Thursday, July 14, 2016

The best defense is a good offense

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - The best defense is a good offense:
BC: Why is my fur in the toilet?
MK: What?
BC: There's a ball of my fur in the toilet!
MK: Oh, right. After I brush you and wash your chin with the acne pad, I use the pad to pull all your fur out of the brush. This time, we were nearer to the bathroom than the trash can.

BC: TRASH CAN? Next thing you're going to tell me is that you don't keep all the fur you steal from me!
MK: Err ...
BC: {GASP} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why do you brush me if you're just going to throw away the result?
MK: Because you shed and if I don't brush you, you'll either walk around in a cloud of fur or swallow it. Hair balls don't feel so good, do they?
BC: YOU KEPT KITTY'S FUR! And you hardly ever brushed her!
MK: Bear! I kept ONE swatch of her fur when she died. ONE. From the light brown patch on her back. And I didn't brush her as much as I brush you because she HATED it. If I didn't brush her while she ate her wet food treat, she wouldn't have put up with it and she'd have killed me.
BC: MY FUR IS IN THE TOILET!!! Am I next? Is that how little you value me? First, you fleece my beautiful, well-maintained coat ... and then you toss it in the toilet like ... like ... well, you know what!
MK: If you could see in the toilet, that means you were on the bathroom counter. What were you doing there?
BC: Well, after I saw my fur in there, I emptied the shelves above the toilet into the toilet. Along with your toothbrush.
MK: Nice.
BC: I assumed the toilet was where you put all your valuable stuff for safe keeping.
MK: I'm sure. But why were you on the counter to begin with to even see in the toilet?
BC: Err ... umm ...
{Pause}
BC: THAT'S IRRELEVANT! Why are you flushing my beautiful plumage down the toilet? HUH?
MK: The best defense is a good offense?
BC: WHAT?!?! We're talking about my beautiful fur! NOTHING about my fur is offensive!

MK: If you hadn't been on the bathroom counter, you wouldn't have seen in the toilet and gotten upset.
BC: Oh, so now it's MY fault? Like if I didn't see you throw away my fur it didn't happen? You're never touching my fur EVER AGAIN!
MK: Don't you think that's a little drastic?
BC: NO! YOU JUST RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE!
MK: You said that yesterday.
BC: I HATE YOU! 
MK: Lovely.
BC: SO'S MY FUR! HMPH! {Bear turns around, flicks his tail in defiance and walks away in a cloud of furry fury}.
MK: {mumbling to herself} He does that so well ... it's ***ALMOST*** worth ticking him off JUST to see him do that tail flick and prance of defiance.
{Thirty minutes pass}
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
MK: Hi, Bear. 
BC: Pet me!
MK: But ...
BC: Pet me!
MK: I love you, Bear.
BC: I love you, Momma.
MK: I'm so glad you decided that I could touch your fur again.
BC: Well, THAT'S ridiculous. Why couldn't you touch my fur?
MK: You said ...
BC: RATS! Don't touch me!
{Pause}
BC: Err ... pet me.
{Pause}
BC: NO! Don't touch me!
{Pause}
BC: Err ... touch me a little.
{Pause}
BC: No, no! Touch me and die!
{Pause}
BC: Just one more ear rub.
{Pause}
BC: Nope! That's IT!
{Pause}
BC: Aww, hell's biscuits. YOU WON'T TOUCH MY BEAUTIFUL FUR AGAIN STARTING TOMORROW!

Pictures of the Day:
Bear's just a love bug. Witnessing the fight between his prickly, indignant feline side and his need for love (and Momma) makes all the battles worth it.


Here, you can see the light brown patch on Kitty's back that Momma's so incredibly fond of (that and her ONE white back paw with the pink paw pads ... SQUEE! SO CUTE!). Of course, if you touched either, she wouldn't hesitate to kill you.


Featured post of the Day:
While Momma's included a few references to Kitty in other posts, especially in relation to Bear, one post is all about Kitty: Kitty-Kitty: Unoriginal Name, One-of-a-Kind Cat.

10 comments:

  1. Kitty Kitty was very pretty. Bear, please tell your Momma there is a book called Crafting with Cat Hair- she could make wonderful creations with your beautiful fur instead of flushing it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the compliment about Kitty. Back when she was alive, I didn't know about torties, but she's definitely a mix of tortie and tabby. I'll look into the book on crafting ... sounds like an awesome idea. ~Momma

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  2. Bear, don't feel bad. Our mom doesn't keep our furs either. But she saves our whiskers. She's really strange.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. Not strange at all. When Kitty died, I ran around collecting whiskers and claw sheathes from all her favorite spots. I hardly find Bear's whiskers and I never remember to look for them ... otherwise I'd keep them too. My next project? ~Momma

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  3. Ha, per Pilch's comment... I bet Bear is going to buy the Momma that book! Or, make her by it herself of course. Because I doubt Bear buys presents. I love that top right picture. His expression is too cute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bear loves his Momma, that's for sure. But buying a book is a tiny bit more than the hairballs and messes he regularly "gifts" me :) ~Momma

      Delete
  4. We live the same experience as The Island Cats : Claire doesn't care about our fur, but cherishes our whiskers. Weird.... Purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. Not weird AT ALL. When Kitty died, I ran around collecting whiskers and claw sheathes from all her favorite spots. I hardly find Bear's whiskers and I never remember to look for them ... otherwise I'd keep them too. My next project? ~Momma

      Delete
  5. Your peep put your... your... your fur... your fur in the.... TOILET? MOUSES! Rats.

    Purrs,
    Seville

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I KNOW! It's an OUTRAGE! Surely, with your Peep's knitting, she keeps yours right?

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