Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Bananas and POOF!

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Bananas and POOF!:
BC: Momma! MoooooommmMMMA! MOMMA! Look!
MK: What? What's wrong?

BC: You're falling apart!
MK: That's a little extreme ...
BC: You're losing pieces!
MK: What?
BC: Look! YOU'RE LOSING PIECES! SEE! A chunk just fell off your arm!
MK: What are you ...
BC: You better fill my food bowl and give me my wet food treat now just in case you disintegrate by my food time!
MK: What are you ...
BC: AHH! Part of your head!
MK: BEAR! I'm peeling.
BC: I don't want to know what's inside! Just keep your skin ON! 

MK: Bear ...
BC: You're NOT a banana! No wait a minute. You are BANANAS, but you aren't A BANANA.
MK: No. My SUNBURN is peeling. The skin got burned so the old burned skin peels off.
BC: That's disgusting!
MK: Says the cat that leaves dander everywhere, licks his own butt, and doesn't think twice about rolling in the mud and then cleaning himself on the blanket on my bed.
BC: You act like I do that all the time!
MK: And?
BC: Oh. (BLEEP)!

MK: {to herself} Can't scratch ... can't scratch ... itchy, itchy, itchy!
BC: Don't worry, Momma! I'll help you!
MK: Wha?
BC: MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
MK: OWWWWWWW! Why'd you scratch me?
BC: Because you couldn't scratch your itch! I was HELPING.
MK: No. I can't scratch because my scratching makes it worse!
BC: EXACTLY. So I scratched your itch FOR you.
MK: It doesn't matter WHO scratches me ... scratching makes it worse!
BC: NOW you tell me!
MK: Believe me, I wish I'd been clear and specific about that before.
BC: I'm good at scratching.
MK: No kidding. Which reminds me. It's time to clip your claws.
BC: WHAT?!?!? I was just trying to HELP and now you're taking my life's blood away from me!
MK: No. I'm preserving MY life's blood from a cat that's just A LITTLE BIT too claw happy.
BC: Your life is MEAN. MEAN. MEAN, MEAN!
MK: And yet, I keep my claws to myself.
BC: NOT true! Your filthy claws clip my claws!
MK: It DOESN'T hurt you!
BC: How do you know? YOU'RE NOT A CAT!
MK: I know because you freaked me out enough with your little trauma drama that I asked the vet on FIVE different yearly visits if it could POSSIBLY hurt you to clip your claws.
BC: So now the vet's a cat?
MK: Bear ... the vet could barely contain her laughter until we left.
BC: Which time?
{Pause}
BC: RATS!
{Pause}
BC: And you believe HER over ME?
MK: Kind of. Though I'm still not sure. I just stopped asking because of the looks she gave me. Now that she left and we've seen the other guy for awhile, maybe I'll ask him. He probably hasn't read every detail of your chart to know how many times I've asked the question before.
BC: SO YOU ADMIT IT!
MK: NO. I only admit that I'm still worried. But I worry your tumor will grow back even though it wasn't the kind that grows back. I'm also worried you're going to burn the house down. 
BC: That sounds fun! But I'm not allowed to play with matches! Or the toaster.
{Pause}
BC: Oh.
{Pause}
BC: I have a deal for you!
MK: Oh no.
BC: If you don't clip my claws, I won't burn down the house.
MK: Bear, it's not funny to even JOKE about that.
BC: Am I laughing?
MK: All your food, all your toys, your litter box, your cat tree ... ALL in the house. What do you think would happen to all of them if you started the house on fire?
BC: That's not even funny to JOKE about!
MK: Exactly.
BC: SHEESH! Do YOU have an attitude problem today! I make ONE LITTLE JOKE!
MK: POOF! To ALL your food and toys, Bear. POOF!
BC: Oh, shut up. You don't have to RUB IT IN.

If you missed the original post on Momma's sunburn, you can find it in: The lobster (Gary and Larry - part 2).

Picture of the Day:
When your stupid mousie falls off the chair and you don't feel like jumping off the chair to bring him back.


Featured post of the Day:
More often than not, when Momma rereads our old posts, she's disappointed because they aren't nearly as funny as she remembers. But there is one exception in which she was very pleasantly surprised (she remembered it as the non-funny, crappy post to kind of sweep under the carpet and pretend never happened) ... Meow McQuacky-Pants & Bear's Food Time. Since we rediscovered it a month ago, we've gone back and laughed ourselves silly at least a couple of times. 

Here is the original introduction: How seriously does Bear take his food time? And how much drama or chaos can one cat stir up in one conversation? And is Momma telling the truth about Meow McQuacky-Pants or did she really "like" him? Sit back and enjoy the crazy things Momma never imagined she'd ever say out loud ... Meow McQuacky-Pants & Bear's Food Time.

15 comments:

  1. Cute foto. Dat cube sure looks innerestin'. And Bear you look handsum as always. Sorry we missed da posty 'bout da sunburn, cuz mommy coulda told ya' what to do so it wouldn't hurt or peel. When she lived in California she got 3rd degree sunburns on da 4th of July in a skimpy binky at da ocean. Did me mention mommy be a redhead? She said she never did dt again, but she used shavin' cream and it took all da heat out and left her with da bestest tan she ever had. Anyways, ya'll have a great day.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Momma is reddish-brown (A LOT of red undertones). And this is also why she's very fair skinned. She doesn't tan ... white or red. If this ever happens again (she swears she's learned), she'll try your mom's trick :)

      Delete
  2. Oh, I hate that peeling stage! Always embarrassing to go out in public and have a giant flake ready to fall off! Bear was just trying to help you, I guess. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. My Mom used to lifeguard back in the day, she went through more new skin than a snake. Love, Cody catchatwithcarenandcody

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tell your Mama to wear a hat in the sun! Our Mama remembers getting sunburns a long time ago and now she always wears a hat in the sun...she doesn't like sunscreen!

    the critters in the cottage xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's EXACTLY why my Momma doesn't wear it. She's not stupid ... we've had a few cases of skin cancer in our family even ... she just REALLY hates sunscreen. Most of the time, it's not a big deal. But maybe once a year, when visiting family, they'll do something outside that causes problems :(

      Delete
  5. Your poor Mom, I hope she doesn't disappear on you. Very cute photo of you not wanting to get your mousie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I asked my Momma nicely to pick it up and she did. She loves me. She sometimes gets frustrated with me, but she always loves me :)

      Delete
  6. Bear, we can't believe Momma Kat didn't want your help with the peeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I KNOW! What are claws for, if not for ripping and tearing ... I mean PEELING ;)

      Delete
  7. The Police in London used to be called Peelers, though I suspect they didn't have to deal with flaky skin! Maybe your peep would be amenable to having a chicken do the scratching? That way once it was finished you needn't worry about getting lunch in. purrs ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BRILLIANT! Kill two birds with one stone! Well ... I guess it would TECHNICALLY only be ONE bird ... but if it's one tasty whole bird, that's good enough! ~Bear Cat

      Delete