Thursday, July 21, 2016

The trade in

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - The trade in:
BC: Momma .... 
{Pause}
BC: {GASP}! You're looking at KITTENS on your computer!
MK: Bear ....
BC: NO! I came to ask you a question and I see that you're looking at KITTENS on your computer! I'm not a used car! You can't just TRADE me in for a newer model!
MK: Bear ...
BC: Oh, I see how it is. A few broken things and you're done with me!
MK: A FEW?
BC: You think this is FUNNY? 
MK: Bear ...
BC: Remember what happened with those 'cats being jerks' videos you used to watch online?
MK: But ...
BC: I try to give you the experience in cat and you get ALL MAD!
MK: Okay, but ...
BC: NO! I worked REALLY hard to be a jerk and you don't appreciate me!
MK: Well, ACTUALLY ... you didn't work THAT hard to be a jerk. I mean it DOES kind of come naturally to you.
BC: I HATE YOU!
MK: {sigh}.
BC: Those kittens don't come with instruction manuals either!
MK: Maybe a warranty?
BC: Hmph. Let me show you where to stick that warranty!
MK: OWW!
BC: Who's laughing NOW?
MK: Bear, I'm not trading you in for kittens.
BC: KITTENS. You didn't say anything about ONE KITTEN.
MK: Bear, I'm not trading you in for ONE KITTEN either!
BC: {narrowing his eyes} Then what are you trading me in for?
MK: A new set of furniture?
BC: BUT I WON'T BE HERE TO DESTROY IT!
{Pause}
BC: {GASP} You're giving the new kitten new furniture! Oh, I GET it! Just ERASE me from your life completely! Maybe some new carpet too?
MK: That's a great idea!
BC: HEY!
MK: Maybe I can trade you and your cat tree in to a chicken factory in exchange for some tasty whole chickens.
BC: Oh, I get it. "Old once-homeless Bear should just be happy TASTY-WHOLE-CHICKENLESS, NEW FURNITURE-LESS, NEW CARPET-LESS ... he should just be happy with NOTHING but a crappy home!" But this new kitten gets EVERYTHING!
MK: But then you'd live in a chicken factory.
BC: Oh. 
{Pause}
BC: I'm going to go pack.
MK: BEAR! No one's leaving! No one's being traded in for anything! You're STUCK with me!
BC: Well when you put it THAT way ... in the name of exploring my OPTIONS, if you DID trade me in, would I get a home with tasty whole chickens?
MK: {sigh}.
BC: AT LEAST an aquarium? I mean so I don't have to free-feed on this kibble crap?
MK: Bear, every time you hear the bag, you come running. It can't be THAT bad.
BC: Have you tasted it?
MK: You still come running.
BC: I don't know what you're talking about.
MK: I love you, Bear.
BC: Hmph. Then you should feed me real food.
MK: Remember the little kitten that was starving and would ignore the food for as long as I sat outside and petted him?
BC: THAT HUSSY! You HAVE been cheating on me!
{Pause}
BC: Oh.
{Pause}
BC: I was YOUNG and STUPID!
MK: And yet, you still do that. Though you're not starving anymore.
BC: Says who?
MK: Says the vet who always remarks that you're not missing any meals.
BC: Well, YOU'RE NOT MISSING ANY KIT KATS!
MK: Am I really that bad?
BC: YES!
{Pause}
BC: {sigh} No. Yeah, you're a little nerdy ... oh, who am I kidding? You're nerdy. Yeah, you keep me entertained by doing stupid stuff ... yeah, your look of horror when I roll in the mud or your dead ant pile cracks me up every time ... but I still like you. But don't go around getting a big head!
{Pause}
BC: {sigh} I love you, Momma.
MK: I love you too, Bear. 
BC: I feel the need to destroy something.
MK: Is there ever a time when you DON'T feel like destroying something?
BC: Good point. I'll settle for some ear rubs and maybe one of those "Oh MoooooooooommmMMA" hugs that tell me you love me and you'll murder anyone who messes with me. 
MK: Done.
BC: Watching you kick your own butt is pretty funny too.
MK: No one can kick my butt nearly as well as I can. 
BC: Yeah, you probably should knock that off. And give me those ear rubs.

GARFIELD by Jim Davis {from 04/12/1979}

Pictures of the Day:
What happens when Bear "gets on" the computer ...



Featured posts of the Day:
Remember the first time Bear got in trouble for using the computer? Butts, Boxes, Porn, Taking Over the World . . . and Fish?!?!?.
Do you remember when Bear finally lost his internet privileges permanently? 
Bear Loses His Internet Privileges, Permanently.

14 comments:

  1. OMC Great fotos. Ya'll look so cute. Ain't a mommy's luv pawsum Bear? There ain't nuffin' else in da world like it. Ya'll have fun, and don't give your mommy too much trouble Bear.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Momma loves me even though I get kind of prickly sometimes :) She never holds it against me either. She just says it's part of being a Momma. And I only get prickly because I know she'll love me no matter what and never hurt me. Not all cats (or people) have Mommas like ours! ~Bear Cat

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  2. We bet you DO have to work very hard at being a j***, Bear! And your Mama would never trade you in for kittens!;p

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    Replies
    1. I'm worth A LOT! I don't think she can handle that many kittens at once! ~Bear Cat

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  3. Replies
    1. Thank you. My Momma loves me even though I get kind of prickly sometimes :) She never holds it against me either. ~Bear Cat

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  4. Bear, your Momma could NEVER trade you in for a kitten, none of them would be as funny (and ADORABLE!) as YOU!! catchatwithcarenandcody

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very sweet photo of your Momma hugging you. She would NEVER trade you in.

    ReplyDelete
  6. But just to set the record straight... We still can trade in our peeps, right? Tradin' in the peeps is still allowed? 'Cause let me tell you, I need to upgrade mine, for sure. MOUSES!

    Purrs,
    Seville

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If there's not a platform to do that ... we DEFINITELY have to create one! ~Bear Cat

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  7. Bear, you can be so sweet when you want to. That oh moooooommma hug looks the best! And you look quite stunning in your pictures today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma's alright. And thank you for the compliments :)

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