Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Cat butt

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Cat butt:
BC: {jumping on the table next to where Momma's working} HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
MK: What the ... ?!? {Sniff, sniff, sniff ...}.
BC: What?
MK: Let me ...
BC: BYE!
MK: {sigh, going back to work}.
{Pause}
BC: {jumping on the table next to where Momma's working} HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
MK: {Sniff, sniff, sniff}.
BC: What?
MK: CAT BUTT!
BC: UH OH!
MK: I KNEW IT!!!
BC: LET ME GO!!!
MK: Bear, you have a poopsicle!
BC: NO! You're going to kill me!!!
MK: HOLD STILL!
BC: Bite me!
MK: Oh, come on, Bear! Your butt stinks!
BC: Oh yeah? Let me smell YOUR butt!
MK: REALLY?
BC: NO! I don't want to smell your butt! What's WRONG with you? I have standards!
MK: Ummm ...
BC: Oh, shut up!
MK: {sigh}.
BC: PUT ME DOWN!!! HELP!! Momma's trying to kill me!!! CALL 911! NO! CALL MY LAWYER! CALL THE PRESIDENT! CALL MY CONGRESSMAN! I DON'T CARE ... JUST HELP ME!! Is this what I get for trying to cuddle in your lap? You've an evil, EVIL Momma!! I HATE YOU! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPP!
MK: Stop wiggling!
BC: You know where to stick that wipe! And it's NOT my butt!
MK: SIT STILL!!
BC: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPP! My Momma's trying to kill me and NO ONE CARES!!! MROOOOOOOW!
MK: OWW! 
BC: BAD MOMMA! BAD!! BAD MOMMA! My butt is MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINE!
MK: Then clean your own butt!
BC: Oh, I see how it is! You mock me when I clean my butt and get all (BLEEP)y when I don't! I CAN'T WIN!!!
MK: Bear! Seriously! You're carrying a cloud of stink around with you!
BC: Keep your filthy paws off me! You don't see me commenting on your ....
MK: GOT IT!
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!
MK: HUH? {THUNK}.
BC: Ha! Teaches you not to mess with my unmentionables!
{Silence}
BC: Momma? MOMMA! MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMA!?!?!
{Silence}
BC: Uh oh! MOMMA! MOMMA! When I ninja kicked you in the face, I didn't mean to kill you ... hmmm ... I don't think.
{Pause}
BC: SURELY she'll wake up, right? DON'T LEAVE ME, MOMMA! DON'T LEAVE ME!! I don't want to live without you! 
{Pause}
BC: RATS! I didn't mean that! 
{Pause}
BC: Oh, hell. I kind of did.
{Pause}
BC: Phht! PHHT! 
{THUMP, THUMP as Bear bunny kicks Momma's chest}. 
BC: PDQ! PDQ! I'm doing PDQ on you, Momma! HANG ON!
{Pause}
BC: Wait a ... CPQ! CRQ! Oh, hell! Phht! PHHT! {THUMP, THUMP}. Phht! PHHT! {THUMP, THUMP}.
{Pause}
MK: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
BC: Oh, thank the kitty .... WAIT A ... I HATE YOU! YOU KNOW WHERE TO STICK THAT PACK OF WIPES!
MK: In my PDQ?
BC: You're an evil, EVIL Momma! Making fun of your cute, little kitty cat in his time of fear!
MK: Because you don't want to live without me?
BC: I HATE YOU! 

Pictures of the Day:
Love ... Momma and Bear style. Because ever since the day we met and our hearts chose each other, we can't imagine life without the other. ***THIS*** is ***LOVE***.




Featured post of the Day:
Did you miss Momma and Bear's discussion of how they met and chose each other? Momma's Favorite Story.

18 comments:

  1. Poopsicle! That's a new one for me. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Courtesy of my sister-in-law. When my brother was still in Seminary and interning at a church, apparently one of the women liked to tell my SIL about her cats' poop habits while waiting around after church. Not sure which one coined "poopsicle," but it is oddly appropriate :)

      Delete
  2. Poopsicle- MOL! We call them dingleberries :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Courtesy of my sister-in-law. When my brother was still in Seminary and interning at a church, apparently one of the women liked to tell my SIL about her cats' poop habits while waiting around after church. Not sure which one coined "poopsicle," but it is oddly appropriate :)

      Delete
  3. Never let them sniff your butt, Bear. No good comes from it. ;

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great advice. I ran away the first time because I could tell she was sniffing, but the second time, she was extra clever and didn't make it obvious. Humans are so tricky!

      Delete
  4. Hehe, one sure fire way to arouse a sleeping peep is the ol' claw in the nose 'ole maneuver, guaranteed revival or your peeps inheritance! purrs ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I prefer to stick my claw in her eye. If you aim JUST RIGHT, you can manage to get the claw past the eyelid WHILE she's still sleeping. How do I know this? LOTS OF PRACTICE. Put you should see her face. I mean you REALLY should see her face ... it looks like she fought with a barbed wire fence :) ~Bear Cat

      Delete
    2. Hehe, you'd have really caught her eye with that maneuver! To me fences and peeps are very similar, both need to be sat on from time to time, and if you don't get them set up properly from the start they have a habit of falling over and not doing what you put them there for in the first place. purrs ERin

      Delete
  5. MOL ! We knew "dingleberries", but "poopsicle" is a great one ! Purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Courtesy of my sister-in-law. When my brother was still in Seminary and interning at a church, apparently one of the women liked to tell my SIL about her cats' poop habits while waiting around after church. Not sure which one coined "poopsicle," but it is oddly appropriate :)

      Delete
  6. You momma took a wipe an'... Really? MOUSES!

    Of course, Andy had to has had to have bum washes and shaves so I guess a little wipe isn't ALL that bad. Still need to cry MOUSES! though, for sure. MOUSES!

    Purrs,
    Seville

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It takes one heck of a mancat to rock a butt shaving :) Is that what the peeps refer to as manscaping? ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  7. You momma took a wipe an'... Really? MOUSES!

    Of course, Andy had to has had to have bum washes and shaves so I guess a little wipe isn't ALL that bad. Still need to cry MOUSES! though, for sure. MOUSES!

    Purrs,
    Seville

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It takes one heck of a mancat to rock a butt shaving :) Is that what the peeps refer to as manscaping? ~Bear Cat

      Delete