Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Extracurricular activities

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Extracurricular activities:
BC: MOMMA! You're home! You didn't forget about me! I love you sooooooo much! Oooooh! You're home! You're home! You're home! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! Finally! So glad you're home, Momma! SO GLAD! I waited FOREVER! I was afraid you'd NEVER come back!

MK: {reaching down} I missed you too, Bear! I love you, Bear. I'm SO glad to see you!
BC: OOooh! Pay attention to me! LOVE me! FEEEEEEEED me! Food! FOOD! Wet food treat FOOOOOOD!!!

{Pause}
BC: Uh oh. RATS!

MK: So you're not actually glad I'm home ... other than that I'm here to feed you your wet food treat?
BC: Errr ... kind of?

MK: Kind of? Can I pet you?
BC: No! NO! Don't touch me!

MK: What?
BC: My belly is empty. Feed me and you can pet me.
MK: And yet your food bowl is full. 
BC: But my second food bowl is empty! 
MK: I'm trying to have a moment with you ... you know since I've been gone for a couple days and all and I MISSED you.
BC: You know the kind of moment I'd LOVE?!?! A FOOD moment. In particular, a TUNA and SARDINE moment. I know where the food is ... and I'm WAITING! The refrigerator? 
BC: The pantry? 
BC: The counter? The OTHER counter? Where are my wet food treat noms?!?!?!
MK: Bear! I JUST walked in the door! Snuggles?
BC: YESSSSSSSSSSS. That's a FABULOUS suggestion! Where do I get some tuna and sardines to snuggle with?

MK: I meant with me.
BC: Why would I want that??!?
{Pause}
BC: Oh. Uh oh.
MK: Please? I missed you.
BC: Then why did you leave? You wouldn't miss me if you didn't leave.
BC: Wait a {narrowing his eyes}... where have you ... 
BC: SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
BC: I smell ... ANOTHER CAT!
BC: Where have you been? Do you have a side cat? A backdoor cat? A front door cat? A side door cat? Are you fooling around with another cat? Whose cat have your boots been under? Are you creeping with another cat? Don't play me, Momma! I KNOW. Have you been running around on me? I'm double-crossed! TWO-TIMED! Are you taking on extracurricular activities? 

MK: Bear, the person I was visiting on my trip had a cat and I pet her.
BC: You pet the person you were visiting? Isn't that strange to pet another person?
MK: WHAT?!?! NO! I pet the cat!
BC: {GASP} What's the cat's name? Trollop? Hussy? Floozy? Jezebel? Strumpet? Tramp? Harlot?
MK: Sparkle.
BC: Sparkle?
MK: Yes. Her name is Sparkle.
BC: A cat named Sparkle? That's like a cat named ... named ... 
MK: Bear?
BC: What?
MK: No. I meant a cat named Sparkle is like a cat named Bear since cats aren't sparkly or bears.
BC: But I'm ferocious like a bear!
MK: Her personality sparkles!
BC: So does mine!!! My personality has TONS of SPARKLE!
MK: That is true. You do have tons of sparkle.
BC: My name should be Sparkle Bear!
MK: You also have a big heart. And you're bite-y. You don't need all the adjectives that describe you in your name.
BC: Why not?
MK: Because that gets confusing. And because I can't spit them all out every time you get in trouble. Imagine, "Get your paw out of the toaster, Big-hearted, Bite-y, Sparkle, Male Princess Black Bear Cat!"
BC: You forgot cute! And handsome! And tough!
MK: That was just an example, Bear.
BC: You don't need any other cats, okay? I mean look at this cuteness! How could you ever want another cat?
MK: Oh, Bear. There are no other cats in my life. Just because I pet another cat doesn't mean that I want to go home to him or her every day.
BC: You don't want to feed any other cats sardines and tuna, right?
MK: You are the only cat to get the cat food and treats I buy.
BC: Hmph. OBVIOUSLY. You may pet me now.
MK: I love you, Bear.
BC: Yeah, yeah. Don't let the snuggles go to your head. This is simply a business transaction!
MK: You drive a tough bargain.
BC: I can authorize another ten minutes of snuggling if I get the entire can of wet food.
MK: No.
BC: RATS!

Featured posts of the Day:
    • From Why Is Bear Suing Momma (AGAIN)!?!?!? ... This is a horrid picture ... unusable for anything but showing how Momma lured Bear so that she could get a picture of him with the prop.

18 comments:

  1. Oh Bear we's so glad you and your mommy are together again. It's always good when mommy comes home. Da few times mommy leaves us home and goes somewhere by herself we sit at da door and await her return. Well me does. Sis Raena sits at da door and meows da whole time. Glad you got some special treats. And as always we luv, luv, luvved seein all your gawjus fotos. And you were a pawsum pirate. You even got your mommy to dress up, good fur you. Big hugs fur both of ya.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Thank you. Awww. My Momma says it would break her heart to hear me meowing at the door. You two ladies are super sweet ... and your mommy should know just how special she is because you two wait for her return :) ~Bear Cat

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  2. Hmm, extra cuticle activities, huh? Just let you peep know who's boss and activate the claws part of your contract, and you will be OK. I had a recent incident and it turned out.... well I'll tell you later... purrs ERin PS My peep seems my pals Blossom, Lola, and Pebbles, all the time, and never a hint of indiscretion, just a rub under the chin and a treat. I would however draw the line at the giving of mice. Mouses!

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    1. Execute the claws part of your contract ... laughing out loud at that one! We can't wait to hear about your most recent incident :) ~Bear Cat

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  3. Bear, Mommy loves how excited you get about your wet food treat. She wishes I would eat wet food exclusively but for the most part I just don't like it!!! What am I missing??? Maybe we need to go out to dinner and you can teach me. --Mudpie

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    1. I pretend I don't like kibble ... but if Momma takes it away, I throw a stink. Then again, I throw a stink if I miss my wet food treat, so you know, cat's prerogative :) I love the gravy the most ... and won't touch pate ... but chunks? Yum! We DEFINITELY should go out to dinner. I'd make my Momma serve us the best in tuna and sardines! ~Bear Cat

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  4. Well, petting another cat is not unusual around these parts, they're everywhere!

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    1. NOOOOO! How do I keep that from happening around here? ~Bear Cat

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  5. Poor Bear, your Momma abandoned you and cheated on you! Time to sue her again.

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  6. Bear you said every single word that has been floating around in my brain for years!!
    The mom's need to know hands on heads when we are hungry are not what we want....
    Well done!!
    Hugs madi your bfff

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  7. Ah, the art of negotiation. *taking notes, taking LOTS of notes*

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    1. In the interest of full disclosure ... I'm grounded well into my ninth life ;) ~Bear Cat

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  8. Yes, love goes through the stomach, lol ! Beautiful pictures of you !

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  9. Bear, you really do need to find out where your Momma keeps those treats so that you can help yourself when she's away. And how dare she pet another cat!!! Sheesh!

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    1. I know where she keeps the treats ... until I learn to turn a door knob though, I'm screwed! ~Bear Cat

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