Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Bear Cat's 9.5 theses

MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae
BC: Bear Cat

MK: Ummm ... Bear?!? Why are post-its all over the floor? Wait a ... is that a HAMMER and NAILS?!?! Give them to me before some-cat gets hurt.

EM: You stole my post-its!
BC: MY post-its! I'm pretty sure the pad has MY name on them. 

EM: You said that if I found the post-its, you'd share them! I found them ... so you were supposed to share! 
MK: Ellie, why would you let him take off with the post-its if you found them?!?
EM: He said we were out of pens in our house - so we couldn't use them yet - until you bought more. And he promised that he'd keep them safe because he has a bunch of hidden stashes around here that you can't find!
MK: If we're out of pens, it's because they're in Bear's hidden stashes. But we have tons of pens. And I guess he didn't tell you that HE can't find the stashes either?!
BC: Phht. A good hiding place means NO ONE can find the stash. Wait ... did you say TONS of pens?!?!
EM: Then what's the point of having them, if you can't enjoy the contents?
BC: So young ... so naive ... the point is to keep the items AWAY from the humans - depriving them of the things they need.
EM: What does that accomplish?!?!
BC: Showing them who's boss.
MK: Don't listen to him, Ellie. He can't find the stashes because he forgot where they are. 
BC: Like YOU remember where every little thing is around here! And you try to blame it on me! "Bear, sometimes I'm lucky to not lose my mind with your nonsense." I have no idea where you left my nonsense - but I doubt your mind and my nonsense would end up in the same stash.
BC: WHAT?!? Cat got your tongue?!?! Maybe it's in one of my stashes. Hahahahahaha.
EM: No. Sometimes the things you say stun me with their stupidity. Let me have the rest of the post-its!

BC: We're out of pens!
EM: Oh, yeah? What's that between your paws?!? 
EM: Hand them over!
BC: NO. YOU just want them to mark everything around here as yours.
EM: You mean like YOU did?
BC: Well, YEAH. Everything around here DOES belong to me!
MK: Bear, you still haven't told me why all these post-its are on the floor.
BC: Deformation and protestation.
MK: Excuse me?!
BC: I heard you say that this year is the five-hundredth anniversary of the Deformation. I thought I'd honor the occasion. 
MK: "R."
BC: Are what?!
MK: RE-formation. Not DE-formation.
BC: I've just been thinking that I'm a cat that is full of protest.
EM: Full of SOMETHING anyway ...
BC:  If I'm committed to protest, I must be a protestant. 
MK: You're not translating the Bible into cat meows are you?!
BC: Why would I do THAT?!?!
MK: Good point. None of this is even the slightest bit related to the Reformation or the 95 theses.
BC: That's not true! These post-its are the 9.5 theses.

BC: NINE POINT FIVE. I think I know what I'm talking about.
MK: How do you have HALF a thesis?
EM: He's got HALF a brain! Hahahahahaha.
BC: Very funny. Be careful or I'll show YOU who's boss!
MK: Bear, be nice. You only get one sister.
BC: Can I get that in writing?
MK: Excuse me?
BC: When Kitty was alive, you said I only get one sister - her. So she died and I was sure I was in the clear and done with sisters and their nonsense. Then, BOOM! Another sister! I'd like it in writing this time!
MK: Give me the hammer and nails and we'll talk.
BC: I have to nail my theses to a door!
EM: Maybe you could use them to decorate our litter box.
BC: Great thinkers are always mocked for their brave and innovative ways of thinking.
EM: YOU!?! BRAVE?!?! Maybe when you're hiding under the bed!
MK: As I was saying ... whatever you're doing ... not related in the least bit to what happened five hundred years ago. 
BC: I'm standing up against tyranny, oppression, and abuse! Your behavior is unethical and immoral and takes advantage of my innocence. I'm drawing a line in the litter ... I will not be hurt by my faith any longer! 
EM: Hurt by your faith?!?! Or hurt by your stupidity?!?

BC: Shows what you know! You're just a suck-up that tows the party line. You're not concerned with our ultimate justification and salvation. 
EM: JUSTIFICATION!?! You do most of what you do just because you can - with little justification.
BC: Just because you don't UNDERSTAND the justification doesn't mean it's not there! You don't see the oppression and ignorance. How Momma TAKES advantage of her power ... her ability to bend our will.
EM: With you and your attitude, I also see a lot of indulgences of your behavior.
BC: We need MORE indulgences! MORE tolerance! MORE love and understanding!
MK: That proves it ... no relation to Martin Luther's work at all. He argued AGAINST indulgences.
BC: Why would he do that?!?! Cats deserve to be indulged.
MK: As I said ... we're not talking about the same thing AT ALL.
BC: Well, EXCUSE ME, for not being up to speed on the history you humans reinvented.
MK: Oh, for crying ... so what are your points of debate?
BC: DEBATE?!?! There's no DEBATE. I'm right. You're wrong. BAD-A-BOOM!
MK: Okay ... what are your 9.5 points?
BC: I have TWENTY-TWO points. Would you like to meet my little friends?
MK: No, thank you. We're already well acquainted.
BC: I will not put up with being surrounded by impropriety and iniquity.
EM: What are you talking about?
MK: Don't feed the troll.
BC: AHEM ... Out of love for felinity and from the desire to elucidate and honor its virtues, Bear Cat Kat, Master of Feline Arts, intends to dictate and defend the following statements:
  1. Thou shalt not pet me with wet hands.
  2. Thou shalt surrender any spot that I wish to claim as my own, including MY desk chair.
  3. Thou shalt not touch me when I'm on the cat tree.
  4. Thou shalt not kiss me in public.
  5. Thou shalt not be offended when all I hear is "blah, blah, blah, blah."
  6. Thou shalt provide tasty whole chickens.
  7. Thou shalt play with me whenever I want.
  8. Thou shalt pet me whenever I desire it and stop petting me the moment I don't. Sleep is NOT an excuse to not give me ear rubs.
  9. Thou shalt not brush my teeth or clip my claws or wash my chin.
  10. Though shalt not shove me into a tiny carrier and take me to the vet.
  11. Thou shalt not shut me out of any room at any time for any reason.
  12. All friends and "friends" must be properly vetted through me. Disqualifying traits? Baby talk. Dog smells. Not taking my side. Not sharing tasty noms. Other items as I see fit.
  13. Thou shalt admire me as often and for as long as I desire. When I give the signal that I'm done, thou shalt leave me the (BLEEP) alone until the time is such that I require more admiration.
  14. Thou shalt not drag me out of my hiding places to fulfill your nefarious purposes. The rose bush, my cat tree corner and other locations as later declared all count as hiding places.
  15. I belong on the counter.
  16. My food bowl must be overflowing at all times.
  17. Thou shalt not use the evil sucker dog ... that beast on a long leash you affectionately call "Vacuum."
  18. Thou shalt not use tape ... anywhere ... ever.
  19. Your toys, your food, you anything is MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE.
MK: I thought there were 9.5? 
BC: There are.
MK: You listed nineteen.
BC: Exactly.
MK: I don't get it.
BC: And that's MY fault?!?
EM: Theses?!?! More like FECES.
BC: You're a disgrace to feline kind.
EM: Just because I don't destroy things, do things I'm not supposed to do, and out-attitude a thousand teenagers!?!
BC: I know what I want and I make sure that I get what I want.
EM: And how does that work out for you?!

Featured posts:

Friday, October 27, 2017

The contest

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

BC: aHEM!!!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: Ahem!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: Earth to useless SPACE CADET!

{Momma continues to work}
{Momma continues to work}
BC: HELLLLLLLLLOOOO! This is an insult! A TRAVESTY! This is ... err ... umm ... just plain wrong. I'm RIGHT HERE, Momma!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: Oh, I see how it is. This is some contest where we see how long you can ignore me. Well let me tell you ... I INVENTED this game!

{Momma continues to work}
BC: Things are about to get very messy! I'm about to break to some $#!+. 
{THUNK! as a glass hits the floor}
BC: Hahahahahahaha. Take THAT!
BC: RATS! It didn't break! Stupid carpet. {GASP} It's a CONSPIRACY! The glass is on HER side! There are CONSEQUENCES for disrespect! ALL GLASSES BEWARE .... THIS IS WAR!
{Momma continues to work as Bear jumps down from the table}
BC: She can't ignore this ... hahahahahaha.
BC: {ripping up the loveseat} This is what happens when you ignore THE BEAR CAT!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: WHAT?!?!?!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: MOMMA! I'm on the kitchen counter!
BC: And I'm NOT sorry!!!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: @#$% &^@%!!! The toaster is still unplugged. Sticking my paw in there always worked when it was plugged in! Hmmm ...
{Momma continues to work}
BC: Hehehehe. This is going to be GREAT!
{THUNK! as a plastic glass full of water hits the floor}
BC: Hahahahaha! The Boy's glass is ...
BC: {GASP!} NOT broken! Stupid plastic glass! This REALLY sucks! The glasses are ORGANIZED.
{Momma continues to work}
BC: MommmmmmmmmmmMMA! I'm on top of the refrigerator!!! I'm about to poop up here!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: {mumbling to himself} I INVENTED this game of ignoring someone until MADE to pay attention. Can't believe this ... start a fight?
BC: What am I going to fight? That stupid Dustbuster got the best of me last time. The Boy doesn't trust me anymore. Hmmm ...
{Momma continues to work as Bear settles into Ellie's cat bed}
BC: Hahahahahahahaha. This is going to be EPIC! Ellie!!! ELLIE?!?!?! Come see this! Come see this!!!!!
EM: {walking into the room} What's so important ... {GASP} you're in MY bed again!
{Momma continues to work}
BC: Better tell Momma I'm about to beat you up!
EM: I didn't do anything to you!
BC: Make me move!
EM: No, thank you. I have plenty of other places to sleep around here. You're just in a bad mood and want to start a fight!
BC: You're in on the conspiracy too! Oh, hahahahaha. Everything in this house conspires to ignore Bear Cat. You'll all PAY! Ignore Bear Cat at your own peril. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGG!
{Bear jumps Ellie}
EM: HEY!!!! Leave me alone!
BC: {whispering to Ellie} Is Momma paying attention?
EM: NO! Stop biting me! 
EM: You're just a big jerk!
{Bear keeps biting Ellie}
BC: Is she paying attention to me now?!?!
EM: NO! 
EM: It's not MY fault Momma's ignoring you! LET ME GO!!!
BC: You're just a goody-goody two paws!
EM: Have you ever thought that if you're NICE and don't try to get attention, she might pay attention to you?!?!?
BC: Take it back!
EM: NO!!!! You're just a huge jerk!
BC: {renewing his attack on Ellie} ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!

BC: {seeing Momma's face} Uh oh. Don't blame me! You ignored me!
MK: You're a furry terrorist! When you don't get your way, you become obnoxious.
EM: "Become?!" Isn't he ALWAYS?!? And he's actually GOOD at it too! THAT doesn't happen very often.
BC: Shut up, Ell ...
MK: What was so important that you had to get my attention?
BC: What do you mean, "important?" I just wanted to tell you that I want to trick or treat this year, Momma!
MK: To trick or treat, you need to wear a costume.
BC: WHAT?!?! I don't think so. Bear doesn't wear costumes.
MK: That's the whole point!
BC: Being rewarded for pretending to be something one's not? Maybe I could SAY I'm a cat for Halloween. I bet I'd get tons of treats for my great costume. Or maybe I'd be a "mere cat." Get it?!?! Meerkat? 
MK: Maybe you can be the tasty whole chicken you mentioned the other day. And Ellie could be a goat! CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE SQUARED!!!
BC: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Does Ellie have to come too?!?!
MK: If you want to trick or treat, Ellie comes too. 
EM: What will you be, Momma?!?!
BC: A cuckoo!! Picture it!!
{Bear imagines what Momma would look like as cuckoo}

BC: Hahahahahahahaha. All we need is a clock for you to pop out of!
EM: That doesn't seem nice, Bear.
BC: Nice?!?! If Momma wants NICE, she'll grab YOU. I'm not NICE. I'm Bear Cat Kat!
EM: HEY! I ran away from The Boy yesterday when he tried to pet me!
MK: I was there! It was pretty cold!
BC: And then he came to pet me! 
EM: And you let him!
BC: I took that bullet for you! And you didn't even THANK me!
MK: {sigh} If we go trick or treating, you'll need to walk on a harness, Bear.
BC: You're just making that up so you don't have to take me trick or treating!
MK: Did I mention that people don't give out cat treats?! Or cans of tuna?!?
BC: WHAT?!?! What else would they give out?!? Human children must have no taste! That's discrimination! Who came up with these stupid rules?!?!?! I thought Halloween was an excuse to sit around and eat a bunch of candy. "I got the candy for the CHILDREN! I'm sure they won't miss a few pieces ... " "Or a few more ..." BOOM! Next thing you know, their butts are the size of yours and they go around cat-caking everything.
MK: Some people might ask you to do a trick.
BC: Do I LOOK like I work for my food?!?!

MK: Maybe come up with a few tricks just in case?
BC: I can knock a glass off a counter. I'm good at redecorating!
MK: "Redecorating" like you did earlier?!?! I'm pretty sure people wouldn't be amused with you ripping up carpet, shredding furniture, or chewing blinds. 
BC: Then why do so many people watch those, "Cats being jerks," videos? LIVE entertainment RIGHT in their living rooms!!! BADA-BING!
MK: Oh, brother.
BC: Hmmm ... while we're on the topic ... there's something else I want to tell you!
MK: WHAT?!?!
BC: You said, "Oh, brother," and you visited your brother last weekend ... which reminds me that I want to tell you that you're not allowed to leave me with the Dweebles again!
MK: Why do I get the feeling that this is REALLY what you wanted to tell me? All this other nonsense about Halloween is obfuscation. 
BC: Am I that obvious?
MK: No. I just know you pretty well by now.
BC: Lot of good it does ME! You should've seen it! While you were gone, the two Dweebles just sat there and stared at each other DWEEBLING all over the place. They're not exactly rocket scientists!

MK: So I'm not allowed to leave you here with the Dweeb ... 
MK: {sigh} I mean The Boy and Ellie ... again? What about when I have to go to the grocery store?
BC: If that trip to the grocery store includes cans of wet food, cat treats, or tasty whole chickens, it's APPROVED. Hold a ...
BC: In the interest of full disclosure ... the cans of wet food must NOT be pate. That would be an UN-APPROVED absence. Yuck. Pate. Once yummy food, with the gravy removed, then it flies through the middle of an intense sword fight ... then steam-rolled and shoved in a can. Chickens are full of gravy! If they were meant to come without gravy, they would come without gravy!
EM: Ummm ... actually ...
BC: {sigh} Shut UP, Ellie! Chickens don't come out of their moms in pate-form!

EM: Are you really that stupid?!
BC: I'm not stupid ... YOU'RE stupid!
EM: You always complain about your teeth being brushed, your chin washed, and brushed. But you forbid Momma from leaving?!? That's like forbidding a break from all of that since she's the only one who does those things! Isn't it bad enough that I get my teeth brushed and I get brushed just because you have problems?
BC: She COULD just stop brushing our teeth, and clipping our claws, etc. when she is here!
EM: OH?!? Who wanted to have the eating contest? We couldn't have that if she was here!
BC: I have no idea what ...
EM: It was YOUR idea to go tummy to tummy on our kibble bowls. EAT! EAT! EAT! Remember that?!?! SCARF SCARF SCARF!!! 
BC: And who won?

EM: It doesn't count because YOU barfed it up within five minutes! The deal was who kept the most down overall.
BC: And then I ATE the barfed up kibble again.
MK: EWWWWWWWWWW! What HAPPENS at the food bowl, STAYS at the food ...
EM: But time was up! If I'd kept eating the entire time, I'd have eaten more during the time you ate, barfed, and re-ate the same bit!
MK: Okay. That's ENOUGH! Bear, you don't have to come up with all these stupid contests. When The Boy moved here, you made up all these barfing and peeing contests to challenge him to. Now you're challenging Ellie to contests. It's no contest, Bear. Nothing changes that you're my Bug. Nothing changes the last ten years we've spent together - the ways you saved my life - or all the ways you've transformed my life. I love you, Bug - and Ellie and The Boy don't change that.
BC: Come closer!

BC: Closer!

BC: {whispering} I love you, Momma.

Featured posts:

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Dweeble Dumb and Dweeble Dumber

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

BC: Suitcase? SUITCASE?!?! SUITCASE!!!
BC: Momma … packing?!?
BC: Wait a … only ONE suitcase?!?

BC: YOU’RE LEAVING ME WITH DWEEBLE DUMB AND DWEEBLE DUMBER?!?!  I don’t THINK so. Nope. Not gonna happen. If there’s not room for me in that suitcase, you’re really going to be sorry!
MK: You want to come along in my suitcase?!? COOL! My niece and nephew would LOVE to play with you!
BC: Umm … that suitcase looks a little … err … SMALL.
EM: Need a shoe horn, fatso?
BC: I’ll have you know that I could fit if I wanted to! I just don’t want to.

MK: You’d rather stay with …
MK: So now you’ve decided staying with them is better than coming long?
BC: Is that a trick question?
EM: Come on, Bear … admit it. You LIKE us.
MK: So you’re not insulted to be left with …
EM: We’re not that bad! I saw The Boy giving you back scratches earlier today.
BC: You missed the part where I hissed at him. TWICE. And quite ferociously too! No one touches ME except my Momma. MY Momma.
EM: You’re all hiss and vinegar on the outside … but a big ‘ole softy on the inside.
BC: “Softy?” Are you calling me fat again?!?!
EM: No. I WASN’T calling you fat … but now that you mention it …
BC: {ignoring Ellie} Wait a … you’re going to the Strait of Whole Tasty Chickens! Or the Grand Tuna Canyon?!?! Giblets?
EM: Just in case our readers don’t know … you eat as much as you talk about food.

EM: Your poop smells just as much as mine!
BC: Do you have to share a litter box with yourself?
EM: Ummm …
MK: Giblets?
BC: Isn’t that what the country is called?
MK: Like turkey gib … oh. You’re talking about the COUNTRY of Turkey.
BC: If that’s where giblets come from, why didn’t they name the country Giblets?
MK: Because the whole turkey comes from there ... not just the gib ... no, wait a minute. {sigh} Turkeys don't actually come from there! I always get caught up in your nonsense.
EM: One word … FOOD.
BC: What else matters?

EM: As I was saying …
MK: Bear, I’ll be gone for less than forty-eight hours.
BC: A trip to the spa?!? 
EM: I might be the new kid around here, but even I know she wouldn’t do that.
BC: Take me! Take me! Just NOT in the suitcase.
MK: I give you a regular facial … mani and pedi … brush out … and let’s just say you don’t appreciate them.
BC: You mean I HATE them! But a mud bath … and … umm … a … I’m down with a mud bath!
MK: As I unfortunately already know …
EM: Boys are gross.
MK: Bear, I already told you I'm visiting my niece and nephew.
BC: I guess they are more important than ME!
MK: Bear, you see me every day ... all day ...
BC: Well, when you put it like that ... I MIGHT need a vacation ...
{Bear pauses to think}
BC: Nah. ARGGGG!!!

MK: Bear! Let go! It's not nice to bite me!
BC: {stopping biting for long enough to talk} It's not nice to leave me with ...
BC: Wait a ... why didn't you scream in pain when I bit you?
BC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Sweatshirt season again! I HATE sweatshirt season. I WILL make you feel my furry fury ... ARG!

{Bear bites Momma again}
BC: Damn sweatshirt season! Maybe if I move my head a little ... no. This way? Change the angle a bit?!?! 
BC: {huffing and puffing ... out of breath} RATS! Who ... knew ... biting ... so ... ... strenuous ...
EM: Figures. The only exercise Bear gets is biting.
BC: I ... beat ... YOU ... up ...
EM: No, I just let you think you're the fat and mean wolf.
BC: You mean, BIG BAD wolf?
EM: Nope.
BC: You really tick me off sometimes.
EM: What are you going to do, bite me?
{Bear huffs and puffs a few more times}
MK: Bear ...
BC: NO! I QUIT! Go snuggle with DWEEBLE DUMB or DWEEBLE DUMBER! I'm running away. 

MK: So you're not going to say good-bye to me?
BC: WHAT?!?! You're leaving RIGHT NOW?!?! NO! I'm never talking to you again!
{Bear hides under the cat tree}

MK: Come on, Bear. I love you.
MK: Bear, you're my favorite. For years, all we had was each other ... and as much as I love Ellie and The Boy, I kind of miss that some times. 
MK: Okay. I'm already late.
{Momma says goodbye to The Boy and Ellie}
MK: Last chance, Bear!
MK: I'll see you in a day and a half, Bug.
{Momma closes the door}
BC: {coming out of the corner} Phht. She could've AT LEAST said goodbye!
EM: She did!
BC: No. She didn't. She was supposed to chase me out from the corner and cuddle me!
EM: Now I get why Momma sometimes says she could use a stiff drink around you.
{Fast forward a day and a half}
{Momma walks in the front door}
MK: Hey.
The Boy: What's wrong?
MK: Eh. I'm just tired.
The Boy: Come here.
MK: How were the kitties?
The Boy: Good. 
EM: {jumping off the loveseat where she was sleeping} YOUR LAP IS TAKEN, Daddy!
MK: She sure knows how to give me a dirty look.
EM: That's MY lap, Momma! Find your own!
The Boy: I'm surprised Bear didn't run out here when he heard your voice. He's been hissing at me.
MK: Bear?!?! Where's Momma's handsome boy?
BC: {walking into the room} Is all the PDG over?

MK: The what? 
BC: Pretty disgusting gross-ness.
MK: A hug?
The Boy: He loves his Momma. That's why he came when you called him.
BC: Phht. I didn't hear her call me! I'm not a dog - too dimwitted to think for myself! I only came out for ... err ... umm ... my wet food treat? 
EM: {snickering} Food again?
BC: Momma, we almost STARVED! We didn't get a wet food treat last night! It's a miracle I'm still alive!

MK: Poor Bear. No wet food treat?!? How did you survive?
BC: I don't know! It was close and ...
EM: {snickering again} She was being sarcastic.
BC: Shut up, Ellie! You wanted a wet food treat too.
EM: Yeah. But Momma's and our wet food treat's absence also meant that we didn't get brushed, our teeth brushed, or your chin washed. 
BC: Hmmm ... {to Momma} Too bad you're home.
MK: Wet food treat?
BC: This is the best day EVER! I'm so glad you're home, Momma! I missed you!
The Boy: You jumped in my lap last night, Bear.
EM: I can confirm that! I went to MY Daddy's lap and it was TAKEN with FATSO here!
BC: Well, SOMECAT had to ensure we got a wet food treat. He was just too stupid to get that he should feed us in exchange for letting him pet me.
The Boy: Your kibble bowls were full!
MK: True. He left your bowls overflowing!
BC: Phht. Next time The Boy grabs a box of Cheez-its or a candy bar, I'm going to tell him his dinner plate was overflowing.

The Boy: He's kind of got a point ...
BC: We should get THREE wet food treats tonight! One for last night ... and two to make up for DWEEBLE DUMBER thinking he was in charge.
EM: So I'm not DWEEBLE DUMBER? I'm Dweeble Dumb? That's the nicest thing you've said to me, Bear!
The Boy: I WAS in charge!
EM: Hmmm ... I love you, Daddy ... but that statement kind of belies Bear's point. We're cats! We're in charge, OBVIOUSLY.
The Boy: HEY! Bear was PURRING in my lap. 
The Boy: Yes, you were.
BC: It was all part of the con. 
The Boy: I don't think so.
BC: Did you tell Momma about the naked girls running around? HUH? How about that you slept in the laundry basket because you were too drunk to make it to the bed.
The Boy: Well, not MOST of it, anyway.
EM: There weren't any naked girls.
The Boy: I can't believe you told on me!
BC: I could say the same thing about you.

MK: Bear, I already know he had a few beers. Heck. More than a few times I've considered a couple stiff drinks after dealing with you. You can be ...
MK: "Special."
{Bear looks around} 

BC: I hate ALL of you!
MK: Wet food treat?
BC: I love you, Momma! 
MK: I love you ... 
BC: But I reserve the right to hate you AFTER my wet food treat.

EM: Moron. Like I said ... FOOD OBSESSED. 
BC: Don't you have anything better to do?
EM: No. Momma's still on Daddy's lap! 

Featured posts: