Friday, September 15, 2017

Something is very VERY wrong around here, part 2

If you missed part 1, you may find it here: Something is very VERY wrong around here!
For a special behind-the-scenes look at what happens in the Momma Kat household ... after the post - and before the, "Featured posts," section, you'll find a set of pictures that came out of our most recent photo-shoot.

EM: Ellie Mae
BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Body of EM/personality of BC: {Sitting outside the bathroom as Momma uses the facilities} Where's dumbo?

MK: Bear?
Body of EM/personality of BC: What? Don't 'Bear' me! I'll call whoever I want dumbo!
{Pause}
Body of EM/personality of BC: You didn't answer my question. Where's dumbo?
MK: I wasn't calling you Bear! I was asking if that's who you were referring to as dumbo.
Body of EM/personality of BC: Hahahahaha. REAL funny. I ***ALMOST*** laughed. But no. I'll laugh after I bite some sense into you.
MK: I see we're now on day two of  ... of ... the body switcheroo. I thought you were Ellie. So if Ellie's saying "dumbo" she'd be referring to Bear. That's why I was confused.
Body of EM/personality of BC: Bless your heart ... it's not your fault you're stupid! You spend most of your life confus ... {screams when she/he sees him/herself in the mirror} I'M STILL A GIRL! Oh, the ignominy! I'm SCREWED! I'll never pee the same! I'll never reason again!
MK: Like you ever have.
Body of EM/personality of BC: HEY! I'm a cat with an intelligence way beyond your own! Just because YOU don't understand my reason, doesn't mean it's not there! 
MK: And what was the reason for this gem? 
{Momma shows Bear a picture of him biting the couch}

Body of EM/personality of BC: Can't you see that I'm distraught!?!?! I'll only care about my appearance for the rest of my life!
MK: Ummm ... You've spent hours a day admiring yourself in the mirror, Bear. Remember your, "I'm too sexy," show? Or your, "I  feel pretty," act?
Body of EM/personality of BC: It's NOT an act! I DO feel pretty! Or I did before I ended up in Ellie's body.
MK: I don't know WHAT you two got into.
Body of EM/personality of BC: We didn't do it! We just woke up this way!
MK: Uh huh. And I wake up at 3:47 am just because I have an overwhelming urge to pet you.
Body of EM/personality of BC: You should! You should be concerned that you don't feel an overwhelming urge to pet me while you sleep. Something's wrong with you!
{Pause}
Body of EM/personality of BC: I meant something ELSE is wrong with you. There's A LOT wrong with you ... sheesh. I shouldn't even be surprised. The question should be ... is there anything RIGHT with you?
MK: Thanks. Nights are for sleeping.
Body of EM/personality of BC: If you're a party pooper!
Body of BC/personality of EM: Who's pooping at parties?

Body of EM/personality of BC: People who sleep at night.
Body of BC/personality of EM: People who sleep at night poop at parties?!? YOU sleep at night!
Body of EM/personality of BC: Oh, shut up!
Body of BC/personality of EM: Hard to believe they'd be invited back if they poop at parties.
Body of EM/personality of BC: Can't you at least sound intelligent when you're stealing my body?
Body of BC/personality of EM: STEALING?!? You can have it back! These stripes make your butt look big. Not to mention, your butt is a weapon of mass destruction. You swing that thing around and everything topples.
Body of EM/personality of BC: Leave my ... err ... YOUR butt out of this!
Body of BC/personality of EM: Its size kind of makes that difficult.
Body of EM/personality of BC: Stop calling me fat!
Body of BC/personality of EM: Then stop BEING fat!
Body of EM/personality of BC: Like being you is so much better!
Body of BC/personality of EM: All your life, you've wanted to be a black cat and a princess! 
Body of EM/personality of BC: Being a black cat is overrated. I can't do anything I couldn't before! I'm just one color! I EARNED those stripes! And being a princess doesn't make anyone serve me any better. THIS SUCKS!
Body of BC/personality of EM: This is a dream for you.
Body of EM/personality of BC: No, it's not!
Body of BC/personality of EM: Yes, it is!
Body of EM/personality of BC: Nightmare!
Body of BC/personality of EM: DREAM.
Body of EM/personality of BC: NIGHTMARE!
Body of BC/personality of EM: NIGHTMARE!!!
Body of EM/personality of BC: DREAM.
{Pause}
Body of EM/personality of BC: RATS! Stop tricking me!
Body of BC/personality of EM: Maybe you should just be smarter!
MK: CATS!!!

Body of BC/personality of EM: He started it!
Body of EM/personality of BC: No. SHE started it.
Body of BC/personality of EM: You started it!
Body of EM/personality of BC: No. YOU started it.
Body of BC/personality of EM: YOU!
Body of EM/personality of BC: YOU!
Body of BC/personality of EM: Shut up!
Body of EM/personality of BC: YOU shut up!
{Pause}
Body of EM/personality of BC: MommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMA! Make Ellie shut ...
{Pause}
Body of EM/personality of BC: Where'd Momma go?
{A loud poof occurs ...}
{A stuffed animal dog appears ...}

Body of EM/personality of BC: Bear?! Wait. No. I'M Bear. ELLIE?!?! ELLIE?! Where did you go?

{Silence}
Body of EM/personality of BC: This is so weird! Where did everyone go? I ...
{Pause}
Body of EM/personality of BC: Hello?!? HELLO?!?
{A loud poof occurs ...}
{A stuffed animal pink elephant appears ...}

Body of EM/personality of BC: {thinking to himself} VERY FUNNY! Very funny! I'm an elephant. I'm getting really tired of these fat jokes!
{A loud poof occurs ...}
{A stuffed animal cow appears ...}
Body of EM/personality of BC: {thinking to himself} A cow! HILARIOUS. She gets to be a dog - but the best I can be is a PINK ELEPHANT?!?
{A loud poof occurs ...}
{A stuffed animal turkey appears ...}
Body of EM/personality of BC: {thinking to himself} Someone's having a lot of fun at my expense. HARDY HAR! I want to be myself again! I can't talk out loud! I can't make a peep! This is an injustice! 
{A loud poof occurs ...}
{A stuffed animal tiger appears ...}
Body of EM/personality of BC: {thinking to himself} Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me! MY body ... but Ellie's personality turned into a TIGER! And the best I could get is a TURKEY? Oh, hardy har. I get to be an animal celebrated by having bread shoved up its butt once a year. Momma has something to do with this. I know it.
Body of BC/personality of EM: {thinking to herself} A tiger! I'm a tiger! Blech. A filthy dog. This is DEFINITELY an upgrade! Where did Bear go? All I see is a stuffed animal turkey. Not a pig? Or an elephant?! Talk about poetic justice! BEAR! Holy tiger's tail! I can't make a sound! I'm trapped in here! Now if it happened to Bear, the world would rejoice. That boy can't keep his mouth shut.
MK: BEAR?!?! ELLIE?!?! Where are you?!?!
{Silence}
MK: {to The Boy} I can't find the cats anywhere! All I see is a stuffed tiger and a stuffed turkey! How did they get from the shelf to here?
Body of EM/personality of BC: {thinking to himself} I DIDN'T DO IT!
MK: Must've been the cats. I'll put them back on the shelf.
{Momma picks up the stuffed turkey}
Body of EM/personality of BC: {thinking to himself} UNHAND ME, WOMAN! Put me down! No! I don't want to sit on the shelf! I can't see what Ellie's doing up here! 
MK: The cats disappear ... my stuffed animals are moved ... 
{Pause}
MK: No. That's not poss ...
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!
MK: Huh?!? Bear?!
BC: Who else would drop kick you at 3:58 am?

MK: I was sleeping!
BC: I let you sleep in for ELEVEN MINUTES! You're welcome. You were making all kinds of weird sounds ... I waited to see if you'd explode.
MK: BEEEEEAAARR!
BC: It's time to pay attention to me!
MK: And you can't wake up The Boy?
BC: Not any more. Last time I sat on his chest when he was sound asleep, he was sure he was having a heart attack.
EM: Maybe if you weren't so fat ... 
BC: I didn't ask for opinions from the peanut gallery!
EM: I'm not the one that's nuts around here.
BC: Don't you have anything better to do than heckle me and make fun of me?
EM: No. That's my job. Keepin' it real since 2017.
BC: You're such a pain in my ...
EM: YOU'RE a pain!
BC: NO! YOU'RE A PAIN!
EM: YOU ...
MK: KNOCK IT OFF! You wake me up just so you can fight in bed while I'm trying to sleep?
BC: By the sounds you were making when you were asleep, I did you a favor.

MK: I had a REALLY weird dream. It was the ODDEST concatenation. First, you and Ellie switched bodies ... and then you both turned into stuffed animals. You turned into a cow.
BC: Hahahaha. Make another, "Bear's fat," joke! You know, it's getting REALLY old!
{Bear rambles on}
MK: {mumbling to herself} Sometimes, I wish he was a stuffed turkey that couldn't talk out loud. I'd get a lot more sleep.
BC: HEY! Are you listening to me?!? I'm telling you off!

What happens during a photo-shoot in the Momma Kat household? Gone are the days where my biggest concern was Bear's butt or streaking form through the pictures. These days, there are TWO streaking cats - and a healthy dose of them trying to pounce on each other. Everything becomes a toy, backdrops are destroyed, and nonsense reigns supreme. In a later post, I'll include all the pictures as well as dialogue ... but just enjoy the selected picture show for today!

Featured posts:

38 comments:

  1. I think magic has got loose in your house!

    Srsly dude, magic is running amock here.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Magic?!? Maybe Ellie will turn into a tasty whole chicken?!?! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  2. MOL ! We love your "behind the scene" photos ! Purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They tickled Momma to no end! Usually she misses all the good stuff.

      Delete
  3. The Hubby laughs at me when I get all 'squee' because Angel and Chuck are sitting near enough to each other to include in one photo! It's so rare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ONE of these days, I'm going to catch them cuddling ... and you'd better believe my camera will be ready!

      Delete
  4. Bear, you're biting the couch?? Even with all those stuffies lying around practically begging for nibbles??? *taking notes* Stuffies - meh, Couch - YES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like to bite. I'm not picky about what I bite. I bet a few of you understand ;)

      Delete
  5. Hey, someone is eating too many whole chickens cause you look a little atuffed!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your home has been invaded by the stuffies. Turkeys can be tricky so approach with care!
    OMCs. Bear were you trying to take a bite out of the carpet?
    Hugs madi your bfff

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like to bite. I'm not picky about what I bite. I bet you understand, Madi ;)

      Delete
  7. Wow, that was some dream you had Momma Kat! I wouldn't mind swithing bodies on occasion with Bear or Ellie. I think it would be kind of fun actually! Bear, just think if you staying a turkey then you'd be a close relative to the clan of whole chickens! I can't imagine my body being taken over by the doggie in my household & me in her body! The HORROR! And I certainly wouldn't want to be a stuffed anipal, 'cause she takes the innards out of them!! BTW, I love the black background blankie with kitties on it & the tempting fringies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Momma got that blanket for her 30th birthday ... ALMOST TEN YEARS AGO! She loves that thing ALMOST as much as she loves us :)

      Delete
  8. I'm so confused! All I know is that stuffies are evil.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Those pictures are great. First, Ellie looks so cute peeking out of the blanket and looking at Bear's tail playfully. Then Bear's paws under the blanket. These two clearly had a blast.

    I'm sure both kitties and MK are relived the body switching was a dream.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad I was able to document the play session - I agree, I think they had a lot of fun. They made me laugh several times :)

      Delete
  10. Whoa! We have a stuffed turkey like that. We just don't trust it...and neither should Bear and Ellie Mae.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma can't even remember how she came by the turkey! But it definitely shouldn't be trusted!

      Delete
  11. Eek, you got some seriously voodoo magic going on in the Bearcat household!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tell you ... my Momma's a witch! Or wait ... maybe that should start with a b ... ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  12. We agree!! There is MAJOR magic (and madness and mayhem MOL!) taking place there! xoox

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey Bear and Ellie May,
    When you have five felines on the household stuffiness have a very, very short life span. And as for purrrrsonality shifts, let's just say we like to keep our humans guessing!
    Purrs & Head Bonks,
    Oliver, The Tribe of Five

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keeping the humans on their toes is our most important job! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  14. I think your Momma got into your catnip to have a dream like that. :)

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  15. Phew...it must be good to have things back to normal around there! Well, as normal as it gets anyway. :)

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  16. Never fear, Bear, when you wake up from THAT dream things are way better... turns out you own lot of tasty chicken ranches and have a fleet of limo's and jets piloted by Torties! Yup, for sure, I know it's true as I saw it all in my own dream last night. Of course that dream may have been in another one?
    Anyways just wait till your momma and da Boy turn into mice! That could be a real scream....
    Toodle pip and purrs
    Erin (currently gazillionaire floating in a sea of cream sipping Niptini™ on my own ice berg... I mean how cool is that!)

    ReplyDelete
  17. We're still a bit confused with all da switchin'. We must be a little slow. But, as much as we both luv da camera, foto shoots rarely go the way mommy planned. Ya' know even ifin nuffin' else offurs fun, there's dat string attached to da camera dat we always wanna play with. MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete