Friday, October 20, 2017

Bear finally has enough

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae

MK: Momma Kat

BC: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT-A-BUUUUUUUU ...
EM: Don't you mean COW-A-BUNGA?!?
BC: You just can't miss a chance to call me fat, can you?
EM: I wasn't calling you fat! Err ... THIS time. Though you OBVIOUSLY are! You're doing the paper running wrong!
BC: Doing it wrong? NO. I think I know what I'm doing! I meant CAT-A-BUNGA. Now, if you'll excuse yourself ...
EM: Why would I excuse myself? I was just trying to ...
BC: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT-A-BUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNGA! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRG! HIIIII-YAH!
{Bear runs through a sheet of packing paper}
EM: What are you doing?
BC: I ran so fast that all you could see was the black racing stripe down my back, right?
EM: Err ... sure.
BC: I thought so.
EM: What are you doing?
BC: You wouldn't understand.
EM: You like to play in paper too?
BC: Phht. I don't PLAY in paper. I'm working.
EM: Last time you claimed you were "working," you pulled down an entire bookcase, passed out after five minutes and snored loudly for the next couple hours.
BC: HEY! That only happened TWICE. Do you mind?
EM: Not really.
BC: I don't want an audience. I'm BUSY here!
EM: Playing in the paper?
BC: NO!
EM: Then what are you doing?
BC: You ask too many questions.
EM: People only say that when they don't want to answer the questions.
BC: So what? Momma gets the hint!
EM: What hint?!? If you're playing in the paper, maybe we can play together and it will be more fun!
{Bear rips off several pieces of the paper}

EM: Is that supposed to be a threat?!?!
{Bear rips off a couple more pieces of paper}
EM: Are you teaching the paper a lesson?
{Bear rolls around in the paper}
EM: Are you ignoring me so I'll go away?
EM: Let me play! Let me play!
BC: This is MY paper! Get your own! There are a billion sheets all over this house!
EM: Come on! You can share!
{Ellie pounces on Bear}
BC: {pushing Ellie backward} HEY! I was here first! Get away from my paper!
EM: Daddy! Daddy! Bear's beating me up! Bear's beating me up!
BC: Oh. for crying ... YOU started it! I was just minding my own business, working in my paper.
EM: Working doing what?
BC: I'm really tired of you following me everywhere and bugging me!
EM: I'm not scared of you!
BC: No. You just call your Daddy to save you!
EM: Hey! Are you talking smack about my Daddy?
BC: My Momma could beat up your Daddy!
EM: TAKE IT BACK!
BC: No.
EM: TAKE IT BACK!
BC: Or ...
EM: {springing in Bear's direction} Arrrrrrgggg!
{The fight continues for a few minutes}
EM: {laying on the paper} MY paper. That's what I thought.
BC: MOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA!
{Pause}
BC: {as he walks away} That's IT! I've had it. She acts so innocent. And The Boy buys her "Bear's being mean to me" act. At least Momma saw through it rather quickly. A man cat has his stuff ... and while it's not right to sock a lady, that black rapscallion ain't no lady! More like a rabid goat. I swear ... {on and on ...}
{An hour passes ... Ellie leaves the paper and goes back to her bedroom to take a nap ... Bear comes back out and gets an idea as he hears Ellie waking up ...}
BC: {giggling as he watches Ellie walk down the hall and lays in Ellie's new bed} Here she comes ... here she comes ... right on schedule too!!!
EM: {walking down the hall} What should I do next?!?! So many toys ... so little time. The catnip banana ... my favorite kick-stick ... the crinkle balls ... I wish Momma could find my sparkle balls. "I can't find them! I've looked under everything in this house! Tell me where they are, Ellie, and I'll get them out!" Phht. Like I'M the keeper of those sparkle balls. They have minds of their ... {GASP}!!!

{Pause as Ellie surveys Bear in her new bed}
EM: HEY! That's MY bed!

BC: I don't see your name on it!
EM: It smells like me! Close enough! 
BC: This whole house smells like me, but you didn't get the hint, now did you?
EM: EVERYTHING smells like you around here ... my new bed was the ONE thing that was mine!
BC: Phht. The Boy is yours.

EM: That doesn't count because you don't want him anyway! Besides, I need a place to sleep when I can't be in his lap! He works! And sometimes he doesn't feel like snuggling!
BC: Too bad.

EM: I want to lay in my bed!
BC: I heard you trying to decide what to play with as you walked down the hall. You were coming out here to play! You just want the bed now since I'm in it.
EM: SO?!?! You didn't like cheese before I ate it! And you weren't interested in boxes until I was interested in them!

BC: Somehow I DON'T feel sorry for you! Revenge is home to roost, Smelly Ellie! And it's even tastier than tasty whole chickens!
EM: You're MEAN!
BC: Momma told me I had to share ... so do you!
EM: You just want the bed because it's mine!
BC: So? Shall we review all the things you stole from me?!?! Earlier today, you took my paper. Yesterday, you snarfed my good catnip. You steal my Momma ...
{Pause for photographic proof}


BC: You steal my banana ...
{Pause for photographic proof}


BC: You steal MY bed ...
{Pause for photographic proof}

BC: You eat out of my food bowl ...
{Pause for photographic proof}
BC: You TRIED to steal my table ...
{Pause for photographic proof}
BC: You steal my belly rubs!
{Pause for photographic proof}
BC: You steal my cat condo ...
{Pause for photographic proof}
BC: And I've had it!
{Bear and Ellie stand there staring at each other ...}
BC: You're lucky it's my nap time. We'll finish this later!
{Bear walks off down the hall ... a couple hours pass}
MK: {walking into the room} It's WAY too quiet in here for even one cat ...
{Momma looks around and finds Ellie near the pile of goodies Momma brought home from the BlogPaws Conference}
EM: La de da ... Just looking around ... la de da ... do de do ...

{Momma walks around the corner - but peeks back around the corner to find Ellie with her paw in one of Momma's bags}

EM: I ALMOST got it! Just a little further ... ooooooh .... BINGO!

EM: Hahahahahahahahaha. Phht. Momma thinks she can keep me out of stuff if she buries it in the bottom of a bag with another heavy bag on top. That might work with my stupid brother ... but ...

MK: ELLIE MAE KAT!
EM: Uh oh.
MK: Wasn't yesterday enough?!?! You chewed through the bag before I even knew you had it!
{Momma reviews the sights from yesterday's nip attack in her head ... notice the different colored bag}



MK: Ellie, you enjoyed the purple bag ... this one should be Bear's.
EM: How about I pay you to look the other way and we'll never mention this again.
MK: {reaching down to grab the bag} Ellie ...
EM: NO! NO! Don't take away my little friend! He UNDERSTANDS me! He LOVES me ...
BC: {walking into the room} What's going on in ... {GASP}! You BIG thief! Why can't you keep your paws off stuff around here?!?! Momma's lucky she got the bag itself out of your paws yesterday - before you consumed it with the rest of the plant. Where the heck did you find this?!?! Momma brought it home from the Conference MONTHS ago and she hid it.

EM: It's not MY fault you're too stupid to ...
BC: Sisters SUCK! There's not one good thing about having a sister!
EM: But don't you like to play with me?
BC: NO!
EM: And we work together to beg for treats! Strength in numbers like.
BC: I don't need your help!
EM: Well, THAT'S obvious ... you were fat before I got here.
BC: Yesterday after you took out the nip sample, you ate an entire bowl of kibble. You have no room to talk.

EM: {BURP}!!!
MK: Might be time for an intervention.
BC: I agree! I vote to intervene and get rid of Ellie!
MK: No, I meant for her nip obsession.
BC: Why does SHE get an intervention? I want an intervention! Ellie gets everything! You tell me that I have to share with her but she gets stuff that I don't get!

MK: This isn't a competition, Bear.
BC: Of course it is! We should get everything equal!
MK: Oh, really?
BC: Yeah!
MK: You know your wet food treat you both get every night? I put a little extra on your plate. Would you prefer I make them equal?
BC: Ummm ...

EM: HEY!
MK: And you like to snuggle with me when I nap - but Ellie just wants to be in the same room as us. Should I not let you snuggle with me to make everything equal?
BC: Erm ... but you give her everything!
EM: No, she doesn't! Remember yesterday when she opened the can of peaches?! I thought it was cat food and so I followed her around ...
BC: You woke me up from my nap! You were LOUDLY complaining for HOURS. I had to come check things out because I thought you might be dying. No luck.

EM: That's not nice! I thought you came to help!
BC: Nah. I came to watch. It sounded painful.
EM: And today, I got only one treat like you.
BC: We were totally screwed! Like one treat is enough to survive on!
MK: You both have a full bowl of kibble EACH.
BC: You brought home a tasty whole chicken! I smelled it!
MK: For The Boy.
BC: So HE'S the problem?!?! HE got my tasty whole chicken?
EM: And he didn't share!!
BC: We've got business to take care of. BYE.
{Bear and Ellie walk out of the room together whispering among themselves}
MK: {to herself} I feel sorry for The Boy. They're nearly impossible when they double-team you! It's worse than the mob! Worse than the worst organized labor! Those two are PROFESSIONALS ... and well organized when they want to be too.
The Boy: {from the other room} HEY! What's this?!?! I'm trying to ... GET OFF MY KEYBOARD! BOTH OF YOU?!?!? Bear! ELLIE! HEY!!! NO! DON'T press that ... 
BC: {from the other room} Good one, Ellie!
MK: And he doesn't see any benefit to a sister.
The Boy: {from the other room} We just HAD to get a second one!!!

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38 comments:

  1. I know it can be frustrating Bear, but show your sister that special mancat love, you will be glad you did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I might even miss her if she disappeared! ~Bear Cat

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  2. Great post! You should write a book about your life :)

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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  3. Great team job ! There are good things about having a sibling. Purrs

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  4. Dear Mr Bear Cat and Ms Elle
    You guys sound and act way too much like my siblings Jo Jo and Kozmo...except Jo Jo is a tiger and Kozmo is a Tuxie...
    I am glad there is just ME living with Mommy, I get EVERYTHING!!!!
    Purrs
    Marv

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We envy you, Marv! Though it's also true that it's more fun with a friend! Just don't tell Momma we said that!

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  5. There is strength in numbers, kitties...just sayin'!

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  6. Replies
    1. Momma's always saying I need more exercise! ~Bear Cat

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  7. It is so much fun listening to you two arguing. As long as it all comes out even. Everyone has to get along.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We almost feel sorry for Momma sometimes ;) ~Ellie Mae and Bear Cat

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  8. BC, you should never steal a lady's bed. EM, you look highly displeased in that last picture. And when you put your minds to it, both of you make a great team.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ellie?! A LADY?!?! Hahahahahahahahahahaha. ~Bear Cat

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  9. Hey Bear, seems like both your little sister and the Boy have a use after all! But of course the male has to be seen to take the credit after all, all us girls do is raise you and make you the fine figure of a cat you are today ;)
    Toodle pip and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They have a use ... PHHT. Though it does work to blame one or the other for everything! ~Bear Cat

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  10. Bear, I totally feel your pain. Pierrot takes over everything and has since he came to live here. If the lady puts out two nip toys, one for each of us, he takes his and does his best to also take mine at the same time. That's just one example. I have to say it's pretty awesome when you guys work together for the greater good. The lady and I enjoyed all the photographic evidence.

    Purrs,
    Annie

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  11. Well Bear, while me agrees, sisfurs can be a real pain in da you know where, there are some benefits. Ya' know, you don't always have to act cutesy to get things. And there's always somekitty to blame da bad stuffs on. And hey, when ya' get into a mood there's always somekitty to fight with. MOL Ya'll do look cute together. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You ladies are right. Don't tell Momma, but we secretly appreciate each other! ~Ellie Mae and Bear Cat

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  12. Ellie, you need some post-its so you can label your bed. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma hid them all! Curse Bear {again!}!! ~Ellie Mae

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  13. Having siblings is the best and worst isn't it!? Our humans are both only children so they have no idea!

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    Replies
    1. We ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for Momma sometimes ;) ~Ellie Mae and Bear Cat

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  14. There is enough love for everyone, but sorting out the timeshareslots is the difficult part. In the end, it works out, though...because of the love. Hugs.

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    Replies
    1. We need a schedule!!! Brilliant! ~Bear Cat and Ellie Mae

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  15. I guess Lexy and I are kinda lucky. We don't really touch each other's things, so we don't have to use post its. Oh wait! I changed my mind. I"m going to put my name on the dry food bowl! That one is all mine.

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  16. There is NEVER a DULL moment in your house. LOL Sibling rivalry, it's not just for humans.

    Delilah ALWAYS wanted the toy that Sampson had. (This has finally stopped within the last year or two.) In fact, she was such a bossy thing, that she would bark at Sampson if he had the toy she wanted. Then she would get a toy and play with it to distract him, and once he was distracted, she would take the toy. She'd also bark at him if he was on the spot on the bed that she wanted. Bless his sweet little heart, he would always get up and give it to her. He's such a gentleman.

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    Replies
    1. We ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for Momma sometimes ;) ~Ellie Mae and Bear Cat

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  17. That is one very cool looking bed, Ellie. I can't really blame Bear for wanting it. But it sounds like you need to do a better job of marking your territory!

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    Replies
    1. It smells like me!!! Most cats are smart enough to figure that out! Momma hid the post-its ... so my choices are somewhat limited ;) ~Ellie Mae

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  18. We can't share our catnip banana either, so now we have TWO bananas. Maybe your mom can get you a second one!

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    Replies
    1. I don't really care much for the banana anymore ... Ellie slobbered on it really good. She gets into everything! ~Bear Cat

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  19. If you look hard enough, you can find the good in everything, right, Bear? :)

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