Thursday, September 28, 2017

Remember Me Thursday {writing to save lives} #RememberTheRescue

We received a box of Remember Me Thursday themed goodies (pictured below) from the Helen Woodward Animal Center (HWAC) in exchange for spreading the word about Remember Me Thursday and pet adoption. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information and content relevant and of interest to our readers. HWAC is not responsible for the content of this post. 





What's "Remember Me Thursday?"
From remembermethursday.org

Remember Me Thursday® is a global awareness campaign uniting individuals and pet adoption organizations around the world as an unstoppable, integrated voice for orphan pets to live in forever homes, not die waiting for them. 

And from remembermethursday.org/about

Now going into its fifth year, Remember Me Thursday® aims to unite individuals and pet adoption organizations around the world to be an unstoppable, integrated voice for orphan pets in need of forever homes. “Millions of beautiful, adoptable pets will lose their lives in 2017,” states Mike Arms, President and CEO of Helen Woodward Animal Center. “We all come from different countries, cultures, and backgrounds, but together, we can raise our voices and share one life-saving message and literally save millions of pets on this one day.” 
In the previous four years of the campaign, 180 countries supported the movement with hundreds of thousands of individuals and more than 700 separate animal welfare organizations around the globe holding candle-lighting ceremonies of their own, spreading the message on social media, visiting the Remember Me Thursday website, or lighting a virtual candle. Celebrities such as Diane Keaton, Carrie Ann Inaba, Katherine Heigl, Pauley Perrette and dozens more have used social media to share the “opt to adopt” message and save orphan pets. In 2016, social media pet stars such as Lil Bub, Cole & Marmalade, and Tuna Melts My Heart also joined the cause.


Our story ...
One of the benefits of publishing a blog is that one has a platform for educating and making a difference in the lives of others. Usually, our way of making a difference involves using humor to brighten our readers' days and share our appreciation for our wonderful, but complexly enigmatic, felines. So many times, I've almost quit blogging - usually in response to stories of the cruelty of humanity after reading stories of cats tortured or hurt by humans - and equally galling, the unbelievable number of pets euthanized each year for lack of shelter space. According to Animal 24-7 published by Merritt Clifton, each year, over 2.7 million pets in shelters die without ļ¬nding their forever home. So many beautiful souls - so much potential for companionship, love, and healing - so much love extinguished because so many humans can't appreciate it - lost to humanity for good. Why do I continue blogging? Someone needs to be the voice - someone needs to tell the story for all the lives lost each year without voices. Our blog is mostly humor - but that humor - and the deep attachment Bear and I have - is how he saved MY life. That's what I try to pass on with our blog.
The love of my rescues - Bear, Ellie, and Kitty - makes me a better person - a more loving person - a more understanding person. And that love doesn't end with their lives. I've struggled to come to terms with losing Kitty over ten years ago - but the greatest comfort is that the transformation she inspired is permanent and carries forward in my relationship with other people and cats. Kitty lives on in the way I love Ellie and Bear. She lives on for as long as I live. In the way my love reaches other people ... and more people beyond that ... her love and life is a gift that keeps on giving. The ripples of a stone thrown in a pond far exceed the original event. In the same way, pets have a way of impacting us far longer than they're with us.
With Bear and Ellie, I didn't set out to find another rescue - I wasn't considering getting another cat. Sometimes though, we're given opportunities that require a heart of courage to win out over logic and doubt. The first time I met Bear (and later Ellie), I think we both saw something in the other that we didn't realize we had. A gift of another being appreciating and acknowledging us for who we truly are - and not the narrative others created for us. We saw the beauty in the others' souls - even if we couldn't articulate that's what it meant at the time. There are few things I'm truly proud of ... but listening to Bear and Ellie when they chose me is right up there at the top. I didn't let logic or fear win ... I trusted my heart. Hard for a logical person like me - scary ... terrifying ... but I think also necessary as I continue to build my life up around my recovery from anorexia. 



What does rescue look like? Our faces of rescue ...
*** Bear ***
(2006 at about eight months old; found by me on the street).
Bear changed everything for me - transformed my life completely - taught me to accept love (which came in handy in relationship to loving myself ... and letting The Boy love me) - showed me that my parents' legacy of selfishness and self-involvement was not my own (I managed to adjust myself to Bear's needs even when it made me uncomfortable and uneasy - and he taught me how to do something other than just survive. After years subject to the cruelty of the humans around me, only this little guy was up to the job of helping me heal. Not bad for a kitty I encountered carrying the groceries in one day. Homeless, feral, stray ... whatever you want to call it ... if my life matters - so must his. To read more about Bear's adoption story (and his past as a homeless kitten) ...

*** Ellie Mae ***
(2017 at six years old; picked up by animal control and returned to the rescue who adopted her out as a kitten until our eyes met at an adoption event at PetSmart).
To read more about Ellie's adoption story ...


*** Kitty *** 
(1991 at eight weeks old after her litter was dumped at a vet's office, until 2007).
To read the post in memory of Kitty - Kitty-Kitty: Unoriginal Name, One-of-a-Kind Cat.



But for every happy ending of a forever home, there are hundreds of pets that die without ever knowing the love and safety of a forever home. There are MILLIONS of companion animals killed each year without even having a chance or a voice.



What can you do to raise awareness about the millions of pets killed each year waiting for a forever home?


One more way you can help that's very close to our hearts:
When we adopted Ellie Mae from All Paws Rescue, there was another kitty we fell in love with named Allie. She's older, very affectionate, and probably best as an only cat. I so desperately want her to find her forever home and not become one of the forgotten. She's just the kind of kitty Remember Me Thursday was meant to remember (I'm sharing her in the spirit of the day - I haven't received any other incentive - I just love her). If not this special girl, visit any rescue or shelter and you'll probably find at least a few like her. Don't let them be forgotten. For more information on Allie: Allie.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Things that make you go hmph ...

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: The Boy


{The Boy's sitting on the couch ... Momma's napping in the other room ... Bear walks up to The Boy}
BC: AHEM.
{Silence}
BC: AHEM!!!!!!!!

The Boy: Hi, Bear.
BC: So how 'bout that weather?
The Boy: {looking around} What weather?
BC: Ummm ... the one OUTSIDE?
The Boy: What about it?
BC: Your lap.
The Boy: I'm not following.
BC: {sigh} I can't say I'm surprised.
The Boy: What do you want?
BC: Your lap. Is it available?
The Boy: For you?
BC: No. For Momma. Phht. Her doughnut butt would boy-cake you. OF COURSE, FOR ME!
The Boy: Hop up, Bear.
BC: Nope. I changed my mind.
The Boy: Okay.
BC: Well, if you INSIST.
{The Boy lets out an "OOF" as Bear jumps in his lap}
BC: Don't make too much of this. This doesn't mean that I like you or anything. Your lap looked lonely and I needed a place to sit.
The Boy: Is this so bad?

BC: YES!
The Boy: You can get down.
BC: Give me a minute.
{Bear kneads at The Boy's legs}
The Boy: Getting comfortable?
BC: No. I was going to snuggle with Momma but Ellie beat me to it. When I jumped on the bed and stuck my wet nose in Momma's ear, not only did Momma NOT pet me, but Ellie whacky-pawed me. Now I'm stuck with you.
The Boy: WHAT?!? I'm just better than nothing?
BC: I wouldn't go THAT far. You and nothing kind of run neck and neck. But if Momma wakes up and sees me in your lap, she'll have a coronary. Hahahahaha.
The Boy: HMPH. And here I thought our relationship had turned a corner.
BC: We don't have a relationship. Momma's taken.
The Boy: You can get down any time, you know.
{Silence as Bear continues to knead The Boy's legs}
The Boy: {sniff} {SNIFF} {SNIFF!!!} Oh, MAN! You farted!
BC: You're welcome. Don't say I never give you anything.
The Boy: HMPH.
{Bear jumps down}

BC: {AHEM} {to the tune of "Things that make you go hmm" ... by C+C Music Factory}
Things that make go hmph ...
Momma's in bed, napping like a fat cat,
Ellie's close, like Momma belongs to that brat.
I whacky-pawed her to next week,
But that pain in my butt ain't meek.
She sat there like she'd always been there,
I had to pretend I didn't care.
So I left the room and found The Boy,
Acted all friendly, played him like a toy.
I told him he shouldn't make too much of this,
If he told anyone I'd claw, bite, and hiss.
He was suspicious of me at first,
But his lap turned out to not be the worst.
A few moments was more than enough,
I went back to "I'm the shark" and being tough.
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph, hmph, hmph,
Things that make you go hmph.


{Momma notices something hanging out of Ellie's mouth}
MK: Ellie! Come here! OH, CRAP!
The Boy: What? What's wrong?
MK: Ellie has blood dripping out of her mouth! Help me catch her!
{Pause}
MK: Come here, sweetie! Let Momma look at your ...
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! She's trying to kill me! She's trying to kill me! Or worse! She's trying to wipe my butt! Whatever it is, it must be bad because she's chasing me like a maniac!
MK: Stay still!
EM: NO!
MK: ELLIE!
{Ellie runs around the family room with Momma in pursuit}
{Bear watches them run one way, then another way, then back again}
The Boy: Leave her alone.
MK: I'm telling you! There's BLOOD dripping out of her mouth! Something's wrong! We have to take her to the ...

EM: Are you happy now?
MK: #$%@ A hot pink FEATHER?!?!
EM: I killed my toy duck!
MK: Phew.
EM: REALLY? I mean, REALLY?!?! Now I believe Bear. He told me there was a time you walked up to him on a regular basis just to make sure he was still breathing. Don't you have anything better to do?
BC: Hahahahahahahahahaha. What do YOU think?
MK: Don't you two have anything better to do than give me a heart attack?
EM: Says the woman that chased me around like a crazy for fifteen minutes!
BC: Hahahahaha. You're lucky she didn't step on you. Last time she nicked the edge of one of my paws - she chased me all over for forty-five minutes crying and apologizing. When she finally caught me, she cuddled me like a baby until I managed to get away!
MK: I was worried about you!
EM: I'm not impressed.
BC: You have to admit it was at least a little amusing.
EM: Just about as amusing as when she chases you around trying to brush your teeth.
BC: HEY! That's not funny at all!
EM: HMPH! Exactly.
BC: {AHEM} {to the tune of "Things that make you go hmm" ... by C+C Music Factory}
Things that make go hmph ...
Ellie kills her catnip feathery duck,
Momma runs after her like a headless cluck.
Momma sees blood drip from Ellie's mouth,
And that's when the whole mess goes south.
Momma's so sure Ellie is dying,
And that she'll be left crying.
Ellie freaks out and goes running,
That girl's got evasive cunning.
When Momma finally catches her,
She finds a hot pink feather caught in her fur.
Ellie certainly wasn't bleeding,
That stupid pink feather was misleading.
Now Ellie's really annoyed and pretty peeved,
But Momma's just totally relieved.
Momma's crazy, that's for sure,
For all our kitty wishes, there's no cure.
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph, hmph, hmph,
Things that make you go hmph.


{Ellie walks up to the couch where Momma and The Boy are sitting}
EM: La de da ... hmmm ...
MK: Come on, sweetness! Hop up here for some loves!
EM: HMPH.
The Boy: She's a cat! She doesn't do what you ask her to.
MK: Whatever you do ... don't jump up here!
EM: HMPH.
BC: {streaking into the room} TASTY WHOLE CHICKENS! TASTY WHOLE CHICKENS! That's why we're not allowed to jump up there!
EM: HMPH.
BC: {jumping on the couch} HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
The Boy: I can't decide ... is he just stupid ... or is he a lousy cat?
BC: EXCUSE ME?!?!?
MK: He just loves his Momma.
BC: I do not!
The Boy: Who feeds you, Bear?
BC: Err ... I love her a little. If she bought me tasty whole chickens and a cat hammock, I'd love her a lot!
The Boy: Before Ellie got here, you used to come to your Momma when she called you.
EM: {GASP!} You didn't!
BC: Erm ... I don't know what he's talking about.
The Boy: When she was laying on the couch or in bed, all she'd have to do is say your name and you'd jump up with her after a short, "Meow meow."
EM: And you call ME a suck up!
BC: I never did that!
EM: {snickers}.
BC: I didn't! If I came when I was called ... it was a coincidence! I didn't hear Momma call me ... I just wanted cuddles!
The Boy: You came running when she called you!
BC: HEY! I always pretended to show up like I didn't know she was there! Then I'd groom myself a little, look around, maybe sneak a peek out the window ... and only then would I jump up.
EM: So you admit it?
BC: NO! Err ... RATS! Every one picks on me! Every one makes fun of me! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! 
{Pause}
BC: {to Momma} And YOU! That's the LAST time I come when you call me!
EM: So you DO admit it!
BC: Oh, SHUT UP, ELLIE!
{Pause}
BC: {AHEM} {to the tune of "Things that make you go hmm" ... by C+C Music Factory}
Things that make go hmph ...
Annoying sister, all up in my grill,
She's everywhere and doesn't chill.
She steals my catnip banana, my toys,
All I've worked so hard for, she destroys.
She hogs my Momma and mocks me,
It'd be easier to get rid of a flea.
She's a total suck up - with no excuse,
And I must put up with her abuse.
She attacks my tail without remorse,
I get in trouble for stopping her by force.
She's such a pain and never shuts her trap,
Even when I'm trying to take a nap.
I can't stand it but what can I do,
Please feel sorry for YOU KNOW WHO!
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph,
Things that make you go hmph, hmph, hmph,
Things that make you go hmph.
{Silence}
BC: WHAT?!?! No clapping? No applause?!? Momma?!? The Boy?!?! ELLIE!?!?! WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?!?!?! 

 {Bear hears snickering from the other room}
BC: I HATE YOU ALL! HOW RUDE!!!

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Friday, September 22, 2017

Adventures in cat daddy-ing

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: The cat daddy

"HELP" ...
The Boy: I hate this mouse!
BC: Mouse? Did you say ... {looking both ways} ... MOUSE?!?!

The Boy: This stupid mouse is too sensitive.
BC: Tell it to buck up or I'll teach it a thing or two.
The Boy: Buck up? How would that ...
BC: Phht. Like you have mouse handling skills. I AM the mouse expert. You probably think my micey are real mice!
The Boy: I don't know what you're talking ... the computer won't let me change the mouse settings.
BC: Mice have settings?!?!? 
The Boy: Yeah. You can choose pointers and pointer options, switch buttons, and adjust the wheel. 
BC: Choose pointers?!? I've got a pointer for the heathen ... BUCK UP and stop acting like a baby. Another pointer?!?! I'M THE SHARK! And the shark is always hungry for mouse. If you're in this house, you belong to me!
The Boy: Bear ...
BC: Yeah. You're right. YOU don't belong to me. Nope. I wouldn't claim you unless you owned a tasty whole chicken farm.
The Boy: Thanks! I'll buy a tasty whole chicken farm just for your approval!
BC: COOL!!!!! Huh. Maybe you're not as bad as I thought ...
The Boy: I was being sarcastic!
BC: Well, EXCUSE ME for not lowering myself to your intelligence level.

{Pause as Bear thinks}
The Boy: FINALLY! Silen ... !
BC: I don't understand why a mouse would have a wheel though. Wait a second ... you put the mouse on a diet! That's why he has a wheel. Better him than me. Maybe if you weren't starving him, he'd be less sensitive. Have you made rude comments about his weight and girth? He definitely has a little belly there.
The Boy: Bear! That's not what I'm ...
BC: You said your mouse has buttons ... what exactly are those for?! Maybe an "off" button? Like a remote? Do mice run on remotes? Or buttons like a sweater? 
The Boy: Why do I even try ...
BC: To not be annoying? I don't know.

The Boy: I have to use the bathroom.
BC: Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on your mouse.
The Boy: Err ... thanks?
{The Boy is gone for a few minutes and then ...}
{WHACK}
BC: Take THAT!
{Whack}
BC: And THIS! 
{Pause}
BC: Prepare to die! 
The Boy: {to himself} I can't leave him alone for five seconds! My poor mouse ...
EM: {walking into the bathroom while The Boy is still using the facilities} Did you say ... {looking both ways} ... MOUSE?!?!
The Boy: Why do you both say it that way?!?!
{He notices Ellie is already gone ... so he closes the door to discourage more "visitors."}
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!
EM: The Boy just closed the door to the bathroom! I think he's got some tasty whole chickens in there.
BC: WHAT?!?! TASTY WHOLE CHICKENS! THEY'VE FINALLY ARRIVED!
{Bear jumps down and runs to the closed bathroom door}
BC: LET ME IN!!! I know you're in there with my tasty whole chickens!

BC: If you don't let me in, I'll break this door down!!
{Pause} 
BC: I'll give you until the count of ten. One ... two ... three ... nine ... TEN! Here I come!!!
{THUNK!}
BC: OW.
{Pause}
BC: RATS! I hate this door. For some reason, I always find myself on the wrong side of it and it's not so easy to bust open. HELLO! HELLO! Let me in! Let me in!
The Boy: Can't I get some peace and quiet around here?!?
BC: You live with two cats. Let me in!
The Boy: If I let you in to look around and make sure there aren't any chickens in here, will you leave me alone?
BC: YES!

{The Boy opens the bathroom door ... Bear looks around ...}
BC: What are you doing?
The Boy: What do you mean, what am I doing?! What does it LOOK like I'm doing?
{From the other room ... WHACK!!!}
EM: Take THAT, sucker!
{WHACK! WHACK!}
BC: Uh oh. I gotta go. BYE!
{Bear runs back to the office and Ellie's attack on the mouse in progress}
BC: I have this under control, Ellie. Back off! AHEM!
{Pause}
BC: Mousie, I'll make you pay ...
{Pause}
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It's an alien mouse! It's an alien mouse!
The Boy: Oh for pete's sake!
BC: It caught me in its tractor beam! I'm cat toast! It's going to beam me up to the mother ship! I'll be abducted by aliens! They'll mine my vast intelligence and do horrible things to me!

EM: COOL! I wonder if aliens have tasty whole chick ...
BC: Oh, SHUT UP, Ellie!
EM: Well, that's not very ...
The Boy: {Walking into the room} What's going on?
BC: Your mouse's tractor beam hit me!
The Boy: The what?!?! Oh. You flipped the mouse. That's not a tractor beam.
BC: WHAT?!?! You mean I'm not going to be abducted by aliens?
The Boy: No. 
BC: RATS!
The Boy: Why would they want YOU?!?
BC: That's it! Next time you have a mouse problem, don't call me.
The Boy: I didn't this time.
BC: That's the last time I do you a favor!
The Boy: THANK GOODNESS!

NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH ...
The Boy: Honey, can you make me a couple ham sandwiches for lunch?
MK: Sure.
{Momma prepares the sandwiches ... then brings them to the table ... and walks away}
{THUNK!!}
EM: YUM! HAM! How nice of Momma to make these for me!
{Pause}
EM: {looking in all directions} I don't want to share with Bear. {LICK-LICK}. Yummy.
The Boy: {walking into the room} ELLIE! That's my lunch!
EM: No, it's not! Momma made these ham sandwiches for me!
BC: {walking in} Did someone say HAM?!?!
EM: HEY! Finder's keepers! The early kitty gets the pig sandwich. Nomnomnomnomnomnomnom.
BC: MOMMMMMMMMMMMMA!
The Boy: ELLIE! Stop licking my sandwich!
BC: Oooh! Can I have some?!?!
EM: This one on the right is REALLY good!
BC: Yum! 
The Boy: Bear! Stop licking my sandwich!
BC: We should get ham sandwiches more often. Where do ham sandwiches live? Are there tasty whole ham sandwich farms?!?!
EM: Momma made these.
BC: {GASP} YUCK! Pat-ooey! I'm poisoned! I'm poisoned! Momma's cooking! Momma's cooking! My NINTH life just flashed before my eyes! And I'm STILL grounded!
EM: More for me!
BC: HEY! You got a head start! Move over!
The Boy: HONEY!!! 
MK: {from the kitchen} I'm not home!
BC: Hahahaha! By the time Momma gets home, the sandwiches will be gone!
{The Boy and Ellie stare at Bear}
BC: WHAT?!?! 

THE SHOW ...
BC: Introducing ...
The Boy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{A glass falls through the air and lands on the kitchen floor}


BC: ... Bear Cat on ICE! Hahaha. Get it?! On ice? I'm on top of the freezer! I'm so hot, I need cooling down! I'm so sexy ...
The Boy: You scared the crap out of me, Bear! 
BC: I don't see any crap.
The Boy: What are you doing up there?!?
BC: Looking down on you.
The Boy: Enjoy it while you can. After the ceiling repairs are done, your Momma's going to put all the junk back up there.
BC: I don't think you'll fit up here.
The Boy: Ha. ha. ha.
BC: I always get the last laugh.
The Boy: I wouldn't say ALWAYS ... I mean, you're not laughing when you're acting like Mr. Big Pants and then you get scared and run away because something startles you. Or when your Momma outsmarts you.
BC: As if. If she "outsmarts" me, it's because I let her.
The Boy: Right. Why don't you pull this nonsense on your Momma?
BC: Phht. Because she's no fun. I hardly ever surprise her anymore ... and when I do, she doesn't react anymore. You're lucky that's a plastic glass - or Momma would be mad at you. But you should probably clean up that water before Momma slips on it. Then again, last time was pretty funny! The flailing arms and legs and then BOOM!!! EARTHQUAKE!
{Pause}
BC: SHHH! Here she comes! Here she comes!
MK: {walking into the kitchen and looking straight ahead} Bear. Get down.
BC: RATS! SEE?!?!?
The Boy: How did you know he's up there?!? You weren't even looking up there!
MK: After ten years, I just have a sense where he is.
BC: AHEM!
MK: Except when he's laying in the middle of the floor when it's dark in here.
BC: I tell you ... this woman has eyes in the back of her head! It's FREAKY!
{Jumping down to the counter}
BC: The pantry! My treats are in there! Come on, Momma!
MK: {walking out of the kitchen} Nope.
BC: You're mean!
{Fifteen minutes pass and The Boy gets up to go in the kitchen}
MK: {from the couch} By the way, watch out ... Bear's in the ...
The Boy: {opening the kitchen cabinet to find Bear in the cabinet} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
BC: What's up, doc?

The Boy: You're having way too much fun at my expense.
BC: No such thing.
The Boy: How did you get in there?!?!?

{Pause}
The Boy: Bear?!?!
BC: My tail! Isn't my tail handsome?!?! What's a sexy tail like you doing in a cabinet like this?!?!

The Boy: Oh, for pete's sake.
BC: Who's Pete? Is his tail as sexy as mine?!? Phht. Obviously NOT.
{Bear hops down out of the cabinet and jumps on his desk chair}
The Boy: {pointing at Bear} No more scaring me.
BC: Bring that finger just a little bit closer ... I have a surprise for you.

The Boy: Do I really look that stupid to fall for that?
BC: You mean ... fall for that AGAIN? I'm the shark!
The Boy: I'm out of here. I'm getting my shower.
{The Boy gets in the shower ... }
BC: Work it ... work it ...
The Boy: HUH?
{A switch flips}
The Boy: HEY! Who turned off the lights?!? This isn't funny!
{Chuckling is heard}
BC: ELLIE!
EM: {waking up} Huh? WHA?

BC: How many times have I told you NOT to turn the lights off on The Boy when he's in the shower!
EM: You turned the lights off on my Daddy?!?!? He might get hurt!
{Ellie runs to the bathroom to flip the switch}
BC: RATS!

THE FINALE ...
EM: Do de do ... la la la la ...

{Pause}
EM: TAIL!
BC: HEY! Leave my tail alone!

EM: For being a tiny tail ...
BC: ARRRRRRRRGG!
{Bear jumps Ellie}
BC: I told you to leave my tail alone!

EM: Make me!
BC: My pleasure!
The Boy: KNOCK IT OFF!
BC: She started it!
EM: He started it.
BC: Did not!
EM: Did too!
{The cats roll around a bit}

The Boy: STOP IT YOU TWO!
{The fight continues}

BC: Say you're sorry!
EM: I'm not sorry!
BC: You're about to be!

EM: GET OFF ME!
BC: Then leave my tail alone!
EM: I'll do whatever I want to do!
BC: Then so will I!
EM: It's not fair! You're way fatter than me!
BC: HEY! STOP with the fat jokes!
EM: Stop it!
BC: Then YOU stop it!
The Boy: BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF!!!
{The cats continue to fight}
The Boy: Ummm ... 
{Pause}
The Boy: TREATS?!?!
{The cats stop fighting and run to the kitchen}
BC: HIIIIIIIII!
EM: HIIIIIIIII!

The Boy: Son of a ...
EM: He fell for it again. 
BC: Hahahahahahahahaha.
EM: That's why you're so fat!
BC: What did you just say?
EM: Nothing!
BC: Where are our treats?!?!
EM: Chop chop, Daddy!
The Boy: Good grief.

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