Monday, July 4, 2016

Sexty (I don't make this stuff up)

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Sexty (I don't make this stuff up):
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
MK: For ..... BEAR! I'm trying to take a picture of that stuff!
BC: Why would you want to take a picture of THAT, when you have a handsome kitty right here?
MK: You HATE when I take pictures of you!
BC: Err ... RATS!
MK: "THAT" is the stuff I got from the BlogPaws conference! Remember? I want to take a picture and catalogue all of it before we use it?
BC: Phht. We played with the wand toys and the sparkle balls already. And I opened up a can of whoop (BLEEP!) on that kick stick last night.
MK: Yes, I made exceptions. Not to mention your three day catnip high.
BC: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO catnip! Where's the catnip?
MK: In the bag. This is a photograph of the wellness and promotional items.
BC: Catnip IS wellness.
{Pause}
BC: What are you looking at in the picture box? Are there tasty whole chickens in there?
MK: Beeeeeeeeeeeeaarr, I'm trrrrrrrying to take pictures!
BC: There are! You have tasty whole chickens in your picture box and you aren't sharing them with me!!!
MK: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Give me a heart attack!
BC: Phht. If you were a cat, you'd still have eight lives left.
MK: Not if you counted all the bites and scratches and OTHER surprises you give me on a regular basis.
BC: Good point. In any interaction with a cat it's good to remember that we have nine lives and you humans only have one.
{Pause}
BC: You got a picture of my nose!
MK: You're right. That is a small miracle since I've never managed to get one before.
BC: Can I see the picture of my nose closer?
MK: {sigh} Okay.
BC: OOOOOOOOOH. That's a SEXXXXXY nose, don't you think?
MK: Well, it's kind of a blob ...
{Bear looks at Momma with THAT LOOK}
MK: ... but a sexy blob.
BC: Can I sext that picture?
MK: Whoa, whoa, WHOA! What do you know about "sexting?"
BC: Isn't that what cool cats do with their pictures?
MK: I don't know about that.
BC: Right. I guess you wouldn't. You're not a cat, much less a COOL cat. Do we have enough postage stamps to sext my friends?
MK: How about I put it in today's post?
BC: You mean my picture will be on the INTERNET?
MK: Yes. I don't see how that's a big deal, I've put ...
{Pause}
MK: NO pictures of you on the internet. At all. EVER.
BC: Will I get a tiara? Will putting this picture of my nose on the internet make me part of the sext industry? A Sexter? Because I'm sexty too! I'm not just sexy ... I'm SEXTY. Oh, oh! Wait! Wait ... for ... it ...
MK: Oh, no.
{Pause}
BC: TADA! {prancing back and forth}

I'm too sexty for my house,
I'm too sexty for my house,
Too sexty for my house,
Don't you think so, my little mouse?

I'm a handsome kitty, you know what I mean,
And I shake my little tail on the catwalk,
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah,
I shake my little tail on the catwalk.

I'm too sexty for my fur,
Too sexty for my fur,
Just listen to me PURRRRRR.

I'm too sexty for my mom,
Too sexty for my mom,
Ain't I just the mother-meowing bomb!

I'm a handsome kitty, you know what I mean,
And I shake my cute little butt on the catwalk,
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my cute little butt on the catwalk.

I'm too sexty for my claws,
Too sexty for my claws,
And too sexty even for my adorable paws!

I'm a handsome kitty, you know what I mean,
And I shake my little tail on the catwalk,
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little tail on the catwalk.

I'm too sexty for my tail,
Too sexty for my tail,
You can't measure my pounds of sexty on any scale!

I'm too sexty for my teeth,
Too sexty for my teeth,
You can't imagine the unbearable pain they bequeath! 

{Silence}
BC: Why aren't you clapping?
{Pause}
BC: Am I sexy?
MK: Oh, my head. I need some ibuprofen.
BC: I'm SEXTY!
MK: I quit.
BC: You still haven't clapped! My new tag line, "I'm Bear Cat. I'm not just SEXY, I'm SEXXXXXXX-TY."
MK: I like your tag line from when you wanted to be a cat rapper.
BC: Hey! You're the one that suggested it could be shortened to "crapper!"
MK: "I drop more than beats." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
BC: I'm NOT laughing. I'm going to take my sexty-ness where it's appreciated!
MK: Which would be where?
BC: I HATE YOU!

Does this nose look familiar? (aka Momma's heart attack)

Picture of the Day:
The other outtakes from Bear's "help" during the photo shoot of the "swag" we got at the conference. What's the blue owl-like thing? A timer Momma won in a workshop on time management because of her advice. Haha. She had them fooled - time management? Nope. She's good at giving advice, but not so much at taking her own advice.

Ummm ... WHAT are YOU?


Momma? What's it do? Don't worry, I've got my eye on it!!


Hello? Anyone home?


Do I smell CATNIP?!?!?!?


Featured post of the Day:
"Don't you just hate it when your Momma gushes and prattles and goes on and on about your cuteness? Especially when you're a tough, fully grown male cat! Talk about clipping one's wings! Cramping one's style! Sure I like the look of admiration on her face some times, and the well-timed ear rub ... but get a hold of yourself woman! Enough is enough!" ~Bear Cat

17 comments:

  1. Oh me cats Bear, mommy be gushin' over your tummy. She says it's a Lexi tummy, and takes her back. You are just sooooooooo handsum. Dat is a cute owl ya' got there. Mommy isn't very good at time managment either. MOL Hope ya'll are havin' a great day.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. Lexi sounds more and more gorgeous every time you talk about her :) No, I'm teasing - I've seen her pictures on your blog so I already KNOW how gorgeous she was. I'm sorry she's not here to cuddle with anymore. My Momma has me, but I know she still aches for Kitty sometimes - and it's been 10 years. I think that's why it gets her in the feels every time you mention Lexi - because she KNOWS that pain. We hope that tonight, Raena once again shows Dezi that fireworks ain't nothing to get excited about. I'll be under the bed.

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  2. Oh, Bear, your sexty song has left us quite speechless.
    (Possibly because we are out of breath from laughing SO hard. We love it!)

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    1. ps - It's technically not new ... it was part of http://mommakatandherbearcat.blogspot.com/2016/01/kitty-diva-or-pop-tart.html. And even before that, a version of it was one of the things I posted on my personal page that made my friends bug me to start a blog :)

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  3. Thanks, Bear! We're gonna be singing your sexty song all night long...much to the mom's dismay.

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    1. It's even better when you get the prance down!!! Flick your tail a bit at every turn. And OWN it. Drives Momma nuts to get my butt in her face and then whacked with my tail in her face :)

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  4. Peeps wasn't sure what sexty is... simple I said, it's what you are after you're fifty! purrs ERin ps. You have an owl! I have a pig (pink, naturally) maybe they could do an exchange visit sometime?

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    Replies
    1. An exchange? So my owl could learn English ... and your pig could learn ... err, English? Something's wrong here somewhere. You'd think a country that celebrates it's independence so extravagantly would at least invent its own language instead of continue the language of its previous tyranny (I don't know so much about tyranny but Momma says that's what they call it when she learned about the revolution in school). Then again, Americans are lazy. "Eh. We don't like your taxes, but we'll keep the language." Seems to me Americans SHOULD pay taxes to Britain to continue to use the language, right?

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    2. Ooh, peep thought you spoke American! No you don't want to pay taxes, I don't, but then I set the rules around the Palace. Live and let live I say, unless it's supper of course. I thought maybe a cultural exchange? campfire songs and spending some time to get to know the wider issues of... er... time keeping and recipes. purrs ERin

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    3. SMores are tasty :) Hmmm ... I have to wonder if the mice taste better here. And there's the whole issue of metric vs imperial measure ... plenty to learn in an exchange. BTW - my Momma loves mocking America in general - since our leaders act all big pant-sy and stuff. That was why she made the joke about both countries speaking English ... our leaders act all big pant-sy but can't manage anything unique (eesh, even imperial measure ... ENGLISH! - well at one time it was before you all got smart and went metric) :)

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    4. Definitely nothing metric in this Palace, not after I encountered the Metric Mice... so peeps is stuck in the golden days of Imperial feets and has an Imperial Princess. Me, I only really count in nine's, any more mice than that and i'm too full! purrs ERin

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  5. MOL! Bear, you're too funny! And I definitely prefer your version of the song over the original. What a cute nose you have. I wish I could kiss it! :-)

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    1. My nose DOES make the perfect sexting picture :)

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  6. You sexting pictures of your nose now, BC? Hmmm... I never thought of doin' that! You think the ladycats might find my nose sexy, too?

    Purrs,
    Seville

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    Replies
    1. Just make sure your peep isn't photobombing you in her new "evening wear" night stroll attire ;) TOTAL MOOD KILLER! ~Bear Cat

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