Thursday, June 23, 2016

Bear's job

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Bear's job:
BC: Momm ...
{Pause}
BC: NEVER MIND!!!
MK: Wait, what?!?!
BC: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!
MK: Don't want to know WHAT?
BC: You're obviously BUSY with your iniquitous activities.
MK: What are you talking about?
BC: I don't want to know why the first thing I saw when I walked into the room was you waving a bra around. I'll be under the bed until you're done.
MK: I wasn't WAVING it around!!!
BC: Semantics don't matter. I don't want to know!!!
MK: I'm altering it! Sewing!
BC: I DON'T CARE!!! If your bra is not ON YOUR BODY, under your shirt ... I DON'T CARE! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!
MK: You act like I'M the one running around talking about being sexy and demanding that people acknowledge how sexy I am!
BC: You're just jealous because you're not sexy.
MK: Then stop accusing me of iniquitous behavior!
BC: Then stop doing ... doing ... hmm. You have no life.
MK: EXACTLY!
{Pause}
MK: You set me up, didn't you?
BC: Hehehehehe. 
MK: Cuddles?
BC: Not until you put your undergarments where they belong.
MK: This isn't the bra that I'm wearing!
BC: Well I think THAT'S obvious!
MK: No. I meant ... oh hell. Never mind. I'd show you, but ...
BC: MIND BLEACH! LOTS of mind bleach!!!
{Pause}
BC: Never mind. There's not enough mind bleach in the world for that.
MK: Says the cat that's always barging in on me in the bathroom.
BC: I have to see if anything's going on of which I'd like to partake.
MK: Like iniquitous activities?
BC: SO YOU ADMIT IT!
MK: {sigh} Nooo. I was commenting on the types of activities of which you'd like to partake.
BC: I've never seen you empty the shelves above the toilet into the toilet. And I've never seen you bat things into the toilet either. Though I have seen you flush the toilet, so maybe you got rid of the evidence. {GASP!!!}
BC: YOU!
MK: What? Me what?
BC: Remember when the toilet was clogged?
MK: How could I ever forget?
BC: Last month ... two times the month before ... I get it! YOU were the one clogging it up! 
MK: What?
BC: I bet that's where you put all the cat treats you don't feed me!
MK: Why would I buy cat treats and then flush them down the toilet?
BC: I don't know! Why would you?
MK: Bear. You know how the toilet got clogged.
BC: NO! I know who you BLAMED. There's a BIG difference.
MK: Why would I clog the only toilet in this house, such that I couldn't use it? You wouldn't foul up your litter box on purp ... OH! But you DO foul up your litter box on purpose.
BC: I don't know ...
MK: Yep. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. after I scoop your litter box, you have to go right away. You almost shove me out of the way to get in there, JUST so you can mark your territory.
BC: If my litter box doesn't smell like me, idiots might use it!
MK: What IDIOTS?
BC: The idiots who clog their own toilet with cat treats so they need to use my facilities!
MK: How many times have I used your litter box?
BC: How's that relevant? You don't use my facilities because I make sure they smell like me!
MK: You're ridiculous.
BC: Says the person who's sitting there waving a bra around like she discovered gold.
MK: I'm ALTERING it because the band is too big, you huge pain in the butt!
BC: That ain't the only thing that's too big around here.
MK: Your attitude? Your bearish, atrabilious attitude?
BC: I'm just living up to my name!
MK: Pain in the butt?
BC: Hardy-har-har .... NOT funny. Don't you have something better to do than annoy me?
MK: You're the one that walked in the room!
BC: You're right. I DO have something better to do.
MK: Uh oh.
{Pause}
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!!!!
{CRASH!!!!}
{BOOM}
BC: Hehehehehe ... oh, crap.
MK: {sigh}.
BC: Wow. That exceeded even my expectations.
MK: Yeah. I didn't need that thing that's now shattered on the floor. Thanks.
BC: {Blowing on his paw hanging in the air} Just doing my job.

Pictures of the Day:

Bear knows he's handsome ... and he's not ashamed to use his looks to his advantage.

Featured post of the Day:
Bear Cat LOVES an audience ... he frequently struts around for me to admire him and also makes sure I'm watching him before he does something he's not supposed to do. Bear also constantly demands something: attention, love, food, play time, outside ... he's a cat and he KNOWS what he wants. He's perfected his stare so that I can't miss the obvious glare of disappointment and dissatisfaction ... and I'm constantly aware that I ignore him at my own peril. If you've ever read about the demands entertainers, or "stars," make on tour, imagine what a very persnickety, diva-like cat would ask for, in addition to his daily usual demands. Unfortunately, Momma doesn't always cooperate. With Bear's flair for the dramatic, life is just one performance after another. Luckily, Bear has no shortage of adoring fans (including Momma) ... even if those adoring fans at other times are known as infidels ... and are issued challenges by Mr. Tough Pants (and again, Momma is the frequent object of his displeasure). Read more in: Kitty Diva or Pop "Tart?"

2 comments:

  1. So you are one of those types that has to get right into the litter- I have one of those too. You are such a cutie, those are great photos.

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