Friday, July 29, 2016

Momma shaming

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Momma shaming:

BC: I love you.
MK: {looking behind herself in both directions} Are you talking to me?
BC: No.
MK: {crumpling just a bit} Oh.
BC: OF COURSE, I'm talking to you!
{Silence}
BC: Might I add that your hair looks decent today? Did you do something different with it? Maybe lick it a little bit extra?
MK: Did you walk into the wall again?
BC: Phht. Again? That implies I walked into it once already.
{Silence}
BC: NO. I did not walk into the walk AGAIN. Today anyway.
MK: Then what do you want?
BC: Can't I just tell my favorite Momma how much I love her? Come here and give me a hug!
{CLOP!}
MK: What the ...
BC: Hehehehehehe.
MK: What'd you just put on my back?
BC: Nothing. I was just giving you a ...

MK: POOH BEAR CAT!
BC: Uh oh. Full name. BYE!
MK: Your food bowl isn't empty!
BC: {from under the bed} Close enough! 

MK: Bear, the bowl was overfull when you stuck your  paw in there and batted the kibble out. So there is no way in hell your bowl is empty.
BC: I ate five pieces of kibble. Hey. I have to use the litter box. Can I be granted immunity for long enough to take care of my masculine needs?
MK: You act like I hurt you when you do something I don't like.
BC: You stepped on me a couple weeks ago!
MK: Not out of anger! Go ahead.
BC: De da la fa la de do re la fa .... 
{CLOP!}
MK: Bear! So help me, if you ...
BC: BYE!
MK: {sigh} WHEN have I tortured you? WHEN?
BC: {from under the bed} You brush my teeth every day and you wash my chin every day and you clip my claws every couple weeks!

ABOVE: Bear hiding from the "torture" back in his cat tree corner where Momma can't reach him.
BELOW: The "instruments" of "torture."

MK: Bear. You know if I don't wash your face every day, you'll break out. You don't want open sores on your chin, do you? I know they hurt. And if I don't brush your teeth you'll lose even more than you already have.
BC: How do you know? You've been brushing my teeth for years! Maybe the only reason I've lost ANY teeth is because you brush my teeth!
MK: You're right. I don't know that. Though you did lose teeth before I ever started brushing your teeth too. I trust the vet on the issue of your teeth. If he tells me to brush them, I'll brush them.
BC: Hmph. Your taste in vets leaves something to be desired. First there was the woman who didn't realize I was a boy and thought I was PREGNANT! Then there was Meow McQuacky-Pants! Do I have to remind you that you checked to see if he was married?
MK: That's not exactly how it happened, Bear. 
BC: Hmph. You only take me to the vet to get a boyfriend!
MK: {rolling her eyes} Have I ever dated one of your vets?
BC: NO! That's just the thing! Both the guys are married! And you know because you CHECKED. TRAITOR! I have to be tortured so you can get a date!
MK: Again, that's not how it happened and you know that. You've also had women who've seen you too.
BC: Hmph. I bet they were men in disguise!
MK: {choking down laughter and snorting instead} Why would they go through dressing as women?
BC: To TRICK me!
MK: Not everything revolves around you, Bear.
BC: Don't be ridiculous. What ELSE does it revolve around besides your desperation for a date?
{Pause}
BC: Where are you going?

MK: To get the mail.
BC: I love you, Momma!
{Bear pats Momma's back}

MK: I love you too, Bear!
{Momma's gone for a few minutes}
MK: Bear. Is there anything you want to tell me?
BC: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.
MK: That's what I thought. What's it say this time? I'm pretty sure I walked past a group of people snickering at me.

BC: I'm confused. Don't people ALWAYS snicker at you when you walk past?
MK: Hahaha. No. But thanks for this one.
BC: All my pleasure.
MK: I wasn't being sarcastic in the least.
BC: I know. Sarcasm requires a cleverness that exceeds your abilities.
MK: Revenge is sweet.
BC: I think you mean revenge is tasty whole chickens.
MK: What are you ...
{CLOP!}

MK: Yeah. I bet everyone feels sorry for you.
BC: They should! I'm hammock-less and tasty whole chicken-less and wet food treat-less!
MK: I already gave you your wet food treat, Bear.
BC: I know! But I don't have any right now!
MK: Maybe if you didn't scarf ...
{CLOP!}

MK: {sigh}. How many of these signs did you make?
BC: I don't know.
MK: Says the cat that knows if I get out eight treats and only give him five.
BC: I have to keep track so you don't skim some off the top for yourself.
MK: Bear ...
BC: I saw that box of doughnuts!
MK: Just out all my secrets.
BC: The ways to Momma's heart are doughnuts and cookies and Kit Kats.
MK: And thanks to you, now our neighbors think I would trade you for Kit Kats.
BC: Hehehehehe.
MK: One word, Bear ... one word.
BC: No? That's USUALLY your word.
MK: Hahahaha. Nope. Revenge.
BC: Uh oh.
MK: Sleep well!
BC: Umm ... you're kidding, right? Momma? MooooooommmmmmmMMMMA!?!?!

Featured posts of the Day:
*** Did you miss the posts sharing the story of Bear's adoption and the subsequent confusion over his maleness? Momma's Favorite Story and The good news is your cat is not pregnant . . . the bad news is . . . (or How We Met).
*** Did you miss the story of Meow McQuacky-Pants? Meow McQuacky-Pants & Bear's Food Time.

*** To read more about how Bear got his full name (Pooh Bear) ... Naming "Male Kitten."

10 comments:

  1. Oh Bear we know your mommy luvs you more than anythin'. We know dat cuz our mommy luvs donuts too, but she gives up her donut eatin' so we can have da bestest food. Ifin your mommy couldn't afford to buy both we know she would gladly give up her donuts to get your nommy noms. Sorry you don't have any tasty whole chickens. We don't have any whole ones, but we'll be happy to share da bits, bites and pieces we do have. Give your mommy an extra hug...without da sign. MOL Have a pawsum day.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You girls are so sweet! Sending hugs and purrs back your way :)

      Delete
  2. It is not nice to shame your Momma. You are so lucky, that is a lot of food in that dish. My kitties never have a bowl of food waiting for them whenever they are hungry. Joanie and Sammy would eat it all and yack.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sometimes eat a lot really fast too ... and yack. That's why I made the sign - my Momma takes the food away when she thinks that I'm eating too much too fast. Phht. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  3. Bear, this whole date business, at the vets, surely a greengrocer would be better? Anyways, have you thought if you change the signs on your peeps back to read "this peep needs tasty whole chickens", and leave an address, you could solve your food issue and have some spare for your peep too! purrs ERin

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  4. MOL ! We're sure your mom is not bad as that, Bear ! Purrs

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  5. Oh wow, Bear. You sure do know how to human shame your momma. But she's only trying to take care of you! Although those instruments do look a little intimidating...

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