Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Excessive handsomeness

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat



Daily conversation - Excessive handsomeness (Tiger's Pride - part 2):
MK: Do de do ... de do ... {Momma turns around}.
MK: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: BEAR! Why are you LURKING behind me?
BC: I wasn't LURKING. I was waiting for you to finish in the bathroom!
MK: What can I do for you?
BC: I'll take twenty tasty whole chickens.
MK: This isn't a drive through!
BC: OBVIOUSLY. I don't drive. And you never asked if I want fries with that.
MK: I didn't mean "what can I do for you" literally. Why were you waiting for me?
BC: I wasn't waiting for YOU. I was waiting to use the bathroom mirror.
MK: Oh.
BC: You ***almost*** stepped on me!
MK: You ***almost*** gave me a heart attack!
BC: I did not!
MK: What?!?!?
BC: I kept my claws and my fangs to myself. Even though a reasonable person would say I was justified in attacking you to protect myself. I can still attack your heart if you want.
MK: Bear ... you were sitting behind me SILENTLY. How would I know you were there?
BC: Ummm ... WATCH where you're going?
MK: Bear ... you're four feet shorter than me the way you were sitting and you were less than two feet behind me.
BC: I'll take those tasty whole chickens now.
MK: Excuse me?
BC: You called me short. I need tasty whole chickens to get tallerer.
MK: No. Those tasty whole chickens would make you bigger - but not vertically.
BC: How do you know?
MK: What have you been telling me about the doughnuts?
BC: That's why your pants are ... and your butt is ...
{Pause}
BC: Oh. But that's the TRUTH!
{Pause}
BC: Are you done with the mirror?
MK: I was just washing my hands.
BC: Did I ask WHAT you're doing? NO! I asked ... are you done?
MK: Yes. I find your obsession with the mirror oddly ironic given your first reaction to your reflection in the mirror.
BC: I AM sexy, you know!
MK: You don't remember the mirrored closet doors in the second bedroom?
BC: I have no idea what you're talking about.
MK: It was right after we moved in here ... I was putting together a book case ... you saw yourself in the mirror ...
BC: {sigh} I swooned. Because I'm just THAT handsome. Sometimes even I can't handle it. I see myself ... and THUNK! ... OUT. Slayed by my excessive handsomeness. And my sexy tail.
MK: As I remember it, you jumped when you saw your reflection ... meowed at yourself a few times ... paced back and forth ... and then charged the mirror.
BC: I don't know ...
MK: Then when you hit the mirror, you poofed up like someone had just attacked you and you did the arch-y back dance to each side before charging again.
BC: Liar. I saw an ogre in the mirror. Just remembering it send chills up my spine! You'd poof up too if you saw an ogre standing behind you in the mirror!
MK: HEY! That was ME in the mirror.
BC: Well, yes, I suppose not everyone can be THIS handsome and THIS sexy. I really outdo myself, don't I? You can't blame me for poofing up when I see something scary in the mirror. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: You charged the mirror THREE TIMES Bear. I tried to get you to stop and I finally quit what I was doing to play with you in another room so you'd be distracted and stop trying to knock yourself out.
BC: I have that affect on the ladies. They don't know WHAT hit them.
{Pause}
BC: But what you said never happened. I saw myself and swooned. Just imagine the ladies' reaction with my little extra somethin' somethin' tail!

MK: Your very own Tiagra! Those pictures are vaguely pornographic.
BC: Is it "state the obvious" day? Pictures ARE pornographic.
MK: Photographic.
BC: WHATEVER! Like I can keep track of all your stupid humans' words! The proof is in the gravy.
MK: What?
BC: THE PICTURES!
MK: What's that have to do with gravy?
BC: What DOESN'T have to do with gravy?!?! 
{Pause}
BC: {sigh} Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you?
MK: I guess.
BC: You humans say that all the time! "The proof is in the gravy."
MK: Pudding.
BC: Mudding.
MK: Jello.
BC: Cello.
MK: Custard.
BC: Flustered.
MK: Good one.
BC: Wood fun.
MK: NO ...
BC: Grow.
MK: No. Bear ...
BC: Grow pair.
MK: That's hilarious coming from you.
{Pause}
MK: Never mind.
BC: Sever behind.
MK: STOP!
BC: FLOP!
{Silence}
BC: Are you done with the mirror?
MK: Knock yourself out.
{Silence}
BC: THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!!! I tell you ... I SWOONED!
{Pause}
BC: RATS!

Pictures of the Day:
Bear is super handsome. And he knows it too!




Featured posts of the Day:

22 comments:

  1. That conversation sounds about right my handsome friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew a handsome mancat like you would understand! ~Bear Cat

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  2. I can't share these pictures with Miss Olive. Bear, I love that picture of you in the window!

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    Replies
    1. RATS! Maybe you can share the window picture?!?! ~Bear Cat

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  3. I noticed how your peep cunningly deflected away from those tasty whole chickens! Anyways they say a house without mirrors stops the occupants from being vane.... personally I do think it just means the peep is clumsy and has broken them all! Anyways you don't need a mirror when you have your inner charm, Bear. purrs ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spoken like a true princess! ~Bear Cat
      ps - I don't get it ... if I looked like she does ... I'd avoid mirrors like the plague ;)

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  4. Bear, buddy. I gotta say you are the champion of comebacks! Good job, keeping your hoomon on her toes. And while I'm a guy cat like you... I have to agree, you got once handsome puss. Bet all the girls want to smell your butt. Just saying... Purrs! Herman!!!

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    Replies
    1. {GASP} Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Do I get to smell their butts too? ~Bear Cat

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  5. You are very sexy. Your Momma asks what she can do for you and then won't even get you one tasty chicken? That is so wrong. We mailed you something today so hopefully it will arrive by Thursday.

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  6. Tiagra...I love it! Soon to be advertised on televisions nationwide, right? :)

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  7. Tiagra does sound vaguely risque! And then there is that enlarged tail photo...we had better keep this post from our innocent girls' eyes/ears...;p

    And yes, Bear is handsome and clever and deserves a chicken or three :)

    the critters in the cottage xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Whoa! How'd you get your tail to do that, Bear???

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  9. I definitely swoooooooooooned when I saw these handsome pictures.

    XOXO, Rosie

    P.S.: I will take some fries with my chicken, too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have good taste ... in cats ... and in snacks ;) ~Bear Cat

      Delete