Thursday, June 30, 2016

Existent-ial (Intervention - part 2)

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Existent-ial (Intervention - part 2):
BC: Can I have another intervention?
MK: Why?
BC: Like it's not OBVIOUS!
MK: It's not.
BC: Hmph. You wouldn't understand because you're not cool. Surely another intervention would increase my street cred. "Oh, you know ... at my SECOND intervention they served snacks ..."
MK: You are a strange cat.
BC: Can you?
MK: Can I what?
BC: Serve refreshments at my next intervention? I've had the munchies since you brought home all that catnip from the BlogPaws conference.
MK: Or you could just cut back on the nip.
BC: Why would I want to do that?
MK: I'm sorry I even got roped into this conversation.
BC: ESPECIALLY if the nip earns me a second intervention. One more notch in my ... my ... err ... collar?
MK: I think you have the wrong idea about interventions "earning" you anything. I think it's more like a positive punishment.
BC: How can a punishment ever be positive?
MK: No. That's the psychological ...
BC: Unless a lady cat comes to visit and wants to "punish" me. HEEEEE-EEEY! "Why yeeeeeeees, I would LOOOOOOOVE to be punished by you!"

MK: What is your obsession with lady cats? It's not like you'd go to bed with them. You flip out whenever they're in your general vicinity and there's not a window to protect you.
BC: Of course not! What CATsanova would snuggle with his lady friend in the human's bed? Imagine! "Hey, sexy! Want to check out my teats in my Momma's bed?" LOSER! That's what my bachelor cat condo is for. Though I think a blinged out cat hammock would be better suited for these activities. 
MK: If you think "check out my teats" belongs in a pick-up line, you have bigger problems than where you do your business.
BC: What's wrong with my teats? Have you ever checked out my teats? They're pretty sexy.
MK: Wait. You think "going to bed" means SNUGGLING in a bed?
BC: What ELSE would I do with a lady cat in bed? Sing and play the tambourine?
MK: Why do we have these conversations?
BC: Because you always respond to me when I say something!
MK: I didn't mean that LITERALLY.
BC: Literally, figuratively, whatever a-ly, if you don't answer me, we wouldn't have these conversations.

MK: Bear ...
BC: And just yesterday, you were complaining that I was having conversations with inanimate or non-existent things! I can't talk to you ... I can't talk to purple feet ... I can't talk to the camel ... I can't talk to the sparkle ball!
MK: You can talk to them all you want, but they won't answer.
BC: Unlike you.
MK: Hmmm.
BC: Besides, have you ever tried to talk to purple feet or the camel? How do you know they won't respond?
MK: Because they don't exist in the first place!
BC: How do you know they don't exist? Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they don't exist. 
MK: You know what? I DON'T CARE if they are real or not. And I don't even care whether they can "actually" respond or not!
BC: Well, that's not nice! Wouldn't it hurt your feelings to not even be acknowledged?
{Silence}
BC: Err .... RATS!
MK: Just noticed you spend most of your time not acknowledging my existence? 
{Silence}
MK: Hello?
BC: Why hello, Mr. Camel. May I show you my selection of sexilicious male teats? Would you like to touch them? How about if I roll on my back? Sexy, right? Go ahead! Touch them! They don't bite.
MK: I can't believe I'm listening to this.
BC: Oh, Momma?
MK: I DO exist!
BC: Whatever.
MK: What do you want?
BC: I don't ONLY talk to you when I want something!
MK: Yes, Mr. Sexilicious male teats?
BC: I think you should buy a bed.
MK: I have a bed.
BC: But this ad says this one comes with something free! A free one night stand.
MK: Let me see that! That's a nightstand. It's a piece of furniture. You buy a bed, you get a free nightstand.
BC: Yellow! Five! Dog! Uuuuuuuuupstairs!
MK: Catnip should be banned. 
BC: I'll give up my cat nip when you give up your Kit Kats!
MK: By the time these conversations are over, I can't help but suspect I'M tripping!
BC: Heeeeeeeeelllo DOCTOR!
MK: OWWW! Let go!
BC: S-E-X-I-L-I- .... APPLE!
MK: I find it interesting that one second you're completely normal and the next, you're being crazy.
BC: You'd think you'd take the hint to LEAVE ME ALONE ... Crazy is the only thing that makes you stop talking!
MK: Oh.
BC: I want to be alone with my nip! And the stinky dinosaur. And the feet people.
MK: Oooookay.

Picture of the Day:



Featured post of the Day:

You can read Intervention - part 1 in yesterday's post: Let's Talk about Treats.

15 comments:

  1. Hey Mr. Sexilicious, if you get that second intervention, please tell me what snacks they serve. Olive may be interested in knowing.

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    Replies
    1. Will do. Though Olive is always invited to attend too :)

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  2. I had no idea that snacks were served as part of an intervention. Where do I sign up for my very own intervention? P.S.: This is Rosie, Ruby's poor ignored feline sister. Although Ruby gets most of the attention on the blog, she does have three beautiful, brilliant, and extraordinary feline sisters. The human assistant claims we do not like to be photographed (which we don't) and that's why she focuses on Ruby. I don't buy that excuse for a second.

    From the human …one of the best parts of BlogPaws and the Nose to Nose nominations was discovering your blog. So funny and delightful! Look forward to reading more posts.

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    Replies
    1. I don't like being photographed either. Most of the time, I refuse to pose and get agitated quickly. Then again, during the last photoshoot, I conned Momma out of an entire bag of treats. I don't work for free, you know!!! I'm glad to know your assistant has taste ... three cats to one dog sounds about right :) No dog might be better, but I suppose one can be used to your advantage ... say, when things gets broken or destroyed. "I didn't do it! It was the DOG!" Still. You deserve a bit of the spotlight every so often too! Just don't work for free :) ~Bear Cat

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  3. They served you snacks at your intervention? How 'bout niptinis? Were niptinis served as well? If so, I'm askin' for an intervention, myself!

    Purrs,
    Seville

    PS. Your mum's not really serious 'bout bannin' the nip, is she? 'Cause bannin' the nip would be wrong. In so many ways. MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! I have some old Nip toys of Kitty's but Momma doesn't buy me Nip! So how can she get mad when I get a little fruity in the conference swag when I have no built up tolerance?!? It's happy hour right now where we live ... I might ask the bartender ... err ... Momma for a niptini - that sounds tasty! ~Bear Cat

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  4. Tell your Mom to switch to Smart Food, those bags are easier to open :)

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    Replies
    1. Excellent advice! I have a feeling this one is operator error and not bag error though. AND it's a whole lotta entertaining to watch her engaged in a death match with a plastic bag. She ALMOST as stubborn as I am, so you can imagine the fight to the death. :) ~Bear Cat

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  5. We're thinking that it would be fun for BC to have a conversation with Waffles. Neither one of them seem to be operating with a full deck. MOL! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  6. Intervention sounds like fun, especially if there is food... sort of like a convention, that's the meeting rather than the habit, though nip is a habit... so does that make it also a convention? If so where's the problem! Mouses just enjoy the nip and the street cred but play safe around those purple feet peeps! purrs ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is there a nip convention? If not, we should totally start one!!!

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    2. Brilliant idea, now, if we ran it along side Blog Paws, we could drop the peeps off on route and pick them up afterwards. Mind you with that many cats on nip it may just be better to order a taxi for the trip home. purrs ERin

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    3. On teeny-tiny complication, Erin ... YOU HUMAN HAS TO COME TO BLOGPAWS SO HE CAN BRING YOU.
      BAD MOMMA! Sorry about that. She starts comments to people and thinks I won't notice, but then I come running and have to ninja chop her off the desk chair. Don't worry. She'll only be out for a few hours. I think. Any longer and I might need your advice on mousing. And how to get outside. Don't worry, I'm an expert in CPQ ... err ... CPR! :)

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    4. Holy cat! She didn't even spell 'ONE' right. ***THIS*** is why we don't win any awards!!!

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