Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Pinkie Mouse in the White House

MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat

Daily conversation - Pinkie Mouse in the White House:
MK: What the ....
{Pause}
MK: BEAR!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: {sigh} I REALLY hate how you say that EVERY TIME I call your name!
BC: You could stop calling my name!
MK: Never mind. Why is there a line of your toys down the hallway?
BC: There's no line of toys.
MK: Yes .... there is! Your toy micey ... your sparkle balls ... kitty ... your chicken leg ...




BC: OHH! You mean the VOTERS.
MK: Excuse me?
BC: We're holding the first free elections within the boundaries of your tyranny.
MK: Tyranny doesn't have free elections, Bear.
BC: Exactly. I'm running on the anti-tyranny party ticket. My platform is simple ... no more tyranny.
{Pause}
BC: OH! And tasty whole chickens in every pot. And box. Actually, turn the house into a tasty whole chicken farm!
MK: You can't hold elections without all the parties knowing there's an election!
BC: They do!
MK: What about me?
BC: Oh, yeah. Well, you're not going to win, so it doesn't really matter if you know about the election or not.
MK: Bear, your toys aren't representative of the constituents.
BC: They have to tolerate your tyranny too! You abuse poor Pinkie Mouse! And all the other micey that no longer have ears!
MK: And WHY are those micey earless, Bear?!?!

BC: I didn't do it!
MK: Oh, yeah? Who's the one who's Mr. Tough Pants with his toys?
BC: Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep toys in line? NO! You wouldn't! So much disrespect ... they're just ASKING for a smack ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
MK: Wait a ... ARE THOSE MY POST-ITS?!?!

BC: DUH! An election requires ballots.
MK: Bear!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: Oh, for ... I told you not to touch my post-its!
BC: Nooooooo. You said not to go around sticking post-its on everything. These are BALLOTS.
MK: Bear!
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: {sigh} Some of these ballots don't even have my name on them!
BC: Well, YEAH. You ARE tyranny!
MK: I guessed that.
BC: So you admit it!
MK: {sigh} No. Just process of elimination.
BC: You're about to be eliminated!
MK: ANYWAY. Some of these ballots don't even have 'Tyranny' listed!
BC: I got tired of writing ... and since everyone is going to vote for me ...
MK: Bear, your toys can't vote.
BC: Tell THEM that! DO YOU HEAR THAT, TOYS?!?! Tyranny says you can't vote!
MK: Toys don't vote in ANY election, Bear.
BC: Said who? Have you not heard of the three-fifths compromise?
MK: Bear, that applied to slaves in the early days of this country.
BC: Toys ... slaves ...
MK: And you call ME a tyrant! At least I don't have slave equivalents! Or any toys "asking" for a smack down.
BC: Well, if you hadn't noticed, you don't have any voters either!
MK: So much for "free election."
BC: It IS free! You had the post-its laying around! I didn't have to wait until you were pre-occupied to steal your credit card and ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
MK: You don't even know the meaning of free elections!
BC: I'm not stupid! 
{Pause}
BC: I think my favorite tortie will make an exquisite first lady!
MK: Oh, my ....
BC: And Pinkie Mouse will make a fantastic first mouse in the white house!
MK: We don't have a white house.
BC: Time to redecorate!
MK: No. You've "redecorated" enough already.

BC: Why don't we let the voters decide?






MK: Because the voters are YOUR TOYS!
BC: Don't worry, Momma. I'm sure one of my toys will vote for you. Teddy's always had it out for me.
MK: That's it! 
BC: What? Where are you going?
MK: My stuffed animals are voting absentee ballots.
BC: They can't do that!
MK: Why not?
BC: Because your stuffed animals aren't registered voters!
MK: Show me the registry.
BC: It's ... it's ... RATS!
MK: And your destroyed toys are DEFINITELY voting for me!
BC: Don't be ridiculous! Dead toys can't vote, Momma!
MK: Wanna bet?
BC: Sheesh! What kind of elections do you humans have where you stuff the ballot box and dead things can vote?!?!?
MK: What are you talking about "stuff" the ballot box?
BC: Your stuffed animals stuff the ballot box!
MK: That's not what "stuffing the ballot box" means!
{Pause}
MK: BEAR! You can't intimidate the voters by WATCHING the vote!
BC: So you're conceding that this is a valid election!
MK: No ...
BC: Because I have claws ... {RIP, RIP, RIP, RIPPITY RIP} ...
MK: That's voter intimidation! You're threatening the voters!
BC: SEE! You admit my toys are valid voters!
MK: NEVER MIND! Wake me up when this day is over.
BC: OOOOOH! Are you laying down?!?! Because I could use some snuggles!
MK: What about your election?
BC: One more day of tyranny won't hurt anyone. Especially if it's accompanied by ear rubs! Ooooh! Add ear rubs and belly rubs to my platform! I mean for me. 
MK: Always thinking of yourself, aren't you?
BC: I'm a cat!
MK: Synonym for cat? TYRANT.
BC: Err ... umm ... PET ME NOW! Or the comforter gets it!
{Pause}
BC: RATS! Thank goodness some of my micey don't have ears!
MK: I'm pretty sure they already know.

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28 comments:

  1. Oh waiting to see the voting turnout... will there be a recount? MOL... Thanks for the fun. Momma Kat, I hope you win.
    -Katie Kat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Don't give Bear any ideas ;) ~Bear Cat

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  2. I love the toy line up Bear, early voting?

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  3. So will this be the year that the first mouse gets in the White House? :-)

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  4. Redecorating... MOL! That furniture has had just about enough redecorating <- our Mom said that.

    We think the dedded mousies deserve to vote twice. It'd be a nice thing to do, being as they have served themselves well.

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    Replies
    1. Great points! I keep telling Momma we need new furniture so I can start with a blank slate ... but she doesn't seem to appreciate my artistic vision! ~Bear Cat

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  5. Well Bear, we think you purrobably already rule, don'cha'? We fur sure do. Every once in a while we let mommy thinks she does. You know she goes on a tyrade 'bout us thinkin' we're da alphas and such and how she's da true alpha in our house. And we let her think it. She'll give in befur long. Mommy's da alphas?. (shakes head) As ifin. Anyways, good luck. we sure hope da human election isn't as crooked as yours. MOL Big hugs to both of ya'.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Momma said my election just might be the only one more screwed up than the real one ;) ~Bear Cat

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  6. Bear, you've gotta let your mum have one vote. You know, so that she doesn't feel too bad. A peep would feel badly if they didn't get a single vote. But one is enough, I should think.

    Purrs,
    Seville

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    Replies
    1. Oh, FINE! But don't say I never give her anything! ~Bear Cat

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  7. Bear, you're brilliant and absolutely hysterical! We hate to break this to you though, but the dead *do* vote! Mudpie says you have a pawsome toy collection and she'd be honored to be your First Lady :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, now I better win! Thank you, Mudpie and Mom :) ~Bear Cat

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  8. This was seriously funny! And ever so much more entertaining than the real one. PS Bear, if your mom's stuffie collection count is anything like our mom's, your election could be in serious trouble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're glad you enjoyed it! Hard to find a more screwed up election than the one next week, but leave it to a cat, right?!?!

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  9. You are too funny Bear. I love the voting line, I hope the line for me to go to next week is not as long.

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    Replies
    1. No kidding. In the 2008 election, my Momma stood out in the cold for 3 hours just to vote. She didn't think it would take long so she didn't bring a coat. Now she knows better. ~Bear Cat

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  10. Wow, that's some seriously awesome voter turnout, Bear! Early voting, no doubt!

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  11. Hope you win, Bear!

    Purr xx
    Athena and Marie

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  12. That was hilarious! And always good to see that i'm not the only one who buys my cats way too many toys! Maybe that's the best way to get voters to the ballot-line the way with toys!hairballsandhissyfits.com

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  13. Wow, that is quite the lineup of toys! How does one Bear Cat have so many toys?

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  14. Bear Cat, we would love to visit your ballot box and vote for you! Where do we get in line?

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    Replies
    1. If Momma's stuffed animals can vote absentee, so can you! I've added your vote to the total! Thank you! ~Bear Cat

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