Thursday, August 4, 2016

Drawing the line

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat


Daily conversation - Drawing the line (Come out and play - part 2):
BC: I'm drawing the line, Momma!
MK: What?
BC: The vacuum! I'm drawing a line that he's not allowed to cross.
MK: Ummm ... Bear ... you don't have to actually draw a line, it's meant figuratively.
BC: Well, this way they'll be no confusion. See my sign?

MK: You and your signs. "Evility" isn't a word, Bear.
BC: Is too! It's a special word for excessive evilness. Like a vacuum.
MK: What's the vacuum done that's evil?
BC: He eats my fur! Sometimes he grabs one of my toys and you have to pry it out of his ferocious and vicious jaws!

MK: Bear, he's SUPPOSED to suck up your fur. Or the fur you've shed anyway. Otherwise you'll just ingest more fur and have hairballs.
BC: I'm not fooled! This is the line he's not allowed to cross!


MK: That doesn't seem fair! He just gets the entry way and you get the rest of the house!
BC: Who said anything about fair? I'm a cat.
MK: I couldn't say it any better myself.
BC: Obviously. I'm a cat. A human can't do anything better than a cat can.
MK: Exactly.
BC: Whose side are you on anyway? You'd choose a ding-a-ling bagel-snuffer over your cute and sweet little kitty cat?
MK: Sweet? Little? Hahahaha.
{Pause}
BC: HEY, Mr. Evil Punk goat-dater, @$$crust-sucker! Time to face off and separate the men from the boys! Here's the demarcation line! Cross it and ... and ... umm ... err ... my Momma will do ... do ... unspeakable things to you! Take THAT!
MK: {laughing just a bit too hard} Mr. Tough Pants, a demarcation line implies agreement by both parties of a boundary, yet I'm pretty sure the vacuum had nothing to do with the determination of this boundary.
BC: He WINKED at me! I refuse to be disrespected in my own home!
MK: Don't you find it just the slightest bit ironic that you're talking about separating the men and the boys and then making a threat of what your Momma is going to do? 
BC: {flashing Momma a withering look} I'm so glad you find this level of evility funny! This goose-hole, frog-eating, jack@$$-humper is out to take over my empire.
MK: Or it might just be cleaning up after the fur and litter you track around.
BC: You act like my fur is nothing but common dirt! My plumage is grade AAA+, super-prime.
MK: You just made that up. 
BC: So? Are you telling me I'm wrong?
MK: No.
BC: That's what I thought. The vacuum has been put on notice.
MK: That I'm going to hurt it if it crosses your line?
BC: Surely that's not a question.
MK: Bear, the vacuum's never hurt you.
BC: Tell that to my fur.
MK: Bear's fur? Are you listening? The vacuum's never hurt you!
BC: Hardy-har-har. You know what I meant. 
MK: Well, since YOU refuse to listen, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try to get your fur to listen.
BC: Don't you have something better to do that bug me?
MK: You mean like beating up the vacuum for you?
BC: You might as well make yourself useful.
MK: You mean other than feeding you and scooping your litter box and playing with you and petting you?
BC: You make it sound like I'm high maintenance!
MK: There's a reason I tell people that between you and my father I have enough high maintenance males in my life.
BC: And yet, you're still talking to a boy.
MK: Well, yes. 
BC: Boys can't be trusted, you know!
MK: He's pretty special.
BC: Hmph. I'M pretty special!
MK: It's not a competition, Bear. My heart's big enough for both of you.
BC: Bear doesn't share!!!
MK: What if you get an extra person to play with you and scratch your back?
BC: Hmph. I'll have to think about it. 
{Pause}
BC: {narrowing his eyes} You're mine.
MK: Okay.
BC: As I demonstrated with the vacuum, I know how to draw lines around here.
MK: Fair enough.
BC: Are these quality back scratches?
MK: Probably.
BC: Do they come with tasty whole chickens?
MK: No.
BC: RATS! Can't blame a cat for trying.

The "other" side of Mr. Tough Pants ... Momma and Bear cuddling ...





Featured posts of the Day:
*** Come out and play - part 1.
*** "The boy" was introduced in The boy.
*** Did you miss Bear's past encounters with the vacuum?
        "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 21 (On disguises - part 2, the dog).

        "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 1 (
On the vacuum).

17 comments:

  1. Grade AAA+, super-prime, huh? Sounds like you're missing out on a small fortune by letting that evil vacuum gobble up your fur, I bet it's on commission....Maybe it's time to have a change of cleaning contract? purrs ERin

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    Replies
    1. PS An extra set of peep hands sounds exciting, and could be just what you need for tasty chicken wrangling... best have an audition and see. purrs from your pal, ERin

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    2. As always, you are BRILLIANT, Erin! I actually feel a bit sorry for your peep ... I'm guessing he gets a lot more than he bargains for :) And you provide unlimited laughter and entertainment for the rest of us! ~Bear Cat

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    3. Aww thank you, Bear. Someone has got to keep peep getting up in the morning, and mouse or two always makes things go quicker! Ironically peep provides me with a lot of entertainment (and bewilderment) too. purrs ERin

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    4. Hahaha. True. My Momma falls over in her desk chair and walks into things regularly ;)

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  2. Evility is everywhere if you start looking for it, Bear! But especially in a vacuum cleaner...we totally agree. . . the line has to be drawn! :D

    the critters in the cottage xo

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  3. Great photos Bear, you are so adorable. Why would your Mom want to vacuum up your beautiful furs? Doesn't she want to have it all around?

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    1. Thank you! And you're right. She SHOULD treasure my fur. HMPH. No appreciation! ~Bear Cat

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  4. Evility - I like it, Bear! So you're also going to be drawing a line with this special boy, I take it? You know, you said that boys can't be trusted, but you're a boy cat. Can you be trusted?

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    Replies
    1. Shhhh. My Momma didn't pick up on that (or she let it hang because it was ironically funny). And no. I can't be trusted. :)

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  5. Aaaaaaaaw Luvvin' with da mommy is da bestest, ain;t it Bear?. Our cawrpet monster isn't really scary and it does make quick work of da messes Mommy makes. You know Raena and me don't make messes. We mean to track dat litter and leave treat and food pawticals on da floor fur later. As fur all dat fur we's leave 'round, it'll help keep our furless mommy warm come winter. Have fun.

    PeeEss: We nominated ya'll fur an award. Ifin ya' don;t do awards, dat's okay, we just wanted to let you and everypawdy else know how special ya'll are to us. https://dezizworld.com/2016/08/05/brotherhood-of-the-world/

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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  6. I hope Bear never finds out that it is the mom that makes the vacuum go.

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