirror!
MK: Bear, we share ...
BC: Yesterday you said anything that didn't have my name on it is not mine. I'm just protecting my rights!
MK: That's not EXACTLY what I ... But I use the mirror too!
BC: It doesn't have YOUR name on it! MY mirror. The counter provides the perfect stage for my cat walk. And the shelf is mine too. 
MK: The shelf?
BC: Well, I like to knock everything on the shelves into the toilet.
MK: I'm sorry I asked.
{Momma uses the bathroom and then walks into the kitchen to find ... }
MK: BEAR! You have GOT to be kidding me! You're not even supposed to be ON the counter! The toaster? The refrigerator? The pantry?
BC: That's the counter I sit on when I want my noms. And well, you know why I like the toaster.
MK: It's unplugged though.
BC: I marked it just in case you plug it in again and I can go back to sticking my paw in there for attention!
MK: Why the refrigerator? And the pantry?
BC: That's where you keep my noms!
MK: Did you really need to put your name on your toys that I keep in the pantry because you aren't allowed to have them without supervision?
BC: I didn't want to take a chance.
MK: This is ....
{Pause}
MK: BEAR!
BC: Hey! The kitchen table is mine too! I have to have that corner free so I can stare at you while you work whenever I want. You know ... like this ...
MK: Did you REALLY have to put post-its ...
BC: You SAID the desk chair didn't have my name on it so I couldn't claim it!
{Momma turns around to look at the desk chair}

MK: Wait a ...
MK: You think I'm going to use your litter or your kibble or your litter box? REALLY?
BC: Well ... you SAID ...
MK: BEAR!
MK: You'd think that the carpet you tore up and the loveseat you shredded would be adequately labeled as yours!
MK: The curtain that's already covered in your fur? And the window and blinds you destroyed by biting the ends off for quick access to the window? Remember this?
MK: Wait a ... BEAR! WHY IS YOUR NAME ON MY CLOTHES?!?!?
BC: Well, TECHNICALLY, since my name is on them ... they are mine.
MK: I ... err ...
BC: Though I suppose the only part I need are the string-like portions. You can have the rest.
MK: Oh, you are so kind!
BC: I know.
MK: It isn't enough that you run off with my bras and pants or anything with a drawstring or strap?
BC: TECHNICALLY, MY name is on them. 
MK: Yes. I definitely see that the bra is yours. Don't you have enough of your own toys?
BC: DUH!
MK: Oh, for the love of ....
{Pause}
MK: MY BED!?!?!?
BC: I think you're confused ... it DOES have my name on it, you know.
MK: Bear, why would you feel the need to label your food and water bowls and your cat tree?
BC: You said the chair didn't have my name on it!
MK: I didn't mean that literally!
BC: How was I supposed to know that?
MK: COMMON SENSE!
BC: I'm a CAT! We don't have COMMON sense! We have ... we have ... 
MK: BEAR!

BC: Uh oh.
MK: The teddy bear too?
BC: You said it was from the Big Dodo.
MK: It was ... you can have the teddy bear.
BC: But I don't want what you don't want!!!
MK: I have to write down this ridiculousness for our blog! Where's my ...
MK: (BLEEP) it, Bear!
BC: I wouldn't touch it if I were you. It DOES have my name on it after all.
MK: This is the most ridiculous ...
{CLOP!}
MK: What the ...
MK: {sigh} Now there's one I can agree with.
BC: I'm out of post-it notes. Can I have another ... {seeing Momma's face}.
{Pause}
BC: Err ... maybe later ...

Featured posts of the Day:
*** Did you miss Bear's bathroom mirror show, including his "I'm too sexy" song, in Kitty Diva or Pop "Tart?"
*** To read more about Bear's antics (including his habit of making off with Momma's bras and pants): Bears Behaving Badly (or at least regrettably) and Things I Never, Ever Thought I'd Say to a Cat.

20 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, Bear. What DOESN'T belong to you? But I guess I know the answer to that! You have clearly claimed that curtain though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my mouses, you've been busy BC. I wonder if I put my name on MY office door, the peep would then learn to respect the fact that the office is mine. All mine. MINE. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

    Purrs,
    Seville

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmph. Judging from my Momma's reaction to my signs, she's clearly clueless about what belongs to me around here! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  3. Oh my mouses, you've been busy BC. I wonder if I put my name on MY office door, the peep would then learn to respect the fact that the office is mine. All mine. MINE. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

    Purrs,
    Seville

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmph. Judging from my Momma's reaction to my signs, she's clearly clueless about what belongs to me around here! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  4. Hi Bear, we work on a slightly different premise in this here Palace premises, that if I can chase a mouse over it, under, through around or anything in between it's mine. The exception is those small brown envelopes... from the tax and utilities, their peeps, as I don't carry cash, spoils my streamline physique and a pain for napping on. purrs ERin

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    Replies
    1. Sounds like you have your priorities clearly mapped out, Erin. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  5. Oh Bear we sure know 'bout dat your stuffs mommy's stuffs. But we's never woulda thought 'bout puttin' our name's on mommy's things. Course, me's not sure she'd care. MOL Have fun.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TECHNICALLY, the stuff is mine because I have my name on them ;) ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  6. MOL, Bear! It's understood around here that everything belongs to us except clothes that are neatly put away in drawers. If we can't open the drawers, that is. If we were to try to lay claim to the head peep's dainties like that, she might try to make us wear them, so you're a braver kitty than we are!

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  7. Oh Bear you are so silly!!!!!! You really put your paw in the toaster for attention? Silly Bear! I LOVE how you stare at your Mama!! catchatwithcarenandcody

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    Replies
    1. Yes. I have a habit of finding the one thing my Momma can't ignore and running with it. ~Bear Cat

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  8. Ok, that was funny. You really took an idea and ran with it. Nice job.

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  9. You are too funny- I understand everything except the bra, you don't need a bra Bear. And wouldn't it be eaiser to pee on everything to mark it instead of all that writing? :)

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