Just another day in the Momma Kat household #ChewyInfluencer

What is the average day like in our house? Hang on and suit up! Because the fur's about to hit the fan!

EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

{Momma gets out of bed and Ellie runs into the bedroom}
EM: IT'S ABOUT TIME!
MK: Oh, brother.
EM: Momma, did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?
BC: {from the bed Momma just got up from} NO! She got up on the wrong side of LIFE! Hehehehe. I mean ... LOOK at her! Hair all over the place ... challenged in just about every way ... she's lucky she has me to ensure her survival!
{Pause as Bear sees Momma's face}
BC: Err ... not helping?
MK: Bingo.
BC: Well, technically I'm a cat. I'm not SUPPOSED to HELP.
{As Momma walks around getting dressed and getting the day started, Ellie follows closely on her heels meowing up a storm}
MK: We go through this every morning! And I've never left you ...
EM: {sniffling} You went to the Conference ... and then the OTHER Conference ... and ... you weren't here to pet me!

MK: But I always come back, right?
EM: That's not the point! I wanted your lap and you weren't here!!! I have deep, deep scars from neglect.
BC: Nah. Those are from me. I'm the SHARK!
EM: Shut up, Dumbo!
MK: Okay. Back to now. The first thing I do when I get up is try to pet you but you run away and bitch at me! EVERY DAY.
EM: I haven't had a lap for ... for ... like a catillion HOURS and I need a lap! Look at my tail! Isn't my tail pretty?! I'm a pretty girl! And a pretty girl deserves a lap! I need admiration and love ... and your lap and you shoulder ... and lots and lots of love and ... I want to purr for you and do my little dance ... and you were ASLEEP!
MK: Did someone put caffeine in your water bowl ... because you're like this every morning! Ellie, I know that The Boy gave you his lap before he left for work. It wasn't that long ago.
EM: NO! I need YOUR lap! I need YOU to admire me and tell me how pretty my tail is.. I want to climb your shoulder and hang out up there because I love you. I love you more than anything, Momma! You're the bestest thing EVER. And you were SLEEPING!!! What about me? I'm just stuck with ... with ... HIM ...
BC: I have a name, you know.
EM: I'm a NICE cat - if I can't say anything nice, I don't say it at all!
BC: Kiss up. You're only a nice cat to her face.
EM: HMPH. I'm a GOOD cat. You're just the bossy, evil, ugly, step-sister.
BC: HEY! I'm not a girl!
MK: {chuckling} The girl thing is the only thing you're contesting?
EM: Fine. Evil step-brother.
BC: Phht. Don't make me whip out my maleness. 
EM: I couldn't find it anyway.

BC: HEY! But wait a sec ... STEP brother? I can deal with that. As long as we're not actually related ...
EM: Momma! I missed you! 
MK: Ellie, you can always jump in the bed with me - you're there about half the time when I wake up anyway.
EM: Well, today I had to use the little girl's room - but I came running as soon as I heard your alarm go off. 
MK: What's the real reason you weren't there this morning?
EM: {dramatic sigh} You know how Bear lays in bed with you from the time Daddy leaves to the time you get up? Bear said it was his bed and he'd make me into an Ellie-burger if he saw me in bed! I don't want to be an Ellie-burger! I want to love my humans and prance around showing off my floofy tail for years!
BC: I did not! She's making that up!
MK: BEAR!
BC: She is!
MK: You know, that's the thing with being obnoxious ... people will believe a lot of things you've done simply because they know you've done similar stuff.
EM: HA! And he told me that you'd left us here to fend for ourselves!
MK: BEAR!
BC: I didn't do it! Err ...
{Pause}
BC: For real this time! I didn't do either! I SWEAR! Besides, both things she claimed I said were mutually exclusive so only one can be true!
{Pause}
BC: It just so happens that NEITHER is true!
MK: Ellie ...
EM: SEE?!?! I get in trouble for everything around here!
MK: Okay, okay ...
EM: Wait until my Daddy gets home. I'm going to tell him EVERYTHING.
BC: You're going to tell him that you told Momma that you loved her more than anything?

EM: Err ... I don't ... I WAS LONELY! 
MK: Thanks.
BC: Keep digging! You're almost to China!
EM: Do you know what it's like to be lonely, Momma? I looked for you all over the house and I couldn't find you! I was sure you'd left me!
MK: We go through this EVERY ...
BC: {to the tune of "Mary had a little lamb"}
Momma has a big fat lamb,
Big fat lamb, big fat lamb.
Momma has a big fat lamb,
Her fur is black as coal.
{Pause}

BC: Everywhere that Momma goes,
Momma goes, Momma goes,
Everywhere that Momma goes,
The lamb is sure to go.

{Pause}

BC: Lamb follows her to bitch her out,

Bitch her out, bitch her out.

Lamb follows her to bitch her out ...

MK: Okay. That's enough. I have to work.

EM: BUT!!!!!

BC: BUT!!!!

MK: Okay, okay ... you both get a few pets, but then I have to work on our blog.

{Momma pets the cats, they wander off, and Momma sits down to work ... until she hears ...}

EM: {arguing with Bear in the other room} I'm Momma's favorite!

BC: NO! I'M Momma's favorite! I'm a Momma's boy! You're not. You're a Daddy's girl! But phht. Good luck with that!

EM: I'm Momma's favorite because I'm a nice cat!

BC: Just the other day you said Momma favors me. OBVIOUSLY. Because I'M her favorite!

EM: Poor little me.

BC: Little?!?! LITTLE?!?! Little for a barge!

EM: No. I just said that Momma favors you in front of Daddy so he'd feel sorry for poor little me.

BC: That's ... err .. DIRTY! That's WRONG! You ... you ... coquette ... umm ... err ... TWO-FACED ... umm ... I'm so mad that I can't even think straight! ... 

EM: Can't think straight? What's your usual excuse? Hahahaha.

BC: Trollop! I KNEW it! You want everyone to feel sorry for you and you play the victim! My Momma's smarter than that!

EM: Well, technically, I fooled her for a couple months ...

BC: I still shudder to think of my name being called so much! You chicane! You duplicitous HUSSY... 

{Pause}

BC: Huh. I've got to give you credit. Sure, you're a woman ... and you can never trust one of those ... but The Boy still believes that you're sweet and innocent!

EM: {batting her eyelashes} I am!

BC: Oooh! Of all the ... hey! Come back here while I'm talking to you.

EM: Whatever. I'm hungry!

BC: That's my food bowl!

EM: Not anymore.

{The sound of crunching lasts a few minutes and then there's silence for about fifteen minutes - with the cats in the other room and Momma working at her computer}

MK: BEAR! Leave your sister alone!

BC: WHAT?!?! How in the ... we're not even in the same room as you!! We didn't even make a sound!

MK: EXACTLY.

BC: RATS! She's growing more powerful. That's some major voodoo-whodoo. Before long, I won't be able to get away with ...

MK: AND DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT KNIFE!

BC: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA. That's FREAKY!

MK: I'm coming back to open the Chewy box so leave the knife alone!

BC: Phht. My claws and fangs do more damage than some sissy GIRL knife!

MK: And stop being cute!

BC: WHAT?!?! You're not even ... How did you ... Is there a camera in here?! ... HUH?!
MK: When you get in trouble you try to be cute.

EM: She's got your number! You TRY to be cute. Hahahaha. You are not me!

BC: You better stop being mean to me or my Momma will beat you up.

EM: It makes you sound like a sissy to say your Momma will beat me up!

MK: {walking into the room} Okay, okay. Knock it off!

BC: Tell SMELLIE you'd beat her up for being mean to me.

EM: Tell PEAR to bite me!

BC: Tell SMELLIE that Momma might enjoy that.
MK: I was going to open the Chewy box, but I can come back ...

BC and EM: NO!

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Disclosure: We received Purina Pro Plan True Nature Natural Chicken & Turkey Entree in Gravy Canned Cat Food (3-oz can, case of 24) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Purina nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post.
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MK: All right. Let's see what we got this time! Ooh! Purina Pro Plan True Nature Chicken and Turkey in Gravy. 

BC: CHICKEN?! As in TASTY WHOLE CHICKEN?
{THUNK! as Bear's "faints"}
EM: {rolling her eyes} Good grief!

MK: Oh, for the love ... No. It's chicken and turkey.
BC: {with one eye open} No tasty whole chicken?
MK: It doesn't say ... but I'm guessing not.
BC: The only chicken I'll eat are of the tasty and whole variety.
MK: You had chicken last ... uh oh.
BC: I KNEW it tasted like chicken! You tricked me!
MK: Anyway. Chewy says, "Purina Pro Plan True Nature Natural Chicken and Turkey Entrée is high-quality nutrition from real chicken and turkey, optimized for lean muscle, strength, and energy to help your cat excel from the inside out." 

BC: Wait wait wait ... GRAVY?! You had me at "gravy." I'll make an exception for this tasty, non-whole chicken. Its say it's high in protein, grain-free and includes Omega-6 fatty acids. 
EM: Phht. Like you need FATTY anything!
BC: Oh, shut up! It also says the food does not contain any added artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives.

MK: Ready to try it?
BC: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
EM: Hurry, Momma! I'm STARVING.
MK: Open a can ...

{Pause}
MK: Nice chunks! Not quite as much gravy as you two usually like though ...

BC: Gimme!! Gimme!! GIMME!!!
EM: Please give it to me, Momma!
MK: Okay, you two. Here are your plates.
{The cats chow down}

EM: Nummy ... YUM! Good job with ordering Momma!

BC: {to himself} KISS UP!

MK: You didn't quite finish your plate, Ellie.

EM: It was nummy yummy, but I got full!

MK: Okay.

EM: {walking away from her plate} Time to sharpen my claws!

BC: Five ... four ... three ... two ... and she's GONE! Hello, Smellie's precious food! I'm sure she won't mind if I just sample a few bits ...

{Bear looks both ways then eats from Ellie's plate}

The Boy: BEAR! That's Ellie's plate! Eat your own food!
BC: She's so fat ...
{Bear sees The Boy's face}
BC: Okay.
The Boy: That's what I THOUGHT! HA! He listens to me!
{Pause}
The Boy: Time for bed!
BC: Too bad. Hehehehehe.
{The Boy leaves the room to go to bed and Bear goes back to eating off Ellie's plate}
BC: This food DEFINITELY tastes better from her plate!
MK: Looks like everyone's happy!
EM: HEY! I'm not happy! Bear's eating my wet food treat!
MK: Then eat from his plate!
BC: HEY! She can't eat from MY plate!
MK: Oh, for ... As I've said before, Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?
EM: She's ignoring us now?
BC: Sheesh. What's HER problem? You'd think we were pains in her butt!

Interested in trying Purina Pro Plan True Nature Natural Chicken & Turkey Entree in Gravy Canned Cat Food (3-oz can, case of 24) Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag:#ChewyInfluencer.