Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Laying down the law

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Laying down the law:
BC: Now, before you go to the BlogPaws conference, let's go over all the instructions again.
MK: I know! I know! Sheesh!
BC: One more time.
MK: Fine.
BC: Rule number one ... don't assume the sex of anyone's companion animal. You have a BAD, BAD history of guessing and assuming and let's just not insult any more furry friends. We don't have nearly enough as it is. Thanks to YOU, of course.
MK: You act like that happens all the time! Four times, Bear! FOUR TIMES!
BC: Yes. And since the rule was instituted, how many times have you prevented your foot from being shoved in your big beak by NOT assuming?
MK: HEY! It's not my fault! Toby, Kiwi, Dezi, Mason ... even FLYNN can be either sex. We know male and female versions of all of those names.
{Silence}
MK: {sigh} Agreed. No assuming the gender.
BC: Even?
MK: EVEN if I think I know.
BC: Rule number two ... don't ... umm ... be yourself.
MK: Wait! WHAT?!?! Who am I supposed to be?
BC: NOT you!
MK: But ...
BC: NOPE! Eesh. I should know. I have to live with you! Don't go stalking around taking pictures of people! Don't be annoying. TRY not to be nerdy. Did I mention DON'T BE ANNOYING? No singing. No dancing. No iniquities. No crying. No stealing others' desk chairs. Oh. And DON'T BE ANNOYING! For the love of Betsy, whoever Betsy is, ALWAYS WEAR PANTS! And DON'T be annoying.
MK: You act like I'm always annoying! I'm not annoying!
{Silence}
MK: {sigh} Don't be myself.
BC: AAAAAAAAAAAAANNND?
MK: Don't be annoying.
BC: Rule number three ...
MK: How many rules are there?
BC: Rule number three ... I'm an only child.
MK: WHAT?
BC: No brothers, no sisters, no brothers you think are sisters, no sisters you think are brothers ... NO NO NO. I'm an only child. I don't share. I don't negotiate. No.
MK: You act like it was so hard to share with Kitty! You didn't even share! You just took EVERYTHING!
BC: Exactly. I'm not putting up with any of that nonsense from a little pipsqueak. Capiche?
MK: Fine. No bringing home sisters or brothers.
BC: AND?
MK: No bringing home sisters I think are brothers or brothers I think are sisters.
BC: NUMBER FOUR. You represent ME. I am a male princess and I wear a tiara ...
MK: Well, technically ...
{Stare down}
MK: Good point. Act becoming of a male princess. With or WITHOUT a tiara.
BC: The status of the tiara is irrelevant. What matters is how you use the power conferred by the status relegated to you as a male princess.
MK: Represent you. Not me.
BC: Rule number five ... WIN THAT MEOWING AWARD!
MK: Well, I don't see how that's possible. It was determined before I even decided to go to the conference! There's nothing I can do to ...
{Silence}
MK: Bring home the BlogPaws 2016 Nose-to-Nose Pet Blogging and Social Media Award in the Best Pet Humor Blog category. But if I do, you can't touch it.
BC: Who makes the rules here?
MK: Well, you wouldn't want it to get broken! It's not a toy!
BC: My dear lady, EVERYTHING is a toy. ESPECIALLY the things you so selfishly claim are yours.
MK: Is that why my toothbrush is in the toilet?
BC: You're lucky MY toothbrush isn't in the ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
{Pause}
BC: We're done here. BYE!
MK: {mumbling to herself} How convenient.

Pictures of the Day:

Bear's all business when he makes his requests (err, I mean demands).

Featured post of the Day:
Remember when Bear set forth his "requests" for new management? From Momma to ***WINNING*** {Bear post}.

6 comments:

  1. Geez Bear, you forgot to tell your momma to enjoy herself! (I'll see you soon, Momma Kat!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY! ~MK
      HMPH. She can't enjoy herself if I'm not there. Just saying. ~BC

      Delete
  2. Oh me cats Bear, you have your mommy trained really well. And by da way, me's been called a boy lots of time. Me doesn't really let it bother me since mommy calls me Dezi 'stead of me's full name, Deztinee. But our mommy has made da same mistake many times with those generic and unisex names. What is it with peeps? Ya' know ifin they reserved judgement till they sniffed butts, we wouldn't have those mistakes. MOL We's sure your mommy will do fine at BP, really wish we could be there and meet her, but alas...Maybe next year. Have fun...both of ya'.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Momma claims it's hard to sniff butts over the webs. I just think humans' sense of smell isn't nearly as good as ours. Oh, no!?!? Did she call you a boy? I don't remember that one! FIVE times she's messed up if she did. Eesh. So hard to get good help these days :p

      Delete
  3. I hope your Momma has fun at Blog Paws. I am glad you laid down the law- you don't want her embarrassing you.

    ReplyDelete