Thursday, June 16, 2016

Squinty eyes

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Squinty eyes:
BC: I love you, Momma.
MK: I love you too, Bear.
BC: What's wrong with your eyes?
MK: What do you mean?
BC: Your eyes are all squinty. Is something in your eyes?
MK: I'm trying to communicate in cat.
BC: But you're not a cat! You think by stealing our little mannerisms that one day you'll actually BECOME a cat? You think, "Oh! Cats are SO CUTE! SO DARLING!"
MK: HEY! I NEVER use the word 'darling.' Especially in regards to something with fangs and claws.
BC: Whatever. You think if you steal our mannerisms people will think you're cute too? It doesn't work like that! YOU'RE NOT A CAT!
MK: No. I've read from a couple sources that one of the ways cats communicate love is by looking at the objects of their affection with squinty eyes.
BC: Phht. Obviously crap.
MK: Why do you say that?
BC: Why would cats look at themselves with squinty eyes? If you have squinty eyes, you can barely see. And I like to admire my generous handsomeness.
MK: But you 
sometimes look at me with squinty eyes.
BC: How does getting something stuck in your eyes and squinting communicate anything?
{Pause}
BC: Then again, I could say squinting when I look at you saves my eyes ...
{Pause}
BC: But STILL. YOU'RE telling ME how cats express love?
MK: I'm trying to express it in a way that you'll immediately identify.
BC: The only thing I immediately identified was that there was something in your eyes. Why don't you just stick with cuddles and ear rubs and belly rubs and back scratches and dropping everything you're doing to do any of the above and making me cool new toys and playing with me and setting down towels to keep my paws warm and feeding me lots of fishy and all the things you ALREADY do that show me you love me?
MK: Okay, then.
BC: Psst.
{Pause}
BC: PSST!!!!
MK: Why are you "PSST"ing?
BC: Feeding me lots of fishy.
{Pause}
BC: PSST!
MK: Yes, Bear?
BC: Playing with me!
{Pause}
BC: PSST!!!
MK: {sigh} Yes?
BC: EAR RUBS!
MK: Are you giving me hints?
BC: Phht. Don't be ridiculous. We cats don't HINT. We whack you over the head with our demands until you capitulate and give us whatever we want. Hints are for sissies. And dogs. Though dogs ARE sissies so the latter doesn't really add to the former. Just saying. If you really want to show me how much you love me ... FISHY ... PLAYING! .... EAR RUBS ... not this squinty-eye nonsense. You just look weird. Or should I say weirder than usual?
MK: Great. Thanks.
BC: You're welcome.

Picture of the Day:

Bear Cat puts the "bathing" in "sunbathing."

Featured post of the Day:

There are many pleasures in sharing one's life with a cat ... there are also some ... umm ... adjustments that must be made. This is our list of  tell-tale proof that you've "adapted" to life with a cat: Life With a Cat {oh what FUN!?!?}.

Notes:
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8 comments:

  1. Humans should never try to speak cat. They just don't get it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! Last time she meowed at me she said, "Cheese the butt goat ankle gas huge." WHAT THE CAT IS THAT?!?! ~Bear Cat

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    2. Faraday: SERIOUSLIES!!! They musta hid behind tha door when the kitteh genes was passed around!

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    3. Just like those humans. My Momma doesn't fit under the bed but it doesn't stop her from trying! Err ... okay, so maybe she's not ACTUALLY trying to hide, she's trying to pull me out, put that's just between us! ~Bear Cat

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  2. Hope you not only got your ear rubs and fishy but everything else you asked and wished for as well. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    Replies
    1. Hmph. My Momma calls me DEMANDING. It's not DEMANDING when you refuse to except less than you deserve! ~Bear Cat

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  3. That's a great picture of you, Bear. But I think you need to be nicer to your momma. She's just trying to show how much she loves you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why she follows me around taking pictures too! Love can be a huge PAIN IN THE BUTT. But she's good at ear rubs. I'll keep her until something better comes along. ~Bear Cat

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