Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ...

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat


Daily conversation - Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ... :
MK: We need to have a talk, Bear.
BC: Is it going to be something like, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ...?"
MK: Well, no. I just want to understand ...
BC: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
MK: Bear ...
BC: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
MK: Knock that ...
BC: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
MK: HEY!
BC: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
MK: BEAR!
BC: You've reached Bear Cat ... this machine only hears, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." BEEP!
MK: Treats ...
BC: Where??!?!
MK: Interesting.
BC: Where are the treats?
MK: Why aren't you using your cat tree anymore?
BC: TREATS!?!?!?
{Pause}
BC: You took out six treats and only gave me three!
MK: Cat tree?
BC: TREATS?!?!
MK: Cat tree?
BC: I don't remember.
MK: Neither do I.
BC: RATS!
MK: Cat tree?
BC: Dog.
MK: You're not using your cat tree anymore because of the dog that now lives upstairs?
BC: Treats.
MK: Here ...
{Pause as Bear eats}
BC: Treats.
MK: Nope. That's it.
BC: Only SIX? Cheapskate! I don't come cheap, you know!
MK: I'm waiting. 
BC: {sigh} When I'm on the perches of my cat tree, that makes me closer to the dog. I prefer to be as far away as possible. Like say, under the bed.
MK: But he can't hurt you through the ceiling.
BC: Whatever. Dogs are rather dull, but they're also really tricky.
MK: Is that also why you're not playing as much with me during play time?
BC: I hear the dog moving. And FARTING. How unsophisticated.
MK: YOU fart.
BC: But you never hear it so you can't be sure it's me.
MK: The silent killer.
BC: I bet that's the dog's name.
MK: It's unfortunate that you don't climb anymore ... not even to get on the counters.
BC: Blame it on the silent killer.
MK: But you lose your favorite sleeping spots!
BC: That's what your desk chair and your bed are for.
MK: "YOUR?"
BC: RATS!
{Pause}
BC: I'm so nervous I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I like big butts and the doctor can't lie.
MK: Your doctor says you're not missing any meals.
BC: I don't like big butts that take up a lot of room. Like your ... ummm ... crap.
MK: Bear, there's no reason to be scared of the dog. 
BC: Phht. Scared. I'm not SCARED. I just prefer to not be in the dog's company.
MK: Is that why you run under the bed every time he barks?
BC: I ... err ... umm ... REALLY MAD! I HATE YOU! Are TRYING to make me look like a sissy? My tortie lady friend READS this blog!!! Are you TRYING to ruin my chances with her?!?!
MK: Bear ...
BC: What about your Kit Kat habit? HUH? Or your new doughnut habit? Or the time a couple weeks ago when we had to have a conversation because you weren't eating enough?
MK: Bear ...
BC: How do you think THE BOY would feel knowing you talk to other boys?
MK: WHAT?!?! What are you talking about?
BC: You talk to me!
MK: You make it sound like I talk to other human boys.
BC: I didn't actually SAY that, now did I? Therefore, what I said is not a lie. You talk to me. I'm a boy. You talk to other boys. 
MK: Cats ... the masters in the art of the technicality.
BC: Does he know about your big butt? Because it's nearly impossible to share a chair with you.
MK: BEAR! 
BC: Are you done "blah-ing" for today? Because if you keep talking, I might fall asleep. Unless, of course, there's a "treats" in there.
MK: Bear's big belly listens ... the rest of the cat? Not so much.
BC: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
MK: Tortie.
BC: WHERE?

Momma's list of words to make the cat run:
  1. "Treats!" (or food) - toward the food bowl, then the pantry, then back to the food bowl again ... over and over ... until the treats magically appear in his bowl.
  2. "Outside!" - toward the front door.
  3. "Inside!" - into the rosebush so Momma can't grab him.
  4. "Snuggles!" - toward the couch (caveat - while the cat runs as fast as he can to a few feet away from the couch, he then slams on the brakes when he remembers himself ... and then looks around casually like he's not sure how he got there ... licks himself a few times ... looks out the window ... walks around in a few circles and then meanders back to the couch like cuddling with his Momma JUST occurred to him).
  5. "Play!" - toward the family room and his favorite toy.
  6. "Are you Momma's handsome boy?" - as far away from Momma as possible.
Pictures/Featured posts of the Day:
*** To learn more about Bear's cat tree ... Meowing Up The Wrong Tree? (& Lots of Pictures).
*** The upstairs neighbor's dog was introduced in ... "On the neighbor's dog" from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 25.
*** You may read about Momma getting in trouble for her unhealthy behavior in ... T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
*** Bear's big belly often gets the best of him ... give him a couple treats and the annoying picture box isn't quite so annoying anymore ... not to mention the short window of cooperation when a pose with a prop is required for a post.




  • From Why Is Bear Suing Momma (AGAIN)!?!?!? ... This is a horrid picture ... unusable for anything but showing how Momma lured Bear so that she could get a picture of him with the prop.

12 comments:

  1. Aaaaaaaaw Bear, you are a cutey. Sorry dat you had a doggy move in dat bothers you. Maybe you can give him da ole whacky paw and let him know you're da boss. Maybe a little bachs or Jackson Galaxy stress relievers might help. Or maybe just time. Me had quit spendin' time on me's cat tree cuz of Raena. But recently, me's been assertin' meself more and more and takin' me's spot back on da cat tree. She ain;t likin' it none,. but hey, me's da queen here. Bit kitty hugs comin' your way.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you took back your proper place in your house! Why do I feel sorry for Raena just a tiny bit even though I know she was the one who started it all?!?! Momma's been looking at stress relievers ... she's hoping she won't have to try them and I'll just get used to the dog. ~Bear Cat

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  2. Bear, would you believe *three* dogs live next door to us??? And their yappy little things too! --Mudpie

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    1. Whoa. You must be super tough!!! Then again, you're a tortie ;) ~Bear Cat

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  3. Dogs are scary, I don't blame you Bear.

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  4. We live with dogs, Bear. And we rule over them. Every. Single. Day.

    the cats at the cottage xo

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  5. We're sorry there's a loud woofie above you, Bear. How annoying! We have one next door. She's big, but pretty quiet and calm.

    Hugs to you and Momma Kat!

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  6. Bear, at least you don't have a dog living IN your house with you! My three cats have to put up with a dog in the house! Can you believe it?

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    Replies
    1. Hmph. Why would you need a dog with three cats?!?!?! ~Bear Cat

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