Friday, November 4, 2016

The bait

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - The bait {
Pinkie Mouse in the White House, part 2}:
BC: Momma? We need some bait.

MK: I'm going to regret this ... Why?
BC: Because elections always include the bait!
MK: The bait?
BC: You know, where we stand around and insult each other and act all personable.
MK: How do you insult each other and pull off being personable? 
{Pause}
BC: Cat-able. Feline-able?

MK: What are you ...
BC: There's usually another guy who asks questions of the candidates!
MK: Debate?
BC: That's what I said! We need THE BAIT for a proper election!
MK: Ummm ... Bear?
BC: Your Momma!
MK: Wait, no ...
BC: Your butt is so big, a doughnut hole looks small.
MK: Err ... Excuse me?
BC: Knock knock.

MK: WHAT?!?!
BC: KNOCK KNOCK. Sheesh. You're supposed to answer the door!
MK: You mean say, "Who's there?"
BC: That's what I said!
MK: {sigh} Who's there?
BC: Funny.
MK: Funny who?
BC: Funny ... NOT YOU!
{Pause}
BC: I bring humor to the office of the anti-tyrant. You bring ... bring ... tyranny!
MK: But ...
BC: Okay! Time to talk about the issues now. 
MK: Ummm ...
BC: What's the difference between you and an egg? An egg gets laid. 
MK: HEY!
BC: If you're gonna be a smart-a**, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an a**.
MK: Hey! Wait a ...
BC: Isn’t it rather dangerous to use one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
{Pause}
BC: OOOOh! This is a good bait!
MK: Bear, it's a DE-BATE. Not BAIT!
BC: I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
MK: These aren't ISSUES ... they're INSULTS!
BC: Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
MK: DE-BATE! As Merriam-Webster defines it ... "a discussion between people in which they express different opinions about something."
BC: What language are you speaking? Because it sounds like bull****.
MK: Hello,  tall, dark and obnoxious! 
{Pause}
MK: That sounded better in my head.
BC: You should probably keep all your thoughts there.
MK: Says the cat that aspired to be a "cat rapper," or, "crapper," with the tagline, "I drop more than beats!"
BC: I don't mind that you're talking as long as you don't mind that I'm ignoring you. 
MK: And I didn't think there could be a bigger circus than the Presidential debates this year. Leave it to a cat.
BC: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
MK: Hmmm. Monkey being oddly appropriate for both candidates. Except that it kind of is everyone's problem.
BC: Okay, so we've had the part of the bait where we claim we're talking about issues but instead insult one another ...
MK: Ummm ... technically, I didn't insult you because I couldn't get a word in ...
BC: What's your position on tasty whole chickens?
MK: Bear, if the voters are your toys, what use do they have for tasty whole chickens?

BC: Do you hear the condescension, toys? Tyranny thinks you have no right to tasty whole chickens! Vote for Tyranny ... and no tasty whole chickens for you!
MK: That's not what I ...
BC: What's your position on privacy for our voters?


MK: They're TOYS!
BC: "Just TOYS!"
MK: I didn't say ...
BC: Hear that, toys? Tyranny marginalizes you! Tyranny refuses to give you equal rights! When you vote, remember that, to Tyranny, you are "just" toys!

MK: Wait a ...
BC: Foreign policy.
MK: I can't BELIEVE this!
BC: Walk softly with a big claw.
MK: What?
BC: No, no. Walk softly with big FANGS!
MK: Do I get to share my ...
BC: BOOM! The bait is OVER!
MK: Wait!
{Pause}
BC: That reminds me. It will cost your stuffed animals five dollars each to vote.
MK: WHAT?! I thought you said this was a FREE ELECTION?
BC: Well, I figure you have WAY more stuffed animals than I have toys, so I'm bound to lose. At least this way, I'll have the money to buy a tasty whole chicken. Or ten.
MK: That's extortion!
BC: I can do whatever I want; I'M A CAT!
MK: And you call ME Tyranny.
BC: Okay, Tyranny. Time for ...
MK: STOP CALLING ME THAT!
BC: SEE! TYRANNY!
MK: But ...
BC: Time for press shots! 
MK: You've GOT to be kidding me! I am not taking pictures of myself.
BC: OBVIOUSLY! Voters want to see ME! MEMEMEMEMEME!
MK: You might just be a politician after all.
BC: Thank you!
{Pause}
BC: How's this? {Bear mugs for the camera}. This??? {Bear mugs for the camera}.
BC: Do I look regal this way? {Bear turns sideways to mug for the camera}.
BC: Do I look pensive this way? {Bear faces forward again but looks down to mug for the camera}.
BC: Time for a close up!!!
BC: TOO CLOSE! TOO CLOSE!
MK: {sigh} You ARE cute.
BC: I don't get by just on my looks, Momma! I'm a very serious business cat, you know!
MK: {reaching out} Even business cats like ear rubs, right?
BC: I guess. If I ... PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ... have ... PURRRR ... to ...
MK: Poor you.
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
MK: I love you, Bug.
BC: My revolution can wait another ... PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR {sigh} ... day.

Featured posts of the day:

20 comments:

  1. Bear, you and MK sure do have interesting conversations. Those pictures are just purrfect of you Bear. You all have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's always "fun" at our house! Thank you. ~Bear Cat

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  2. Arthur behaves like your election circus, when he sees an intruder, he makes a lot of noise and screams and you would think they would kill each other. But they are cats and they respect the rules, humans don't ! Your pictures are beautiful !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I always feel like my photography is my weakest point :)

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  3. I would wait too if snuggles were involved!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am a snuggly boy ... just don't tell anyone ... I've got street cred! ~Bear Cat

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  4. Oh Bear, you look so adorable. We luv da too close close up. We're notorious fur doin' those. MOL Big hugs fur ya'll.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well I declare...maybe there's hope yet. BC didn't bite the mama! Definitely a red letter day. Happy weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RATS! I KNEW I was forgetting something! Surely I can make up for that right? ~Bear Cat

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  6. Well, I have to say that your debate sounded much more interesting than the ones I have heard on the TV.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I'm much cuter than other candidates! ~Bear Cat

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  7. You have the perfect bait to fit in with this crazy election, Bear! And I love how you ended today's post...so sweet :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am a sweet boy. Just don't tell anyone but Mudpie ... I have street cred to uphold! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  8. That was a great debate! Bear, you'd be the purrfect president.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are a very handsome man cat. And your debate.... No hoomin would ever win a debate with a feline. If nothing else we change the rules on a dime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I learn this the hard way! ~Momma
      Thank you! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  10. I think "the bait" sounds much more interesting than a debate. This year's debates didn't have much debating going on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma will be happy when all the nonsense is over!

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