Saturday, July 16, 2016

Better than silence

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat


Daily conversation - Better than silence:
BC: MY FOOD BOWL IS MISSING!
MK: Bear ....
BC: What? You got mad at my signs so you took away my food bowl so random animals couldn't find their way anymore?
MK: Bear, you SAW me move your food bowl to the other room.
BC: Is this to confuse the tasty whole chickens, tunas, fishies, turkeys, and cows that come looking for my food bowl? I was guarding the signs too well so you couldn't take them down so you moved my food bowl instead to thwart the whole operation?
MK: No. I gave you some of those special treats I got in the swag bag at the BlogPaws conference, and not only did you not eat them, but they drew ants from I have no idea where since I haven't seen them in here since last year.
BC: OOoh! Were they tasty whole ants? Maybe they followed my signs!
MK: Bear, ants can't read.
BC: How do you know? Have you ever asked one?
MK: Never mind. 
BC: The ants followed my signs! That's the only explanation! They weren't here before I put up the signs and within 24 hours of me putting them up, they came! THE SIGNS WORKED!!! THE SIGNS WORKED!!! Happy day!!! In no time, my bowl will be full of turkeys and tunas and lots of nummy stuff!
MK: Bear, you walked right past the ants like they weren't even there. And I moved your food bowl to get rid of anything that could have kept the ones there that I missed. If I'd kept your food bowl there, they'd have eventually been in your regular food bowl.
BC: EXACTLY! That's why I put the signs up!
MK: They would have been EATING your food you pain in the butt ... not surrendering themselves as it.
BC: If they ate my food, they'd be FAT, EXTRA tasty, whole ants.
MK: You're ridiculous.
BC: Yesterday's comments said my plan with the signs was genius!
MK: They definitely learned you think with your belly.
BC: The hardest part was finding a pen to make the signs. You have NO IDEA how hard it is to find a pen around here! Every time I need one, I CAN'T FIND ONE! You'd think somecat came in here during the night and batted them all under the furniture. Oh, wait. No. That's me. RATS!
MK: Welcome to my life.
BC: You bat the pens under the furniture too?
{Pause}
BC: WHAT?!?! Why are you LOOKING at me like that?
MK: Why do I get the feeling you know EXACTLY what I mean when I say something, you just PRETEND to think I said something else entirely to irritate me?
BC: Because irritating you is too fun to resist.
MK: Great.
BC: Oops.
MK: Speaking of signs, how about I make one for you?
BC: COOL! What would it say? HANDSOME? SEXY? FEROCIOUS? PURVEYOR ... NO! CONNOISSEUR of TASTY WHOLE NOMS?
MK: "SOMECAT."
{Pause}
BC: Well that's not very ... Do you want to hear my song again?
MK: Once wasn't enough?
BC: You're right! It wasn't! {AHEM}

Nummy Day,
Sweepin' the hungry away
With chicken, fish, turkey, tuna AND beef.

Can you tell tasty whole noms
How to get to Bear's food bowl.

Come and lie,
Everything will die,
Hungry Bear Cat's there,
That's where he eats.

MK: That's enough ...
BC: TADA!

MK: My cat, the consummate showman.
BC: OH! OH! You want a show? I'll GIVE you a show! I can sing and dance! I can play the ... play the ... err ... what instrument do I play?
MK: My nerves?
BC: Hahaha! And your patience! For my next number ...
MK: Bear ...
BC: {THWACK!} {CRASH!} TADA! I call that falling toaster! SO much easier when it's unplugged.
MK: Can I have a bit of peace and quiet?
{Pause}
BC: You're welcome. WHEW! That was tough to keep quiet for that long!
MK: {sigh} Come here, Love Bug.
BC: OOOOOOOH! SNUGGLES! I love you, Momma.
MK: I love you too, Bug.
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
MK: {thinking} Better than silence?
BC: PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Picture of the Day:
When all you want is some stupid service in this joint and all you get is a thousand pictures.


Featured posts of the Day:
If you missed the post on Bear's signs: How to get to Bear's food bowl.
Did you miss Bear's last encounter with ants? Deformed Spiders and Squashed Logic.
For those of you who are surprised at Bear's single-mindedness when his belly's involved: Food Exuberance and Kitty Temper Tantrums.

16 comments:

  1. Aaaaaaaw You are soooo handsum Bear. We think da signs are a great idea. We're not so much 'bout da fat juicy ants, but who knows, they might make a good appetizer. MOL So long as they aren't those big red stingin' ones. As fur da treats, we missed what you got to try, but we don't eat every treat on da market either. It's goota be a good one and furesh too. Hope ya'll have a great weekend.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you :) Momma doesn't tell me I'm handsome NEARLY enough :)

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  2. Bear, we need to set you up with Mauricio so you two dudes can spend your days talking to each other so our peeps can get a bit of peace and quiet. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    Replies
    1. Oooh! OOoh! Does he have lots of IDEAS too? You might regret us getting together ;)

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  3. Bear!!!!! Tell Momma Kat that she can CHOCOLATE COVER (carob of course, safe for cats) one of those juicy ants for you!!! Pal, you shouldn't have divulged our pen secret though! Love, Cody catchatwithcarenandcody

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I didn't divulge the pen secret, my Momma would've had no problem blurting it out for the world to hear! She thinks honesty is the best policy. I just think she's weak.

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  4. Replies
    1. We get lots of spiders and other exotic looking bugs where we live because our condo is half underground. Momma doesn't really let me hunt them though because she says it's not nice. You de-leg 100 spiders and all of a sudden your Momma gets mad and starts letting them get away from you or taking them outside. Hmph. More time to cause other trouble, right? She lets me get the moths though (okay, okay, she thinks I WON'T get them and then I have to prove her wrong!).

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  5. Great song,is it the same tuna as Sesame Street?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How'd you know? Momma's 38 and she still runs around singing the song every so often. Eesh.

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  6. Bear, we're coming to your house to do some ant-hunting. The bugs around here are really lame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We get lots of spiders and other exotic looking bugs where we live because our condo is half underground. Momma doesn't really let me hunt them though because she says it's not nice. You de-leg 100 spiders and all of a sudden your Momma gets mad and starts letting them get away from you or taking them outside. Hmph. More time to cause other trouble, right?

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  7. Ugh, I hate when the ants come out to play! We have really teeny tiny ones in these parts, so sometimes I miss 'em. But you can count on Sophie to sit and stare at them, I suppose trying to clue me in. And very nice picture, Bear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't ever notice the ants. Except that time they got in my food bowl last year. Momma squashed a bunch in a small space on the floor and went to get the dustbuster ... she came back to find me rolling in the dead ant pile. She wasn't amused. Oops.

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    2. I can see why she wasn't amused. I wouldn't have been either.

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    3. You should see the look of horror on her face when I roll in the mud. It's ALMOST worth the dirty fur :)

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