Saturday, July 2, 2016

Tasty whole Momma

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Tasty whole Momma:
BC: You're CHEATING on me!
MK: What?
BC: Your FACE!
MK: What about it?
BC: You let ANOTHER CAT MARK YOU!
MK: Bear, I don't even "let" you mark me.
BC: The HUGE scratch across your forehead! It's the hallmark sign of cheating - much like you humans look for unexplained charges or perfume/cologne or lipstick ... But I haven't found any strange fur on your clothes ... {GASP} YOU'RE ROMPING WITH OTHER CATS WITHOUT CLOTHES ON!

MK: And why would I be so stupid as to romp with ANY cat without the protection of clothes?
BC: To hide your misdeeds!
MK: You've GOT to be kidding. 
BC: Kidding? Why would I have anything to do with kids? I'M AN ONLY CHILD!!! {GASP} You were romping with kids AND cats without clothes on? And you claim to know nothing about iniquities!
MK: How do you know the scratch didn't come from you?
BC: Phht. I keep a careful record of all the places I've scratched you. I require a very specific record of ownership on you. Every appendage must have at least one visible marking so no strange cats get any ideas that you're available. BUT YOU CHEATED ON ME! With a HUSSYCAT! A TROLLOP! A CATWHORE! {GASP} OR ALL THREE!!!
MK: BEAR! I scratched myself by accident.
BC: What do you mean by "accident?" Scratches aren't ACCIDENTS.
MK: I KNEW IT!
BC: RATS!
MK: And let me go back and reiterate that I don't "LET" you do anything. I'm not petting you and all of sudden say, "Oh, Bear. This is JUST TOO wonderful for me to handle! If you feel the need to dig a trench in my arm for poop and giggles, please go ahead!" No. You just randomly and ferociously attack me JUST BECAUSE you can.
BC: No. It's NOT JUST because I can! It's because you're MY Momma and other cats need to back off and recognize what's MINEMINEMINE!
MK: Because you don't want to share your fangcushion.
BC: I prefer the term "chew toy."

MK: The result is the same.
BC: I'M NOT SORRY! 
MK: I wouldn't expect you to be.
BC: I'M AN ONLY CHILD! Bear Cat DOES NOT share!
MK: I haven't forgotten.
BC: Especially MY Momma! Toys and food and cat trees can be replaced! But NOT a Momma like you! 
{Pause}
BC: RATS! I ... err ... umm ... well, you know.
MK: I "you know" you too, Bear. There's not much better on this earth than every day with you.
BC: I wouldn't go THAT far. I mean, I think my life would be MUCH better with tasty whole chickens AND you. But only if the chickens don't get too snuggly with you.
MK: I don't normally fraternize with my food.
BC: Speaking of food .... remember a few days ago when you told me I need to do cold turkey because of my catnip habit since you brought a whole bunch of catnip back from the BlogPaws conference?
MK: GO cold turkey.
BC: Whatever. WHERE'S THE COLD TURKEY? Are they going to be tasty, whole turkeys? I eat my turkey at any temperature as long as it's tasty and whole! I'll take all the tasty, whole turkeys - cold, warm, or anywhere in between!!! And I'd give up all my new catnip for tasty whole turkeys!
MK: {sigh}. I love you, Bear.
BC: I love TASTY WHOLE TURKEYS!
{Pause}
BC: And you ...
{Pause}
BC: ... Because you're pretty tasty ... in moderation. Maybe not enough to be called a "tasty, whole Momma," but decent at least.
MK: Lovely.

Chew toy ... fangcushion ... you decide:

Picture(s) of the Day:
Some hints of our Sunday Selfies for tomorrow ....


Featured post of the Day:

If there is one reliable thing about cats - it is that they are unreliable. And just like people, their personalities and likes/dislikes fall all over the spectrum. Most cats love boxes - but some do not. Most cats love catnip - but some do not. Most cats hate getting wet - but some do not. When I adopted Bear, I was completely unprepared for many of the differences between him and Kitty and between him and my general impression of what cats are like. Read more in: Things I Never, Ever Thought I'd Say to a Cat.

12 comments:

  1. Whoa, Bear! You really chomped down on that fang cushion!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got skillz. And fangs. And fangs with skillz. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  2. You are a little bit of a brat Bear , but you are adorable :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Bear, I'm having to go Cold Turkey too, on my cream that is... or should that be cold cream on my cream? Anyways, cold turkey is very overrated but definitely easier to catch than warm turkey. Mouses!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Erin. You always make us laugh. ALWAYS. Thank you for being out friend :)

      Delete
  4. My, oh, my - Bear is so possessive of his momma! Those are great pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bear, you really are something else! We agree about the cold turkeys, by the way. So far, we haven't seen any of them here, either, but we keep hoping....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Momma always says, "You really are something else!" I'm not entirely sure what that means, but surely that's a compliment, right? ~Bear Cat

      Delete