Friday, February 23, 2018

Turn about is fair play

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat

BC: Bye, Smellie Mae!!! I'm ready for lift-off in my new spaceship!
EM: Finally! BUH-BYE! Don't let the rocket kick you on the backside on your way up!

EM: {under her breath} It's not so fun to share with YOU either, jerk face!! My own food bowls ... my own litter box ... the catnip banana all mine ... the cat bed all mine ... Momma and Daddy ... ALL MINE!!! No sharing!!!
BC: Hmmm ... I'm getting a bit sleepy ... it can't really hurt to take a short nap first, right? I mean, bad-a$$ adventurers and explorers rest up for their expeditions. Hmmm ... this is pretty comfy for a spaceship ... SLEEEEEEPY ...

EM: That's because it's NOT a spaceship, dumbo!
BC: I hear that! What else would it be?
EM: The new carrier Momma won! She calls it a "mobile pet bed" ... but who is she fooling?!?
BC: Carrier?!?! Like, "I'm taking you to the vet" kind of carrier?

BC: Well, why didn't you say that before?!?!?
EM: I DID! Yesterday! You told me to shut up!
BC: I'm getting out of here! Better not take any chances ...
{Bear walks over to the bed Ellie's laying on}
BC: MOVE! This is my bed!
EM: HEY! Where am I supposed to sleep?!?
{Bear plops down on the other cat bed}
BC: Like that's MY problem! I'm tired. It's nap time. Hold my calls ...

EM: Wait a ... that's MY ... oh, NUTS!
{Ellie climbs on the love seat to nap}
EM: Hmmm ... like it's MY fault he didn't listen! This isn't NEARLY as comfortable as ... And who does he think he is ANYWAY?!?! He thinks he can take whatever he wants whenever he ... I wish it WERE a rocket ship ... GOOD RIDDANCE!!
{An hour passes, Bear wakes up and switches back to the "spaceship" bed ... and Ellie wakes up to hear ...}
BC: Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ...
EM: You ate seven?
BC: Oh, great. A critic. DO YOU MIND?!?! I'm BUSY!
EM: It's my turn to nap in the mobile cat bed.
BC: Bear doesn't share.
EM: Come on! Let me try it out! I promise I'll give it back to you in fifteen minutes.
BC: Fifteen minutes is enough to contaminate the area! Slobber nastiness ... fleas ...
EM: I don't have fleas!
BC: And you'd probably destroy the bottom with your wide load.
EM: That's not very nice! I'm not any bigger than you are! Ummm ...
{Bear snickers}
BC: Realize it's a lie?
EM: Come on, Bear! Just fifteen minutes!
BC: If you'd kindly remove your paw from the edge of my spaceship, I'll be flying by the moon in fifteen minutes.
EM: What's so great about space anyway?!
BC: What's so great about ... Phht! You and The Boy are NOT there.

EM: But neither is Momma!
BC: Sometimes you just gotta throw the lady out with the bath water.
EM: Baby?
BC: I'm not a baby! YOU'RE a baby!
EM: NO! You throw the BABY out with the bath water.
BC: That's bad parenting right there.
EM: No! I ... oh, never mind.
BC: GOOD! Now if you don't mind, there's a tasty whole chicken farm in space that's calling my name.
EM: You don't HAVE any chickens!
BC: Not YET. That's just a technicality.  I'm sure there are TONS of unclaimed chickens flying and pecking around space!
EM: There aren't chickens in space! And chickens can't fly!
BC: OBVIOUSLY. If you're chicken, you'd be too scared to lift off. Like you.
EM: No, I ... I REALLY don't like you sometimes. You twist and misunderstand everything!
BC: Well, HA! I don't like you EVER!
EM: I really wish this WAS a spaceship! Then I wouldn't have to deal with you anymore!!
BC: Haha. If it's not a spaceship, I don't know what is. You're a know-it-all and you're just trying to trick me! Tasty whole chicken farming in space ... here Bear comes!
EM: That's the new carrier Momma won! Remember?! The one she calls a "mobile pet bed?"
BC: Carrier?!?! Like, "I'm taking you to the vet" kind of carrier?
BC: Well, why didn't you say that before?!?!?
EM: I DID! Yesterday! AND earlier today. You told me to shut up both times!
BC: I'm getting out of here! Better not take any chances ... of waking up and finding myself in hell.
{Bear climbs out of the "spaceship"}
EM: You frying for eternity ... I'd be okay with that.
BC: No! HELL! The vet! Stabby place! Other cats and dogs! 
EM: I just make friends!
BC: You WOULD! A carrier takes cats to the vet ... I'm getting out of here before Momma gets any ideas! BYE!
{Ellie waits a few minutes until she hears snoring ... then she looks around ... then she climbs in the "spaceship."}
EM: That was easy. Almost TOO easy. Like stealing tuna treats ... 
{Pause as Ellie looks around} 
EM: Not that I do that or anything.
{Ellie falls asleep - only to wake up to Bear screeching at the top of his lungs}
EM: Huh?
BC: You STOLE my spaceship!
EM: Hey! Don't get mad at me! It's not MY fault you're stupid and gave up your spaceship.
BC: I ought to ... I can't believe the nerve! MY spaceship!
EM: It's NOT a spaceship, remember?
BC: Oh, and I wouldn't be interested in it if it wasn't a spaceship, right?
EM: Well, you said ...
BC: You tricked me because you wanted the cat bed for yourself! I'm so mad I could ... could ... HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I'm going to beat you up and ENJOY it!  I'm going to eat BOTH bowls of kibble, and lay a stinky poop in the non-stinky poop side, and then roll over everything in this house so everything smells like me. I wish it were a spaceship ... then I could be rid of you! Light the rockets ... and problem solved! No more of this SELFISH sharing nonsense!!
MK: BEAR! Can't you two keep it ...
EM: But sharing is NICE! 
BC: You WOULD say that, wouldn't you? SUCK UP! Brown noser! Stupid BARN! If Momma weren't here, you wouldn't say that! I'm not stupid ... I see the way you look at my wet food treat.
EM: I'm not a barn!
BC: Uh huh. You wouldn't be hanging around in there if you knew the 911.
EM: Emergency?
EM: Information is 411, doofus!
BC: Oh, excuse me ... Miss "I know how to use a human telephone!" Phht.
BC: Well, if you want to chance it ... that's your own business.
BC: Phht. It's not MY problem. Just something I heard about a vaccination being overdue. I got all my shots in November ... so it must've been about you. You hanging out in the space ... err ... mobile cat bed only makes Momma's life easier.
MK: {walking into the room} What's wrong? Bear? Are you messing with Ellie?
BC: Of all the ... How do you know she wasn't messing with ME!
BC: Oh, shut up.
EM: Momma, am I overdue for a vaccination?
MK: Yes. The rescue we got you from didn't do it at your last yearly visit. Many people claim it's not necessary - but I don't know.
EM: That's it! BYE! Don't follow me!
{Ellie jumps out of the cat bed and hides under the bed in the bedroom}
MK: What'd you say to her?
BC: Hard to know exactly. It could've been anything! WOMEN! SO sensitive. Emotional. Irrational. Makes no sense. Bless her heart. She tries.
MK: She looked so cute in there!
BC: What?!? HER?!?! Check THIS out!
{Bear jumps in the cat bed}

BC: I'm cuter than Smellie. Am I right? Or am I right? And I don't smell! I don't slobber! I'm your Momma's boy!
MK: Bear ... you are just as cute.
BC: Oh, that's just ... AS CUTE! AS SMELLIE NEIGH!!! I'm not a smelly horse! 
MK: You are very handsome in the mobile cat bed, Bear.
EM: {from the other room} HEY! 
BC: SEE!?!? All she can talk about is HAY!
EM: Did you steal my cat bed?!?
BC: Define YOUR.
MK: Bear?!?
BC: Who are you going to believe? Your cute little kitty cat or dumbo?
MK: My cute little kitty cat.
BC: That's what I THOUGH ...
EM: He's too stupid to even realize that I'M your cute little kitty cat and HE'S dumbo!
BC: Shows what YOU know! Momma meant I was the cute little ...

EM: YOU?!?! LITTLE?!?!?! For an airplane hangar!
BC: At least I'm not the size of a herd of tanks.
BC: There she goes with the HAY nonsense again!
EM: Tanks don't go around in HERDS.
BC: Who knows all about tanks around here?!?! Ummmm .... ME! I've studied up for when I get my own tank!
EM: You're never going to get your own tank, stupid!
BC: I'm not stupid ... YOU'RE stupid! You're the one that believed Momma was going to take you to the vet for your overdue vaccination if you stayed in the mobile cat bed!
EM: At least I'm not stupid enough to tell on myself.
BC: Oh, SHUT UP! YOU started this by tricking me into leaving the bed by telling me it's a carrier.

EM: It's not MY fault you're a moron! But it IS a carrier!
BC: It's not a carrier, Momma, is it?
BC: You mean it's really not a spaceship?
EM: You mean you're really too dumb to have figured that out before?
BC: Well, I mean it IS comfortable ... maybe I need to pimp my ride out a little bit ... but it IS pretty stylish ... maybe I could make it LOOK like a tank?!
EM: A purple tank?!? His vanity knows no ends ... does it?

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  1. Your sleepypod looks really cool!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

    1. It is! Momma's been stalking SleepyPod giveaways for years ... you should've seen when she found out she won ... on second thought, never mind. It will just embarrass me! ~Bear Cat

  2. Ellie M, you are a very smart girl - and you look purrrfect in that spaceship.

  3. You are one amazing space invader Bear!

  4. Ellie Mae matches the inside of the SleepyPod. She could close her eyes and nobody would be able to find her.

    1. That is true! So many times already, we haven't been able to find Bear or Ellie - when they're in the SleepyPod. They're both dark!

  5. Congratulations on winning that gorgeous carri... er, spaceship! It really is beautiful and even more so with kitties in it. Nope, we're not gonna pick which one...

    ...but Ellie does look fabulous against the interior. And Bear is so contrast-y, like his fabulous personality!

  6. If refrigerator boxes can be spaceships, then a carrier can be one too! Those Sleepypods were made that way, and it's good to see that you two enjoy it!

    1. Refrigerator boxes?! We've never tried one of those! ~Bear Cat

  7. AMARULA: ...AS CUTE!! AS CUTE!! You are right Bear--you are way more cute--and I just LOVE you in purple -definitely your color (even if it is a carrier!)Your human was so lucky to win it--it looks so comfy!!

    1. She's been stalking SleepyPod giveaways for years ... you should've seen when she found out she won ... on second thought, never mind. It will just embarrass me! ~Bear Cat

  8. Bear and Ellie look very happy in that space ship... I hope it doesn't take off to Planet Vet anytime soon!

  9. We think you need another space ship, er, bed!

  10. It looks like you need a second SleepyPod. Purrs

  11. Replies
    1. Then I'll have to bring a bunch with me!!! ~Bear Cat

  12. Boy, Ellie has turned into a bitter b*tch. How did you do that so quickly,Bear? I think you look better in the spaceship colorwise.

    1. She only PRETENDS to be sweet. Behind the people's backs, she's exactly what you say! ~Bear Cat

  13. That is a great carrier, I can see why you two would fight over it. Ellie is getting very fresh. Is it your influence Bear? XO

    1. I have NO idea WHAT you're talking about! ~Bear Cat

  14. Oh Bear...your logic is beyond...I have no words. MOL

  15. Not sure if I have ever mentioned this, Bear, but chickens do fly! You head on off and wrangle yourself some before them Russians do and you could make a fortune... whilst you are up there, I am running short on cheese... don't suppose you could stop off at the shop on the moon and get me some, please...
    Toodle pips and purrs

    1. Aged cheddar for the Lady?!? No problem! ~Bear Cat

  16. That SleepyPod color is perfect for you both. The thought that it's a spaceship is far better than the truth!

    1. We specialize in creating stories better than the truth ;)

  17. Beware Bear, your snarkiness is rubbing off on Ellie Mae. It or she may come back and bite you on the bum!

    1. She's just a suck-up. I see her for what she is ... and it's NOT sweet and innocent! ~Bear Cat

  18. We wanna see that spaceship take off!

  19. Hmmm...we think Momma knew exactly what she was doing leaving this new "bed" just lying around. You maybe both better stay on your toes around that thing!

  20. We like your awesome-looking spaceship, Bear and Ellie! As long as it stays in the space it's in (and not like, space at the v-e-t). :)

    1. I mean, it could go to the tasty whole chicken space and I wouldn't complain ... ~Bear Cat

  21. What wonderful photos of you space PODS!
    Hugs madi and mom

    1. If Momma knew we'd be this cute, she'd have bought us a SleepyPod a long time ago! ~Bear Cat

  22. Hold your calls? Do peeps really call you when you're about to take a nap? Peeps call me when I'm workin' on my blog a lot. Or in the litter box. Or both. Not that I work on my blog when I'm in the litter box. But uh.. Hmmm... This might be one of those times when I should just stop talkin'. MOUSES!

    1. It's okay. Many great cats do their best thinking in the box. Or so I hear ... from a friend ;) ~Bear Cat

  23. Bear You needed a spaceship and you got one! What do grrls know....And you look pretty cool in it too!
    Your Fan

    1. Girls SUCK! My Momma says that's inappropriate ... but I'm not sure why! It's the truth! ~Bear Cat

  24. Bear, dude, nothing is sacred amongst cats, mew should know that by now buddy - I mean look at poor Smooch, he had not one but two beds stolen by Fudge the serial thief or should that be cereal, I'm not sure but anyhoo, dude mew need to implement a time-share system I know it's not want mew want to hear, but it's the best advice I can offur.

    We play mewsical beds here [apart from the serial/cereal thief - who has no honour] and take it in turns as we bed hop around the house, or dude get another space pod and then mew can steal it and have a twin engine!!! MOL

    Big hugs

    Basil & Co xox

    1. And Fudge's tail could double as a cat bed too!! But does he use it?! NO! He's got to go around ripping off the rest of the B-team's beds! ~Bear Cat