Tuesday, October 10, 2017

You've got to be kitten me!!! {part 3}

The "kitten" continues ...
You've got to be kitten me!!! {part 1}.

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

MK: {talking to Ellie} What's a pretty girl like you doing cuddling with a Momma like me??
BC: {closed out of the second bedroom where Ellie and Momma are} MommmmmmmmmmMMA! LET ME IN! LET ME IN!!!!!

MK: Oh, for crying ...
BC: I know you're in there with tasty whole chickens! Wait a ... I haven't seen Ellie Goat recently ...
{Pause}
EM: {from inside the room} I'm not a goat!
BC: {GASP} NO! It's even worse than that!!! Ellie's in there!!!! She's cuddling with you ... in MY spot!!! {banging at the door} LET ME IN!!! 
MK: Ellie being in here is even worse than you missing out on tasty whole chickens?
BC: YES!
{Pause as Bear thinks}
BC: NO!
{Pause as Bear thinks}
BC: Is that a trick question?!?! Wait a ... why's Ellie in there with MY tasty whole chickens?!?!

EM: MY tasty whole chickens.
MK: Wait a ...
BC: You both just admitted tasty whole chickens are in there! Don't deny it! You said Ellie being in there was worse than my missing out on tasty whole chickens ... implying they're in there too! And then Ellie said they're HER chickens!
EM: They ARE my chickens!
BC: I'm going to huff and puff and blow this door down!
EM: I DARE YOU!!!

BC: That's IT! One ... two ... CHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGE!
{Thunk}
BC: Ow.
EM: Huh. That's surprising. He's got enough hot air to fly a squadron of hot air balloons. I'm surprised he couldn't manage to knock the door down with a huff and puff or two.
BC: I'll have you know I charged the door!

EM: Even more surprising with Bear's big belly! 
BC: HEY! There's a reason Momma calls you 'Ellie Belly!'
EM: You said you were going to huff and puff. There's a difference you know!
{Momma opens the door}
BC: It's an EXPRESSION.
EM: You know your face could get stuck like that?
BC: What are you ...
EM: You said it's an expression! I hope your face gets stuck like that!
BC: HEY! What's wrong with my face?!?! This is just the way my face is!
EM: Better you than me!
BC: Oh, that's it! You're cruisin' for a bruisin', Ellie Goat.
EM: I'm NOT a goat!!!
BC: Then why do your meows sound like goat bleats?!?!?!
EM: I'd rather my meows sound like a bleat than have a STUPID expression like THAT stuck on my face.
BC: HEY! That's my face! I've had enough of this ...
EM: WHAT?!?! Did I get your goat, Bear?!?! 
EM: Usually, it's just your tail!
BC: Leave my tail out of ...
MK: KNOCK IT OFF YOU TWO!!!
BC: No! I'm not knocking anything off with HER. If you get one of your breakable things down from the very top of the shelf ... I work solo to knock it off. But if you want me to knock her OUT ...
MK: That's not what I ...
EM: Yeah. You think you're so smart!
BC: Shut up, Ellie.
EM: YOU shut up!
BC: No.
EM: YES!
MK: You've GOT to be kidding me!!! STOP it!!!! Bear, there aren't any chickens in here.
BC: Ellie said they're hers!
EM: If we ever get tasty whole chickens, they'll be mine!
BC: The chickens are MINE!!!
EM: You'd be too scared - you wouldn't even come out from under the bed! 
BC: HEY! I'm not scared of any stupid chicken! I was here first! And I wanted chickens first too! You're just a copy cat! 
EM: Says the feline who eats cheese and likes boxes just because I do!

MK: Have you two noticed that there AREN'T any chickens around here?!?! And that they'll NEVER be here either?!?!
BC: Sheesh! What's HER problem?!?! Get up on the wrong side of the bed?
EM: Humans are grumpy!
MK: Maybe you two shouldn't interrupt my nap with your nonsense?!?
BC: You were napping?!?! I KNEW IT! Ellie Goat was snuggled up with MY Momma in MY spot!
MK: Bear, when I take a nap, I bring Ellie in with me so I can sleep without you two waking me up in a fight. One of you has to be closed in here with me ... and you throw a fit if you're closed in a room. 
BC: But I want alone time with you!
MK: Bear, you throw a temper tantrum and act like you're being brutally tortured when you're closed in a room.  Since Ellie doesn't sleep with me - why don't you? Before we got her you slept with me!
BC: But I have to make sure Ellie doesn't do anything bad to my stuff! She's a girl and can't be trusted!!!!
MK: I'M a girl!
BC: I don't trust you either!
EM: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG.
MK: Then you should be thankful when she's closed in her bedroom with me! You don't have to worry about either of us messing with your stuff or you.
BC: I don't trust you behind a door either!
MK: Oh, for crying ... Bear, if you want alone time with me, sleep with me at night! I put the cube at the foot of my bed to make it easier for you to jump in bed with me just in case that was the reason you weren't jumping up - since the bed is so high off the floor. But have you used it to cuddle with me while I sleep?!?!
BC: Phht. I told you! I have to supervise the brat all night!
EM: Why would you supervise yourself?

BC: Oh, SHUT UP, Ellie! I don't need HELP.
EM: No, you're just getting old!
MK: You two have GOT to be kidding me! Do you have to argue and insult each other over everything?!?
EM: Yes.
BC: Seconded.
MK: Well, at least you two agree about something.
BC: RATS!
EM: Anyway, you SLEEP all night! You fall sleep and snore!
BC: I do not!
EM: Do TOO!

MK: That's IT!!!! I want to take a nap ... IN PEACE. 
BC: I'm right here, Momma! Let's snuggle!
EM: NO! I want to snuggle with Momma!
BC: ME!
EM: ME!
{The cats hear the door to the second bedroom slam}
BC: HEY!!!! I want to snuggle with you!
MK: {from the other side of the closed door} You two deserve each other!
BC: What's HER problem?!?! Sheesh!
EM: Humans are so argumentative and difficult! Wanna snuggle?!?
BC: Not with YOU!
EM: Fine! Suit yourself! I'm going to play with my sparkle balls.
BC: They were mine first!
EM: You never play with them.
BC: So? I may not want to play with them, but that doesn't mean they're yours!
The Boy: Can't you two keep it down?!?! I'm trying to work!
BC: Oh, SHUT UP!
EM: Don't tell my Daddy to shut up!
{Another door slams shut ...}
BC: This is RIDICULOUS!!! Stupid humans are temperamental! 
{Pause}
BC: {GASP!!!!} Our food bowls are on the other side of the doors! We're going to starve!!!
{Pause}
BC: No. Never mind. You won't starve, Ellie Belly.
EM: Oh, shut up, Fatso. I was cuddling with Momma, happy as a clam, before you started this whole mess.
BC: Clam up NOW then!
EM: Hmph. I'd tell you to be nice, but you only know how to be a jerk!
BC: Well, you're not so sweet either!
EM: I'm playing with my sparkle ball.
BC: FINE!
EM: FINE!!!
BC: I'm taking a nap and I don't want to be disturbed!
EM: Too late!
BC: What are you ...
EM: You're already disturbed.
BC: Oh, SHUT UP!
{Bear falls asleep as Ellie plays with her sparkle ball a bit ...}
EM: Take this, sparkly!
{Pause}
EM: Just wait a ... COME BACK HERE!
{Pause}
EM: Oh, I see how it is! You're IGNORING me!
{POW!!!!}
EM: That was a cool bounce! Bear! Did you see how the sparkle ball bounced off your ...
{Pause as she sees Bear looking pretty ticked off}

EM: Uh oh.
BC: HEAD?!?! I was sleeping you know!
EM: Err ... NO. MY sparkle ball bounced against your ... your ... umm ... KICKSTICK!
BC: So what hit me in the head?
EM: Err ... it was a drive-by sparkle-balling!
BC: There's only one sparkle ball out - you lost the rest of them under the furniture.
EM: Err ... I mean ... I mean ... it was the kitty tennis ball that hit you! I was keeping the sparkle ball to myself over here! Those frisky kitty tennis balls! I bet they're bitter since you never play with them!
BC: {sigh} Keep it down! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
{Ellie goes back to whacking her sparkle ball around}
EM: RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW! NUTS! Lots and lots of NUTS!
BC: Sounds right up your alley!
EM: My sparkle ball is stuck under the couch!
BC: Serves you right for being so annoying! Just play with another toy!
EM: But it's my FAVORITE sparkle ball! Besides, you have a temper tantrum when pinkie mousie is stuck under the couch - even though you've got more than twenty micey!
BC: That's DIFFERENT! 
EM: How?
BC: I ... you ... IT JUST IS!!! 
EM: NUTS NUTS NUTS!!! If I just reach a little farther ...
{Pause}
EM: GOT IT!!!!!! WOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
BC: Great. Now SHUT UP!!!
{Ellie gives her sparkle ball a celebratory THWACK!!!} 
EM: Uh oh. RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW! SPARKLE BALL COME BACK HERE!!!
BC: Oh, for crying out loud. I'm trying to sleep!

EM: MY FAVORITE SPARKLE BALL IS STUCK UNDER THE COUCH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT! DON'T WORRY, SPARKLY! I'M COMING FOR YOU! HOLD ON!!

{Pause as Ellie bats her paws around under the couch}
EM: ALLLLLLLLLMOST ...

{Ellie bats her paws around under the couch}
EM: This is a severe injustice! It's just not fair! NUTS NUTS NUTS!!!!! Sparkle balls are like men! The more you play with sparkle balls and men, the less sparkly they get. Not to mention that the more you try to love both, the more they run away and try to hide!!!

{Ellie bats her paws around under the couch}
EM: MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA!!! MY FAVORITE SPARKLE BALL IS STUCK UNDER THE COUCH!
BC: CAN'T YOU KEEP IT DOWN?!?!
{The cats hear the bedroom door open}
MK: {walking into the room} You've GOT to be kidding me! You couldn't let me get any more than a fifteen minute nap?!?! After I spent a night getting up several times since you two couldn't keep your paws to yourselves?!?!
EM: But ... my FAVORITE sparkle ball is stuck UNDER THE COUCH!!! I can't live without it!!! HEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!
BC: There's not enough help in this world for you.
{Momma tries to get out the sparkle ball}
EM: WOO HOO!!! My sparkle ball!
MK: But I haven't quite ...
{Pause}
MK: {Pulling the ball out from under the couch} There you go, Ellie.
EM: Never mind! I found my favorite sparkle ball in the papers over there.
MK: A few minutes ago, you said this one was your favorite and you couldn't live without it.
EM: That was TWO MINUTES ago! That's a LONG time, you know!
MK: You two DRIVE ME NUTS!
EM: What did my sparkle ball do to you?!
MK: I was talking about you and Bear.
BC: HEY! Leave me out of this! I'm trying to sleep over here!
EM: If you just let me play with Bear's tail, this wouldn't happen! It's not like I can bat the tail under the furniture or anything. His tail's lose-proof!!!
MK: Tempting ... let me think about it ...
BC: HEY!!!

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46 comments:

  1. Wow, it sure is lively at your house!! I hope it quieted down so you could get a nap. Too bad Bear won't sleep on one side of you and Ellie on the other side. Carmine and Lita have learned how to sleep with me together without bugging each other most of the time, and it's nice. :)

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  2. You all sure do have a good time together. We just know that we are getting close to Ellie and BK snuggling some day. You all have a great day.

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  3. The couch eats your toys, too, Ellie?!? We must overthrow the couches before they take over the world! -Thimble

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    Replies
    1. Bear's teaching me how to shred ours ;) ~Ellie Mae

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  4. Bravo bravo for dictating great convo this am and to the Mama for putting it up for us.
    Ellie I sure am glad to hear I'm not the only horrible taker of pills
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    Replies
    1. Momma's a couple years behind in sleep thanks to us! ~Ellie Mae and Bear Cat

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  5. You kitties keep trying to get your hoomins to loosen up more!

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    Replies
    1. It's hard work! And Bear's already grounded well into his 9th life!

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  6. ah the joys of sibling rivalry hahaha

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    Replies
    1. When it comes to cats 1+1 is never 2 ... it's more like 1+1=1,392,365.

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  7. Oh my gosh, it sure sounds like you've got your hands full over there...

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  8. Hey you two, my Dad says he is an old goat and he doesn't have any tasty whole chickens either!

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    Replies
    1. My Momma says she belongs at the funny farm ... maybe your Dad will have more luck there?!? ;)

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  9. Sighs. You are so right - Hoomins ARE very temperamental.

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    Replies
    1. They're downright GRUMPY! Especially when they don't get their way! ~Bear Cat

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  10. *good grief* When are you two getting your own show??

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    Replies
    1. Ooooh! If we get paid, we're up for anything! ~Bear Cat and Ellie Mae

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  11. Whole chickens...goats...sparkle balls...tails... It's not very quiet at your house, it is?

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    Replies
    1. Momma says the quietest time of day is right after we get our wet food treats in the evenings. You could hear a pin drop!!!

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  12. Heaven help any tasty whole chickens who have the misfortune of landing at your doorstep! MOL

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes we even feel sorry for our Momma ... it can't be easy ;) ~Bear Cat and Ellie Mae

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  13. We don't have any boys here, and we're glad we don't sometimes! MOL (Although I think Lexy could eat a whole tasty chicken by herself. But don't tell her I said that.)

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  14. Ellie Mae, I think Bear is sweet. I'd love to trade Pierrot for him! The lady wishes she could hear your meows. She's very intrigued with your "bleats."

    We love you guys. You're always so fun. The lady says thanks to MK for her very nice comment today. It means a lot.

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    Replies
    1. My Momma rolled on the floor laughing last weekend because The Boy protested when she said Ellie's meow sounded like a bleat. He said, "It sounds nothing like a bleat," then mimicked the sound ... and it was DEFINITELY a bleat!!! I thought we were going to have to do CPR on Momma - she couldn't breathe. Yuck. ~Bear Cat

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  15. You two kitties are a hoot, you must drive your momma crazy though :)

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    Replies
    1. We ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for her! ~Bear Cat and Ellie Mae

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  16. MeOW You two sure are an active pair. Mommy's fankin' her lucky stars dat we sleep when she does. Actually, we sleep even when she doesn't. But, when bedtime rolls 'round, we're all 'bout cuddlin' up with mommy and snoozin' till da meownin' comes. Altho' we do hate it when our favorite toys get stick unner things too. Anyways, ya'll are both gawjus kitties. Have fun. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. We ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for Momma sometimes! Then we think, "NO! She's lucky to have us cuddle kitties!" ~Bear Cat and Ellie Mae

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  17. Keep up, Momma Kat! Favorites change quickly! I hope you're able to get a nap in after all that racket!

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    Replies
    1. I did get a nap ... with two snuggly kitties no less!

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  18. guyz...ya noe what cha knead...SAWZ.....thatz rite

    SAWZ.....that way noe door iz ever closed two ewe ever again

    pantree door, bedroomz door, bathin room door.....yea....a
    SAWZ !! ♥♥

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    Replies
    1. No saws allowed in this house! My kitties can't even keep their paws to themselves ... I can't imagine saws!!!

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  19. Oh my heavens...such tortured logic, Bear.

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    Replies
    1. No kidding! Then again, we know boys don't think with the head on top of their neck ... even after being "fixed." Hahahaha. ~Ellie Mae

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  20. Ah, Bear, the joys of having siblings and peeps to look after, never a moments peace and demand demand demand. Seems like you got the glitter balls and males sorted, Ellie, but do tasty chickens fall into that category too?
    Toodle pip and purrs
    ERin
    PS Bear, you really do need to get a timeshare agreement with the humans in the flat, and maybe cat flap fixed to all doors, they would save no end of headaches for you.. though not necessarily the humans MOL

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    Replies
    1. I will ALWAYS be a headache to my humans! Err ... that sounded a lot better in my head ... ~Bear Cat

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  21. It looks like we have some catching up to do!!

    Thank you for the thoughtful and kind comment you made on our post about our Daddy. We know he's an Angel smiling down on us but we are heartbroken.

    The Florida Furkids and Mom Sharon

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    Replies
    1. Hopefully, you'll get a few laughs at the same time :)

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  22. Oh Bear!! You remind me exactly of what Amarula always says to Frodo and Zulu when you said "So? I may not want to play with them, but that doesn't mean they're yours!: Ha ha!

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  23. Poor Bear Cat ... I had no idea you'd been the victim of a drive-by sparkle-balling! Your neighborhood must be getting dangerous. :)

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  24. Your evil plan was ingenious, Bear. Too bad you fell for it! It's cute how you've started copying things that Ellie Mae does. That's what happened here years ago when we first got Paisley & Webster. One of the senior cats we had at the time started following them and trying out new things--sitting in the bathtub, climbing inside the entertainment center. It was hilarious because we could tell he had no idea what the point of any of it was--he just had to try it out! :)

    http://onedaytop.com/pet-medication-recommendations-avoid-risk/

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