Friday, September 8, 2017

Something is very VERY wrong around here!

BC: Body of Bear Cat {personality of Ellie}
EM: Body of Ellie Mae {personality of Bear}
MK: Momma Kat

With cameos by ...
Amarula from Hairballs & Hissyfits.
Mooshka Anderson, friend and reader from Facebook.
Bam Bam Bourgeois, friend and reader from Facebook.

EM: Torties?!? Gingers! Keep dancing! NO! Come baaa ... my paws are lonely!
{Pause}
EM: WHA? Cluck clu ... Huh?! My mouth ALMOST there ... come to ... 
{Pause}
EM: Prepare the chicken cannon! And fire the bazooka!

{Pause}
EM: Where did my girls go?!? {looking one way and then another} Awwww ... NUTS! I'm awake.
{Pause}
EM: The only bad thing about dreaming of torties and tasty whole chickens is the moment you wake up and realize it was just a dream. I'm back to being tortie-less and tasty whole chicken-less. Only one thing will make me feel better ...
{Meanwhile on the other side of the room}
BC: {dreaming} Tuna ... boxes ... Bam Bam ... CHEEEEEESE!!!

{Pause}
BC: I'm in Daddy's lap ... BESTEST ... EVER ... oooooh ...
{"Ellie"/personality of Bear screams}
EM: WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!?! I'm ... I'm ... TOO sexy ... my hard-earned stripes ... and now I'm ... a black cat!!!
{Pause}
EM: Wait a ... I've always LONGED to be a black cat ... 
{Pause}
EM: Huh. COOL! My dream came ... wait a ... I look like ...
{"Bear"/personality of Ellie screams}
BC: I HAVE STRIPES!!!!! I look like an escaped convict!
{"Ellie" runs toward "Bear" ...}
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
EM: YOU!
BC: YOU!
EM: Why do I look like you?!?!
BC: Why do you look like me? Holy CRAP! I'm fat!

EM: HEY! Watch it! That's MY body! SEXY doesn't even begin to describe it. But hold on a ...
{Pause}
EM: {GASP} I'm a GIRL!!!! I can't be a GIRL! A girl is ... is ... emotional and weepy and never shuts up!!! 
BC: Momma's a girl!
EM: EXACTLY.
BC: You think THAT'S bad?!?! I'm a gross BOY! Boys fart and burp and are just plain gross! 
EM: As a girl, I'll never make sense again!
BC: I hate to break it to you, but you never make sense as yourself.

{Pause}
EM: Wait a ... I can finally really be a princess! This is THE BEST DAY EVER! No more Bear Cat! Call me Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
BC: Oh, nonononono. I'm taking my tiny, sleek, premium fancy grade A+++ black-furred, female body back. I hate stripes! They make your butt look big.
EM: MOTHER CLUCKER! Now it's YOUR butt. There's nothing wrong with stripes! I wore stripes for ELEVEN YEARS!

BC: But you prefer to be a black girl. Which kind of proves my point. You don't want to change back! 
EM: Not because there's anything WRONG with being striped!
BC: {GASP} MY TAIL!!!! My tail's ... short! And ... and ... thin! I want my black bushy beauty back!
EM: That's just about enough of you making fun of me and insulting my ... err ... your ... err ... {sigh} appearance!
BC: {reaching out to whap body of Ellie Mae, personality of Bear} TAIL!!!!
EM: HEY! Keep your paws off my beautiful tail!

BC: @#$% MY TAIL! I can't attack your tail because it's really MY tail! What am I going to do all day?!?
EM: This just keeps getting better and better! Hmmm. I'm hungry.
BC: You better not screw up my svelte figure! Keep your paws out of the food bowl!
EM: HEY! The vet said you were getting plump! I'm not the only one not missing meals around here!
BC: Hmmm .... Bear's food bowl.
EM: Ellie's food ... nomnomnomnomnomnom ...
BC: HEY! THAT'S ENOUGH FATSO!!! You're just BORROWING that body!
MK: Holy crap. I never thought I'd see the day Ellie ate out of her own food bowl and Bear ate out of his. 
EM: I'm BEAR!
BC: I'm Ellie!
MK: WHAT?!?! This isn't funny, you two.
BC: It's FREAKY!
EM: All my dreams came true! I can finally be a black cat AND a princess!

BC: Don't get too attached to MY body!

EM: Not my circus ... not my tasty whole chickens.

MK: You mean, "not my monkeys."
EM: No. Not my tasty whole chickens.
MK: Circuses don't have chickens.
EM: Chicken circuses do.
MK: I've never heard of a chicken circus.
EM: Phht. Oh, YEAH. Just because YOU haven't heard something or know about it means it must not really exist!
MK: No kidding. The personality of Bear IS in Ellie's body. If it's nonsense, it's Bear. 
EM: I HATE YOU!
BC: I love you, Momma!
EM: Oh, shut up, you suck up!
MK: Ellie ... I mean Bear ... oh hell! Whoever you are! Leave you sister ... err ... brother ... err ..., whoever the other cat is, ALONE!
EM: She's ruining EVERYTHING! She'll jump in boxes and eat cheese and do other ... err ... CAT STUFF - which I carefully refrained from to prove I'm my own cat.

BC: You must not be talking about me, because I'm a boy. Nah nah.
The Boy: {walking into the room and picking "Ellie" up} How's Daddy's little girl?
EM: I'M THE SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!
The Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
BC: Over here, Daddy! Pet me! Pet me! You're the BEST THING EVER!!!
EM: HEY! While you're in my body, can't you manage to not embarrass us both?
The Boy: What are they talking about?
EM: {CHOMP}.
The Boy: Son of a ... what the HELL is going on around here?!? Why do you look like Ellie but act like Bear?!? And why does Bear all of a sudden think I'm the best thing ever? 
EM: ELLIE!!
BC: I'm not Ellie. YOU'RE Ellie!

EM: Am not!
BC: Are too!
MK: Cuddles?
BC: YES!
EM: BARF.
The Boy: Am I still aslee ...
EM: {CHOMP}.
The Boy: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
EM: You're welcome.
The Boy: Bear?
EM: His ... err ... HER regal-ness, Princess Buttercup, in the flesh! What would you like to do for me?
The Boy: This Bear might be even more obnoxious than the other one.
EM: HEY! I'll have you know that Bear 1.0 is THE MOST obnoxious cat in the universe.
The Boy: You can say that again!
EM: Bear 1.0 is THE MOST obnoxious cat in the universe.
The Boy: Stupidity and obnoxiousness ... the most dangerous combination.
EM: Don't forget that I bite too!
{"Bear," The Boy, and Momma all say, "How could we forget?" at the same time}
EM: A little nip here and there never hurt anyone.
{Silence}
EM: WHAT?!? WHAT?
BC: YOU!?!? A LITTLE nip?!?

EM: Like YOU don't like nip!
BC: CATnip. Not teeth nip.
EM: When a cat nips, that's catnip. CAT. NIP. your legs.
BC: Does he ever listen to himself?
EM: HER-self. I'm a princess now. And I don't have to make sense because I'm a girl.
MK: You're also REALLY grounded.
BC: HEY! If we switch back, I don't want to pay for his crimes.
EM: We're never switching! I'm a princess and a black cat!
BC: Oh, we're switching alright. Even if I have to beat it out of you!
EM: I don't get why you're so upset! I didn't do anything! I'm just a cute, little ...
BC: @#$%!
EM: Well, that's not very lady-like.
BC: I'm not a lady at the moment.
EM: RATS!

Confused?!? SO ARE WE!! ... TO BE CONTINUED NEXT [FREAKY] FRIDAY ...

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36 comments:

  1. Oh noes! What dastardly deed is this?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I blame it on Ellie! {The real Ellie ...} ~Bear Cat

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  2. dreemin oh tuna az yur self ore yur knot yur self izza total lee awesum
    thing; dreemin oh chckn; hole ore sliced noe matter who ewe iz....iz
    like de werst kinda nite mare ever... sew be glad ya waked up bear/em
    em/bear !!!!!! ♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree! Bear Cat has little taste ... except when it comes to ladies. Check out those babes! ~Ellie Mae

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  3. This feline Freaky Friday is sure to be way better than some ol' movie humans could muster up! But now this next week is going to be full of so much suspense while we wait...

    ReplyDelete
  4. THAT would definitely freak me out. So did you ever find out what/how this happened?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're still working that out ... I blame Ellie though! It's always the little sister! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  5. Ha ha!! I was wondering at first why Ellie Mae was dreaming of torties and chickens (PS totally wonderful to use any photo of Amarula ever!--I did send you email-not sure what happened!)-best line ever "As a girl, I'll never make sense again!" I hope EM got to at least see what it is like to pee standing up as a man! AMARULA: Bear! Bear I hope you switch back I love your stripes--and you are perfect the way you are - how dare the vet say you are plump! Do you want me to come over to your house and beat EM out of your body???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you could do it too, Amarula! I have great taste in ladies! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  6. The rule here is critters can visit as long as they don't eat or breath...pics only or stuffies
    MOLMOL
    Hugs madi your bfff

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why didn't I think of that?? ~Bear Cat
      TOO LATE! ~Ellie Mae

      Delete
  7. Oh My Cod! It's like living in an alternate universe!!! (Mudpie isn't completely sure that she's comfortable with a ladycat dreaming about her MOL!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry! Bear will be back better than ever!

      Delete
  8. Well, we can vouch for black girlcats. They rock! There is nothing that they can't do. And, though Chloe Jo and Grizelda are total opposites, they both excel at being beautiful, smart, and wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said! I never considered adopting a black cat before I fell in love with Ellie. Funny how life has it's way of leading us by the hand for our own betterment :)

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  9. Oooh I love it.... I definitely want to see the sequel when the boy gets to be Momma! Just think of all the doughnuts the boy AKA Momma could eat without worrying about the weight... the ideal Weight Watchers remedy!!!!!
    Toodle pip and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That gives us IDEAS ... The Boy and Momma switching?!? Everyone's in trouble!

      Delete
  10. Oh my goodness! There's never a dull moment at your place! This really is a Freaky Friday. We look forward to hearing what happens next.

    I love both those dream pictures, proving you two really did switch bodies.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was confused until I remembered the movie, Freaky Friday :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Freaky Friday indeed. Only thing missing is Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan. Maybe THEY have the whole chicken farm?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Fun post as usual!

    Love the photos of you two together :)

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

    ReplyDelete
  14. I agree Bear, no more boys. We think there's more to this story. Who were these boys?I had a similar problem until recently Bear, it was more girls though.How many boys are you going to let in there? At least this new boy didn't move in.http://onedaytop.com/september-happy-cat-month/

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yeah, we are so totally confused, we're not sure who's who at da moment. We hope things get straightened out soon. Big hugs fur whoever. MOL

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It took Momma ten times longer to write because SHE was confused!

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  16. That is a Freaky Friday! Bear in Ellies black coat & Ellie in Bear's Tabby coat?! What is happening?! I think the poly-tics in the human world are now messing with the kitty world! Let me know if there is anything I can do. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always bet on black ... right, V?
      Black cats rule!!!

      Delete
  17. Oh boy, we can't wait to see how this all plays out. Luckily since we're behind on reading, we can find out right now! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We didn't know how we were going to finish it either!

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