Sunday, July 19, 2015

Where Da Fishy?

What happens when Bear isn't happy? You'd think that a cat could not find anything more annoying than the human child's repetitive "why," but that would be a gross miscalculation. Bear's unhappiness is a serious dilemma and not something he takes lightly. So take some ibuprofen, buckle your seat belts and find out where da fishy!

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

{Bear runs into to the kitchen with a crazed look}
BC: WHERE DA FISHY?!?!?
MK: Excuse me?
BC: Where da fishy?
MK: What fishy?
BC: My fishy radar is going crazy. Therefore, there are fishy on the premises. I don't need to hear the can to know when fishy in da house!
MK: My fishy.
BC: You da fishy?
MK: NO! The fishy is mine.
BC: But you don't like fishy!
MK: I don't usually CHOOSE fishy, but occasionally, it's not so bad.
BC: But I always choose fishy! I love fishy! Give me your fishy!
MK: No.
BC: But I'd appreciate it more!
MK: No.
BC: Are you going to start eating my fishy?
MK: I doubt it.
BC: How do you know?
MK: Because putting out your fishy every day is one of the main reasons I gag every time I think "fish."
BC: FISH-EY! Oh. So you feed me the stuff you don't want?
MK: You should be happy. The smell repulses me so you never have to wonder about me eating your food.
BC: Why are you torturing me with the smell of da fishy and then not giving me any?
MK: I'm just trying to have dinner!
BC: Can I at least lick da fishy?
MK: NO.
BC: Where da fishy?
MK: Bear.
BC: Where DA fishy?
MK: Bear!
BC: Where da FISHY!
MK: Holy monkey biscuits! You aren't getting my fish!
BC: EE
MK: What?
BC: EE. Fish-ee.
MK: WHO CARES?
BC: I do. But monkey biscuits sound good. Can I have some of those?
MK: No.
BC: Oh sure. You want the monkey biscuits too. You can't share with your starving cat.
MK: There are no monkey biscuits!
BC: Then why did you say, "monkey biscuits?"
MK: Because I was frustrated!
BC: So I can make up strange confections if I'm frustrated?
MK: Why not.
BC: WHERE DA FISHY! If I don't get da fishy, there will be spider leg furball muffins!
MK: Oh, Bear.
BC: Sardine scones!
BC: Anchovy pancakes!
BC: Tuna buns!
BC: Flounder doughnuts!
MK: Bear!
BC: Salmon popovers!
MK: That's enough!
BC: Oh sure. Just ignore MY creations. Ooooooh. Monkey biscuits my butt. False advertising. 
MK: You are driving me nuts!
BC: I don't like nuts.
MK: Fruity.
BC: Ditto.
MK: Are you trying to make me crazy?
BC: You weren't already?
MK: Are you just bored? Do you need a hug?
BC: I need da fishy!
MK: I should have seen that coming.
BC: What? Are you seeing things again?
MK: Oh my head!
BC: You see your own head? Is that some new kind of dissociation? Leave it to you to create a new mental illness!
MK: I need a padded room . . .
BC: Oooh! New furniture! Let me sharpen my claws first!
MK: I don't feel so good . . . 
BC: You don't look so good. Maybe you should lie down. Can I have da fishy?
MK: NO FISH!
BC: EE! Geez. You don't have to shout. I'm not deaf.
MK: For crying out loud!
BC: It's OK to cry. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I know your life can sometimes be frustrating - not everything is the bright beacon I am in your life. We can snuggle if you need to cry. 
MK: That's nice . . .
BC: After I get da FISHY!
MK: Why?
BC: Why what?
MK: Why do you torture me?
BC: Because I want da fishy!
MK: No.
BC: Fishy hater.
MK: Sanity hater.
BC: Fishy tyrant.
MK: Sanity tyrant.
BC: Bear hater.
MK: The end.
BC: That means I won da fishy?
MK: No.
BC: Then it's not the end.
MK: Fine. I two da fishy.
BC: I three da fishy.
MK: I four da fishy.
BC: I five da fishy.
MK: I six da fishy.
BC: I seven da fishy.
MK: I ate da fishy!
BC: Rats! I'm going to sit by my water bowl. I expect da fishy to be swimming in there soon.
MK: Have fun.
BC: Only with da fishy!
MK: You're grounded.
BC: But I never go anywhere anyway! You're as tough as da overcooked fishy!
MK: Yep.
BC: Double rats!
MK: You mean drats?
BC: You're not funny. You're annoying.
MK: I'll join your club.
BC: TRATS!


When Bear's Not Happy . . . Momma's Not Happy

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